Page 2 of Flock Around and Find Out (Flocking It Up #3)

The oasis was impressive, really. We lived in the desert, which meant there wasn’t much greenery anywhere—save for the massive golf courses that spanned far too many square miles. They served for all the green space we usually got, except for these rare patches that almost didn’t make sense.

Why on earth was there an oasis here? The sign had said Big Morongo Canyon and the number of trees had impressed me, especially since more of them sat beyond the parking lot, beyond the small strip where I’d parked my car.

The high desert sat only a fifteen-minute drive away, including a road that wound through the mountains, but I rarely made the trip without reason. It always felt farther away.

If they had shaded pockets of trees like this, however, it might be worth hitting up more often.

I walked along the path—a white walkway with nice slats that lifted me up about a foot from the ground level and was probably done that way to allow animals to scurry beneath.

It didn’t shock me that Porter would meet me here. It felt like a very him place to be, after all. In fact, seeing him in town, around others, would have felt like the strange thing.

I took the turns he’d told me to, following the path he’d explained. A right at the first turn, then follow that until just past a rusted car. It almost felt like someone pranking me as I walked through the space and headed off in search of him.

Sure enough, however, I spotted a familiar figure sitting on a bench on the side of the path, right where Porter had said he would be.

“Figured I’d find you somewhere off the path,” I said, far more out of breath than I should have been.

“I don’t like to disrupt things more than I have to.”

“Aren’t you a Nature, though? How is it disrupting?”

He patted the spot beside him and I took a seat. “Even things part of nature can leave too great an impact on the surrounding areas. This is one of my favorite spots locally, and I would hate to be the cause of issues here.” He paused, then added softly, “Plus, the caretakers of this preserve watch like hawks and I don’t want to piss them off.”

I peered up slightly. “Is that why the no horns thing?”

“I can’t have them out when I’m around humans, so I usually hide them unless on my own land or very far out.”

The conversation drifted away for a moment, and I found myself loath to break the easy silence. The sounds of water running somewhere near, the buzzing of some flying insect, the occasional croak of a frog, it was all a rather nice way to spend an afternoon.

In fact, I wondered why I hadn’t done this before, why I hadn’t given myself the time to relax, to take a break more often, especially out here. Sure, there was a slight scent of rot—it happened when water sat still for a while, and given the lack of rain around here, it tended to do that—but it was still one of the better afternoons I’d had.

What does that say about me and my life?

“You’ve spoken to the Weres?” Porter asked.

And just like that, I knew my afternoon wasn’t going to remain this pleasant. “Sort of.”

“Then you know what’s happening.”

“Just because I heard something doesn’t mean I know what’s going on. There are more strays, right?”

Porter stared out at the tree line rather than at me, and I wondered what he saw. Was his vision better? Did his honed senses somehow draw his gaze to things that I missed? Was he looking at lots of little creatures out there? I wasn’t sure, but I was rather curious about it all.

“Yes. However, the thing that the other clans seem to miss is that we are all connected in a way we don’t fully understand. What befalls one spills onto the others. The Weres are suffering, but it is not confined just to the Weres.”

“You’ve lost me.”

His lips curled at the side into a slight, indulgent smile. “I’ve detected Were energy in a few animals.”

That got my attention.

The energy in each of the clans should never cross to another clan or to animals, and it never remained in small amounts like that. If it infected a person, it took over.

“So there are Were animals?”

“No. They weren’t changed, but that energy infected them like an illness. I have not yet found it in a Nature, but this is a situation that has never occurred before. There is no way it isn’t connected, that it doesn’t have something to do with the Were problem.”

“So why haven’t you told Galen?”

The expression on Porter’s face implied he really would rather not do that. Or that he’d prefer to go have dental work for fun rather than talk to Galen.

Which I could understand if we were talking about Kelvin or Ruben, but Galen was almost the life of the party compared to the others. Or, rather, he was the least likely to try to kill someone.

I’d take my few wins where I could, honestly.

“Galen’s looking into the Were problem. You need to ask him—he might know something.”

