Page 15 of Flock Around and Find Out (Flocking It Up #3)

I ate a bite of the cooked meat—though I didn’t ask what sort of meat it was—as we all sat around the firepit.

The tiger—named Alpho, as it turned out—had started the fire and left before returning with something that looked vaguely like an animal but without the fur, skin or head, I couldn’t tell what kind. He’d put it on the spit and roasted it.

Galen remained in his human form, and the wound at his shoulder had mostly healed. It had been a gaping hole—a sharpened stick in a pit, from what Galen said—but he didn’t seem to hold a grudge against Alpho.

Galen had packed an extra set of clothing in his bag which meant we had something to wear. I hadn’t replaced the last set I’d taken from my personal bay, which meant I had to share what he had. He’d put on the pants and given me the shirt and boxers. Wearing his underwear felt oddly intimate.

Was I some sort of perverted freak who got off on stuff like that? Fuck if I knew, but I felt all too on display in them, despite the fact they didn’t show much.

And Galen and Alpho had both just seen me entirely naked.

“It’s good,” I admitted as I ate the falling-apart, delicious meat from the plate Alpho had given me. “I’m surprised you can make such good food out here.”

“I do go into town now and then for spices, and meat is easy to make well no matter what. You came a rather long way just to ask me a question,” Alpho said, the first time we’d actually gotten back to the conversation at hand, the one interrupted by him trying to murder me.

Galen sighed. “I’m the head of the Were Clan and the wolf alpha.”

“I thought you smelled of dog,” Alpho muttered, his tone lacking any sense of respect.

I rarely heard people speak that rudely to Galen. His own pack never would, and even Kelvin tended to avoid outright insults.

I sort of liked Alpho better because of that. Someone with a mouth they couldn’t control was always one of my favorite parts of friendship.

“You try,” Galen said to me, then pouted as he stared at his food and ate.

Men…

I rolled my eyes, because this wasn’t even my problem! So I had to fight the deadly tiger and have the conversation, too.

Figures .

“I said before, you know, during the whole you trying to eat me thing, that there are Weres getting sick.”

He nodded. “I’ve felt it. The energy is souring.”

I sat up straight. This was the first real spark of hope I’d found in a while. He not only knew about the issue but seemed to identify what it was. That had to be a good thing, right?

“That’s right. Well, I have a working theory that it’s because the Weres have stopped doing ancient rituals. I heard about a trip that all Weres had to make, to the old places. You’re the oldest were that we know of, so I was hoping you might know where that was.”

He nodded, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Yes. I made the trip, a very long time ago, as all Weres used to do.” Shadows danced in his eyes, something that told me the trip wasn’t a pleasant one.

Then again, hadn’t Porter warned me of the same? That wherever this energy came from, it wasn’t the kind of place that anyone should want to go willingly.

Maybe it was like the gynecologist—no matter how much it sucked, you still had to go.

“So you can tell us where it is?” I pressed.

He nodded. “Yes, I can, but it isn’t so much a where. It’s a how.”

“You know I’m not that smart, right? Let’s not play games, because I’ll never catch up.”

He huffed softly as though amused. “You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve shared a meal with anyone, since I’ve spent time with someone like this. It’s not as bad as I remember. What I meant by that is that the place isn’t a real place, at least not one you can walk to or find. A pathway is opened by an old prayer that a Were has to invoke. When it does, a shimmering golden doorway appears. On the other side of that doorway is a different world, one that does not follow the rules of this one. It is wild, soaked in Spirit energy. There are many paths, but finding your way is not so difficult because there is a pull. I saw other clans there, other Spirits who were not Weres, all pulled in their own ways. I believe that all the old energy exists there, in that place, but we can each feel it. It’s instinctual.” He had a strange expression, one somewhere between awe and fear.

“What did you do after you followed that path?”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure. That was a very long time ago, but I did talk to others, and none seemed able to recall what happened when they reached the end of that path beyond walking into a cave with a shimmering amber lake. I remember the huge cave filled with crystals imbedded into the walls and a body of water in the center, but it wasn’t clear. It was the same color our eyes change to, and it called to me. The next thing I remembered was waking up back where I had left from, back where the doorway had first opened.”

