Page 18

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

carter

Back in the G-Wagon, Arden is a bit more comfortable in my presence than she’s ever been.

Probably the wine, but I’d like to think we broke down some barriers tonight.

She glances at me a couple of times. I pretend not to notice.

I just bob my head to the music and cruise through the dark streets, acting like silence doesn’t suffocate me.

“I think I’m in love with her.”

That’s the first thing she says.

I bark out a laugh, glancing at her. “Penny?”

She nods, eyes all wide, smile all pretty. “They look good together.”

“They are good together,” I tell her, and it’s true. The best, probably. There was a lot of touch and go with them, but they got there in the end. Where they belong. “If you ever want to spend time with the dogs, since you can’t have your own, she’d love to have you over.”

I know that for a fact. I don’t have to ask Sweets.

“She barely knows me.”

I shake my head. “Nah, Penny isn’t like that. She knows within the first two minutes of meeting you if she likes you. I’m telling you, she likes you. You’re her friend now.”

Arden smiles a bit, looking back at the road. Gets more comfortable in her seat. There’s a few minutes of silence, which I hate, but she finally breaks it. “That was Whitney who texted you from my phone the other day.”

You don’t say?

A smile pulls at my lips. “Yeah, I put that together.”

“But I am sorry for biting your head off,” she says, and I don’t look at her, because I get the feeling that she doesn’t want me to. “Just don’t make comments about where I live, okay? I know it isn’t the Hollywood Hills. It’s just how things have to be right now.”

I nod, even though I still hate the thought of her being there alone, and I don’t fully understand what the end of that sentence means. I’m sure those words will haunt me for the next little while, but I keep my mouth shut anyway.

It’s not my place.

“I won’t do it again.” It’s a promise I’m going to try to keep.

“Thanks,” she says. There’s a beat of silence, and then she looks at me. Really looks at me. I can feel her eyes burning into my face. “Do you really volunteer at the shelter? Fix it up for them?”

“I don’t get my hands dirty, but I pay for it, yeah.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“Just didn’t expect that from you.”

That stings a bit, but I let it go. I know my reputation, how I come off, and I didn’t exactly start volunteering there out of the goodness of my heart, did I? She’s not wrong to assume so little of me.

“I’m more than just a pretty face. ”

She rolls her eyes at that. “If it weren’t for all the assaults, I might believe it.”

She’s got me there. That one adds a bit of salt to the wound.

“Well, the assaults are typically for a good cause.”

“I don’t know if that’s really a thing.”

“ You aren’t a good cause?”

She shakes her head a bit, drums her fingers on her lap. “The only thing I caused was a headache for you.”

She seriously has to stop saying shit like that.

“No, he caused that.”

“Technicalities.” She waves me off like it’s nothing. Like she and him are the same.

Yeah, that’s not going to fly in this vehicle.

“No, he literally did. What did you do besides look ridiculously hot at a bar?”

She blinks, a bit taken aback by the compliment, I guess. Strange, since we’re in this situation because I was hitting on her at the very bar where I punched that guy in the face for touching her. I thought my attraction to her was clear.

“That was all him.”

“Either way, it just keeps getting worse for you because of it. They won’t give you a break, will they?”

I let out a long breath. “No. They won’t.”

The game is the game, though. Being a celebrity of sorts comes with living under a microscope, even if you hate it. I typically love it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the very few who thrive when the cameras are on me, but I can still acknowledge the downsides to that.

There are very big, very public downsides.

Buzzing interrupts the conversation. Arden is instantly digging in her purse, cursing under her breath. She goes a bit tense when she sees who is calling, but doesn’t hesitate to answer it either.

“Hello?”

She’s quiet for a moment, eyes staring right out the window. After a few seconds, she shuts her eyes in a wince and her head falls back to the seat.

“ How , Serena?” she grumbles, letting out a long breath. “He doesn’t need to move, you just want him to.”

I focus on the road, but there is no way to avoid eavesdropping in this situation.

“Yeah, well, that’s forty-five thousand dollars more than I can afford,” she snaps, dropping her hand to her lap. She’s burning a hole through my windshield with her glare. “Right, because the couple hundred dollars a month you’ve given me over the years has been so helpful.”

I really wish I were anywhere but here right now.

“I can barely handle the bills now!” she says loudly, then glances at me, all cautious, like she forgot I was here. “You know what? Now’s not the time, Serena. I’ll call you back.”

There’s a pause.

“In what world does this need to be decided right now, at this very moment?” After another beat of silence, she physically deflates in her seat. “Fine. Fine, yeah. Get them to call me. Yeah, whatever.”

Her voice cracks at the end there. She drops the phone in her lap and immediately buries her face in her hands, letting out the saddest and most tormented sound I have ever heard in my life.

I risk a glance at her.

Her shoulders are shaking, and for a moment, I’m unsure if she’s laughing or crying.

She drops her hands, and fuck, those are tears. Frustrated tears .

Instinct takes over as I reach for her, placing my hand on her shoulder. “Shit, are you okay?”

She chokes out a laugh, trying to regain her composure, but her lip is still shaking and the tears are still pooling.

She shakes her head, covering her mouth with her hand.

