Page 15 of Grumpy Pucking Orc (Orcs on Ice #1)

Ozar

A fter asking again for permission, Jordan once more inspected my mouth, poking and prodding at the various teeth and muttering under her breath.

“You have wonderful teeth and gums for someone who claims to have had minimal dental care,” she said with a voice that held more than a tinge of envy.

“I had to clear only the slightest bit of plaque, and there are no cavities. Your gumline is perfect, and your gums are so pink and healthy. Everything looks great outside of those few teeth you lost, but I’d still feel better taking some X-rays. ”

I nodded, agreeing with anything she wanted. I trusted this female. With my teeth. With all of my body. With my heart.

“Please talk to your teammates about regular dental care while they’re living here,” she continued.

“The plaque I scraped off looked fairly recent, which makes me believe that the food here isn’t as healthy for your teeth as the food back home.

I strongly recommend you orcs all visit a dentist every six months for a cleaning and a checkup, otherwise I fear your beautiful teeth won’t be so lovely the longer you remain here, eating human food. ”

My eyes widened at that, and I made a mental note to warn my teammates.

“I’ll send you home with a toothbrush as well as some samples of toothpaste and dental floss. It’ll be very important to use those while you’re living here to maintain your teeth. If you have any questions on how to use any of the products, please contact us.”

Her whole spiel felt like…well, a spiel. Once again, my stomach contracted with worry and doubt. Was she hovering on the edge of a decision? Was she going to write me off as just a patient or accept me as a candidate for her heart?

“I need to see a couple of other patients. Is it okay if Makena or Mike comes in for your imaging?”

At my perplexed expression, she went on to explain the procedure. As much as I wanted her to stay, I realized that she’d already taken valuable time from her job to personally provide for my care. To insist she ignore her other clients and remain with me would be wrong.

It was clear this was her job. Her place of business.

She had not invited me to her home to woo her, and while other orcs might be discouraged by the professional setting, I wasn’t.

I knew what it was like to kiss this female.

Her interest in me was beyond the professional care of my teeth.

So I’d agree to whatever she wanted and then convince her to see me again in a more romantic setting.

“Are you fine with one of my staff helping?” she asked again. “I promise they are professional and follow the procedures I’ve established.”

“Your employees can do my imaging,” I told her, even though I wasn’t sure what the word “imaging” meant. “I will try not to growl at them.”

She chuckled. “Maybe I’ll send Mike then, just in case you growl a little.”

I grabbed her hand as she turned to leave. “But you’ll be back? I’ll see you again before I go?”

Her eyes met mine, and I saw the indecision in them.

“Tusks are important to orcs. I trust you with mine, and I do not trust others.” I was absolutely playing dirty here, but it was kind of true. I did trust her. I didn’t trust many—humans or orcs. And I wasn’t above a little manipulation to ensure I had a chance to woo her some more before I left.

“Yes. Absolutely.” She turned her hand to grip mine and smiled. “I’ll be back. Don’t worry.”

I trusted her, so I didn’t worry. Instead, I settled back in the comfy chair, eyeing the metal sticks. This Mike human could take images of my mouth and teeth, but if he so much as picked up one of those things, I was getting out my knife.

Ten minutes went by. I was so bored that I got up to retrieve one of the magazines on a nearby table and sat back down.

I’d just gotten to the article about a female named Taylor Swift and her secret vacation getaway when a human male entered the room.

Even if I couldn’t have smelled his sweaty fearful aroma, I would have known how terrified he was.

His eyes wouldn’t look anywhere near my face.

His hands shook. His voice was pitched high and wavered.

And he swallowed every few seconds, his Adam’s apple bobbing each time.

I might be a grumpy orc, but I felt sorry for this guy, so I kept my grunts and grumbles to myself and tried to be friendly.

Unfortunately, my toothy grin seemed to make the male even more nervous.

That meant it took him forever to place the pieces of cardboard in my mouth in the correct way to get the needed images.

I’d seen Bwat take pictures with the phone device we’d used to learn English, but he’d never had to drape a heavy bib over someone’s body or exit the room before he did so.

I was beginning to think that this imaging process involved a possible long-term health risk and was annoyed at the number of re-takes Mike had to do because his hands shook too much to do his damned job.

It made me growl.

Which evidently made Mike realize that all the images he’d taken were sufficient.

I went back to my magazine.

“Ryan Reynolds had a wardrobe malfunction at Petunia’s Hot Dog Shoppe last week,” I read out loud as Jordan came back into the room.

She jerked to a halt, then grabbed the magazine to look at the article and pictures. “Wow. Just…wow.”

“Human pants are not very durable,” I commented.

