Page 58 of Finding Her (Lore of the Fields #1)

I made my way to pick up Faeryn, embroiled in the same mess of emotions I’d been processing all day.

I had no idea her nightmares were that intense.

I was aware that they were something she struggled with, but had managed to make it nearly two seasons without seeing the severity firsthand because she’d been sleeping on the fucking couch.

Denial probably played a part as well. I told myself she was getting better because I needed her to be better.

Those hopes crumbled when she had said “ of course ” she thinks about returning to “ Earth ”.

Mykie had told me once that Faeryn had awoken confused and terrified while under her watch.

She had tried to flee the house to find “ Earth ”.

When I returned from my errands to find my mate drugged into a deep sleep, I was…

upset, to say the least. My primal violence was only assuaged by how anxious Mykie was about it.

I seldom saw her without her armor of rage and indifference.

She’d insisted on having had no choice but to drug her, and that was something I didn’t truly understand until this morning.

Had Faeryn risen today without her wits about her, I may have considered the same option.

Should I be keeping sedatives on hand? I could discuss it with Faeryn, to make sure we had an action plan if these night terrors proved dangerous again.

I feared I wouldn’t have the strength to do what had to be done without her consent; it was fortunate Mykie had been the one there that day.

The thought of what could have happened to Faeryn if she’d succeeded in leaving the house in search of those vile woods…

Distracted and motivated by the grim reality check, I made it to the pub in record time. The building was fairly empty, not surprising considering the new bar down the street.

“Graysen!” Faeryn beamed, sliding out from behind the bar and throwing her arms around my neck in a hug.

I enjoyed her increasingly public displays of affection; they signaled to everybody that we belonged to each other.

Maybe I could dissuade her from such frequent baths in the future, allowing our scents to mingle for longer periods of time.

When we weren’t physically together, the bar patrons would still be able to smell that she was claimed.

Although grooming was a priority amongst our civilization, soaking in soap and water was hardly a daily ritual.

You could usually scent who was and wasn’t mated, and I wanted that for us.

A warning to anyone whose intentions weren’t pure.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, helping her wrap the scarf she had borrowed from me around her beautifully ribboned neck.

“I’m fine,” she laughed with exasperation. “Excited to get home and cozy up.”

“Leaving already?” Mitus’s nasally voice accused. “I thought you’d stay later since you took that long break earlier.” Faeryn stiffened. I wasn’t used to seeing her annoyed with other people.

“Just because I don’t normally take my break doesn’t mean I have to work late when I do,” she sneered, grabbing my hand and tugging me behind her towards the door.

Long break? So Faeryn wasn’t feeling okay? I should have insisted on taking her shift today. She needed rest.

“Next time, maybe don’t disappear without telling anyone how long you’ll be gone!” Mitus heckled as we exited the building, always determined to get the last word in.

Disappear ? My muscles became rigid with concern.

I’d worked hard to establish a safe network of locations for my Little Fae and always ensured she had an escort.

Mykie was with me at the house this afternoon, so she wasn’t anywhere related to either of us.

My heart rate increased as every other unscreened person and destination became a potential threat.

“Where were you today?” The words snapped out more aggressively than I intended. The surprised expression on her face made me realize she was mid-sentence. I hadn’t even noticed she was talking.

“Excuse me?” She smiled with affront. “I was at work.”

“You don’t normally take a break.” I tried to reel my panic in. She was here with me, everything was fine.

If she was exploring on her breaks, I needed additional protective measures.

I could wait outside the building. Inconvenient, yes, but an option.

I always had Mykie watching the house in my absence, why hadn’t I applied that to the pub?

I was becoming careless. That would need to change.

She was trusting me to take care of her.

I decided from that moment on, I would station myself outside the perimeter of the pub while she worked, monitoring.

“Is something wrong?” Her eyes peered accusingly at me through their corners, challenging me to dare make a fuss about this.

“I’m just curious what you enjoyed doing during your downtime.” I tried to sound passive, disinterested. That was likely telling. I was always interested.

