Page 61 of Finding Her (Lore of the Fields #1)

“Still nothing?” I grumbled, leaning against the brick wall of my home while Mykie took another drag from her smoke.

The first day of summer was comfortably warm, although the humidity was thick and the ground drenched from the rapidly melting snow.

The sudden moisture soaking into the planet had a way of bringing out its more naturally musky scents.

Strong notes of dirt and grass drifted through the gentle breeze.

The view from our back deck was chaotic.

With the garden no longer hidden under a blanket of ice, I could clearly see the damage Faeryn and I would be managing over the next week.

It was a priority of mine to get the honeysuckle bush in better shape this year so I could make her more of the tea she enjoyed.

“I’m telling you, nobody knows a Cassius,” Mykie sighed. “I can only interrogate so many people before it starts to raise suspicions.”

Faeryn never told me the mystery male’s name.

She still chalked my insistence up to immature jealousy, but that didn’t matter.

She did tell Ragen at the pond that day, not appreciating his loyalties to Mykie and Mykie’s loyalties to me.

Her secret was in vain. I tried to appreciate that she confided in someone , even if it wasn’t me.

By now, it had become a matter of principle for her, and every time I brought it up, I lost.

Ragen described a traditionally handsome Mercurian, although he was unsure of their plasma hue due to heavy winter clothing.

His skin was described as light. He had well-maintained facial hair.

He wore a tan jacket with a red scarf and black gloves; a polished look.

Nobody I knew, or had met since, matched those attributes.

I wanted to move on from this, but I needed more information. It didn’t help that the more I investigated, the more concerning the situation became. Nobody knew this man. He had somehow avoided detection from every coworker I had at the pub, and workers on the school site hadn’t heard of him.

“Maybe I should tell Faeryn how strange this is.” I snapped my fingers against my palm in agitation. “If she knows he might be unsafe, she might tell us more about him.”

“Maybe.” Mykie stared out at my Silvates running around in the grass, mud spraying out from under their hooves.

“How do you think she would react to learning you’ve been investigating the one person she explicitly doesn’t want to talk to you about?

Not only have you been investigating them, but you’ve involved a team of hitmen to interrogate anybody associated with her friend. ”

I rolled my eyes. “I wouldn’t tell her about the hitmen part, Mykie.

You know that.” The least I could do was keep Mykie’s secrets.

She had been very generous in sharing her professional skillset over the last several years—now more than ever, as threats needed to be detected quickly and neutralized.

“You’ve been talking about filling her in on your history a lot more. Do you think she’s ready for all of it? It’s risky. You know what could happen to her.”

“It’s risky not telling her,” I grumbled. “Do you have any clue how hard it is sleeping next to Faeryn every night, knowing what I know? She’s come so much farther than I thought she could. Maybe it’s safer for her to understand.”

“How are the nightmares?”

My lips pursed in discontent. Now that Faeryn and I shared a bed, I was painfully aware of how haunted she was when her eyes closed.

Every few days, I would have to pin her down and wait for her to settle back into reality.

I thought they may improve with time, but they hadn’t.

The dreams were cruel, routine reminders that her body remained on the brink of fight or flight.

I hated thinking she’d been dealing with this alone on the couch for weeks.

“You need to be certain she won’t run, Graysen. Or worse .”

“I know.” It wasn’t hard to talk me out of spilling my guts to Faeryn. She might run as others had. She might end up dead as others had. I needed to be certain those possibilities were off the table before I pulled her world out from underneath her.

Fucking E.A.R.T.H .

“Theo’s letting you work shifts with her now?” Mykie changed the subject, holding her joint up for me to re-light with my irritated palm. She was lucky my flames didn’t blow up in her face; they were threatening to become unmanageable.

“He said he’s going to be gone a long time.” I shrugged. “Figured it would be cruel to micromanage us in his absence.”

“How long is a long time?”

I squinted up at the periwinkle sky. “He didn’t know. Something’s been strange since he returned from his last adventure.”

Theo had come back earlier than anticipated from his winter trek, explaining the elements hadn’t been kind to him.