“Have you learned nothing from your time on the council? We do not work well together. It simply isn’t something that we are intended to do. We naturally repel one another, something that spawns from our very spirit energy. We can’t help it, and nothing will change it.”

I kicked my feet out, sighing at the speed with which they decided to give up. Weren’t these supposed to be men who ruled the entire spiritual world, at least in this area? Why would they act so afraid of just a little meeting?

Babies.

“Well, I work with you all just fine and I’m a Spirit,” I reminded him, as though he might have forgotten the fact.

“You are, but you are a type that we have never encountered before. You don’t seem to follow the same rules as the rest of us.”

“That sounds like a bullshit excuse,” I snapped. “That’s like when people tell artists that they’re so talented but totally ignore all the work it took for them to get like that. I work with you all because I have to, because I’ve always had to. I never had the luxury of just sitting back and saying, ‘it’s too hard.’” My cheeks warmed at my little tirade.

It was the truth, though. They’d all come into this world with battle lines drawn, with allies and enemies.

Me?

I’d had nothing. I’d had to carve my own way, to figure out how to survive in a world where nothing was on my side.

So, I wasn’t about to listen to Porter as he bitched and moaned about just how sad it was that he had to be here, all by himself, that working with Galen was just too much of a challenge.

Suck it up, cupcake.

“Very well,” he said after a moment, giving in much faster than I would have thought. I would have complained for longer before I ever actually listened to good advice—maybe he wasn’t as stubborn as I was. “Will you set up a meeting for us?”

“Me? I figured you’d go to Ruben for that.”

“I prefer to stay as far away from Justices as possible.” He shuddered. “They have an unnatural energy that I don’t like to come into contact with. Besides, if we go through Ruben, it all becomes official information, and I suspect Galen is attempting to solve this issue on his own, without council intervention. He would likely appreciate if we spoke on our own.”

* * * *

The idea was good, or so I thought until that night, when I sat down at my worn kitchen table, in my little house, with two of the most powerful Spirits drinking coffee out of my coffee cups—the ones with naked men on them.

Yeah…this wasn’t how I’d thought my night would go.

The men hadn’t spoken since they’d arrived. They’d both walked in without appearing nervous, but had clearly been on guard.

They weren’t really supposed to be in the Null space, where my house was, but that didn’t seem to matter if I invited them. So long as they didn’t fight, it was seen as a necessary breach.

Which reminded me again how little the rules seemed to actually matter. I got nailed every time I even bent one, but others got to break them all they wanted and get away with it due to some loophole no one told me about.

Next time Ruben got on my case about a rule, I was going to try the same tactic to get out of trouble.

Still, the fact no one spoke made the tension thick and uncomfortable. It felt like when my parents had come over to my little one-room studio when I’d first moved out, when they’d hated it but didn’t want to admit such a thing. We’d sat there with this exact silence, full of all the things they wanted to say but didn’t dare.

I knew that silence, especially because I never kept what I shouldn’t say to myself. I always blurted it out carelessly. It went to show that I wasn’t a great example of keeping quiet, of being good, of understanding tact.

However, since that silence had never been one I liked, I broke it first. “I know my coffee is good, but could we get to the point? I want to get to sleep at some point.”

Galen offered me a glare, like I’d broken some unspoken rule I didn’t know about. Maybe he was trying to intimidate Porter with the silence? One look at Porter said it wouldn’t work.

Still, after a moment, he sighed and set his cup down. “You asked for this meeting,” Galen said.

Porter set his down as well, as though that somehow signaled something between the two of them. Maybe this was the language of men?

Fuck knew I didn’t understand it.

“I’ve detected Were energy in a number of animals in the wilds.”

The widening of Galen’s eyes, just for a moment before he hid it, went to show he hadn’t known and that he didn’t like the news. He wiped the look away, again telling me this wouldn’t be an easy conversation.

Both sides had questions and information—information that could help the other side and questions the other side could answer—but neither wanted to come out and say any of it. They didn’t want to give away their advantage, to offer anything to an enemy that might use it against them.

