Page 2 of Gin & Sin (Last Call #2)

TWO

STEWART

I swear my feet are frozen in place.

What was I even thinking coming here? I know I need to step out of my comfort zone, but straight into a gay bar might be too much. With my hands in my jacket pockets, I glance around the full parking lot. The sidewalk out front has several groups of people walking towards the bar too. I’ve heard nonstop chatter from the students about how amazing it is, but what triggered my curiosity was hearing the same from my much older peers.

Besides, I don’t have to do anything. I can just go inside and have a drink. It’s a smart first step into my new single life. I never thought I’d be divorced and ready to finally accept my attraction to men, but life is a constant surprise. The chance of bumping into a student I know is high, but I remind myself that I have just as much right to be here as they do. It’s not like I’ll be dancing on the tables.

With one last deep breath and my mental pep talk doing its job, I open the door and walk into Moby’s.

It only takes one step inside for my anxiety to kick in. I back up, but I’m blocked by more people entering. I’ll take it as a sign and force myself to move. My sweater feels too warm suddenly, and as I tug on the collar, I mentally kick myself for choosing it instead of a t-shirt.

Somehow, I get my feet to move me in the direction of the bar. A drink should help me relax and give me something to do besides staring like a deer in headlights. The bar is nicer than I imagined, with clean floors and good lighting, and it even smells nice, like leather and wood and…men.

My stomach does a little twist as I find a spot behind a group of three guys near the bar to wait my turn. There are men here. Queer men. Men who might be interested in me.

I cross my arms over my chest, then drop them so I seem open, busying myself by looking around. Every table is full, but what stands out is that it’s not all college students. There are some older men and women in the place too. That’s positive.

To my left are three guys wearing black t-shirts with a white whale on the front. The image brings a smile to my face. Moby Dick. I get it now. One of the guys has shockingly blue hair that’s long down the middle but shaved on the sides. I can’t see his face because of how he’s standing, but the other two guys are facing me. One is tall, with an athletic build and a sweet face, while the other looks more like a model with dark, stylish hair and sharp features. Both look older than your average college student.

Another man joins them, and my thoughts stutter as he glances up and meets my gaze. Holy Hemingway. He’s… gorgeous. He’s tall and built, but it’s his kind eyes, jovial smile, and thick beard that have my mouth watering. When he pushes past his friends and heads intently in my direction, my nerves kick up, but I force myself to stay put and not tear off running.

“Hey,” he says when he reaches me. His voice is deep and confident, as he should be with a face like that.

“Hello.”

“I’m Kit. One of the owners.” He extends his hand and I shake it. “First time here?”

I laugh nervously. “I guess it shows.”

“Nah. I’m just aware of the usual faces around here, and yours is new. What’s your name?”

“Stewart. I work at the university.”

Kit nods as his eyes roam across my face. “Doing what?”

“Teaching.”

“You’re a professor. What subject?”

“LGBTQ Studies. Gender and sexuality.”

Kit twists his lips. “Fascinating.”

Even as my knees tremble, I summon the courage to keep talking to the gorgeous man. “I was asked by the university if I would take it on a few years ago. It’s grown in popularity, and with my background in sociology it made sense for me to teach it. At the time I considered myself an ally and I was happy to teach the topic.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I figured out that the way I’ve felt about men most of my life is not heterosexual in nature.”

A slight smile tugs at his lips. “Yeah?”

“But the discovery came at a bad time. I was married.”

“Was?”

I nod. “I’m divorced now. Not because of that.” I tilt my head, recalling the therapist’s thoughts on the topic. “Well, maybe. I didn’t cheat, but… I’m sure you don’t want to know all of this.”

“You’re wrong. I do.”

I search his eyes for a moment. They’re so warm and kind, the words keep flowing. “We weren’t happy for a long time. We got married too young and grew in different directions. She wanted to take a job that paid a lot more than mine, but it would move us across the country. I just made tenure two years ago. I like it here.” I shrug. “I guess small towns suit me.”

“So you live locally then?”

“I do. You?”

“Yep. What brings you in tonight?”

Here it is. Right on a silver platter for me to take. I had no hopes of finding a man as hot as Kit, but if this is my one shot, I need to take it.

“Honestly?”

Kit nods, leaning just a little closer to me.

“I’ve, um, never actually…” I’m not sure I’m brave enough to say it out loud now that I have the opportunity.

“You’ve never been with a guy?” he guesses.

“Right.” I blow out a nervous breath. “But, um, I want to.”

“You’re just looking for a hookup?”

My body heats at the idea of him putting his hands on me. “Yes?”

Kit grins. “You don’t sound sure.”

“I’m sure. I’ve thought about it a lot. I considered going into the city so it would be more anonymous, I guess, but the idea practically gives me hives. I’m not a guy who goes out a lot. I came here hoping…” Shrugging, I continue, “I thought it might be easier to hook up first before jumping into the dating scene full on. You know what I mean?”

“I think so. You’re not sure you’re into sex with men?”

My breath catches as my cock twitches in my pants. “It’s not that. I’m sure. I wanted to, uh, get some experience. I figured it would help my confidence.”

Kit studies my face, even as he’s jostled by passing customers.

“Is that insane?”

“Not at all,” he says. “Pretty smart.” He closes in on me, draping his arms over my shoulders. His warm, slightly sweet breath fans across my face, and my insides quake from the attraction I feel. “What did you have in mind, Professor?”

Is he offering? Oh god. This is it. This is my chance.

“Uh, you know, whatever.”

“I can handle whatever. Want to get out of here?”

“My place?”

“Lead the way.”

Fuck me sideways. I can’t believe the hottest guy I’ve ever seen is interested in me. Well, for sex, at least, which is all I want. After we exit the bar together, Kit walks with me to my car.

“I walked here,” he says. “I just live around the corner. Mind if I ride with you? I can get my own ride back.”

“No, that’s fine.”

I unlock my car and Kit slides into the passenger seat. I join him on the other side, hoping my shaking hands aren’t obvious as I push the button to start the engine. When Kit puts his hand on my thigh, I realize I’m not hiding my nerves at all.

“We’ll take it at your speed. Whatever you want to do or not do is fine. I just want to make you come.”

I blow out a breath and chuckle. “That sounds amazing. I want to make you come too.”

He smiles, gently pinching my chin. “Then we’re gonna have a good time. Don’t be nervous. Just follow your instincts.”

“Forty-eight years old and I feel like a virgin on prom night.”

Kit’s eyes soften. “I promise to make your first time memorable.”

“Okay. Great. I mean, thanks. Uh…”

Kit leans across the seats and presses a brief kiss to my lips, instantly settling my racing mind. “I’m very much looking forward to this.”

“Me too.”

I’m doing this. It’s been a long time coming, but I’m finally getting my hands on a real live man. Not bad for a quasi-virgin.