I’m struck with the realization that she feels the same way about showing her emotions as I do with pockets of silence. We choose to avoid it if we can.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” I say quietly. I squeeze her shoulder again, but she doesn’t look at me.

She sucks in a breath. “My dad is sick. He has ALS.”

I freeze a bit, stunned by the admission. I truly didn’t expect her to open up to me in any capacity, so hearing something that big about her life takes me a second to process. That’s a hard one to stomach, a hard disease to have to watch slowly take your parent from you.

“Mom’s dead,” she says so casually, I have to look back at her to make sure I heard her right. “I’m the oldest and I’m not there to take care of him, so I front most of his bills, and they’re not small bills.”

I nod, but say nothing. That explains the area where she lives a bit more now.

“That was my sister, Serena,” she continues, and finally meets my eyes.

I see the heaviness there, the burden she’s carrying.

I understand why canine therapy was needed enough that she agreed to come with me tonight.

“She wants to move him to a new home for better care, and so they’ll be closer to him.

I’m an asshole for pushing back against that, right?

Like, a total and complete asshole of a daughter and a sister? ”

I choose my next words carefully. This is sensitive territory, and I don’t want to offend her again, but I want to be honest.

“Not if you’re footing the bill, Arden. ”

“Exactly.” She sniffles, wiping her cheeks. “But they’ll push and push until I do what they say because, above everything, I want to take care of my family. Of those girls. I promised… I made a promise.”

I pull into her neighbourhood, but I debate going back on the freeway and driving around the city until she’s done. Let her talk it out. Let her get it out of her system. I have a feeling she’s been bottling this up and that call was just the blow that broke her armour.

It should have been her friend Whitney, or the other one… Autumn? But it’s not. It’s me.

“I’m sure they’d understand.”

She huffs a laugh but shakes her head. “No. I think that they resent me for leaving. I get it, but…I’m twenty-eight and have nothing to show for my life.

I’ve been a nurse for years and I’m barely getting by, even living here.

It’s a terrible thing to think about, but sometimes, I wish he’d just go. ”

That he’d die.

Damn. That’s heavy. She sounds so exhausted when she says it, and I feel that weight sitting in the vehicle with us.

The pain of loving someone who's sick can’t be easy.

Watching them live their life in pain, day in and day out.

I can only imagine how taxing that would be, even if you aren’t there to see it every day.

It also explains why she’s living here . She has no choice. It’s her only option. The pieces that make up who Arden is are slowly starting to come together to form a full picture.

“I think that’s more of a normal feeling than you’d think.”

She shakes her head, unbuckling herself before we’re even at her complex. “I’m sorry for unloading that on you. That wasn’t fair. That’s not like me, either.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” I tell her, and she must hear the sincerity in my voice, because she relaxes a bit.

“I know we just met, Red, but if you’re keeping all that shit inside, I don’t mind being the ear that you use when you feel like screaming.

If there is one thing I understand, it’s anger. ”

She smiles tightly, angles her head like she’s seeing me in a bit of a different light after this conversation, too.

“Thanks.”

I nod because I meant every word.

“But yeah. That’s never going to happen.” She laughs under her breath. “I wouldn’t do that to you. The long, haunted history of the Doll family has yet to taint your soul and I’d like to keep it that way.”

My ears perk up for two reasons. One, because I now know her last name. Two, because what the fuck does all that mean?

I pull into her lot and put the G-Wagon into park. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would have never known that she just had a mini meltdown in my passenger seat. Her face is perfect and clear, her smile soft and tired. Her eyes are a bit glassy, but that’s all.

She’s good at pretending, Arden Doll.

“The offer still stands, Red. Alright?”

She angles her head again, in that way I am growing to find endearing, and reaches forward to put her hand on my arm. “Thanks, Carter, and thank you for tonight. Surprisingly, I had a good time. Who knew you were such good company?”

“I mean,” I scrunch up my face, acting offended, “everyone? You were the odd man out there.”

She waves me off, throwing open the door to the vehicle. “Yeah, yeah. See you, Carter.”

“In your dreams? Or just around?”

I get a glare for that one. A glare that makes her eyes a bit brighter, anyway.

She shuts the door, shaking her head, and walks toward her apartment.

She tosses me a wave over her shoulder as she pries open the door, and my smile slowly vanishes, thinking about the way she crumbled beside me.

The way that one phone call had her bracing for impact before she even answered it.

She’s a bit stoic, but I’m starting to gather why.

She has to be. Her only living parent is extremely sick with one of the worst conditions he can have, and she’s trying to take care of him, her sisters, and herself at the same time.

It’s clear by where she’s living that she’s putting herself dead last on the list of priorities.

I feel a bit mad at the universe now. That’s a heavy hand for one person to be dealt.

I might not have known her for long, but I have gathered enough to know she’s a good girl.

She’s got a no-bullshit attitude and a massive chip on her shoulder, but it’s all part of her charm.

Good morals, or she would have sold that story about Lowesy the second she could have.

She definitely would have benefited from the money.

She’s one of the good ones, too, even if she tries to convince the world she’s not.

I see right through her act.

The world owes her a debt for what it’s put her through.