I didn’t respond right away, letting the information soak in, trying to mull it over.

It fit, didn’t it? Everything I’d found, to everything I’d heard. Porter had said that another place existed, that it was dangerous—it sounded like the same place. The story had mentioned a lake, so it sounded as though it might not be as metaphorical as I had thought. Maybe the source of the Spirit energy was there, in that place. If we went there, we had a direction, a way to at least work out what had happened.

If the water was trapped in some way, no longer flowing to the Weres, we could figure out why. We could see what the Weres were supposed to do and hopefully fix the problem.

“What’s the invocation?” Galen asked.

“By tradition, it must be done under the full moon, and the Were must speak as they shift. That is the way to call the attention to open to doorway. Then the Were must say ‘I seek an audience with the one I came from.’ I’ve seen other invocations used by other types over the years, so I am not sure that the specific words even matter so much as the action and attempt.”

I glanced over at Galen, who stared into the fire instead of at me. I wondered what went through his head, what he thought about that made him that serious.

After so long feeling like we were close, like we had so much in common, there was this strange distance between us now. I could tell he had something on his mind, but he didn’t tell me what it was.

Sure, he’d never been the kind to complain much, but he’d never had something bother him this much, either.

Maybe it was just stress over what was to come, over how difficult the job was really going to be.

Whatever it was, no matter how much I wanted to make it all better, I knew I couldn’t. This wasn’t a problem I could fix for him, but fuck, I just hoped we could fix it at all.

* * * *

“Absolutely not.” Kelvin sat up straight in his chair, his eyes already edging toward red. Funny how difficult he was to read at the best of times, but right now?

Right now it wasn’t hard to figure out what exactly he had on his mind.

It came tumbling out from his mouth, after all.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? You’re telling me you plan to go to some dangerous other realm to work out the doggy problem? Like hell I’m going to just allow that.”

My crow bristled at those words, as though he had any say over anything I did.

I kept that in because it would only send us all down a bad path and the one we were on wasn’t great to start with.

We were all in the council meeting room—though, as usual, Harrison had sent a representative in his stead, one who never fucking said a thing. They just sat there, listened, and abstained from any votes when they came up.

Galen had gathered the meeting because if we didn’t do something, the issue with the Weres could result in even larger casualties. We had two weeks before the next full moon, which meant we had time to plan.

“I’m going to have to agree with Kelvin,” Ruben said, his tone more controlled. “This is a problem that affects the entire Spirit world. We aren’t talking about a few Spirits becoming dangerous—we’re talking about of clan of millions. The repercussions are too great to just send the two of you.”

“This isn’t a field trip,” Galen snarled. “Weres have done this ritual for a long time all on our own.”

“Yes, and back then, it worked. We have no idea if what you expect to find, if what they used to find, is what is there anymore. What if the problem requires more than just a wolf and a crow?” Ruben pointed out.

Even as he spoke what seemed like entirely reasonable words on the surface, I couldn’t fail to notice the way his gaze moved to me between the statements. I had a feeling that all that logical sense he was spewing was only part of the reason he didn’t want us going alone.

“It could be dangerous,” I pointed out.

“It will be,” Porter interrupted, the first time he’d spoken since Galen had told the council our plan. “That place is extremely dangerous normally. With what is happening now, there is no way to say it won’t be worse. Many Natures have died there, even very strong ones.”

“You are not helping,” I muttered, not surprised when he didn’t appear all that chastised over it.

“This has to get done. The dangers don’t matter,” Galen finally said, his voice holding a tinge of despair.

“The dangers would be mitigated if we worked together. I suggest each clan sends a representative to go with you for protection. This has to succeed—for all our goods. The damage the Weres would do if they went mad, the power vacuum if they disappeared, it can’t be allowed to happen. Besides, from what Porter found, it is possible this sickness could infect wildlife or even other clans. Choose someone capable, strong and loyal. Have them meet Galen at the designated place the night of the full moon,” Ruben said.

No one spoke, not to argue, because who could? We all understood what could happen if the Weres truly went mad. They were extremely powerful and with so many of them around, it was a disaster waiting to happen. In fact, they could end up turning far too many humans on top of every other risk.