She lifted her nose proudly. “I went ice skating with a friend.”

My cool melted into a puddle of boiling water.

I wanted Faeryn to have friends more than anything, but I wanted her to have the right friends.

Most critically, I needed to prevent her from having the wrong friends.

Mykie could scout anybody, but I couldn’t put her on the job if Faeryn wasn’t keeping me in the loop on who she was forming connections with.

I couldn’t believe she would be na?ve enough to go off with somebody she just met.

“Is that a problem?” she asked sternly.

“What’s their name?” Deep breaths. Take deep breaths . My claws began to prick into my palms, and I tightened my fist to suppress them. This wasn’t a crisis. It could have been, but everything was fine. She was at my side.

Faeryn scoffed. “I’m not telling you if you’re going to act like that.”

“Act like what?” Did my voice sound as strained as it felt? I was teetering on the edge; I had no sense of how much I’d changed physically. Were my eyes their calm color?

“Like I’m cheating on you by hanging out with another guy!”

Did she really think this was about concerns of infidelity ?

Although generally territorial over my precious mate, I would never assume that of her.

How insulting. I was plenty capable of keeping her satisfied within the walls of our home, she would never need to seek outside affections.

On my long list of worries, affairs were at the bottom.

“I’m sorry I gave that impression.” My emotions were going south; I needed to reroute this conversation and try again later. “Why don’t you tell me something else about your day?”

I made it through dinner without interrogating Faeryn further, a feat worthy of praise.

I instead brought up as many non-work-related topics as possible: books she was reading, plans for once the weather improved, her card game skill improvements, meal plans for the week.

She slowly warmed back up to me and was chattering enthusiastically by the time there were only scraps left on our plates.

She had made her way to our bedroom shortly after eating and began her evening routine of reading in the armchair before bed.

Every time she ascended those stairs to simply spend time in our room, my heart sang.

It was an act of claiming the space as her own.

I hoped that meant she would stay in the bedroom even if I ruffled some feathers tonight, although I was prepared to sleep on the couch if I had to.

I always made sure the fire was lit ahead of her reading time and prepared her a special drink to savor during her relaxation.

Then, I made myself scarce for at least an hour so that she could enjoy some autonomy.

By the time I returned, she had changed into her version of pajamas: a baggy, wide-necked cotton shirt and her panties.

Her curved legs were draped over the arm of the chair, with her current book propped on top of her thighs.

The orange glow of the fire danced against one cheek, casting the other in shadows.

Her thick gray hair was piled to the side of her face with a wisp curling into her temple.

My mate was beautiful, serene, and comfortable.

I would do my best not to ruin that with my calculated probing.

“Good timing, I just finished my chapter,” she stated, closing her book and setting it onto the side table next to her empty cup of tea.

“How was it? Did you make much progress?” I was relieved her tone was normal; my efforts to reset the mood seemed successful so far.

She cupped her jaw and frowned. “Not as much as usual. I couldn’t seem to focus tonight.” I nodded, trying to hide my pleasure that she’d brought up an easy transition for me.

“You must be tired after your big outing today,” I said calmly.

She raised a suspicious brow. “I also didn’t sleep very well last night.”

I turned my back to her and pretended to mess with the bedding, hoping that concealing my expression would aid me in appearing innocuous.

“I was surprised you wanted to go exploring, given how exhausting of a morning you had.” Faeryn loved to chat, surely if I kept us on topic, details would start spilling out without needing to prod.

Two hands pressed against my back and traced their way up to my shoulders. “I’m not going to tell you his name,” she whispered in my ear, then nibbled gently at it.

“You’re so difficult,” I groaned, turning to her with my head hanging to the side in exasperation. “I don’t want to kill the guy. I’m only curious.”

“Nosy is what you are,” she laughed, playfully shoving my chest so I obediently sat on the edge of the bed. “Let’s go to sleep. It’s been a long day.” She bent down to crawl past me.