This was why wars broke out, because people valued their stubbornness and presumed strength over the need to work shit out.

“Are you sure?” Galen asked.

“Completely. Do you have any idea how this could have happened?”

“Are Weres trying to make animals into Weres?” I asked, thinking I’d come up with a brilliant idea. Maybe Weres were trying to turn animals to make them into weird little Were pets?

Or so I thought, until the expression of both men said it was one of the dumbest things they’d heard.

Neither addressed me, as though I hadn’t spoken at all, like that protected my ego.

It was a good guess.

“Could this be connected with the increased number of strays?” Porter asked.

Galen shot me a dirty look, as though I’d been at fault for blabbing. I had, but it was rude to assume. He turned his gaze back to Porter. “I don’t see how it could.”

“Why are there more strays? They’re usually rare, are they not?”

Galen didn’t shift in his seat, probably to avoid giving away his discomfort, but I knew him well enough to read him easily. He hated this conversation. “Strays have always been uncommon. Normally, new Weres are located easily by sense, and they are drawn to other Weres. Strays, however, don’t have that draw. They lack the ability to control their beast, and because of that, they can’t join a pack. Without any of that, they end up dangerous and typically must be put down.”

“So are there more Weres being changed or are more of them changing into strays?” I asked.

Galen tapped his finger against the side of his cup. “Both, I think. In addition to the strays, some of our older Weres seem to be losing themselves and going feral. They’re struggling with control. Because of that, those afflicted have started to change others more often than is typical. I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I’ve found no evidence of drugs, of spells, of mind control. Some Weres simply seem to be losing their sense of control.” Galen finished the words with a huff, a sure, rare sign of his frustration with his lack of progress.

Then again, he’d always been a type-A, take control sort of person. He was the kind who wanted to fix shit immediately. He didn’t want to risk not knowing an answer, to let it stagnate.

So I had no doubt he’d already done all he could to figure out what was going on and had hit nothing but walls.

Which wasn’t a good sign. If Galen couldn’t discover the problem with his own wolves, what chance did we all have?

“Is there anything that links the Weres who this happened to? Is it just wolves?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No. It’s all types of Weres. I haven’t seen a connection between any of them yet. They’re happening in equal numbers regardless of type, age, or anything else. The only difference is that it is a far higher number of brand new Weres. There have not been any changed Weres in the past three months who have changed normally. Every one of them have become strays.”

I rested my chin on my palm, thinking about that, about what it could mean. Why would it be all of the new wolves? Was there a reason? “Are they all violent?”

He hesitated at that question. “They’re all driven by their beasts, unable to control them.” At my look of confusion, he went on. “Our beasts are animalistic. Violence is a human concept, something that comes from the choice to harm others without a reason. Animals react based on situation. So have people gotten hurt? Yes, they have, but not because the strays are targeting anyone, not because the strays are evil or plotting. They revert to their animalistic urges and drives. Loud places, busy places, shows of dominance, these all can trigger a reaction.”

I nodded, sort of understanding what he meant. I recalled when Trey had been driven mad, when he’d lost himself. He hadn’t hurt people just to hurt them, but he’d reacted without the logical ability to think his way through a situation.

And the idea of a whole host of Weres in that same position was absolutely terrifying. The damage they could do, the carnage…

I understood fully what Kelvin had meant, why this was such an issue.

“Do you have any such Weres for me to examine?” Porter asked.

Galen lifted one side of his lip into a snarl. “I see no reason to have a Nature in my territory.”

I tossed the crumpled napkin in my hand at Galen, striking him in the temple. He would have managed to deflect it easily if he hadn’t had all of his attention on Porter. It went to show he didn’t view me as the threat at all. “Don’t be like that.”

“It’s a fair point,” Porter offered. “We don’t like entering each other’s territory when avoidable.”

“Well, too bad. This is a problem that will affect us all, right? Isn’t it better to combine our resources and try to figure it out together?”

And fuck had I never thought I’d be the ‘let’s work together’ cheerleader, yet here I was.

