Page 62 of Finding Grey
His smile faltered. “Wait, we’d have separate rooms?”
“Only for show,” I assured him. “I don’t want to be apart from you any more than I have to.”
The air between us grew thick with understanding and Sean pulled away, his body stiff. “What you’re saying is, you want me to work for you, while fucking you on the side, in secret.”
I cupped his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “You won’t be working for me. You’ll be working for Roger’s label, same as I do. And as for fucking in secret,” I shook my head, “it’s no one else’s business what we do in our own time.”
“I agree,” he said as he nodded. “So, why hide it?”
“You know why.” He retreated further, and my shoulders sagged under the weight of his disappointment.
“Because having a man in your bed would mess with your rock star reputation?”
“I need to maintain the facade, Sean. It’s the only way for me to survive in this business.”
Turning away, he pulled on a pair of pants before standing to face me again. “It’s perfectly okay for people to believe you’re an arrogant, drug-addicted, womanising narcissist,” he drawled, sarcasm dripping from his words, “but if they discovered you like guys, that would be a disaster? Do you have any idea how fucked up that sounds?”
“We’ve been together all of two hours, Sean. Forgive me if I’m not ready to redefine my entire life by announcing to the world I have a boyfriend.” I had no doubt such revelations had always been simple for him, with only his family and friends to pay attention. Obscurity provided a level of protection not afforded to those who lived in the spotlight.
“If I revealed our relationship to the world a media shit storm would descend on us the likes of which you’ve never had to deal with. We would be hounded every time we went outside for months. Total strangers would speculate on our sex life and spout half-baked opinions about our motives. You’d be the gold digger who’s using me. Or I’d be faking a sudden bout of gayness because I’m desperate to get back in the headlines.” Entertainment websites and message boards the world over would come to life with fatuous love, vicious attacks, and all the variations between. “Why would I want to put us through that?”
Sean’s brows had drawn into a deep frown during my rant, but at the same time, the corners of his mouth kicked up. “Did you call me your boyfriend?” he asked when I finally ran out of steam.
I shook my head in confusion before releasing a baffled laugh. “That’s the part you heard?” Standing, I reached out to wrap a hand around the back of his neck. “I did tell you I’m not letting you get away from me again. After everything we’ve gone through to get here, if you want to get rid of me now, youwillhave to beat me off with a stick.”
He closed the distance between us, but even as he slid his arms around me, the frown still furrowed his brow and tension kept his body tight. “No beatings are being planned at this stage.”
“That’s good to know, but I would like some time to learn who we are together, before the world starts trying to force their opinions on us. Am I making any sense?”
Sean stood there, silent and rigid for so long, I thought he would refuse to answer. Then, at last, he nodded. “I get where you’re coming from, though I don’t necessarily agree. I’m not sure why I should give a fuck what the world thinks of me, but then the world has never paid me much attention.”
Threading my fingers through his hair, I leaned in to him. He didn’t soften against me, but nor did he pull away. “Does this mean you’ll come on tour with me?”
“I’ll think about it.” His cheeks hollowed as he met my gaze. “I’ve never pretended to be someone I’m not, and I’m not about to start. But if you want to keep our relationship quiet for now, I can do that.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”