Page 35 of Grumpy Pucking Orc (Orcs on Ice #1)

She shrugged. “I know I make a difference in my patient’s lives, but I also earn a respectable living from that, so it’s not selfless charity.

I do volunteer quarterly at a free dental clinic, though, and I love that I’m helping children and our at-risk community there.

And I’m expanding my practice to supernatural dentistry!

It’s so exciting, and you’re to thank for that idea.

There are so many nonhumans in our city and in the area, and they deserve the same services as humans. ”

It was my turn to look at her in admiration. “You remind me of my mother in how strong your heart is, in how you pursue your passion with all of your being.”

Pink flooded her cheeks. “Thank you. That’s a very flattering comparison. I do love my career. It’s an important part of my life and of who I am. A lot of people think it’s silly to be this enthusiastic about dentistry, especially reconstructive work, but it means everything to me.”

“Tusks are very important to orcs,” I told her.

“We may not focus more than basic care on our other teeth, but our tusks are our heritage. Both males and females have them. They are different for each of us, and a symbol of who we are. The loss of a tusk, or of both of our tusks, is like the loss of self. We admire warriors who have been so disfigured in battle, but those warriors never accept that they are whole, and they always worry they are not truly an orc without both tusks.”

She nodded. “We have soldiers that have lost limbs in battle, and they struggle as well. The more I talk with you, Ozar, the more I realize we aren’t so different. There are culture things, of course, but deep down, I think both of our people want the same things from life.”

I felt dizzy at this revelation from her. “It is true. We want a home. A rewarding career. Someone to share our lives with in partnership. Children to love and to carry on our legacy. Peace and a clan where our needs are met, where our friends and family surround us.”

Her smile was warm. “Exactly. Except with humans, a good life doesn’t always involve a marriage or include children.”

It was as if I’d slammed into a mountain. I sucked in a breath and looked down into her face, feeling terror deep inside my chest. “No marriage? No children?”

She shrugged, not seeming to register the horror that had seized my very soul.

“I haven’t had the best of luck in my past relationships, but I do hope marriage might still be in my future.

As for children…I’m thirty. And I’m really focused on my career right now.

I’m not opposed to having kids, but it’s not at the top of my wish-list. Maybe just one.

Or two. But if I don’t have children, it’s okay.

My brother has two adorable daughters that I can spoil rotten, and although he hasn’t said anything, I’m pretty sure he and Whitney have another on the way.

So far, I’ve been happy being their favorite Aunt Jordan and not having any kids of my own. ”

I couldn’t breathe. I just couldn’t breathe. Every couple in our clan had given birth to orclets. There were solitary orcs who were without offspring, but those who had married always reproduced. The idea that there might be marriage without children was inconceivable.

“I have always wanted children,” I said, terrified that this pronouncement would spell the end of my relationship with Jordan. “Many children. Although as an only child, I accept that sometimes the fates have other plans.”

“Yes, six, as I remember.” She squeezed my hand. “I’ll admit being a little frightened at the idea of that many kids. I’d be happy with one or two, but more than that is kind of terrifying.”

One. Or two. My dreams of half a dozen orclets crumbled to dust. Jordan was my mate. There would be no other but her. And if having her meant giving up my dreams of a large family then…

I wasn’t sure I could give up those dreams.

“What about your career back home?” Jordan asked. “Do you travel a lot?”

It took a few seconds for me to push the panic over children aside.

“I specialize in taking a troop into the outskirts of our territory to ensure the major roads and the forests are clear of rogues and dangerous predators. I also accompany our traders during the season when we journey to other clans to sell our wares and purchase items for the clan. I am often away from the clan most of the year.”

She eyed me. “So, it’s like our military. You’re always deployed and on the move. Seldom home with your family. I’d think having a wife and six kids would interfere with that, especially since you told me you wanted to be an involved parent.”

The reality of that sank into me. “In the past, I didn’t have a family beyond my father to be home with. Things would change if I was married and had children.”

“Would they?” she asked. “Because—I’ll be honest here—things wouldn’t change that much for me if I decided to have a child.

A few months after giving birth, I’d return to work, and my baby would have a nanny or some sort of childcare.

I’d still be there in the evenings and morning, and on the weekends, but I wouldn’t ever want to give up my practice.

Would you give up your role as Clan Guardian when you had children? ”

I’d never really thought of that. I mean, yes, I’d expected to be sent out less frequently with a new bride and a young orclet at home, but as my children aged and my marriage solidified, I had always thought my wife would remain home while I renewed my pre-marriage Guardian duties.

But now that Jordan had put that all into words, it seemed terribly unfair—both to my children and my bride.

It wasn’t what I wanted. As much as I loved being a Clan Guardian, spending time with my mate and my children was more important to me.

“I think a change would be needed if I were to marry and have children,” I confessed. “I want to be a major influence in my orclets’ lives, and I don’t want to spend that much time away from my bride unless there is an immediate danger to the clan.”

“I could thankfully schedule my work around any major events, like parent-teacher conferences or sick days,” she mused.

“And my practice isn’t open on major holidays or weekends, so I would be able to attend Little League games or ballet recitals or whatever.

I’d make it work, but there’s no way I could ever give up the business I worked so hard to create. ”

It sounded reasonable but worry wound through me. We’d just met, and these discussions were a way for us to explore our values and priorities. But I hadn’t expected us to want such different things.

“This must be such a huge change for you,” she commented. “Coming to a strange land, living among the humans, and playing hockey for a professional team. That’s a long way from being Guardian for your clan.”

I breathed out, trying to push the worry aside and talk about less emotionally charged topics.

“It hasn’t been easy,” I confessed. “Things are very different here. I cannot deny that I am often homesick, but I do find the human world intriguing and enjoyable even with the differences. Plus, I am glad to have met you. Meeting you has made all the difficulties worthwhile.”

She sucked in a breath, her eyes huge as she looked up at me. “Really?”

“With you, I’m the orc I want to be.” I dropped my arm from her shoulder and entwined my fingers with hers. “I’m more than a Clan Guardian. All the expectations of what I need to be as an orc, as someone who fights for the clan’s territory. None of that matters right now. With you, I can be…”

“Tender? Thoughtful? Caring? Silly and playful?”

I nodded.

“I love those things about you, Ozar. I like that you’re more than a warrior, a scowling gruff leader.

Don’t get me wrong, the whole powerful protector thing is sexy, but it’s not as sexy to me as the orc who bought play weapons for his clan’s future children and proceeded to have a mock battle with me in his apartment.

Or the orc who plays with human kids in the park.

I’m…I’m not the most flexible person in the world.

I have my routine, and I like to keep to that.

But with you? I might feel safe and in control enough to explore the idea of something different than what I’d pictured as my future. ”

My heart soared, and I gazed into her eyes.

“Spend the night at my house?” She smiled and her hand squeezed mine. “Please? My home isn’t far from here, and I can always Uber to get my car at the stadium tomorrow morning before work.”

All I heard was the invitation to spend the night with her. Which I quickly accepted.