Page 125 of Fall of a Kingdom

“Are you angry with me?”

“Yes.”

I nodded. “I can live with that.”

The nannies had packed up the boys and Piper into the massive Suburban. Angus was waiting to chauffeur us home.

I fiddled with the collar of my coat and stared out the window of the den. The rain had abated, but everything looked gray. The sky. The brick walkway leading out front. Life.

“Are you going to stay here?” I asked Quinn.

“Yes.” Quinn cleared her throat. “Neither of us feel like being alone right now.”

I needed to be alone. Desperately.

I gave Quinn a side hug because Helena was on her hip, and then I cradled the crown of Helena’s head. I brushed my lips across her forehead and closed my eyes.

I wondered if Quinn and Sasha would have more children.

“I love you,” Ash said, jarring me out of my wayward thoughts. “You know that, right?”

“Of course, I know that,” I said.

“I…” She sighed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Right now, all you have to do is say goodbye and let me walk out the door. There will be plenty of time later to talk.”

“What if you don’t come back?” Ash asked quietly. “What if this is the last time we see you? What if something unexpected happens?”

“If that’s what happens, then tell Flynn I love him.”

“Barrett,” Ash whispered, her voice strained.

“I can’t, Ash. I can’t be strong for you right now. As much as I want to. I have to be strong for myself.”

My gaze darted from her to Quinn.

For all intents and purposes, they were my sisters. God-willing, they would be there to see my children grow long after I was gone. They would be there to help Flynn figure out how to live a life without me.

“I’m getting maudlin,” I commented. “I need to get the hell out of here before I start weeping.”

“Weeping doesn’t sound like such a bad idea,” Quinn said.

“If I start crying, I don’t know if I’ll stop,” I admitted.

Ash took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

There wasn’t anything more to say, so I opened the front door and left.

I climbed into the Suburban and was getting situated when Hawk asked, “When’s Da coming home?”

“Tomorrow,” I said.

“Good. I miss him,” Hawk said, taking a finger and trailing it down the glass window.

“He misses you,” I assured him with a smile.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” Iain asked.