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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

carter

I exit the arena, surprised that my faux girlfriend was not lounging around the halls, waiting for me. I almost texted her, but when I realized that Sweets was nowhere to be found either, and her fiancé was right next to me, I figured they were up to no good elsewhere.

Sure enough, they’re leaning against my G-Wagon when Lowesy and I finally make it outside.

Since they’ve gotten engaged, the media and fan pages are more obsessed with them than they are with me and Red.

It’s been nice having a little heat off my back.

Still not enough to make me end this arrangement quite yet, though.

Arden turns when we approach, those brown eyes lighting up.

Yeah, not ready to cut ties.

“Hi, boyfriend.”

I smile, nodding as a way of greeting. “Hey, girlfriend.”

“Now that you two have deigned to grace us with your presence,” Penny says, reaching for her fiancé. “We’ll see you kids around. ”

“Text me later,” Arden says, and a jolt of happiness strikes my chest. They’re friends. Real friends now. I knew it would happen the moment they met each other.

“Obviously!” Penny shouts over her shoulder.

“Ready to go?” I ask, ignoring Declan’s goodbye.

“Where?” Arden asks, angling her head. “It’s your night.”

Oh, really?

She looks at me expectantly, and my brain goes a bit mushy.

It feels like she’s giving me a chance here, giving me the opportunity to ask for more than I typically do.

I could take her home, as per our normal routine when there are no other public plans, but she’s offering me more than just a hockey game.

I could take it and fucking run with it, but if she shoots me down, I’m fucked. My ego will never recover.

No impulse control, remember?

“Want to come to my place, order some food, and watch a movie?”

She reaches forward, fingers toying with the strap across my chest. I hear her thoughts as clearly as I see them all over her face.

“Strictly PG?”

“PG-13?” I counter.

She laughs, eyes flickering back up to mine. “PG.”

“Ugh, fine. Strictly platonic,” I say in defeat. She shrugs in agreement, and I search her face, certain I’m misinterpreting that response. There is no way she’s actually willing to spend some one-on-one time with me for no other reason than me asking for it. “Really?”

“It’s part of the deal. Why not?”

Because we’ll be alone together. In close proximity. Knowing I want to kiss the shit out of her, but I shouldn’t. Knowing that rule four-point-five is hanging over my head, desperate to be scratched off the list.

Because there will be nobody around to convince, which is the whole point of this.

“You starting to like me, Red?” I ask, sliding my hands to the middle of her waist and hoisting her off my car.

She glares at me. My favourite look on that face, if I’m honest.

“Tolerate is a better word for it.”

“Mhm,” I murmur, smirking down at her. She rolls her eyes, so I roll her over in my hands, bringing her back flat to my chest. I wrap my arms around her collarbone from behind and guide her to her door, helping her in.

I glance at the crowd of people waiting on the other end of the fence and raise my hand, waving, as I climb in next to Mrs. Faux Forkerro.

She pulls all her red hair to one side, relaxing back into the seat.

“What kind of food tonight?”

“Chinese?” she suggests instantly. I snap my head in her direction, but she doesn’t notice. I’m shocked that she actually gave me an answer, that she didn’t act so indifferent toward the question. She nods to herself, pushing those cherry lips forward in consideration. “Yeah, I’m feeling Chinese.”

A win is a win, and this is a huge one. She’s getting comfortable with me.

I no longer have to pry to figure out what she really wants.

Each day spent with her, I think she’s slowly putting down her defenses to let me get to know the real Arden.

It’s a blessing and a curse, because I’m really liking the girl that’s on the inside.

“Chinese it is then, Bub.”

When I pull out of my spot, her hand finds my forearm. I look over at her as security slowly opens the gate for us, convinced she forgot something, horrified that she might have changed her mind, but her eyes are glued to the circus we’re about to drive through.

“Can you stop for them tonight?” she asks.

I cock a brow. I typically don’t like to do the whole fan club thing when I have a girl in the car.

Not just my fake girlfriends. Not just girls I’m sleeping with.

Not even Ari or my mother. There’s an intensity to it.

It makes my palms itch. There’s always a moment when the flashes are blinding and the voices are so loud that they turn into one, ear-splitting, buzzing noise in my head.

I don’t trust that I can keep them safe in those moments.

