Page 69 of Finding Her (Lore of the Fields #1)

Last Summer

The pub was dead, only two patrons had stopped in over the last hour.

I’d been late to opening in the first place, but now I regretted showing up at all.

There were no distractions when things were this slow.

I was left alone with my thoughts. More than anything, I wanted to quit and sink into my misery.

Maybe, if I was a shit enough employee, Theo would fire me and save me the internal conflict of submitting the resignation myself.

Of course, he never did, and I couldn’t bring myself to cut off my source of income.

I had a mortgage to pay. I may have failed Faeryn, but I’d keep the home she’d so enthusiastically began renovating, just in case she ever returned.

It was the least I could do. It was the only thing I could do.

The two male voices in a nearby booth suddenly fell quiet—a surefire signal the conversation was about to get interesting.

Desperate to get out of my own head, I headed to the counter closest to them and faked being busy with the kegs under the bartop.

Eavesdropping was better than nothing. Theo, Stella, and I combined likely knew every secret our little town had to offer.

Although none of us were prone to gossip, so our collective knowledge never created a fully informed person.

“I heard there was a breach,” the Pyran said quietly. “My wife was up all night trying to figure out the damage for her department.”

“No way,” the Mercurian dismissed. “I would know.”

“I don’t think this is the kind of thing they alert the finance team on,” the Pyran scoffed. “It sounds like a bunch of batteries scattered. They had to search the woods for them all night.”

I flinched upwards, my head knocking against the underside of the counter.

“Batteries”. Mykie had told me the term was used to dehumanize people like Faeryn.

I thought for a moment my own bias might be misconstruing their conversation in my head.

I was hyper-fixated on my lost mate today, and was hearing what I wanted to hear.

That there was a chance, however small, she was free from wherever the fuck they had taken her.

I overheard talk from time-to-time about Faeryn’s species or the E.A.R.T.H.

program, but it was usually speculative and under the assumption the rumors weren’t true.

In the few instances the information did come from reputable sources, it was discussed vaguely.

When that happened, I found a way to get that individual’s information and reported them to Mykie to take care of.

Usually, they were already on her team’s radar and their days were numbered.

One less diseased cell spreading the virus through our world.

“That’s not good. Tesilvis Forest is dangerous. If they don’t catch them quickly, all their batteries are going to be meals to the local fauna.”

My palms threatened to burn, but I forced them into tranquility despite the rage beneath the surface.

I pulled my work notepad out of my pocket, clicked my pen quickly, and jotted down the strange word.

T-E-S-I-L-V-I-S. Never heard of it. Mykie had an abundance of top-secret knowledge, including “ off-grid ” locations.

There was a solid chance she would know.

“If they do escape it’s bad news for the program.

” The Pyran seemed amused, clearly unbothered by their wife’s difficult workday, or the horror of their mission, although that complicity was to be assumed.

The nonchalant humor was visibly irritating the program accountant, whose stakes must have been just high enough to care without tipping their discretion into silence in public.

The lowest-ranking staff in the program were always the talkers.

It was the wealthy ones that got their hands dirty who recognized the importance of silence.

“Not really,” the Mercurian said flatly. “They’re too brainwashed to rejoin society. The scientists created a whole conditioning routine as an insurance policy. Drugs, subliminal messaging, full force amnesia. It makes them easy to catch when they get loose.”

“Gross.” He didn’t sound that bothered.

“The last battery to make it back to civilization was fucking crazy. She ran away from her family when they tried to jog her memory about her life. Said she needed to go back to Earth—something about a woman’s voice telling her to go.

She made a whole scene in town, attracted a bunch of attention, and happily hopped in the car of a recruiter once they got there.

Literally told her own family she was scared of them and ran off.

“And don’t even get me started on the suicide rate of the defectors.

There’s a whole research team dedicated to fixing that problem.

The batteries keep taking themselves out before they can even be collected.

The higher-ups blame the drugs, but I think we all know it’s just a side effect of the situation. Shit, I’d do the same.”

“Imagine not being able to recognize your mate,” the Pyran mused. “I don’t think I could forget the female if I tried.”

“Those scientists are paid handsomely to make sure these batteries are sufficiently reprogrammed. You wouldn’t remember a damn thing other than what they want you to remember.

” I could hear the proverbial eye roll. “You’d be screaming in the streets for rescue or offing yourself just like every other freaked-out defector. ”

The world was spinning. I had always imagined reuniting with Faeryn would be beautiful.

I would hold her in my arms and never let her go.