This might have started out as a Were problem, but it was clearly an all of us problem, now, and we were going to have to work it out together.

The rest of the meeting went quickly. The other problems seemed so petty in comparison, with most of the little complaints and treaties set aside until after the full moon.

It was like worrying about paying a speeding ticket as a comet sailed toward Earth.

Not our biggest problem.

I went to follow Galen as we all rose, but when I reached his side, he shook his head, not looking at me. “I’m going home alone.”

The words took me back, made me hesitate. He’d threatened to leave me or kick me out a lot of times, but he’d never actually done it.

He swallowed hard, and I thought for a moment he’d take it back. He rarely stayed mad long. Except, he didn’t. He shook his head slowly. “I’ll meet you at my house on the night of the full moon. Until then, I think it’s best you don’t come over.”

He didn’t wait for me to respond before he walked out, never looking back, never meeting my gaze.

And the asshole had done that in the middle of a room full of people. Yep, private humiliation wasn’t good enough for him. He wanted everyone to see him turn me down, to see him push me away so hard I was lucky I stayed on my feet.

“You want somewhere to stay for the night, Birdy?” Kelvin asked in that come-hither voice he used, the one that probably worked on anyone with a heartbeat.

I knew him, though. He did it not so much because he wanted me over—though he did—but to help take my mind off what had just happened.

I smiled brightly and shook my head. “Thanks, but I should probably get a good night’s sleep, too. Besides, if we’re going on a big trip, it’ll be good to get things settled at home. No one seems to know how long this ritual takes so I’ve gotta get things in order.

The idea of sleeping alone sounded horrible, but that didn’t stop me refusing a pity fuck just because it might feel sort of nice for a moment. I was better than that.

Or so I told myself. I didn’t know if I actually was, or even if I felt better, but I’d rather not appear as pathetic as I might be.

He narrowed his eyes just a bit, a sure sign that he knew I was bluffing. Still, he didn’t call me on it, didn’t tell me I should do as he said. He nodded. “Fine, but if you get lonely, just call.”

“Thanks.” And, for once, I actually meant it.

I never would have thought I’d rely on Kelvin as I did. When I’d first met him, when he liked to haul me in for petty shit, I’d thought I’d hate him forever. I’d figured I’d never find common ground with him.

To think we’d somehow ended up here, with the two of us actually close, never failed to surprise me.

He nodded, then walked out.

Porter came over, his gaze following Kelvin. “This mission might end up being a bad idea. You realize that you could get hurt, right?”

“I always could get hurt. At least this time’s for a good reason.”

Porter snorted softly, the sound a sure sign he didn’t agree. “Make sure you rest plenty. There is little of that once you cross that barrier. It is unlike anything you have faced before.” He left on that cryptic message, though I was pretty used to that from him. Porter was a weird-ass guy, at the end of the day. He seemed so connected to things in one way, but like he was from a totally different world at other times.

It left only Ruben and me, Harrison’s representative already skirting out of there the moment she could, as usual. She never spoke to me, as though I were somehow off limits.

It made me wonder what horrible things Harrison might have told her about me. I hated that idea, but it made sense. He probably said I’d killed his brother, that I was dangerous, and she treated me the way friends treat a person’s horrible ex.

Which sucked, because people liked me, damn it!

Well, some people.

Not that many, if I really thought about it.

I shifted and sat on the edge of the table, letting my legs swing.

“You know, sitting on the council table is considered a breach of protocol,” Ruben said, as though we were playing ‘fun fact of the day.’

“Well, what are you going to do? Throw me in a cell? Again?”

“What would be the point? You always escape.”

“On of the rare benefits of what I am. Sure, I’m always in trouble and always getting myself fucked over, but hey, at least I can’t get stuck anywhere!” I paused, then snickered. “Though even that isn’t always a good thing. One time, I went on one of those trips where you take the elevator up to an observatory. Well, it got stuck halfway up. I was trapped. What do you think happened? That’s right, the doors opened for me, however, given that we weren’t actually at a floor I got to just see the freefall I could have taken down while the others screamed. It wasn’t as helpful as my crow probably thought.”