“Fine,” Galen muttered, sounding less than thrilled with the idea. “Two days from now, come to my house. I’ll have a few different subjects at different points in the progression.”

Porter nodded, then stood.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“We’ve done what we came for. I will see you both in two nights.” With that, he left, not even a goodbye.

Rude much?

Next time he came over, I’d make his coffee with salt instead of sugar as a petty payback.

When the front door closed behind him, I let out a deep breath. Dealing with them together exhausted me.

On their own they were tiring, sure, but together? It took juggling egos and I’d never been graceful enough for that bullshit.

“Sorry to drag you into this,” Galen said, his voice soft, having lost the sharp edge it held during the meeting. It went to show how differently he spoke to just me, how differently he treated me.

“Sounds like it’s not just a you problem,” I pointed out. “And it isn’t like you haven’t been there for me with enough of my problems.”

“The difference is that you never let me help. You never lean on me, even when I want you to.”

“Well, take me to dinner when it’s all worked out, okay? But be ready—I want to go to Korean barbecue and you’re going to have to do all the grilling and I’m going to get the biggest, most expensive set on the menu.” My stomach growled at the very thought of it.

He chuckled but made no move to get up, to leave. Instead, he seemed to settle in more. “You were at that hotel with Kelvin.”

I refused to appear uncomfortable about it. We were adults, right? There was no reason for me to act like I’d done anything wrong. Consenting adults could fuck like bunnies if we wanted, and I owed him nothing.

Try as I might, however, I couldn’t quite get that idea to sink in. “Yeah,” I answered.

He shook his head. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I get the circumstances of what’s happened. There are certain biological realities when it comes to vampires, to anything.”

“Way to sound like an awkward father giving his teenager the sex talk.”

“Well, what else do you want from me? It is awkward.” He sighed, then went on, again softening his voice. “I’m trying to tell you that I understand, that I’m not blaming you. I don’t like it, of course, but I understand why it’s needed. The last thing I’d want is for you to suffer from withdrawal.”

It would have been so easy to let things go there, to let him think it was that simple, but that felt dishonest. “It’s not just the bond,” I said.

“I know.” At my lifted eyebrow, he went on. “I wish I could say that it was just a physical need, that it’s nothing more than a feeding that occurs because it has to, but I know better. You’ve always had a connection with him beyond that. I don’t like it, of course, but I accept it.”

“How? How can you just accept that when you said you want me to become your mate?”

“Because I know you. You aren’t the type to be tied down, not to just one person or one thing. You never have been. If I were to try it, I’d only end up hurting you.”

I frowned, oddly unsettled by his statement. Was he giving up? It wasn’t that I wanted him to sit there and pine over me, to keep wanting me even if I weren’t available or anything.

Well, I mean, who didn’t want someone else to love them unconditionally?

But that was different. I was just disappointed because despite us never really getting past the enemies-to-lovers thing—or at least annoyance-to-lovers thing—I’d always held a bit of hope that we would.

I hadn’t realized that until I was faced with losing it. I’d never really considered how much I cared about Galen or how he’d spoiled me by always being there, no matter what. The idea of losing that…hurt.

“You’re worrying over nothing,” he pressed. “I didn’t say I wasn’t interested anymore, didn’t say I was giving up.”

“But you said—”

“That I know you won’t settle down with one person, and after taking enough time to think about that, I’m okay with it.”

That stopped me. Sure, Kelvin was fine with me fucking whoever, because he was a filthy pervert. Harrison had somehow seemed okay with the whole thing, probably because it was partly due to my issues with Kelvin.

But Galen?

Strait-laced, by the books Galen? He was okay with some weird harem idea? With me screwing around as I wanted? I couldn’t quite figure that out, couldn’t make sense of it. He was the sort to be possessive and difficult and domineering, but he was telling me he was fine with whatever this was?

I wasn’t sure if I liked that or not.

It almost felt like him saying he didn’t care all that much.

Which made no fucking sense, but when had I ever?

“So you’re fine with anything?” I asked.

