Page 84 of Free to Judge

“It’s not forever.”

“Go.”

“Kalie, I have a meeting?—”

“Just. Go.”

I can’t deny the pain I see in her eyes. Not when I know I’m the cause. Not when realizing I’m in love with her gave me the push to end this once and for all. But if I’m going to protect her, truly protect her, this is the only way. I retreat, knowing anything I say now will make things worse.

But I hate that this feels so much like goodbye.

By the time I get out to my car, there’s already a call from Jon. I answer with a gruff, “Yeah?”

“I’ve been monitoring your burner cells. You received three calls from Sal. He’s freaking out.”

I start the engine. “About what?”

“You name it. Does the man have a sixth sense?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Because our bug picked up on him freaking out about the Byrnes having someone working with the Feds. Now he’s getting antsy. He’s contacting everyone he knows in the pipeline. Guess whose name is at the top of their target list?”

“Fuck.” I cast a backward glance toward Kalie’s home and then gun my car down the street. “How long do I have?”

“Why?”

“I need to go home—shower, change.”

“You didn’t go home last night.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“No.” I say no more, but I don’t have to. He knows where I was yesterday, and he knows who I left with.

“Now you’re leaving her unprotected?”

“Agents are there.”

“Agents aren’t you!” he shouts.

There’s an imposing silence on the other end of the line before his voice comes out harsher than I’ve ever heard it. “Do not put my cousin in danger for a vendetta you can’t let go of.”

His words cut deeper than he’ll ever know.

I pray to God Jon will never understand the conflicting need to make sure Kalie’s safe before wrapping up my past so I can become the man she needs. Once I do, I can let this go. I’ll never have to go down this dark path ever again.

But we agree on one thing. Kalie’s in more danger the longer we all take part in this clusterfuck. The longer I’m out of touch, the riskier it is for everyone.

I have to shut the pipeline down.

Now.

Ignoring his bitching, I disconnect the call. Less than half an hour later, I’m at my apartment. Shoving my keys into the lock, I curse when they scrape the door instead.

I hadn’t realized how badly my hands were shaking.

I can’t let it all fall apart when I’m this close. If it does, she’ll be in danger regardless of what everyone wants to believe.

Inside, I shower quickly—even as water splashes off my body, I can still feel the touch of Kalie’s skin against mine. I can hear her voice in my head, a haunting reminder of the night before.