Page 31 of Finding Her (Lore of the Fields #1)

She’s been out for hours . I stared at the well-satiated female sleeping in front of my folded knees.

I hadn’t planned on touching her on this trip.

In fact, I hadn’t dared allow myself to consider the possibility of touching her anytime in the future.

It was a guaranteed way to excessively complicate an already devastating situation.

But when Faeryn had implied sexual exploration with other males, something had come over me.

My failing attempts to resist the pull towards her snapped.

My soul craved her more than anything in this world, or the next.

I wanted her to want me . I wanted her to want only me .

If I couldn’t tell her not to pursue others—which I couldn’t—I could at least remove her incentive to do so.

Selfish, yes, but I intended to be entirely selfless in my servicing.

I didn’t need anything in return. If I could have the honor of keeping her safe, happy, and pleasured, I would consider myself the luckiest male alive.

She would want for nothing within my tight grasp.

I had taken a walk once she was asleep to cool myself off—figuratively and literally.

My palms were becoming dangerously hot and threatened to burn a hole in my pockets.

Years ago, I had a normal amount of self-control over my flames, but that was no longer the case.

While concentrating on not burning her more delicate regions, I had accidentally let some of my predatory features emerge again, but she didn’t seem to be scared off.

Encouraged by her acceptance of my… alternative features after the water dragon encounter, I had dared to make a show of tasting her with my “ feral ” form’s tongue once it appeared.

That’s right, Pet, you don’t need to be afraid.

This monster can please you . Stay with your monster.

Hopefully, it would provide incentive for remaining loyal to my services when she was in need.

Monster and pet. What a suitably complicated pairing born from the biting words of my scared and confused female. I had once been deeply troubled by these perceptions, but now I could only see the potential. What a dangerous thought.

A thought for another time—or never, if I knew what was good for me.

I wouldn’t let this go beyond her release.

I was keeping too many secrets to feel justified taking her for my own selfish yearnings.

This would have to remain a one-sided vice.

I would fill the role of toy if it meant she didn’t go inquiring about “ What they say about waking up next to a Quadmos ” again.

Mykie had said she had grown aroused at the pub that night.

Was that because of that dumb, over-referenced stereotype?

Had it been Theo she had been thinking about?

I’d hate to have to kill one of my closest friends to avoid the competition, but surely, he would understand.

I hadn’t expected her to be so quick to explore sexuality after I found her. A part of me I wasn’t proud of yearned to never leave this island again, strictly so I could guarantee being the only focus of her desire. She couldn’t be mine, but I wasn’t sure I could live with her being anyone else’s.

Possessiveness aside, staying on Eitrea would be the perfect solution to my problems in general.

She would be safer here. But as I gazed down at her sleeping form, I knew that keeping her on the island against her will would just be another form of holding her captive.

After losing so much, she deserved to live as normal a life as was safely possible.

I could give that to her. It was my only true means of reconciliation.

I watched as Faeryn’s lids fluttered open, clearly dazed and taking in her environment.

My throat caught with apprehension; all this time to think, and I hadn’t once considered what I would say when she woke.

Should I leave it up to her to initiate?

Or was that too much pressure on someone who just woke from a post-orgasm nap?

“Hi, Graysen,” she mumbled, brushing her bouncy waves out of her face. Her hair dyed with my ash. My palms tingled at the thought.

“Did you sleep well?” A safe question, although I had to stifle the purr in my chest at the unspoken implication that her nap was my doing.

She laughed quietly and nuzzled her face into the furs, not successfully hiding her blush from me. “The best sleep I’ve had yet. I guess I have you to thank for that.”

I fought the urge to assure her I would be happy to continue evoking her wanton murmurs in the future.

She seemed, at least on the surface, to be content rather than regretful.

Now was not the time to push my luck. I needed to resume my true responsibility: establishing a feeling of trust. No matter how much I wanted to rip those just recently dried pants off her as a trophy, it was time to be a gentleman again.

It was cruel how much she made me want to abandon that cause.

“I imagine you’re quite hungry.” I gestured to the egg she removed from the backpack earlier in the day. I should have made her eat last night, but rest had taken priority. The fact that she had energy left to spend on me was impressive.

“Breakfast sounds lovely.” She smiled appreciatively, sitting up and hugging her knees to her chest.

Allowing my attention to fixate on providing her with sustenance, I fetched the pan and egg.

It would quadruple in size with heat, creating plenty of nutrition for us to share.

I used one hand to hold the cast iron above the flame and the other to crack the shell and let the yolk spill into the pan.

The contents sizzled and immediately began to puff up into a fluffy consistency.

I lived on these for many months of travel during my nomad days, and considered my technique near-perfected.

“So, what do you want to do today?” There were many hours left before starset, and I intended to continue dazzling her with the magic of the island.

Hopefully, she wouldn’t push for anything too intense.

Feeling her weakly quiver against me had only stirred my protective instincts into overdrive, especially after last night’s close call. I wouldn’t fail to protect her again.

“You said you would take me flying on a dragon.” She sounded hesitant, as if unsure she could still hold me to that promise. Understandably.

“Anything other than flying, by chance?” The idea of her being endangered by my own volunteered interests again was chilling. Would I be prioritizing my drive to show off and share a part of myself over her well-being?

She furrowed her brows at me. “I wouldn’t mind a walk on the beach.” She paused before sternly stating, “After we fly.”

My shoulders slumped in exasperation. “Fae, it’s just that I’m worried after yesterday.

These wild animals aren’t entirely predictable.

And when you’re a mile in the air, it’s difficult to recover from a mistake.

” Surely, she could understand why I was reconsidering at this point.

I carried the pan to the bag and retrieved some utensils.

“It’ll be okay,” she assured factually. “There are no territorial frisky water dragons in the sky.” She shimmied her shoulders with amusement at her own levity.

“That may be true, but there are other unpredictable factors to worry about.” I set the hot pan on my knee as a table and handed her a fork to dive in with me.

“To be honest, I don’t really want to worry,” she mused before shoving a bite between her full lips.

“Everything we’ve done that scared me at first has made me feel so alive .

My heart is pumping with adrenaline after waking from a lifetime’s worth of sleep.

It feels nice to experience freedom despite being trapped in a solution-less purgatory. ”

I cringed to hear her describe our time together as purgatory, but understood the sentiment.

I knew there was no way for me to understand how waking up nameless, storyless, and lost would feel.

Having power over the emotions she experienced now must be critical in her healing.

I couldn’t provide her answers, so I owed her at least some degree of compromise.

“Alright, my dear. If you’re insisting, I have one request.”

“What is it?” She beamed with victorious excitement.

“Leave us time to take that walk on the beach before we leave.” I always felt it was especially alluring during fall.

Her cheeks pressed up against her eyes in a smile. “We can make that happen.”

She made happy little noises while we ate, occasionally swaying her head in a sort of dance.

It was so easy to elicit a positive response from her.

She had every reason to mope on my couch and fall into hysteria over the hand given to her.

Yet here she was, staring up at the light filtering through speckled branches with gleeful eyes and a sense of adventure. How could I deny her anything?

“So.” She ran her dainty hand over the pelt beneath us. “Mr. Flight Instructor, what kind of dragon will we be flying?”

“I think I’ll leave that one up to you… within reason.” I wasn’t sure what would be an unsuitable choice, but I also hadn’t thought that swimming would pose issues.

“I’ll make an effort to keep my death wish down to a minimum,” she laughed, covering her mouth to conceal the fact it was mid-bite of food.