Page 20

XYREK

Several times, I was close to changing course. I needed to go to Darlam, not back to Astrionis, but this urge to see her was relentless. It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn the damn mating marks were burning. I was pretty sure it was only my imagination, though. I hadn't felt anything like it before Lord Protector Garth mentioned that it had been like this for the others.

On top of that, I hadn’t been able to reach her last night. The night before, she indicated she might go to Rottvan, so there was a possibility she was just out of range. The stars only knew what kind of backwater planet Rottvan was. They might not have any reception relays there at all. But not having been able to talk to her didn't sit well with me. With the added worry about her well-being, I was slowly working myself into a frenzy the likes of which I had never experienced before.

And if that wasn't enough, the dreams of that strange world—during what little sleep I caught—were gaining in intensity. Not only that, but there were times I felt Alice's presence in them. I didn't see her, but it felt like she was there. With me.

I had no idea what any of this meant, but it brought the urgency of how much I needed some answers to the forefront of my mind. I hoped that Darlam or the other Space Guardians would provide them. But first, I needed to see her. Speak to her. Assure myself that she was okay.

Damn her anyway.

And damn the mating marks.

And whoever was responsible for them.

I didn't like anybody fucking with me, but when it extended to my emotions … —I hated just thinking that word. I was livid. Furious. As soon as I found out who or what was responsible for it, I would send them straight to B'Rtrx—a planet covered in lava and volcanoes. I would dangle them on a rope from my ship and watch them slowly roast.

Planning various versions of this demise made the time go by faster, but it still felt as if the ship was flying through a morass instead of slicing through space at hyperspeed.

I had no idea what I would say or do upon returning to Astrionis. Frankly, I hadn't planned on anything beyond finally laying my eyes on her again. Breathing the same air as her. Frygg. I was totally losing it. And the powerlessness behind it drove me mad.

It was late afternoon when I landed on Astrionis. Just like before, Lord Protector Garth and his mate Silla waited for me at the end of the extended platform. I stomped down it, my head turning left and right to catch a glimpse of her , but she was nowhere to be seen. Would it have been too much to ask of the insufferable female to be here? She had to know my ship had landed—stubbornly, I refused to believe she had indeed left.

"You didn't bring me more humans this quickly, did you, Space Guardian?" Lord Protector Garth asked, but there wasn't much hope in his expression. He looked more resigned.

"Unfortunately not," I confirmed his statement.

"She's not here," Lady Silla said, coming forward and hugging me. Hugging me? What the frygg? Like we were long-lost friends.

"Where is she?" I pressed out after I waited some excruciating ticks for her to let me go again.

"She went to Rottvan a few hours ago. She is my new Chief Engineer." Garth proudly filled me in.

It was the pride in his voice that threw me off for a moment. But it wasn't hard to realize that Alice would be an asset to anybody, especially a new colony. I wondered what she had done to impress the Lord Protector this much.

Frygg, I should have known. Her talents would be in high demand at the new colony. Anywhere, really. She would be doing exactly what she was best at. This new job was just what she needed. My hand moved through my hair to ground me.

I didn't have anything like this to offer to her. I repeatedly watched her take cleaning drones apart and put them back together until she had it right and things worked as they had before. I didn't fully understand her desire for it, but it was obvious that she loved doing things with her hands, fixing things, building things. She had been formidable, saving all of us from being returned to the Ohrurs. What could I offer her? An unknown future, danger, and a grumpy Space Guardian who hadn't done anything to earn her favor.

"You should go to her," Silla said, pressing my arm with her small fingers.

Her light honey eyes looked at me as if she could see to the bottom of my soul, as if she had read every single thought that had just run through my mind. I'd never been the type of male to pour my heart out to others. Frygg, I had never had any others to pour my heart out to. But for some reason, I felt close to this female—the Lady of Astrionis.

"I'm sure she will be happy on Rottvan. She loves fixing and repairing," I said.

"She did an outstanding job on my forge," Lord Protector Garth agreed, earning himself a reproachful glare from his mate.

"What?" He turned to her, shrugging. "She did."

"They have mating marks," Lady Silla chided.

"I told you we can get matching tattoos if you want to," Garth replied, looking exasperated. I felt like I was missing something in their conversation, but honestly, it was slightly amusing.

"That's not the same, and you know it." Silla pouted.

"It's not my fault that Pandraxians don't have this particular trait. You're still my mekarry," he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her forehead.

This display of affection should have made me nauseated, should have made me run the other way. Instead, I stared. As impolite as it was. I had never seen a couple like them before. The love between the two was obvious and deep. Was that what fated mates did? Felt like for one another?

I remembered the urge that had made me kiss Alice. It had been for show, and yet it hadn't. Not from the moment our lips touched. The need to do it again had never left me. Was that fated mate stuff?

I didn't want to interrupt their moment, so I took a step back to the platform, ready to get back on my ship. From there… Rottvan? The planet lured me. No, not the planet. Her . Alice . Still, she was where she undoubtedly would be happy—needed—where her talents would be valued. Again, what did I have to offer her?

Nothing!

Not a thing.

"Listen to your heart, not your brain," Silla suddenly said.

"Silla," Garth warned.

"I'm sorry you are going to lose your new Chief Engineer, Garth. But really? They have mating marks. They belong together." Silla's eyes were shooting flames at her mate. When she turned to me, she softened. "I'm serious, Xyrek. Whatever is going on with you two, it’s the heart that matters, nothing else."

I rubbed the back of my neck, slowly moving my head from side to side as if in denial of the words coming out of my mouth. "I don't have anything to offer her."

"You have plenty to offer her. You." She spoke with so much conviction, it was hard to argue with it. For the second time, she grabbed my arm and gently squeezed. "Listen, for whatever reason, the universe decided you two belong to each other. You owe it to yourselves to give it a chance and uncover what fate wants you to discover. Like it or not, Alice is part of this, just like the others who have been bonded to your brothers."

Brothers!

I nodded.

Yes, brothers. That's what they were to me. Space Guardians had always had a brotherhood. We might not get along with each other, but anyone threatening one of us threatens all of us. Now, though, for the first time, I wondered if this brotherhood ran deeper than I had ever imagined. Not only because it sounded like we were all wearing matching mating marks, but because of something else. The dream. I remember vividly running through the forest and seeing the town. Deep down, I knew this was home and that I was meant to find it. A slight headache spread through my brain as I thought of it, but I ignored it.

"I'm sorry, Lord Protector," I said to Garth, meaning it.

He closed his eyes as if praying for patience. "I understand." He sounded resigned.

Silla rose on her tiptoes, and her hands moved my head down so she could reach me before she planted a kiss on each of my cheeks. "Go get her."

A rare smile spread my lips, and I gave her a tight nod. "I promise we will come back when this is all over."

"Don't make any promises yet, Space Guardian. You know I would love nothing more than to have you and the others here, but I won't take any promises until you know what your destiny holds in store for you." Lord Protector Garth said. Wise words.

It felt strange leaving them, as if I was leaving a family I had never had. But the thought of seeing Alice soon made me nearly run up the platform back to my ship. With dread, I realized it would take three days to reach Rottvan. Frygg. It not only meant that it would take much longer than anticipated to see her again—and I had no one else besides my stupid, stubborn nature to blame for that. I should have never let her go—but it would also take us three days further away from Darlam.