That seemed to be an understatement, considering the noticeable limp he was only now shaking off.

Despite the injury, it hadn’t been a full day’s star cycle before he announced plans to take another trip on the first day of the new year’s summer.

Unexpected, considering how busy that day would be for business.

He’d also been spending more time in his office than ever, scribbling into a notebook I’d never seen and reading books on topics I wasn’t aware he had interests in: Agriculture, Carpentry, Folklore.

These things were harmless. The new curiosity that wasn't harmless?

Faeryn—a conversation he had thankfully not attempted to revisit.

At least whatever had him so distracted was enough for him to abandon his efforts to keep me away from my mate at work. It was a welcome change in routine and would make protecting her that much easier while her new friendship was still an unknown threat.

“I guess we aren’t cornering the market on secrets.” Mykie slapped a hand on my back. “I need to go do some daytime digging before my night shift.”

“Thanks Mykie, I know I can never repay you for all of this. But if there’s anything I can do—” I swallowed the guilty lump in my throat.

The bags under Mykie’s eyes were dense and deep.

I knew the stress of watching Faeryn and staying informed was weighing on her, impacting her sleep.

She held my reason for living in her hands, and she felt every ounce of that responsibility.

I hadn’t seen my friend so deep in the throes of her vices in years.

If I could control everything on my own, I would, but I owed it to Faeryn to utilize every resource available to keep her safe.

I would burn the world down with everything I loved in it if it meant she would survive to stand in the ashes with me.

“It’s my job, Graysen. Don’t sweat it.”

Faeryn ran rampant around the bar, pouring drinks as quickly as her trembling hands could manage.

The building roared with conversation and drunken laughter, clanks and thuds accompanying the cacophony of voices.

The first of Premier Summer was always the busiest day of the year, and I was grateful Theo was paying to have all hands on deck.

Stella had done this several times before, but it was Faeryn and Mitus’s first time experiencing the onslaught of warm-weather celebrators.

Whatever Theo had left for must’ve been important, he usually put his four arms to good use during the Turn of Stars holiday.

“I think it’s slowing down!” Mitus shouted across the room.

“If you say so,” I dismissively called back over the noise.

My friendly facade had long since worn off, abandoned in exchange for efficiency.

I was putting myself to the test, trying to keep the pressure off Faeryn.

Normally, I didn’t care if people had to wait a little longer for service, but she was clearly rattled.

Nobody was here for bartender small talk today anyway; a little curtness would go unnoticed.

The stress of the holiday was compounded by my hyperawareness of every being who entered the pub.

I was looking for a conventionally attractive, well-maintained Mercurian with light hair and a beard.

If there was any day for him to show up, it was today.

Everybody was here. If I didn’t see him today, I’d have to assume he was officially avoiding me.

I was constantly fighting the burning itch in my palms as my mind roiled over what I would do when faced with the person I suspected to be a threat to my mate.

After so many sleepless nights of worrying, I wasn’t in the mood to play nice.

“I’m going to run this refill to booth seven, can you handle the bar in the meantime?” Faeryn asked as she squeezed past me, a sloshing pitcher of amber fizzing over the rim onto her hand.

“Of course,” I nodded, heavily considering telling her to go home. I’d be making sure her reading beverage this evening had some strength to it. Hell, I’d be massaging her feet, heating her bath, and doing whatever had to be done to assist with recovery after today.

In tune with her always, I watched intensely as she approached the booth with a single Arielna stretched across the length of the leather bench.

The middle-aged man was a regular amongst the drunk and disorderly, although generally harmless.

Tonight, he had been taking up too much space and loudly bothering other patrons all night, pushing the envelope of what disturbances would be removal-worthy.

I considered cutting him off and sending him home several drinks ago, but I didn’t.

An obvious mistake, as Faeryn was now taking it upon herself to tend to him.

Faeryn poured into his glass. “This is your last one.” I could faintly hear her increased volume over the crowd. “Then you need to sober up.” A surge of shame rushed through my veins. She was doing what I should have done an hour ago.