“No, not anything. I’m not a doormat, Grey. I just have come to understand that the way Weres do it isn’t the only way. I trust my instinct enough when it tells me that you’re it for me, that you are meant to be my mate. It wouldn’t lead me wrong, after all. So beyond that, what our future looks like, that might change. It might not be exactly what I expected, what I thought it would be, and that’s okay. Before I changed, I didn’t expect to become a werewolf. This wasn’t at all the future I saw for myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It doesn’t mean that this didn’t work out.”

I blew out a long breath. “You sure put a lot of faith in instinct.”

“You learn to when you’re like this, when you have an entirely different being inside you. My wolf—my beast—it isn’t me. It isn’t a part of me. It is a different creature who shares my skin, and instinct is one of the things that guides us both, that helps us work together. You have a different being inside you as well—your crow. You have to figure out how to coexist.”

I thought again about Trey. I hadn’t seen him since that night, since I’d saved him and he’d saved me and we’d somehow managed to survive it all. How was he doing? Was he still suffering?

The damage done to him had been reversed, at least some of it, but that didn’t say how much of a recovery he’d make. It might not be enough, after all.

“He’s doing okay.”

I jerked my gaze to Galen at his very right guess. “How’d you know what I was thinking?”

“Because as much as you may hate it—I know you. Trey’s doing better than expected. The damage wasn’t all reversed, of course, and he still struggles with his control, but he isn’t in danger of execution anymore.”

“Is he back in school?”

“No. He can’t stop his shifting, so even in a school with mostly Spirits, he runs the risk of having issues if he turns into a bear all of a sudden.”

“They should just make him a mascot—all fixed.” The joke lacked any real feeling, but that was fine. I made it more to defuse the situation, to lessen the anxiety inside of me just a bit.

And the guilt…

“He doesn’t blame you,” Galen tacked on, voice soft. “None of it was your fault.”

“I got him targeted. If I hadn’t gone to that school, if I wasn’t looking for the drug dealer, they never would have done that to him.” My voice cracked as I admitted it, hating the truth of the statement.

“You can’t blame yourself for everything that happens. Stick to just the things you do, not the unintended consequences. If you blamed yourself for everything else, you’d never get any sleep, given what chaos you tend to have around you.” His joke was no better than mine, but it somehow helped. The bit of levity eased the guilt inside me, or at least let me ignore it for a short while. I didn’t have to think about what was going on, what I’d done, none of it.

He stood, then took both cups into the kitchen. The ease with which he walked around my house surprised me, but Galen seemed at ease everywhere, didn’t he?

He was solid in a way few things really were. He showed up when I needed him, never backed down even when a smart man would. He’d been my first introduction to my new life, to the Spirit world, and in the years since I’d changed into what I now was, he’d never wavered in that support.

It made me wonder what my life would be like if I lost that, if I no longer had him at my back.

I couldn’t fathom it, honestly. That was how important he’d become to me, how vital to my everyday life.

Which made me wonder again why I always resisted, why I pushed him away, why I fought against what seemed inevitable.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I walked up behind him as he rinsed the cups in the sink. I wrapped my arms around him, his frame leaner than one would expect from the alpha of all the Weres. I rested my forehead against his back, breathing in his clean, wild scent.

“Grey…” he said, his voice deeper than before. Every word vibrated through his back, the warning soft.

“Is this what instinct says you should do?” I whispered. “I mean, I don’t have the same instinct you have, but I know what my passenger is saying.”

The same thing my crow had said for the past five years—that Galen was dangerous as fuck but I should climb on and enjoy the ride, at least for a while.

He shuddered, then set the cups in the drying rack. With all the energy rushing through him I would have expected him to just toss them aside, shattering them if he had to. Who really cared, after all? What was some ceramic in the face of what we had both wanted for years?

He gripped my wrists.

This was it. Would he turn us both and plant my ass up on the counter? Fuck me here in the kitchen?

In front of my precious dishes?

Sounded like a good end to a weird day to me!

Except he pulled my arm away from him, didn’t grab me again. He moved out of my grasp. “I should get going.”

Wait…what?

