Page 68 of Fun and Games
I could do this. Whatever was inside, I could handle it.
"You okay?" Mason asked, sounding concerned.
Oddly enough, I was glad he was here. Whatever was in there, whatever emotions it brought out in me, Mason would be here to help me through it.
"I got a package from… back home," I said, keeping things vague. "I don't know what's inside."
Mason nodded in understanding, a sympathetic look on his face. He knew I had issues with my family, knew about the trauma from my past. He didn't need to know what was in it to know it might have the power to hurt me.
"Are you going to open it now, or wait?" he asked.
"I need to know what's inside."
I put the box down on the kitchen table and went hunting for a pair of scissors to cut through the layers of tape. Darlene had done a good job with the wrapping.
Mason stayed a few feet away to give me privacy. He cooed soft words to Lucky who was still tucked against his chest.
I opened the package.
On the very top was a pink sweatshirt. One of mine that David must have had stashed somewhere. I pet the soft cotton as my chest began to throb. I remembered buying it. David had teased me about buying a matching one in a man's size.
I took the sweater out and laid it on the table to reveal more contents. A copy of an old travel guidebook that had been thoroughly thumbed through, with notes all along the margins. Despite the ache in my heart, I couldn't help but smile. I was always appalled at how David used pens to write in books. It was blasphemy to deface a book like that, I always told him, but he never listened.
Next to the book was a small bundle of movie tickets. They were years and years old. We had begun to collect them when we started dating, but we went to so many movies we eventually stopped. I would always pretend I was going to start singing along to the musicals. He would poke me in the stomach and tell me to quit it.
My aching chest hurt at all these memories, yes, but it wasn't overpowering. I was able to keep it together. I could remember the good times. I wasn't falling apart.
Until I reached the bottom of the package and found a small box. I reached in and took it out. I held it in my shaky palm and examined it as dread crawled all over my skin.
I opened the box.
Inside lay two rings, simple silver bands nestled in velvet, one larger than the other. I knew one was a size five and a half. My size. The other was a man's size, thick and sturdy.
A tiny piece of paper was tucked beside them, folded in a familiar style. I pulled it out. There was a single line written on it.
Bucket list #101: Vowing to love, honor and cherish you until my very last breath.
The crack in my heart splintered wide open. My whole body shuddered as the blood in my veins turned to ice. My throat closed shut. I tried to take a choked breath. I couldn't get air into my lungs.
"Bree?" Mason asked, sounding concerned. "Are you okay?"
"I'm—" It was barely a croak, my mouth desert dry. I nearly doubled over, clutching the sides of the kitchen table to keep from falling down. "I'm—"
"What's wrong?" Mason asked, on the verge of anxious.
"I'm sorry, I need to—" My mouth opened and closed, unable to find words.
Mason came over and put a hand on my arm from behind. I kept my head bowed and my eyes on the table.
"I don't feel well." The flat, dead intonation of my voice was at odds with the tears gathering in my eyes. "Can you go?"
"Was it something in the package?" he asked. "Do you want to talk about it—?"
"Just go," I bit out between gritted teeth. "I can't— You need to go."
"I don't want to leave you alone like this," he said.
"And I don't want you here right now!" I yelled.
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