Flames burst inside of my chest when his scaly hand grabbed her wrist and yanked her down to his eye level. “Want to get out of here and do something fun?” His obnoxiously loud slurs announced his disrespect to the entire room.

I was already on my way as she forcefully yanked her arm back to her. “We don’t touch the bartender. You know this.” She was stern, but gentle. Too gentle.

It made me furious to think of how many times Faeryn had professionally set boundaries while Theo stood to the side, trusting her to handle it.

Sure, he would check if she was alright and step in if needed, but she should never have to ask somebody else to get involved.

Any disrespect to my female should be automatically punished without her having the weight of the decision on her conscience.

The fact that she had to live in a world where anyone could make her feel uncomfortable or unsafe was deplorable.

The line between unintentional harassment and full endangerment didn’t matter to me now, I was in guardian mode. Tolerance was low.

“I’m sorry, you’re just so beautiful.” The cold-blooded drunk smiled. “What do you like to do? I’d love to spend the night going—”

“I’m not looking for anything.” She dodged another attempt to grab her arm.

“You’re always so kind to me. Has anyone ever told you your eyes are sooooo bright…” His hands continued fumbling for her.

I strained to contain my claws and wrapped a safe, soft fingered hand over her shoulder, gently pulling her back to trade places with myself.

“The lady asked you not to touch her,” I snarled, unable to avoid my lip curling over sharpening teeth.

“Graysen, it’s fine.” Faeryn pulled at my forearm to drag me away from the male.

“I wasn’t trying to touch her,” he sputtered in surprise. “I was just asking her if she’d like to—”

“ She’s mine ,” I bit. “ And if you ever lay a hand on her again I’ll kill you. Stay the fuck away from Faeryn. ”

The primal itch in my brain begged me to become feral.

Her arm would smell like his dirty hands.

I needed to replace it with my own scent as soon as possible.

I needed to rip my teeth into him and use his flesh to fuel me so I could be stronger, a better protector.

I needed to set an example to any other male who thought for even a moment they could encroach on my territory.

Make my female uncomfortable. Have “ a night ” with my mated partner.

If Cassius was watching from nearby, maybe he would think twice before testing my mercy.

“I’m going back to the bar. Don’t leave me alone to handle it without you,” Faeryn glared. I was nearly in shock. Her aggression should be directed at the male who pawed at her, not me .

“I’m sorry,” the insolent male croaked, his dull scales creasing in insufficient regret.

“Don’t apologize. Just drink some water and eat some food. You don’t want to drink yourself to death, do you?” Her voice was aggravatingly sweet—nearly apologetic .

I loomed over the male for a moment, seeing red.

I wasn’t myself. All the tension I had been harboring had finally found a physical target.

He represented all that endangered our happiness.

If I could handle revenge here, on him, our trouble would go away.

He was the first breathing threat I could truly neutralize.

Maybe he was Cassius. He wasn’t the correct species and didn’t match the description at all, but maybe Ragen reported incorrectly.

I could handle this now, and my precious Faeryn would be safe.

“Stella!” Faeryn called. “I need you to take Mr. Donnar home!”

The faint clicking of Stella’s heels approached. She shoved past my rigid body, taking the man’s hands and assisting him to his feet. “Overdo it again, Mr. Donnar? Let’s get you home,” she cooed gently, shooting me a look that said “ get it together ” before helping him stumble out the door.

“Fuck, Graysen,” Faeryn snapped at me. “You know he’d never hurt anyone. He was just caught up in the excitement of the day.”

Before I could collect myself enough to reply, she stomped off and resumed her management of the rush.

I stood dumbly for only a moment, long enough to remember her biggest threat for the time being was having a bad day, before resuming my rounds by her side.

Coming back into a state of personhood from my feral rage was disorienting, like waking up intoxicated in the middle of the night.

I knew where I was and how I had gotten there, but everything felt wrong.

I tried to make myself useful despite the fog in my head.

I was in the modern world. The modern world required…

different solutions than generalized violence.

My instincts screamed otherwise, but I drowned them out with as much reason as I could muster.