Page 10 of Flock Around and Find Out (Flocking It Up #3)

Morning-afters were inevitably awkward. It was like some unwritten rule that everyone had to follow, the idea that we wouldn’t be able to act friendly, that we had to feel weird and uncomfortable.

And this morning sure did fucking follow that trend.

Ruben hadn’t said anything about the night before. I’d woken up to find him gone, and had thought for a moment he’d dined and dashed on me.

However, he’d shown back up, surprised I’d woken so early, and with food. I could forgive most people if they bought me food, as it turned out.

We’d eaten in the room in painful silence before checking out and heading back toward home around ten in the morning. It meant I hadn’t gotten enough sleep to feel well rested, but I wouldn’t pass out, either.

The truck turned out to be just as uncomfortable as the hotel room, telling me that our awkwardness was hardly location related.

“About last night,” Ruben started, his gaze locked forward.

Nope.

He had that flat tone and I wasn’t sure I could handle him telling me that it was all a misunderstanding, that he’d done it to help me relax, because he knew I’d needed the sleep. What if he said it was some reward for me having gone on the trip and us finding the book?

So as I found was usually the better path than just waiting to get hit, I struck first. “It didn’t mean anything. I know—it’s okay.”

He furrowed his brow. What, did he not like me saying it first? He didn’t enjoy losing out on being the one who won?

Too fucking bad.

I went on, nerves causing my words to rattle out. “It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing because I was sore and needed a good night’s sleep. Don’t worry about it—I get it. I mean, you and me?” I forced out a laugh that probably didn’t come across as all that honest. “Ridiculous. We’re good. This is for the best, anyway. It’s good for us to know where we stand. What’s a little oral sex between coworkers?”

Even I winced at that last one.

He said nothing, his gaze still locked on the road out front. The silence carried on for so long that I worried we wouldn’t speak again for the entire six-hour ride home.

Part of me wondered if that wouldn’t be less painful, all things considered. Sure, silence sucked, but did we have anything to say worth saying?

After four minutes—according to the infotainment screen in the center of the truck’s dashboard, because I watched—Ruben finally answered. “Okay.”

It was a simple answer, yet it seemed to shatter something inside me.

Okay?

What the fuck was up with this disappointment I felt?

Why would I actually be upset over him accepting what I’d said? What, did I want him to fight with me over it? To tell me no, there was something more between us? That it was different than I thought?

Instead of risking opening my mouth again, I reached forward and hit the radio button on the screen, then cranked up the dial, letting music fill the cab.

It was country, which I didn’t normally love, but which seemed to set the depressing mood perfectly right now. Some man sang about losing his woman, about how it destroyed his life, and if nothing else, it made me think that yeah—this was for the best.

Orgasms were one thing—giving away hearts was the thing that really hurt a person.

* * * *

Let sleeping dogs lie.

I wondered if the saying also went for wolves. Not that it mattered—I planned to do what I wanted no matter what old idiom told me otherwise.

Sure, Galen was cute as fuck in his sleep. He didn’t have his glasses on, of course, and it made him appear less like a computer nerd. He also seemed oddly relaxed in a way he rarely was when awake.

It made it clear the weight on his shoulders, the worries he carried all the time. As alpha for all the wolves, as leader for all the Weres, he had so many things to deal with.

Looking at him like this, I could understand why girls so often fell for him.

Except that wasn’t what was on the agenda for today. If I wanted to molest him while he was sleeping, that would have to wait.

“I found it,” I said, lowering my voice to a whisper.

He jerked upright, his lips peeled back, his teeth already shifted into fangs. He looked around, his eyes bright, searching for whatever had dared woken him.

If I had any brains or self-preservation, I probably would have worried. Most people who saw that didn’t see much past it—ever.

Me, though?

It was just Galen. No matter how he growled or snarled, I never found it in me to be truly afraid of him.

He twisted his gaze toward me, and I expected the fangs to recede, for him to recognize me and lecture me as he usually did.

That didn’t happen.

Those bright eyes locked on me, and if anything, brightened…

That is not good.

A tense heartbeat later, he shook his head, then dropped it into his hands. A shudder ran through his body, and when he lifted his face toward mine again, he was back to fully human.

Not that that erased the memory of what had just happened.

“Why would you wake me up like that?”

“Well, I thought about waking you with a blow job or something, but figured you might object to that. Besides, I whispered.”

He didn’t react to my joke. Was he still groggy? All I knew for sure was that he didn’t appear amused by it, or even that annoyed.

“Would you meet me downstairs?”

“But I’ve got stuff to say,” I whined, then held up the yellow book. “It’s all in here.”

He slid out of the bed, on the other side, giving me a perfect view of his ass.

And this one could hold its own against Ruben’s. Maybe it was because I saw Galen’s in all its naked glory or something, but damn.

He glanced over his shoulder, a dangerous glint to his eyes, a warning and a dare.