“Holy…” She turned the magazine sideways. “They didn’t even black that out. I’m impressed. Super impressed.”

Mine is bigger. I clamped my mouth shut before the words left it.

“As interesting as this is, let’s look at these images of your teeth.” Her smile creased her cheeks as she put the magazine aside and started typing on a keyboard positioned on the narrow table along the wall beside me. In seconds, images sprang to life on the huge monitor—images of teeth.

I looked at the pictures with interest. We had nothing like this at home.

Not only were my teeth shown in stark white against the black background, but I could also see the roots buried under my gumline and the solid structure of my jaw.

My tusks looked huge, and in these pictures seemed to be fused deep into the bone of my lower jaw.

“I can’t believe there aren’t any broken pieces of tooth left behind,” Jordan marveled, pointing at one of the images Mike had taken of my mouth.

“There’s no need for bone grafting or any work on your jaw.

The only thing I’m concerned about is placing the implant.

I need to make sure our equipment is sufficient to drill into orc bone, and that we have the correct anesthesia and numbing medicines. ”

She went on about abutments and how she wanted to ensure the replacement teeth were of equal strength to my originals.

I didn’t understand half of what she was saying, but her voice wove its golden chains around my heart, and I loved that she was so passionate about something—even if it was something as strangely mundane as teeth.

Jordan stepped out again to see another patient, but she came back, and she continued to do everything herself, including polishing my teeth and tusks with a substance that tasted both gritty and minty.

I’d never had my tusks polished before and was breathless from the intimacy of the act as well as Jordan’s body so close to mine.

She smelled like flowers and coconut, and I found myself fantasizing about her pushing the tray aside, straddling my body, shedding that white jacket, then slowly unbuttoning her shirt.

But that wasn’t going to happen. I was here as a patient, and any opportunity to get her undressed and bring her pleasure would need to occur elsewhere, at a later time and day.

I’d been relieved to realize that the other males in the front room weren’t suitors, but that meant I wasn’t here as a suitor, either.

And an invitation to meet her at such an early hour clearly didn’t mean the same thing to humans as it did to orcs.

For a second, I’d been worried that I’d misread her intentions.

Then I’d remembered last night in the street, and our kiss.

I’d felt a spark between us that had been a second from turning into a bonfire.

All too quickly she was done, putting away the metal sticks and moving the tray so I could stand.

“Leave your number with Ava up front, and I’ll call you when I have everything I need for the implant procedure,” she told me.

“It’ll probably be three or four weeks since I’ll have to get them from a different manufacturer than I usually use.

I’ll let you know if it’ll be more than a month, though. ”

No! I couldn’t let her slip away like this. I couldn’t let this just be about my teeth and nothing else. I couldn’t wait three weeks or more before I saw her again.

“This is for you.” Desperate, I pulled the Starbucks gift card out of my pocket and handed it to her, thankful that I’d grabbed one when buying my coffee. “And…and…I would like to cook dinner for you. Tomorrow night. At my house.”

It was probably way too soon for me to offer her a meal, but I didn’t have time to figure out the glacial pace and weird rituals of human wooing, so I was going with what I would have done had she been an orc female.

Jordan seemed perplexed as she took the gift card, but her gaze shot up to meet mine at the dinner offer. “Tomorrow night?”

“Yes. Or the next night—whenever you are free.” Suddenly, it was very hard to breathe.

If she said no… I pushed the panicked thought away.

If she said no, I’d just have to go buy her a steak or kill a few squirrels in the park and leave them at her house as a gift.

I didn’t know where she lived, but if I followed her this evening, I could easily find out.

If I could track a Mennt across the plains, I co uld easily follow a human female home without being noticed.

“You want to cook me a traditional orc meal? At your house?” she asked.

I nodded, hoping I could find reasonable substitutions for the scant orc meals I knew how to make. “We can order pizza delivery if you don’t like it.”

She laughed, and my heart felt lighter at the sound. “Then it’s a date. Tomorrow night at your house. What can I bring? Wine? Bread from the bakery? A dessert?”

“Just you,” I told her.

She dimpled again. “That’s not fair. You’re cooking a whole meal for me. The least I can do is bring wine. Red or white?”

I stared at her, concerned that I would answer wrong. Was there a difference? I’d never drunk wine before, being a beer kind of orc myself.

“How about one of each?” she suggested. “That way you can keep what you’re cooking a surprise.”

“Okay.” And now I could breathe again. She’d accepted my offer to cook for her, at my home. Tomorrow night. And she’d said it was a “date,” which, according to Bwat, was what humans called their wooing activities.

I wasn’t just another mouth of teeth in her job. I was a date. And I was cooking her dinner.