Page 74 of Free to Judge

I think I fall a little more when the light of battle illuminates her gorgeous blue eyes. She tugs me closer against her before declaring, “Then you’re better here with people who believe in you and in what you’re doing.”

Her words strike something deep inside of me. She’s right and suddenly everything before her feels like a different life that belonged to a different man. “You’re right.”

Kalie’s hand smooths up my chest. “That’s a very good line, Counselor.”

“You’re right? That’s the line you’re talking about?”

“Most women would agree with me.”

I throw my head back and laugh. “It’s not a line if it’s true.”

“Use it a lot. It’s a turn on.” Kalie rises on the ball of her feet and kisses me—soft, slow, unhurried.

For that moment, in her office full of pizza and wine, everything else falls away as I deepen the kiss. No threats are being made against this incredible woman. No mobsters, no shadows, no revenge.

It’s just us—two people who once saw each other in the crowd at Harvard Law graduation. Now, we’re clinging to something much more important than our once treasured degrees.

Each other.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

One night,when we’re cuddling, I push Declan to tell me more about Tanya. He stiffens. “Why?”

“She was important to you—important enough to put your whole life on hold.” I lay my head against his shoulder. “Have you talked to anyone about her and what she meant to you?”

He shakes his head.

“Not even my father? My uncle?”

He hesitates. “Jon and Liam…a bit. Your father and uncle were more interested in the logistics of what we found out about the Byrnes, your grandfather, and the Tiberi connection.” He releases a harsh breath. “To be honest, what I said to you that day was probably the most I’ve said about her since I walked out of my former director’s office to go undercover.”

I twist so I can lay my head against his shoulder. “I’ll listen.”

The late spring night shimmers through the patio doors lit up by the string of lights Grace had insisted on installing around our pool. The surrounding property is quiet—at least as quiet as it can be with the insects happily frolicking about.

In other words, it’s just the two of us and the kind of night where emotions have the space to fill it without regret.

He just stares out at the night, lost in memories he hasn’t let go of but has no place to rest them. “Pain’s a heavy weight to bear alone.”

He turns his head and places his lips on my forehead. For a long while, that’s all he does. I’m not certain if he’s gathering strength to speak or just absorbing mine until finally he says, “Tanya was by my side for years. She was the one person who relied on me.” He pauses and takes a long sip from the water I placed by his side earlier.

I didn’t dare speak. I wouldn’t interrupt now that he was opening up. I just let him relieve himself of some of this pain.

“I told you about her kids,” he continues, his voice lower now. “Little boys. They were four and six when she died. Great kids—Bryan and Emmitt. They used to call me Uncle Dec. I rememberevery one of their birthday parties. I held them both the day they were born. Tanya’s husband, Ben, is a doctor. He is a good guy. Incredible father. Better husband.

“For a while, they considered me family. Tanya insisted if we weren’t working, I was to come for Sunday dinner. She had no problem picking up the phone and telling me to come get one of her boys because she needed to run an errand. It was the kind of friendship where I’d crash on their couch after a Sox game and drank a few too many beers.

“Then they assigned her to a case here. Demanded I was her handler. That way I could not only look out for her but for ‘her guys’ too. It was supposed to be just a few weeks. Then those few weeks extended to a few months.”

“What did her husband think about that?”

“It was hell, but not just for him. Her kids were so young they didn’t understand why Mommy wasn’t coming home, but Uncle Dec was there. Every night, same kind of hell—‘Mommy home?’ Emmitt would ask. When I’d say no, he’d shove his thumb back in his mouth. Every time, Bryan would get more angry. And Ben? He was just lost without her.”

I am barely breathing. I just study the way his eyes glass over as the memories come rushing back.

For long moments, silence permeates the air between us. Then he shocks me when he tells me about the investigation and how people tried to tie him to it. How Ben pushed him away. “He wouldn’t let me go to the funeral,” he manages.

“That’s cruel.”