I would inhale her scent, bury myself inside of her, and apologize for failing her every waking moment for the rest of my life.

She would know how much I loved her because I would never shut up about it.

She would never leave my sight again. I would wait on her hand and foot for the rest of her days.

Was picking up where we left off not an option?

I’d do whatever had to be done to avoid her recapture, there was no price I wouldn’t pay.

The idea of her taking her own life when she learned the truth…

anything but that. Anything . What was the alternative?

If she couldn’t remember me… couldn’t remember us , what then?

I just don’t tell her anything? I’d know her entire history; the reason she was taken in the first place was because I invited her to join my world and then failed to protect her from it.

The burden of her past would rest entirely on me.

I couldn’t rekindle our love knowing that, it wasn’t right.

I wouldn’t have her forgiveness, and she wouldn’t know how I’d failed her.

“How often does this happen?”

“How would I know? I just work in accounting, remember.”

The conversation died uncomfortably between them.

I continued fiddling under the counters, trying to make noise so I sounded busy.

I used my palm to try and reflect the glow of my emblem onto my skin, wishing I knew if I looked as upset as I felt.

I poked my teeth with my tongue and realized they’d become sharp but were fading back with each deep breath.

My claws were manually repressed by my clenched fist, which was itching to ignite.

I couldn’t let my temper ruin my rescue efforts again.

I was going to hold it together this time.

I took deep breaths, trying to remember the calming patterns Mykie had taught me.

What were they? For somebody who made bad choices as a hobby, she had impressively strong control over herself when necessary.

I envied that trait. I needed to be just calm enough to get these guys’ information so I could sign their death warrants—at least the Mercurian’s—and then I’d get to work finding Faeryn.

I rose to my feet once my emblem no longer reflected a yellow glow against my hand, hoping that meant I looked docile enough. Breathe in through the nose. Hold. Out through the mouth. I forced blankness into my expression and turned toward them.

“Boss is making us start tabs for everybody as part of a new system. Names?” My voice was deeper than normal, but they shouldn’t be able to notice.

“Yeah, sure. Warwick,” the Mercurian said.

“Last name?”

“Melbor.”

“And you?” I asked the Pyran.

“I’ll cover his tab,” Warwick interjected. Shit.

“No, you won’t,” the Pyran argued, and I was grateful. “Kylo Bastin.”

I wrote both down in my notebook. “Perfect.”

With that, I stormed into Theo’s office and made my exit through the back door of the building.

They would leave without paying once they realized I was gone and not returning, and that would be fine.

I’d pay Theo back. Maybe a significant sum of money if too many people learned the building was unlocked and unmanned for the rest of afternoon.

Every coin in my savings may be required to restock the shelves. It was worth the risk.

Running on adrenaline and hope, I let myself into Mykie’s house without bothering to knock. Unannounced in the home of a hitman, it was no surprise when I turned a corner to a knife pressing into my throat. For Mykie, this was as good as a handshake. A normal greeting.

“Fuck, Graysen,” she breathed out, lowering her weapon. “Knock next time. I could have killed you.”

“There was a security breach at one of the factories,” I spat out, my chest rising and falling rapidly.

I wasn’t sure if it was from running or the panic attack threatening to choke me.

For the first time in six years, I might have a genuine lead on finding my love.

Until now, I’d been sitting around, feeling useless, wondering where she was, if she was even alive.

Finally, I had something to work with. Something real. Something with a name.

“Was there?” Mykie blinked in surprise. “Tell me more.”

I thrust forward the open notebook. “That’s the name of the forest. The names below it are our informants. A Pyran married to an employee, and a Mercurian who works in their accounting department. They should still be at the pub if you hurry.” I pointed at the words as I spoke.

“Tesilvis,” she frowned.

“You know it.” It was an accusation, not a question. “Don’t hold out on me now, Mykie.” She could lose her job for oversharing, and I didn’t care.

My loyal friend nodded. “It’s North. The woods aren’t tamed; most don’t survive them. I’m surprised to hear there might be a facility there. Building and staffing aside, I don’t think sponsors would love making the journey to fund the operation. Are you sure that’s where they said the factory was?”

“Positive. And if there’s any chance she’s there, I’m going.”

“The woods aren’t safe, Graysen. Seriously. There’s a reason people aren’t supposed to know about them. It’s a living horror.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” I snarled at the suggestion that anything would cause me to hesitate. “Get me a map and tell me anything I need to know. I’m finding her and bringing her home.”

I just hoped if— when —I found her, those verdant green eyes would spark with recognition.