Page 41 of Finding Grey
“When I saw your eyes the night I arrived here I thought, for an instant, I thought it was you.” His body twitched, as if he had to restrain himself from reaching for me. “But you said we’d never met and so I knew I had to be wrong, because Grey would never lie to me.” A harsh laugh escaped as his words crashed into our contradictory reality. “I’m going to be so pissed at you tomorrow.”
I shook my head in confusion. “You’re not pissed at me now?”
“Not yet,” he said, despite the glare marring his features. “Not when I’ve only just found you.” His hands lifted to cup the back of my neck, thumbs sliding under my chin, so he could force me to meet his gaze. “Sean,” he whispered. “Your name is Sean.”
My heart pounded at the way he said my name. There were no sexual overtones this time, only relief, as if he’d solved the mystery of a lifetime.
His dark eyes roamed over my face, lingered on my lips. “Have you ever kissed a boy, Sean?” he whispered, teasing me, seducing me.
Breathing heavily, I gave him a slow nod.
The smile that came to his lips was devoid of its usual arrogance and pretence. “Do you want to try it again?”
Only if the boy is you.The words were on the tip of my tongue. If I said them, we would have the chance to pick up where we left off. See where our first kiss could have led, if we’d had the opportunity to follow our instincts. But I wasn’t a fifteen-year-old boy anymore, and whatever Dante saw when he looked at me now, I was pretty sure it wasn’t the man I’d become. We’d spent all this time entangling ourselves in a fantasy, and as beautiful and nostalgic as it was, it had no chance of survival in the real world. A world where I was an openly gay man—and Dante wasn’t. He’d already cast me aside for a woman once. In time, he would do it again.
I reached up to pull his hands away from my face. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”
Dante’s gaze clouded in confusion, as if he couldn’t understand why I’d changed the script. “Why not?”
“Because you’re a straight man, Dante. You’ve always been straight.”
“Have I?” he said with a derisive snort. “Because I’m feeling pretty bent right about now.”
“That’s the face you show the world,” I reminded him. “Are you planning to change? Tell everyone you’re bi?” Straightening his spine, he took a step back. Cool air rushed in to fill the space he’d made between us. “Yeah,” I muttered. “That’s what I figured.”
Anger sparked in his eyes. “Then why did you tell me?”
I took a deep breath before I responded. “Because you deserve to know.”
The shocked silence was broken when laughter burst from his chest. “I deserve to know?” He doubled over as the hilarity of my statement washed over him. “Now, I deserve to know? Not three weeks ago, only now.”
My jaw clenched, and I bent down to collect the empty wine bottle and glasses from the table beside us. “We should talk about this in the morning, when we’ve both sobered up.”
Dante followed close on my heels as I made my way back into the house. “I’d like to talk about it now.”
I put the glasses in the kitchen sink and dumped the bottle into the recycling bin. “You’re drunk now,” I pointed out, “and you said you wouldn’t be angry at me until tomorrow.”
“I’m not that drunk, neither are you,” he countered. “And I’ve changed my mind. I’m angry now.”
“Good night, Dante,” I said as I passed him again on my way back out the door.
“What did you think would happen here, Sean?” he growled as he followed me past the pool and through the gate to my flat. “Did you expect me to fall at your feet and beg you to love me? You fucking lied to me.”
“I didn’t have any expectations.” Yanking the door open, I went inside and flicked on a light before turning to face him. “But after what happened here last week, I had to tell you the truth.”
The teasing smirk came back to his lips, but it held an animosity that hadn’t been there before. “You mean when I touched you?” He stepped closer, his hands lifting to cup my face. “When I kissed you?” His weight shifted back and forth as he edged closer until our bodies almost touched. “You had to know what this would do to me, finding out the truth. The boy I longed for and the man I’ve come to crave, one and the same. How could I possibly resist?”
“That’s not what this is about,” I insisted, taking hold of his wrists. “I’m not trying to seduce you.”
“Why not?” he asked, his breath warm on my face. “I tried to seduce you.”
“Because you’re curious, right?” I scoffed. “After all these years of not knowing, after the many women you’ve had, you want to finally know what it’s like to be with a man.”
“You’re damned right, I do,” he growled, a fierce intensity in his eyes. “But only if the man is you.”