Page 18 of Grumpy Pucking Orc (Orcs on Ice #1)

Ozar

L eaving Jordan’s place of business, I headed straight to the stadium. I was expecting to be grilled by my teammates about my meeting with Jordan. I was not expecting to have a wad of paper shoved in my face the moment I walked into our locker room.

“Clan Guardian?” Eng mocked. “You should have been an Rkwanala .”

Snatching the paper from his hands, I saw there was a large picture on the front—me with the human children at the playground.

It looked like it had been taken yesterday, which made sense since I’d spent several hours playing with the human young at Patterson Park.

Curiosity about the picture meant it took a few seconds for Eng’s words to sink in.

Rkwanala s were orclet caretakers, mainly for the royalty of Eng’s kingdom since most orcs prided themselves on having a hands-on approach to the care of our young.

Eng had meant the word as an insult, a slur on my maleness, but the slight missed the mark.

Even though it wasn’t typical for adult orcs to indulge in play with young, let alone young that weren’t their own, I refused to be shamed about my actions this weekend.

“There’s still time,” Eng continued. “No female will accept courtship from a Rkwanala , but you can live a happy life taking care of other orcs’ offspring.”

That stung. But before I could hit Eng so hard his nose flattened, Ugwyll spoke up.

“ Rkwanala to who?” the other orc snapped. “There are no orclets to care for in most of our clans. None. No wives. No orclets.”

Instantly the mood in the locker room shifted. The lack of orc offspring was a somber fact that no one wanted to think about.

“That’s what I want when I go home,” Bwat said as he looked over my shoulder at the paper.

“Dozens of happy, healthy, well-fed orclets playing in the center of our village. They won’t have to watch their mothers and sisters die.

They won’t have to see their fathers waste away with grief.

They won’t have to grow up and be adults before their tusks are more than nubs. ”

And now the mood was downright funereal. Our heads lowered. Ugwyll slumped down onto a bench. Eng turned away, leaning his forearm against a locker.

“I understand why Ozar was playing with the human young,” Bwat confessed.

“Every one of us would give a year of earnings for the chance to join a group of orclets on a play structure, even if those orclets weren’t our own.

Each moment witnessing the play of youth is precious.

We shouldn’t let the old rules govern us—not when we’ve lost so much. ”

“Everything we now do is for our clans’ future. For our hoped-for children.” Ugwyll’s voice was soft and husky.

“And for our hoped-for wives,” Bwat added .

“For the continuance of the royal line and the stability of my kingdom,” Eng said.

I bit back a growl. Eng still deserved a good nose-flattening.

All that orc cared about was his title and his inheritance.

I’m sure he’d barely even look at his wife other than to bed her, and he’d probably confine her to a remote estate once she was beyond breeding age.

His offspring would be raised by others and would most likely end up just like him. Selfish. Uncaring.

Instead of taking a swing at Eng, I stood and stretched. “Should we practice on the ice this afternoon? Or find heavy objects to toss back and forth?”

Bwat snorted. “Neither. I’m just here because the demon said we needed to be for a few hours of each day. As soon as the timekeeping device says I can leave, I’m going.”

Eng nodded. “Same. I might go to this place where Ozar found all the human children and see if any females would qualify to be my wife. They have proven their ability to breed, and I can promise them honor and wealth if they become my spouse.”

I growled, still thinking about punching Eng in the nose. “I plan on throwing some weights, then going for a run. Perhaps I might find a few suitable trees to climb as well.”

We all turned to Ugwyll.

“There are some booklets in the coach’s office with pictures of naked human females in suggestive poses,” he said. “I’ll look at those, then probably go to the McHenry for a beer.”

“Naked human females?” Eng grinned. “Can I see those booklets when you’re done? Just put them in my locker and I’ll grab them tomorrow.”

I scowled. “Those human females are wives or sisters or daughters. Leering at their naked bodies is disrespectful. ”

Ugwyll shrugged. “Perhaps their culture is different, and they are happy to be leered at.”

“I’m the prince of the kingdom. They should be honored I’m leering at their pictures,” Eng announced.

Bwat was furiously typing on his phone. “It seems that it is the profession of some human females to be seen naked and leered at. There are even sites where males pay money to look at videos and something called live-streams of human females who are naked and who occasionally perform sexual acts.”

I was torn, appalled at the disrespect males showed these human females, but intrigued at the possibility of learning what human females found sexually appealing.

