Page 26

XYREK

I was shaken to the core. It had been like a tsunami taking me under and over, twisting and turning me however it pleased. It hadn’t been a dream, even though I had been asleep before it happened. But the moment I felt like someone had kicked me from inside my brain, I was wide awake. Unable to move under the onslaught of memories, my inner self writhed, torn between agony and the most incredible happiness. The only way I could explain this was to imagine a wall in my brain—a dam, holding back a sea of memories, crumbling from the water pressure on the other side. Little droplets had escaped here and there, feeding me impressions of my past. Over the last couple of years, more and more had broken through, until tonight, the dam fully broke, resulting in a tsunami of emotions that nearly drowned me.

My head was so full of impressions, memories, and things I now knew that I wasn’t sure where to start. It was like a forgotten basket of cords. Every time you picked at one, it turned out it was intermingled with others, even knotted in places, and before you knew it, you were working on the yellow cord instead of on the blue one where you started or the red one that had you distracted for a tick.

My emotions were all over the place; I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or laugh or kill someone. The name Allisaahn echoed in my head and heart. She had been real; I knew that without a shadow of a doubt. I had loved her—I loved her still. She was this incredible female in my arms. Allisaahn-Alice. They sounded so much alike. That couldn't be a coincidence, could it? No, nothing seemed like a coincidence anymore; everything pointed to something. A higher power… something… was bringing us together, weaving the kind of magic I didn’t believe in. Alice looked nothing like Allisaahn, and yet the resemblance was there. Their stubbornness, their mannerism, the fire in their eyes.

Again, emotions got the better of me because the last time I saw Allisaahn, I was dying, and she was already dead in my arms. But now I was alive, and so was she—albeit in a different form—and I loved Alice just as much as I had loved Allisaahn. So, was I supposed to be happy to be here with her or heartbroken because she had died? Confusion rippled through me so much that I had no words to express it. It threatened to consume me if I didn’t ground myself.

I needed to think this through, so I asked Alice the first question that popped into my head: "How did you get your name?"

"Really?" She stared at me. "That's what you want to know right now?"

She was right, yet this might be another piece of the puzzle.

"Please," I pressed.

She rolled her eyes. "Because you said please," she huffed.

Her body stiffened, and I could tell she didn't want to discuss it.

"My mom was high like always when I was born," she said after a long pause.

"High?" I didn't want to interrupt her, but I didn't understand what she meant, and it sounded important.

"She was a drug user. She and the rest of my family," Alice explained, a detached pain edged into her features. And suddenly, her pain and story became more important to me than anything else. I realized I had never asked her about her past or her abduction by the Cryons. I really was an ass.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Some people weren't meant to have kids," she shrugged.

"Not that," I replied sincerely. "I've never asked about you. What happened to you, and about your past."

"Well, we didn't exactly have time to… socialize." She waved her hand, but a small gleam in her eyes told me that she was pleased I was asking now.

"Anyway, the story goes that mom was high, and when the nurse asked her what she wanted to name me, she slurred something like…" She scrunched up her face in concentration to get the sound just right. "Allishahh."

A shiver went down my spine. That sounded even more like Allisaahn. She must have noticed it at the same time. Her eyes blinked in confusion. "That's so weird."

I nodded, giving her time to collect herself. "Well, the nurse knew how wasted Mom was and had mercy on me, so she put Alice down on the birth certificate. Probably the only normal thing that ever happened to me."

"It must have been hard to grow up with a drug-addicted mother," I wagered. "Did she ever sober up?" Probably not, if Earth drugs were anything like the drugs we had out here. I had terminated many criminals who had fallen victim to various sorts of means of altering their brain chemistry. The drugs turned them into very vicious assholes. It made me angry thinking that Alice had grown up in that environment.

"She didn't, neither did my father nor my siblings. I was the only one who stayed sober."

My strong little mate ! If there had been any lingering doubt that she was my mate , it was gone. I wished I could erase those memories for her, wished it had been me instead of her going through a nightmare like that, but I couldn't. All I could do was show her how proud of her I was that, despite all odds, she was here, not addicted, and stronger than ever.

I held her tight for several heartbeats. "You are the strongest female I know."

"Well…" she laughed, "how many women have you actually got to know like me?"

A low chuckle rose in my chest. "You're right. You're the first and only," besides Allisaahn , my mind amended. But since they were the same, I didn't think it counted. But I still had to learn a lot about Allisaahn in this incarnation. First, I would have to make her understand, though.

