Page 73 of Finding Grey

THIRTY-SEVEN

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DANTE

I’d known something was going on. The way Roger looked at Sean when we first approached the table had made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Then, when I’d glanced back over my shoulder, I’d seen the look Sean gave Roger in return.

I might have dismissed the tension, believing it to be left over from their previous meetings—if I hadn’t seen the way they interacted when Roger first arrived. Sean had been pissed at Roger, but the wounds were old, and a lot had changed in the years since. Roger had resented Sean’s reappearance in my life, but again, it had been in proportion to the situation. I’d noticed Sean going to added lengths to avoid my father in the past few days and I’d wondered why. Today it was clear, something had changed.

The undercurrent of animosity had continued throughout the short breakfast, though they both attempted to keep it to themselves. I’d been tempted to demand they tell me what was going on, but I’d held my tongue. I wasn’t sure I trusted either of them to tell me the truth. The thought itself tore at my insides. These two men were the only people in the world I had ever put my faith in, and they were keeping something from me.

Pretending ignorance had been easy enough. They’d been too busy glaring daggers at each other to take any notice of me. When I’d stood to clear the dishes, it had been nothing more than an excuse to leave them alone together. They wouldn’t be able to avoid talking about whatever clouded the air between them in my absence. I’d counted on it.

That’s why I’d dumped the dishes as soon as I reached the kitchen and returned to stand against the wall near the patio doors. I wasn’t proud of my actions. But, given this was the only way I could be sure of learning the truth, eavesdropping had seemed a necessary evil. A part of me hoped my suspicions would prove false, and they would argue about those old wounds, maybe find a way to put the past behind them for my sake. But when I heard Roger mention Sean’s father, I knew that wasn’t going to be the case. Everything I heard after that, only made it worse.

When I heard Sean say he would do anything, including lie, to protect me, I decided I’d heard enough.

I clapped as I walked back out to the patio. It hid the trembling in my limbs and alerted them to my presence without me having to scream at them. “How lovely the two of you are getting along so well now you’ve come to an agreement. You’re both going to betray me. That’s fucking great.” The shock on their faces would have been funny if it wasn’t breaking my heart.

“Dante.” Sean rose and rushed towards me, but I held my hands up to ward him off. “Don’t.” His hands curled into fists, but he backed away, his face the very picture of devastation. I wasn’t sure what he had to be devastated about. He’d chosen to betray me, not the other way around.

Crossing my arms, I faced Roger. “Sean gave a pretty succinct list of your sins. But I’d still like to know who you were planning to say Phil assaulted. Was it me?” He didn’t respond, and I knew my suspicions were correct. “I figured. Who else would you cast in the role of victim.” I couldn’t stop the fury from spewing out of me then. “The only person who ever laid a violent hand on me was you,” I shouted.

“I kept you in line, boy,” he argued. “You needed the discipline.”

“And you needed the punching bag.” My body shook as I glared at Roger. “What kind of a fucking monster are you, to do that to Phil? Or to me?”

“Dante.” Sean’s voice was quiet beside me, his hand a gentle pressure on my arm. “You need to calm down.”

“And you.” I turned on him, yanking away from his touch. “I gave you my trust. After you lied to me and hid from me. I gave it to you anyway, because I wanted so desperately to believe in you. And now you’re lying to me all over again. Only it’s worse because you’re colluding with him.” I jabbed a finger in Roger’s direction. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, his face blank as he watched my tirade. His silence only made me angrier. I wanted to launch myself at him. I wanted him to hit me again, so I’d have an excuse to hit him back. This man who had given me everything he wanted with one hand, all the while taking everything I wanted away with the other.

I hated him, now. Finally. It was almost a relief.

“You knew Sean’s name from the start.” There was barely anything left of my voice. There was barely anything left of me. “You watched me suffer, year after year, and you didn’t say anything.”

“Dante.” He held up a placating hand, as if I was still that same child he could order around. “I pro—”

“Don’t say it.” I shook my head, backing away from him. “If one more person claims to be protecting me…” I turned to face Sean. He’d claimed to be protecting me too, just like Roger. “I’m done,” I told him. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Sean’s eyes widened, his head shaking in denial. “No, don’t say that,” he whispered. “We can work this out.”

He reached for me again, but I evaded his hands. Storming through the house, I grabbed the keys for the guest car and headed for the front door. I had to get away from both of them.

* * *

Phil found me sitting on the wooden bench on his front verandah. I had no idea how long I’d been there. A half hour maybe? I hadn’t known where else to go and I kept thinking about what Roger had done to Phil. But once I reached the house, I found myself unable to knock on the door. What did you say to the man whose career was cut short because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself?

He didn’t say anything at first, though the aged wood creaked as he sat beside me. “How’s things?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Letting out a bitter laugh, I sat up straight. “Fucked up.” I turned my head to look at him. “I’m sorry for what Roger did to you,” I told him. “Threatening you and all. I didn’t know anything about it.”

“Never thought you did.” He kept his gaze on the front yard as he spoke. “I was angry at Roger for a long time, I’ll admit that. But time passed and eventually I had to let it go. And everything worked out in the end.” He smiled. “Life is good now.”

My eyebrows raised. “You had a heart attack.”

He let out a loud groan. “Blimey! What is it with you kids trying to claim responsibility for my heart attack?” Shaking his head, he leaned forward over his knees. “As important as you and Sean are to the fabric of the universe, I’m pretty sure the amount of fast food I sucked down on the road had more to do with it. For all I know, if I’d kept performing, I could have had that heart attack on the road. I could have not made it to the hospital in time. Maybe it would have killed me. Think about that.” I got the impression he’d spent more than enough time thinking about it for the both of us. “I’m alive. I have my family and I’m still working. That’s enough to keep me happy. What the bloody hell else would I need?” He wore the grin of a satisfied man and I couldn’t help but smile in return.

There were a few more minutes of silence before he spoke again. “Sean told you?”