“How do I access this site?” I asked, feeling as if I were betraying all my female ancestors.

“I’ll text it to you,” Bwat said.

“Text it to all of us,” Eng said. “That and these booklets Ugwyll found might help pass the time until I find a wife.”

There was a loud thunk noise from outside the locker room.

Escellates Johnson, the demon who owned the Tusks, burst through the door, waving a thick wad of papers in his hand.

My heart sank, knowing he’d probably seen the image of me playing with human children on the front page.

I was done taking shit for that. It was probably not a good idea to punch the boss, but I was in the mood to knock this demon right through the wall if he so much as said a word to me about it.

“Did you see this?”

He slapped me on the shoulder, then on the arm. I would have hit him back, but I was thrown off by the fact that he was smiling. That demon never smiled. Never.

“‘A Baltimore Tusks’ forward, Ozar, was seen this weekend at Patterson Park entertaining local children,’” he read.

I growled, ready to punch him. Hard.

“Marylynn Boyd of Druid Hill said this of Ozar: ‘He’s a great guy. Friendly and happy to talk to the fans. And he clearly loves kids as much as they love him.’ There’s a whole list of quotes in this article.” Escellates started waving the paper around again.

I lowered my fist slightly. “Yeah? Do you have a problem with that?”

The demon barked out a laugh. “Hell no! Ticket sales doubled in the last three hours. Merch is flying out the door. This is better than you clowns getting your asses whipped this weekend.”

Bwat’s fingers were flying once more over his phone screen, no doubt translating “asses whipped.” Growling silently, I vowed not to have our “asses whipped” ever again.

“From now on, you’re going to be the ‘kid’ orc.” The demon poked my chest with his index finger. “Playgrounds. Schools. Charity fundraisers. Make-A-Wish stuff. Anything to do with kids.”

I nodded, having no idea what he was talking about, but willing to spend time with human children—as long as it didn’t cut into my courtship of Jordan.

“You!” Escellates hopped over and slapped Eng on the back. “You’re in charge of old people.”

“W-what?”

I bit back a laugh at Eng’s shocked expression.

“Old. People,” the demon shouted as if Eng were deaf. “Nursing homes. I want you there every weekend we’re playing at home. Maybe even in the evenings during the week. There better be articles in the paper about you playing bingo with them and all that shit. Got it? ”

Eng’s eyes were wide as he looked at each of us. I shrugged.

“And you are going to be focusing on animal shelters.” The demon turned away from Eng to point at Bwat.

“Animals? Shelters?” The orc’s forehead creased, and he glanced down at his phone. “Am I building homes for these creatures? How big are they?”

“You don’t need to build homes for them. Take them for walks. Help the staff at the shelter. Make sure there are lots of pictures of you with the animals.”

Bwat stared at the demon. “What sort of animals are these?”

Escellates threw up his hands. “Hell if I know. Dogs and cats mostly, but I’m guessing they have other animals too. If it’s at the shelter, I want you looking like you love it.”

“I…I will do that,” Bwat stuttered.

Ugwyll snorted, as if he didn’t realize he was next.

“You!”

Ugwyll jumped as Escellates ran toward him.

“You are going to spend time with the homeless.”

“Building homes for homeless animals?” Ugwyll asked hopefully.

“Humans. And in addition to building homes, you’re going to work at the soup kitchen and at the shelter.”

Ugwyll looked over at Bwat, then at the demon. “The homeless humans are at the same shelter as the animals Bwat is taking care of?”

The demon chuckled. “No, although that would be an incredible savings. The homeless humans helping the homeless animals? For free? A huge reduction in labor costs. But sadly, that hasn’t happened, so you’re going to be at the human homeless shelter. And the soup kitchen. And the home building. ”

None of us really heard whatever the demon said next. We were all too shocked. Even after he left, still waving the papers around, we just stared silently at each other.

“What does this homeless animal care mean?” Bwat finally asked.

“Am I supposed to take the homeless humans for a walk as well?” Ugwyll asked.

“ Old humans? ” Eng curled his lip. “I am not going to spend any time with a bunch of smelly old humans.”

“This might be a good chance to meet and woo our brides,” Bwat said, cheerful as usual.

“So, you intend to marry a dog or a cat?” Eng scowled. “Ugwyll might find a suitable homeless female, especially since his standards are so low, but I doubt an elderly human female will be of breeding age. This is a waste of my time.”