"Somehow, I feel special." She fluttered her eyelashes at me, increasing my chuckle despite all the dark thoughts racing through my head.

"Alright, joking aside." She pressed my hand. “Tell me what happened and who Allisaahn is. Should I be jealous?"

"You'll never have reason to be jealous," I promised, turning serious like her. Then I swallowed, unsure of where to start.

Before the dam broke last night, I had been dreaming. Now, I knew that it must have been another memory that had trickled through before the subsequent full eruption. For some reason, the dream played out a few days before the end. The sequence might not make a difference, but since this was the clearest dream I had ever had, and it happened just before the memories swallowed me up, I decided to start there.

* * *

I finished dressing the Ikaroo I caught earlier that day, then went to pick Allisaahn up from her workshop, knowing fully well that if I didn't, she would stay there all night. I loved my mate, but her obsession with inventing and refining tools robbed her of sleep and nourishment. It was a good thing she had me to make sure she got plenty of both.

Her workshop, like most of the others, was located in the center of town, and on my way, I met several of our friends. We nodded greetings and exchanged a few pleasantries, but I didn't stop. I was in a hurry to see Allisaahn. Our bond was still fresh; barely a rotation—a year—had gone by since the mating marks appeared on both our bodies. Finally finding my Soulweb mate had been the highlight of my life.

Not all Soulweb mates lived in the same town, or even the same region, which was why every three rotations, a meeting was held at the Borrog Mountains—a holy place, where thousands of rotations ago, the gods landed to bless us with their love. It was called The Seeking , and all eligible single males and females of Darlam journeyed there in search of their Soulweb Mate.

That's where I met Allisaahn. I was already in my twenties and desperate to find my Soulweb mate. I had traveled from town to town for two rotations, hoping to find her, but my search had been in vain. All of my friends were already mated, and I felt their eyes of pity on me.

Shadebound . Nobody said it out loud, not even my family, but the word was there, in their eyes, in my mind and heart. More with every passing rotation during which I still hadn't found her. Shadebound was what we called the ones who lost their Soulweb mate. It meant being bound to a shadow of what once was. No matter what, our Soulweb mates were the ones we were destined to spend eternity with, even if we never met them in life.

People died on Darlam. Not often, there was no crime, no disease, but it happened. A person could get gored by an animal, fall down a cliff, or drown; there were many ways for death to stalk us. And when death came to one, it might as well claim two because the bound mate would never know happiness again. No matter if they had met yet or not.

All my life, I had prepared for my Soulweb Mate. Finding her was my ultimate life goal. Without her, I was damned to a long, lonely life. We only mated once for eternity. That's how we were born, and that's how we died. Deep in my bones, I felt that she was still out there, searching for me as hard as I was searching for her. I knew that the moment I saw her, I would recognize her like I had hundreds of times before. I would feel complete . I had no memories of the other times, but as sure as I knew I was going to take another breath, I knew that for thousands of rotations, we had been one.

Even so, I wasn’t fully prepared for the emotions that assaulted me the moment I laid eyes on her the very first day of The Seeking. My Allisaahn! She was four years younger, which explained why I hadn't seen her at the previous ceremony. The moment our eyes met, we knew. Custom dictated that we spend time with others and get to know them until our Soulweb Glyphs marked our bodies. But we both knew who we were to each other, and we spent every moment together.

The festivities took place over the course of a week, during which time Glyphs appeared on many bodies, and happy couples departed. By the fifth day, Allisaahn and I were concerned. Neither one of us had shown signs of our Soulweb Glyphs appearing. More than once, I had to chase off a desperate male who wanted to spend time with my Allisaahn. Males and females were becoming more distressed with every passing day that they hadn't found their bonded mate. We were a peaceful people; aggression was not in our nature, but desperation could turn people crazy, and I was worried about a physical altercation.

"We should run away,"Allisaahn suggested.

"We still have two days," I reminded her. The thought of running away didn't sit well with me. People did; sometimes, they returned with their mating marks, but more often, they were never seen again. Couples without Soulweb Glyphs were not accepted in our towns. It was believed they robbed their mates of the pleasure of being with them, as well as denied their destiny promised to them by the gods. There were rumors of a settlement way up in the mountains where those couples lived with their own community, but I wasn't sure if that was true or not. Shade's Vale was the name of the rumored town, populated by the damned. The outcasts. The ones who had rebelled against the gods and defied their commands.