Ruben huffed a soft laugh before leaning his hip against the table. “That seems quite on brand for you. You have a habit of turning things that seem rather straightforward into far more complicated and messy versions.”

“It’s not like I mean to.”

“I know, and to be honest, I don’t mean it as an insult. Yes, there are times it is frustrating, times when I wish I could predict or control you in some way, but most of the time it is unexpectedly fun. It is something that I have never really experienced before, a sensation that it surprising to me. I don’t feel much, for the most part, but you cause me to actually remember what it is like to have fun.” His gaze seemed far away, like he thought about all those years that came before.

“What do you remember of your human life?”

“Most of it, but it’s like remembering the plot to a movie. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t feel anything about it. It simply happened.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Being human? No, not at all.” He paused for a moment, then added on. “Perhaps that isn’t entirely true. Sometimes I see how you react with others, how some things come so easily to you all, and I feel envious of that. I wish I knew what to say, how to act. Perhaps I do miss that.”

I bumped his shoulder with my own. “You don’t do so badly.”

“No?” He lifted his dark eyebrow as though to call me either a liar or an idiot. Worse, when I thought back, I saw his point. He was impossible to read, to understand, and how many times had I wanted to punch him in his face when he stared back with complete confusion over my annoyance?

Far too many times.

“Fine,” I said. “There might be times it’s a bit of a nuisance. Still, I don’t think I’d want you any other way.”

“You wouldn’t prefer me human? Or from another of the clans? It wouldn’t be easier?”

“Nope, not a bit. Trust me, I’ve dealt with all the Spirits and they’re all annoying in their own way. I think that’s what really binds us all together at the end of the day—it isn’t that we’re alike exactly, it isn’t common ground, it’s that we’re all really fucking annoying in totally different yet equal ways.” I shook my head. “Except for Knot. He is annoying in an entirely unhinged and extreme way no one else comes close to.”

Ruben didn’t laugh, but asked softly, “Are you sure you have to go? Can’t the others handle the Were problem on their own?”

I swung my feet some more, like burning off that little bit of energy helped me to settle. “No, I can’t. You know me better than that, don’t you? There’s a problem for people I care about—not just Galen, but you all. I can’t just sit back and do nothing when I know I could help. This is too important.”

“But you’re more fragile than the others.”

“Hey, you knock that off. In case you’ve forgotten, I fought an ancient weretiger—”

“You what?” His sharp tone cut off my bragging and made me realize that, yeah, Galen had sort of skimmed over that part, hadn’t he? He hadn’t fully explained what had happened with the tiger, only what he’d said.

Which I totally understood the reason for. No one really needed to know that I’d done that or how close it had been to going very bad.

And yet I’d managed to out myself—as I usually did.

“Yes, fine, I fought a weretiger, and guess what? I won! So you really have no good reason to worry about anything. I’m tougher than I look. I mean, I survived getting framed for murder by vampires and I survived a crazed druggie who wanted to dig around in my skull. I can survive this, too. I think surviving might be one of my few really useful traits. No matter what happens, I tend to survive, somehow.”

“Until you don’t. That’s the thing people don’t realize until too late, that all trends end. You survive until one time you don’t. Until it’s all over and everyone else is left behind to realize that things are never as solid as they seem.” His voice was so soft, I had to strain to hear him, each word pained.

I got the sense it wasn’t just about me, however.

“Well, you don’t have to worry this time, at least. I’m sure it’ll all work out great. I’ll have Galen there and then whoever the other clans send. It’ll be one great big party and we’ll get it all taken care of fast.”

I didn’t believe that one bit, of course, and neither did he. When had things ever worked out well? When had they gone my way? When had they not spiraled out of control into one big fucking mess where I had no idea how to get through it all?

However, I hadn’t been lying. No matter how back they got, no matter how difficult, I always came out on top at the end.

Well, maybe on top, but at least alive. That was the only one that really mattered at the end of the day. Alive meant I could keep trying, that I could make things better afterward, that I could continue.

On top? Winning? Those weren’t things I really knew much about, but scraping by to fuck up another day?

Well, that was one thing I was really damned good at.