I start to shake my head, but she squeezes my arm.

“Please,” she says softly. “I don’t want anyone to miss their chance to meet you because of me.”

We slow at the gate, and I drag my eyes back to hers. “Neither of us owes them anything.”

It’s hard, though. When I first started, I stopped every single night.

I’ve been these kids. I love these kids.

I owe a lot to these people. It took time and experience to set some boundaries.

It took Boston sitting me down, green eyes serious, telling me that they bought a ticket to watch us play, but that doesn’t cover the cost of making everyone’s wants and wishes come true.

I can’t make everyone happy.

But I have to keep myself sane.

Still, the way Arden’s eyes are all wide and sad when she spots a little girl on her dad’s shoulders—holding my jersey in her hands…

I fucking slow the car down. Shit. Apparently, I have no strength when it comes to pretty girls in my passenger seat or sweet little girls who are going to bond with their dad’s forever over this one, tiny moment.

We sit in the chaos zone for over ten minutes. My window is down and the doors are locked. Arden leans against her door, watching with pure enjoyment dancing in her eyes. That’s why I sign every single item shoved in front of me, and that’s why I pose for over twenty stupid selfies.

She’s smiling. At me. A real, gorgeous smile.

When we’re back on the road and away from the crowd, her eyes are still burning into the side of my face. I don’t have to look at her. I know her expressions by heart at this point. I can feel what each of them means.

“What?”

She’s quiet for a second. “Why don’t you have a real girlfriend?”

That question catches me off guard. I look at her. “What?”

She’s staring at me, contemplating. One million thoughts running through that brain.

“You’re surprising. A good man with a good career. You’re a bit easy on the eyes too, I guess.”

I shoot her a look. We both know I’m fucking handsome as hell. She said so herself.

“Why haven’t you settled down?”

I look back at the road, uncomfortable with how vulnerable that question makes me feel. I don’t love pulling back these layers of myself. Not in front of other people. Admitting my shortcomings to myself is hard enough. I clear my throat a bit, shifting in my seat.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “It’s not that I haven’t wanted to. I just… I don’t think I’m the guy people stay with for the long haul, Red.”

She scoffs. “Bullshit.”

I glance at her. Those brown eyes are locked on me, a sour look on her face. I haven’t seen that one before.

“ Bullshit ,” she says again, this time more assertively. “Yes, you are. ”

Well, fuck. The way she sounds so sure of that makes me feel more sure of myself, too.

“That’s easy to say when you’re not actually dating me, Red. You only see me three times a week and there are no real strings attached to this whole thing. Could you imagine living with me? Having a family with me? Can you imagine life in your sixties with me?”

She doesn’t even pause. I barely finish my sentence.

“Yes.”

“Come on,” I huff a laugh. I lean over to lightly smack her leg, like this conversation isn’t completely warping my heart. “Be realistic.”

“I am,” she says with a defiant little dip of her chin. “What’s there not to want, Carter? You’d be the easiest ‘yes’ of any woman’s life.”

I swallow, rigidly resting my wrist on the top of my steering wheel. I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I was not expecting her to defend me so boldly. To see such good in me and admit it out loud. Not when she’s been trying to keep how much she likes me to a minimum.

It feels good.

“I don’t know. Women don’t stay. I live a very busy life and have a shit ton of problems reigning in my temper.

I’ve stepped over the line way too many times to count.

Look how we met. The first time it happens, I think women find it noble.

Maybe a bit attractive, like some protective fantasy, but after the fifth?

It gets old, and it’s not something that I can just stop, even when I try. ”

She watches me, digests that one. “Technically, we met because I was going to sleep with your friend.”

I bark out a surprised laugh.

“I’m not endorsing those fights, and I’m surely not saying they aren’t an issue, but I don’t think they’re all that you are,” she says. “You’re more than the punches you throw, Carter. Way more.”

Damn, this girl is going to make it impossible not to fall for her, isn’t she?

“Keep talking like that, Red, and I’ll start thinking you like me.”

I glance over at her, to where the prettiest shade of brown studies my face like I’m a medical mystery. After a long moment, Arden shrugs a shoulder, no hint of a smile on her mouth, but a defiant twinkle in her eye.

“Tolerate is a better word for it.”