Every morning that week, I woke, checked my arm, and cursed when I didn't see any black marks. Why would the gods fate us but deny us the ultimate proof of their approval?

On the morning of the seventh day, my mood was particularly bleak. We should run away , Allisaahn's words echoed in my mind. But how could I do that to her? To her mate? To the one I was sure was out there, looking for her as desperately as I had been. No, I'm her mate. I'm her true mate , my mind whispered. I didn't have the courage yet to look at my arm. This was the last morning, and I didn't know what I would do if my arm hadn't been marked yet. How could I let her go? How could I not? I was torn. I would have gladly lived the rest of my life out alone and desolate if I had known it meant she would find her Soulweb Mate and be happy. But I didn't know that.

I raked my hands through my hair and up and down my face, as despair clenched at my heart. The last of the ceremony attendees would leave today; they were packing as I was sitting in my tent, wallowing in misery.

"Xyrek! Xyrek!" Allisaahn's excited voice reached me from outside the tent before she threw the flap aside and entered. She held up her arm, where faint black lines were sneaking their way up her flesh.

Hope filled me for one moment, but when I looked at my silvery skin, there was no trace of it.

"It's not for me," I said in a broken voice.

"I refuse to believe that. I know you’re my Soulweb Mate. I do." She rushed forward, and before I could stop her, she threw the blanket I was covered with off me. Underneath, I was naked, but neither she nor I cared because we both stared in awe at the black lines sneaking up my thigh and hip. Laughter escaped her lips, and I joined in as I crushed her into my arms.

"Damn the gods for playing with us like this," I chuckled.

That was a rotation ago, and my love for her had only grown. That's why I wasn't all too happy to see my brother, Zaarek, stepping into my path on my way to her workshop. He had been gone for several moons, and I was happy to see him, but that paled in comparison to seeing Allisaahn.

"Brother, a word?" Zaarek spoke the last words I wanted to hear right then.

"Can it wait until the morning? I'm on my way to pick up Allisaahn. I'm pretty sure she hasn't eaten all day." I tried to step by him.

But he wasn't having it. He pulled me into his embrace and slapped my back, saying, "I missed you."

With a sigh, I returned his embrace, pounding just as hard, maybe more. "I missed you too."

"Come, I'll walk with you," he put his arm around my shoulder, knowing the way to Allisaahn's workshop as well as I.

"How is Noevah?" Noevah was his mate.

"She is good. I had a hard time getting her to leave Ax," he laughed. Ax was a bigger town, a few days' journey from Rek. Zaarek was our town's primarch and had traveled to Ax to confirm rumors of another species having arrived on our planet.

Despite my need to see Allisaahn, I stopped, "Is it true then?"

"Yes," Zaarek stopped as well. “I've met them. They call themselves Ohrurs, and there is something off about some of them. Evilness surrounds them."

War . The word, so strange and foreboding, entered my mind unbidden.

It was a word full of horror invented to keep us pure, yet it was still an abstract concept for us. In all the thousands of rotations of the history of Darlam, there had never been a war on this planet.

But now that one word echoed through my head. The promise of something looming, something dangerous to come, chilled me to the bone—a premonition.

"What do they want?" I asked.

"They claim they only want to trade, but some of their emissaries have already inquired if we are for hire." Zaarek looked down at his feet.

"Hire for what?" Even as I posed the question, the fine hairs at the back of my neck stood up.

"As their bodyguards, their mercenaries." He said, not looking up.

"Why?" I creased my brows. "Why would they want us…"

He shook his head, "According to them, we are the strongest species they have ever encountered. They're traders, and they need protection."

That's not who we were. I had never given my physical stature much thought. We were all built much alike. Some had stronger arms; some had stronger legs; it didn't matter to us. Every one of us lived, worked, and did what was necessary to make our community thrive. We all knew how to hunt and kill prey, but that was all the killing we ever did. We weren't fighters, and we never harmed each other.

"They are so much more technologically advanced than us," Zaarek filled me in. "They have machines that fly through the sky. They came from another planet, another galaxy."

"Are they gods, like the Arkhevari who blessed us long ago?" But even as I asked, I knew they weren't.

"More like demons," Zaarek warned. "We'll be meeting again soon. I just wanted to let you know and tell you to be careful."

"Careful?" What was he talking about?

"Don't leave Allisaahn alone, don't go anywhere alone." Zaarek's eyes darkened. "I have a bad feeling about this, brother."

So did I.