It all seemed so unlike him. “Downstairs.”

“Right,” I said, his tone getting me moving.

After what had happened with Ruben, I sure didn’t need to get rejected yet again. Once in a twenty-four hour period was quite enough humiliation for me.

I didn’t turn to walk out, though. Nope. Even if I were conceding ground here, I wasn’t going to waste the retreat.

So I walked backward toward the door, not willing to tear my eyes away from his broad, toned back, the way his waist tucked in toward his hips, the perfect curve of his ass.

Fuck me.

And I meant that in a pretty literal way. I didn’t think I’d mind it one bit if he decided to go that way.

Of course, he wanted me to be his mate, so he’d probably start bothering me about that, wanting a commitment.

Just let me have that dick.

I caught myself just when I reached the stairs before I went toppling down them, when he bent forward slightly to pull on a pair of jeans.

Please leave them undone.

I sent that final plea into the universe before giving in and turning around to wait downstairs.

The clock above the kitchen table read four in the morning. I was exhausted, of course, since after getting home rather late from Ruben’s and my little trip, I had immediately gone to work reading the book.

Ruben had complained, telling me that he should keep it, but it seemed his heart was less in the battle than usual as he gave up rather quickly.

That was fine with me. All I really wanted was the chance to go through it. I figured I was a better option, since Knot had told me about it. Besides, I was the one working on this, helping Galen with it.

Ruben couldn’t get too directly involved without risking it becoming an official Justice problem and no one wanted that.

The Justices solved a lot of problems, sure, but they usually did it in a way no one liked. It was like when Mom came in and grounded everyone.

Sure, the fighting stopped, but we were all paying the price for it.

I’d rather not get scolded by Mother Dearest, so it was better the kids dealt with it ourselves.

I made myself a snack while I waited, since I’d missed dinner. The sandwich looked amazing, not because of my skill but rather because Galen always had the best food on hand.

It probably came from a fear that hungry werewolves could eat people, which meant they liked to keep good food around.

Just as I cut it down the center, Galen came around the corner, his bare feet soft and silent against the hardwood floors. His hair was messy, as though he’d simply finger combed the strands, and more tension than usual sat in his shoulders.

Was that because of me waking him up or was he stressed about the issue with the Weres?

He didn’t address me at first, instead going over the coffee maker and setting it up to brew a pot.

I’d hit the point where I knew I’d just miss sleep for today, so bring on the coffee.

The scent filled the room, but the liquid percolating and spilling into the carafe was darker than usual. That seemed a sure sign that he wasn’t doing that great, and probably not just because of the whole four in the morning thing.

We didn’t speak as he made two cups of coffee. He made mine just the way I liked it and set it before me, then sat across the table.

He took a sip, closed his eyes as he savored it, then finally looked at me. “All right. Now, what was so important that you woke me up at four in the morning?”

“To be fair, I’ve snuck in here lots of times. You normally hear me before I ever get to your room.” Saying it out loud made me realize just how weird that really was. Why hadn’t he heard me?

“I’ve been dealing with a lot and not sleeping well. I suggest you don’t try that again. If you ring the doorbell, I’ll hear no matter what.”

I pursed my lips at the idea of ringing the doorbell. I hated that, probably because I feared somewhere inside of me that if I asked for permission to enter, I wouldn’t get it. I’d seen too many closed and locked doors in my face to want to put myself willingly into that situation.

“Do you want to hear what I found or not?”

He nodded. “You came all this way—you might as well tell me.”

I tapped the book and explained how Knot had told me about it and how Ruben had helped me get it from the archives. He said nothing, just listened the way he often did.

I’d give him credit for that—Galen had always been exceptional at just letting me get the story out first.

“I stayed up reading it last night. See, Knot didn’t tell me what exactly I was looking for, as usual. It took a while. The book is written about Spirits, about how they come into being or disappear. It’s a book of stories, of fables, but this one here, the stagnant river, this is our answer.”

“A book of fables is our answer?” His question came out dry.

“It’s about a clan of Spirits who traveled too far away from their source. They wanted to find new grounds, always wanting to expand, to have more. So the clan picks up and relocates, over and over again. Each new generation spreads farther, moves farther away, and they start to forget where they lived before. They start to forget the river that had given them life, that had fed them and helped them to survive. They eventually don’t tell those stories anymore, and the river forgets about them. See, the water has to flow much farther now to reach them, and the rivers fork off and because they’ve traveled so far, the water doesn’t flow right anymore. It grows thick and is full of algae and illness. The entire clan ends up dying because they are too far away from the water source.”

Galen took another drink of his coffee, and I couldn’t read his expression. Did he understand my point? Did he read into the story? He set his cup down. “So you think that story has something to do with what is happening now?”

“Knot wouldn’t have sent me there if it didn’t. Look, we know that energy flows from central places, right? That’s what creates the clans. Those central places of power are the waterfalls. What if because we’ve forgotten about those, we aren’t doing something we’re supposed to anymore?”

