Page 47

Chapter

Forty-Four

HADLEY

Kendall takes one look at my red, puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks and bustles me out of our dorm room. She hands me a pair of aviators, puts me in the front seat of her car, and then sets me in an isolated back corner booth at The Silver Spoon. She’s the best.

I sniff into a napkin and try not to be too pathetic while she waits in line.

Through my sunglasses, I stare at the laughing college students and families inside the old-fashioned ice-cream parlor.

The sparkly red vinyl booths, Formica tables, and red and white striped awning outside give it a fifties vibe, and the ice cream is creamy and delicious.

They boast over thirty decadent flavors, and I haven’t tried one I didn’t like.

When Kendall comes back with a dish of Fat Elvis for her and a massive bowl of Bourbon Pecan Pie for me, I start crying all over again. It’s so sweet, and I’ve missed her so much.

“Spill,” she says, gesturing with her spoon.

So I do. I tell her everything, way beyond the details in my texts. How my attraction to Jonas only grew over the summer, how much fun we had together, and how we decided it would be okay to have a secret little fling as long as it had an end date.

“But it wasn’t okay, was it?” she asks after I finish my sad tale.

I shake my head and take another bite. The ice cream helps, but only marginally.

“He wants more.” I drop my voice to a whisper. “He said he fell in love with me.”

Kendall grins, which feels out of place at a time like this. I’m about to get indignant when she speaks. “I can’t blame him. You are awesome.”

Despite everything, I huff a watery laugh. “You’re right. But I don’t want a serious relationship right now.”

Kendall puts her hand over mine. “I get it. Did you tell him that?”

“Yeah.” I review the conversation. “Well, sort of. I said I don’t want to be monogamous.”

She winces. “I don’t know Jonas very well, but I doubt he’d go for that.”

I swirl my spoon in the dregs of my bowl. “He did not.”

I didn’t expect him to. That’s kinda why I said it.

Kendall stares at me, brown eyes piercing. I glance away.

“I’m all for options and having fun. But it sounds like you really like him.” She pushes another napkin towards me across the table, and I wipe my nose.

“I do really like him. A lot.” I sniff. “But I’m too young to be serious about anyone. And Jonas…”

I think back over everything this summer. He selflessly cared for everyone we encountered, especially me. He waited to have sex because he wanted it to mean something. How can I put it into words for her? “Jonas loves with his whole heart. He can’t stop himself. And I’m not ready for that.”

Kendall nods, her eyes sad. “You know best about what you need, boo.”

Crumpling the napkin in my fingers, I shred it into little pieces. “He said we can’t be friends.”

“What?” The shock on Kendall’s face echoes my own in that moment.

“He said it’s too hard, and he can’t turn off his feelings.” Sobs choke my throat. “So I lost my best friend, too.”

“Come on.” Grabbing my hand, she pulls me out of the ice cream shop and into her sporty blue Mustang. “This is worse than I thought.”

I don’t ask where we’re going, and I’m not surprised when we end up at Sephora in Target five minutes later. Kendall believes every crisis is better with some self-care. So far, she’s not wrong.

She hands me a red shopping basket and proceeds to put gel eye masks, hydrating face serum, and a new lip oil color in it.

“Start with the basics and add anything else you’ll need,” she says, pointing me to a nail polish display. “Now, let’s figure out this friend thing.”

I take a deep breath, less out of control as I survey the rainbow of shiny little bottles. I finger a pastel pink shade but put it back in favor of a deep purple, so dark it’s almost black.

“Part of it,” I say, my voice steady, “is we were thrown together so much this summer. I hung out with Jonas every day. I miss him already. Is that crazy?”

Kendall shakes her head, braids bouncing. She’s opted for long box braids right now, with some blond highlighted pieces woven in. It’s a perfect summer look.

“Hey, I haven’t even complimented your new hairstyle yet. It’s awesome.”

“Thanks, but back to the matter at hand.” She tosses her hair, then takes the purple polish out of my grasp and puts it in our shopping basket. “It’s totally normal to miss him. If we take out the relationship thing, you’d still be sad that your friend is gone.”

“But I’m also mad?” My voice raises like it’s a question, and I examine my emotions. “Like, I told him it was only for the summer. I made it so very clear. He knew it had an end date, and I said we’d go back to just being friends. I’m kinda pissed he ruined that.”

Kendall smiles at me, a bit mournful, and holds up a bold blue eyeshadow pallet to her face. I nod at the colors, and for her to say whatever’s on her mind.

“I get that. You’re a little betrayed he developed feelings when you told him not to. But girl.” She pouts at me. “Did you really think you could both go back to just being friends after you hooked up all summer?”

I shrug. Did I? “I mean… I think I wanted him so badly, I convinced myself it would be fine. That I could have it all.”

“And he probably convinced himself he’d be fine, too. Probably even thought you’d catch feelings and change your mind.”

“But I told him?—”

“I know. But again, can you blame him? You’re a catch.”

“But I’m not ready to be caught.”

She wraps her arm around my shoulders and squeezes. “Right guy, wrong time.”

“Right guy?” I turn to stare at her.

“Hads, you’ve gotta admit it. Jonas is pretty perfect. I think you know you could absolutely fall in love with him. And you don’t want that. So that’s why you ended it.”

I sniff. “I maybe kinda started to. Fall in love with him, that is. So I pulled back before anything worse could happen.”

“Worse than falling in love with a great guy?” Kendall raises a brow.

“Wrong time,” I remind her, stiffening my spine.

“If you say so.” She pats my shoulder, and hands me a pack of eye masks, then gestures at my face. “I love you, so I’m going to be honest. You’re going to need these.”

I might not have Jonas anymore, but at least I have Kendall.