Page 55 of Free to Judge

I can tell I’ve caught him on the raw. Giving him a break, I ask, “Now, do you want to tell me what really happened today?”

When he does, I feel something shift inside me—a quiet victory. It settles deep in my chest, something I don’t have a name for yet. But if it offers this complex man a reprieve against the relentless fight he’s up against, I’m happy to offer it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Isit odd how I can accept Declan under the justification of love, yet my father’s overbearing nature still requires forgiveness? Perhaps it’s because I have no expectations of Declan? Maybe it’s because Dad’s always been a hero in my eyes? Maybe it’s because I’ve never been directly caught in the crossfire of one of his machinations?

Regardless of the why, I need to meet with him before I return to the office. He needs to understand where my disappointment and anger are coming from. I texted him directly.

Kalie:

I’d like to meet with you to talk.

Dad:

Name the place, baby.

Kalie:

Daniela Trattoria.

Dad:

I’ll make reservations.

I drive into the city and park in the Hudson Investigation parking lot at their Rockefeller Center office, then walk over to the restaurant on 8thAvenue. Immediately after stepping inside, I am greeted with the clink of silverware and the low hum of conversation that filled the tiny Italian bistro. Without bothering to stop at the hostess station, I head toward the back stairs.

Intuitively, I know where my father reserved a table for us.

Every memorable event we’ve shared as a family has been experienced here. Dating back to my uncle’s engagement, my mother’s law school graduation, my parent’s mutual proposal and subsequent marriage. Now, we come to the restaurant much more frequently as our family expands. When my honorary uncle, country musician Brendan Blake, had his last concert at Madison Square Garden, we rented out the entire restaurant. When our close family friend Kee Long hit number one onThe New York Timesbest-seller list, we celebrated here. Engagements, birthdays—I can’t remember not doing so here.

But this is the first time I recall coming here full of uncertainty.

It makes me hesitant to climb the last bend in the stairs to face my father. But when I reach the top, I realize I should have known better. The tables have been pushed aside, and there’s a table for two—just like the way he had it set up when he told me Mama was pregnant with my twin sisters.

He stands the moment he sees me. With the smile he reserves just for family, he leans down to kiss my cheek. “You look tired. Still recovering?”

I pull back and let him seat me before I reply. “I wasn’t sick.”

“That’s what you told your mother.”

“It was better than me telling her the truth at that point.” I flick my napkin open before laying it in my lap. When the waiter appears, I request, “Just a club soda today. I’m driving.”

He doesn’t ask why I stayed away. Instead, he lifts his coffee to his lips and takes a drink. “You’re angry with me.”

“Of course I am.” I pause once my drink is delivered. I hold my tongue while we’re asked what we want for our meal. After placing my order, my father orders for himself and we’re again given the solitude for our conversation. “Dad, you’ve been hiding things. Important things. Not just from me, but Mama. The whole family.”

He levels his gaze on me. “I have.”

“Why?”

“That’s a much more difficult question to answer, Kalie.” He sighs but doesn’t try to get out of it. “There are things I need to do, protect you from, not just in the line of work we dobut because of our family’s past. Things that could bring about unnecessary harm. I’ve always done things with everyone’s best interest at heart, sweetheart.”

“Have you?” I retort. “Because I don’t see how keeping the fact you have Declan working for you is protecting us.”

His eyes soften on me but don’t lose their edge. “If I had my way, you’d never have found out, Kalie.”

“This is exactly what I mean, Dad!”