Galen sat back in his seat. “A long time ago, long before I became a Were, I’ve heard stories that the heads of the different types would make pilgrimages to somewhere in the forest. Every Were would when they first became one, and the elders at other times to honor the old god.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in the old gods.”

“I don’t. I think people—Spirit or human—are fantastic at turning things they can’t understand into gods. They’ve done it forever. However, there might be something to what you’re saying. Perhaps there is something that has to be done for the energy to flow correctly.”

“Why would it only affect the Weres, though?”

“There are more Weres than other groups, so that could be why. Or maybe whatever has to be done, the other clans are still doing some of? Or it might still hit the other clans, but the Weres showed the symptoms fastest?” He shook his head, as though frustrated by the lack of clear answers.

“So what now?”

“There is a very old Were who might remember such times. He isn’t really sane anymore.”

“Is he locked up then?”

“No. He isolated himself a long time ago, so we leave him alone for the most part.”

“Wolf?”

“Tiger.”

I frowned. “I’ve never heard of those.”

“They’re rare, even more so because he is a white tiger. However, if anyone remembers the old rituals, he would.”

“Maybe we should talk to the other clans about any rituals they might still do? See if there’s anything useful there?” I suggested.

“I doubt they would tell me anything, but you are welcome to try.”

I got the sense he didn’t like saying that, as though he had a distaste for sending me off to do work like that—especially with the other clans.

“I would start with the Natures.”

“Yeah, Kelvin doesn’t seem very ritual to me, and the Minds…” I trailed off when I couldn’t bring myself to admit that Harrison had still not reached out. How long had it been since everything had happened, since I’d killed his brother to save him and myself?

“Still no word?” Galen asked, his voice gentle.

I shook my head, then let out a hollow laugh. “I guess he’s as good at holding grudges as I am.”

Galen lifted his hand, as though to reach across the table and hold mine, but paused before he did so. He closed his hand into a fist and pulled back.

What the hell is that about?

“I’ll make the arrangements to go see the tiger.”

“When are we leaving?”

“We aren’t. I am.”

I let out an exasperated breath. “Come on, Galen, haven’t I proven myself yet? I’m the one who found this.” I tapped the book. “I want to know what he says.”

“You don’t need to get any more involved in this than you are.”

“You’re the one who’s always talking about mates, but you won’t even accept my help?” I knew that was a dirty card to play, but I couldn’t help it. I’d come this far, helped this much, I couldn’t stop now.

And whether Galen wanted to admit it or not, I was helpful. I didn’t see the world as he did, as most of the Spirits did, because I wasn’t one of them. So the things they took for granted, the truths they just assumed, I questioned.

“Given the situation with the strays, I don’t know if the tiger will be safe or not,” Galen admitted.

“So? I’ve seen you take on a werebear.”

“I don’t think you understand. This weretiger is thousands of years old, maybe more. I don’t know how strong he is, or whether or not I could protect you.”

“Well, good thing I can protect myself.” I moved my hand to open my personal bay, the portal shimmering into sight where I could put my things—one of the rare advantages to my job as a courier—and pulled out a small black device that fit into my hand. “See? Stun gun. I’m good!” I tossed it back in when he looked less impressed than I’d hoped, and closed the portal.

“Grey…”

“Look, I’m going whether you want me there or not. If you try to leave without me, I’ll just follow you. If you try to trap me, I’ll escape. If you make it really difficult to go with you, then I’ll find him and go myself. So, your options are to take me with you or let me go on my own, but make no mistake—I am going to go meet him.” I picked up my coffee to drink it like a badass.

Only I had forgotten just how hot it was, so the large gulp I took burned my mouth and tongue, and I spit it back into the cup with a pained hiss.

So much for looking like a badass, huh?

Still, even with that little display, Galen sighed. “Fine. If those are my options, I guess taking you with me is the safer of the two. We’ll leave in three days.”

“How far is it?”

“He lives in a forest in South America.”

“So I’ll need a passport? Because I don’t have one.”

Galen shook his head. “I have access to a private plane and we can make it over the borders without notice.”

Even with that worked out, however, I noticed Galen didn’t exactly look happier. In fact, I’d venture the opposite. He appeared tenser than he had when I’d arrived, as though every little bit of time here, with me, had only caused him more uneasiness.

Why?

He’d never been a super-chill dude, but he’d never been like this.

The memory of how he’d pulled his hand back stuck with me. I chalked it all up to stress, to the frustration of what was happening, the fear that his entire clan might be in danger and that he might not have a way to save them.

Galen always took those things on himself, felt responsible for it all, for everything.

So I finished the coffee—more slowly this time—and didn’t address it, didn’t risk making it worse by pointing out the way he was acting.

I could only hope that when we fixed this, when we found a way to save them, he’d relax.

Because the thought of him snapping scared even me.