For a moment I wondered if this was some kinky game, then I remembered this was Galen we were talking about. I was pretty sure the idea of kink might just make him faint.

“You don’t have to,” I said, trying to press, to play coy but also make it clear that I was being extremely easy at the moment.

“Yeah, I think it’s best.”

Shot down.

That was embarrassing, really, a rejection that final, that sure. The only thing worse would be if he took a look at my naked body and then noped out.

Was it because of Kelvin? Because of earlier?

I’d showered!

I managed to keep my mouth shut and not blurt that out, since I doubted it would help my case at all. Galen wanted to leave instead of sleeping with me, and no matter how little I liked that, I had to accept it.

So I plastered on a smile to hide the cracks in my confidence. “Sure. It’s been a long day. Guess I’ll see you in two days.”

He nodded, took a step toward me, then paused and shook his head. “Sleep well,” he offered in a rush before leaving just as Porter had.

It left me there, alone in the house, wondering just what the hell had happened.

Was I losing my touch? I scratched my head and figured that there was nothing I could do to work it out right now. It wasn’t like I could control how he felt, what he wanted and what he didn’t.

Was it annoying and confusing? Fuck, yes, it was. I had no idea how he could tell me he wanted me even if we weren’t exclusive, that I was end game for him, then turn me down when I was actually finally offering myself to him?

I huffed out an exasperated breath then headed up to bed.

The truth was, I doubted I’d ever really understand men. There was no reason to let that get to me now.

A good night’s sleep could fix almost anything.

* * * *

Galen

You idiot. I rested my forehead against the wheel of my truck, having parked about a block away after leaving. Dragging myself out of Grey’s house had been one of the hardest things I’d ever managed to do. Everything inside of me had demanded I stay, that I get closer, that I cover her in my scent.

I’d told her I was fine with not having her all to myself, and I had meant it, but that didn’t erase the need to possess her, to ensure she was actually mine.

A deep growl filled the cab of the truck, low and dangerous.

Stop it!

I wrestled with my beast, with the prowling wolf inside me that scratched at the inside of my body, that wanted out, wanted at Grey. I’d protected her from it—from me—for five years now, ever since I first saw her and knew immediately that she was mine, that I had to have her no matter the cost.

And I’d spent the five years since trying to protect her—from a world determined to hurt her and her determined to destroy herself.

Here we were, and she finally gave me a chance to move beyond where we’d always been, and what did I do?

Run away.

I curled my hand into a fist and slammed it against the center console, the plastic giving instantly. That was the risk with Weres, and the reason so many of the stronger types drove such beater cars. We tended to lose our tempers often.

Not me, though. Never me. I had always been careful to keep control, to never allow myself to get out of hand. The risk was too great for that to happen, and I didn’t want to risk those around me.

However, something about Grey had always spoken to my beast in an uncomfortable way. It wasn’t easy, didn’t calm me. If anything, it served the opposite. It riled me, made me want to possess her at any risk, no matter the consequences.

And as tempting as it might have been to fall into that, to just allow myself to get carried away by that feeling, I couldn’t.

So I’d left even when I hadn’t wanted to, had walked away even when everything inside me had screamed to grab her and not let go.

But I couldn’t risk her.

No matter what I wanted or how badly, I couldn’t risk her seeing this, or what might happen if I truly lost myself. So instead, I’d ran. That hurt expression plagued me, reminded me that even if she had the mouth of a pissed-off mechanic and the right hook of a bar fighter, she was still someone who could get her feelings hurt.

And I was probably one of the few who could do that to her.

Better a bit of pain now, though, than worse later. Better for me to upset her now than have her end up six feet under later.

So even though everything inside of me wanted to go back to her, even though my instinct screamed in my head, I pressed my foot down on the gas and guided the truck away from her house, back toward my own.

I needed to figure this out before it ended up doing some real harm, before I risked Grey with it. I’d done things I wasn’t proud of, had made plenty of mistakes, but I refused to think that seriously hurting Grey could ever be one of them.

No matter what, I had to find a cure and protect her.