Page 40 of Fighting for Her Heart

“While the blood of any descendant of Gullveig hassomeof the powers of the Illuminant,” Nora answers. “Only the one true Illuminant can create lambent vampires—and perhaps become one.”

My gaze snaps toward mom. “Become one?”

She nods. “While I don’t think the Illuminant has ever become a vampire before, Zuben and I have been discussing whether or not it’s possible that, after you make enough lambent vampires, that you might become one.”

“This is pure speculation,” Zuben adds. “We have no evidence.”

My heart fills with hope and happiness as I imagine a future where the four of us can be together, forever, moving about the world freely, night or day.

But…I close my eyes against the insecurities creeping in. Once the men become lambent they’ll no longer need me.

Chapter Fourteen

Zuben

Axel putsanother log on the fire, then sits back on the rock next to mine. Ryker is seated on the ground, leaning back against another stone, one of his legs bent and his arms hooked behind his head.

Both men look so relaxed, so at ease.

A fresh insight fills me.

“What’s going on?” Axel asks, looking at me quizzically.

I tip my head. “I am sitting in front of a campfire with you and Ryker, waiting for Ember and Evanora to return from tonight’s magic training.”

“D’uh.” Ryker shakes his head, and then switches which of his legs is extended.

I turn my attention back toward Axel. “I apologize for my flippant answer, but why did you ask me that question?”

“Your expression,” he says. “It changed like you’d thought of something.”

I nod, still amazed at how easily the hybrid shifter recognizes the feelings of others—especially mine that are buried so deeply—and also that he cares enough to inquire when he detects a change in my mood.

“I…” Expressing emotions is beyond foreign to me. “This might sound foolish, but I realized that I am very relaxed tonight. Content in fact. And this is something I have not felt for a very, very long time.”

Smiling softly, Axel nods. “Life’s pretty great right now, isn’t it?” He looks up at the sky. “The air smells like snow and I’m looking forward to hibernating in that farmhouse with you guys all winter.”

I smile back. We’ve been at this farm for over a month now and it’s hard to imagine a life I’d enjoy more than this one. The only thing I could imagine improving our situation would be if my relationship with Ember were on an equal playing field with those of the other two men. But it is fruitless to wish for things that can never happen.

“I know I was eager to leave when we first arrived,” I tell the men, “but I have become very content here.”

“You’re not nervous about feeding from Ember tonight?” Axel asks.

“I am not nervous about thefeeding,per se.” Staring back into the fire, I clench my fists, my fingernails digging into my palms.

So much for relaxing.

“Buddy.” Ryker pushes up to sit on the rock that’s behind him, and then leans toward me. “It’s high time you work on your sex issues. Want to talk it out?”

“We can do whatever you need to help you get through this,” Axe adds.

“I got you those toys,” Ryker says. “Weeks ago.”

I raise my chin. “Are neither of you willing to have sexual relations with Ember tonight after I feed?”

Ryker slaps his knee, and then directs his finger toward me. “That’s not the fucking point and you know it.”

Nodding, I turn my attention back to the fire to hide my reaction, because it seems as if Ryker, too, can somehow understand me at least as well as I understand myself—perhaps better. Plus, he is willing to confront my shortcomings far more than I’ve ever been willing to face them myself.