Page 23

Chapter

Twenty

JONAS

Hunter: Hey man, how’s your new roommate?

Jonas: Way less grumpy in the mornings than you.

Jonas: Actually, way less grumpy all the time.

Jonas: Seriously, she’s great. Not too messy and doesn’t mind putting up with Evan. How’s Chicago?

Hunter: It’s awesome. I love living with Natalie and seeing her all the time. Conditioning is kicking my ass, though. The pros are a whole new level.

Hunter: But Coach prepared us well. And I still can’t believe I get paid to play hockey. I’m literally living my dream.

Covered in a fine sheen of sweat, I let myself into my apartment and stop short in the entryway. Hadley reclines in a pillow nest on the floor, staring at her laptop screen.

When Hunter moved out, he took his sofa and entertainment center with him. Evan and I haven’t gotten around to buying anything else…hence Hadley’s set up on the living room carpet. It’s pretty pathetic but we’ll figure something out soon.

We need to, because I’m not sure I can handle seeing Hadley on the floor in a pile of blankets. Her shorts showcase her long legs and her hair, piled in a messy knot on top of her head, makes me think about other activities that would muss her up.

Like a hot and heavy make out session. My hands, skimming over her bare arms, cupping the nape of her neck. Pressing her body close to mine, those incredible legs wrapping around my waist. My lips, dropping kisses along her jaw until I finally land on her mouth.

We haven’t spoken since she propositioned me this morning. She broke my brain, and words failed me. I got so flustered I ran out on her. I remember kissing her, though. When I’m old and my memories fail me, I’ll still remember that kiss.

But we definitely need to talk.

“Hey, Jonas. How was your day?” She asks, staring at me with those clear blue eyes that make my knees weak.

“It was good.” After a twelve-hour shift at the hospital, I hit the gym.

I’m exhausted, both mentally and physically, but I can’t slack off now.

I can’t let the guys down again. Plus, I should study.

At some point, I need to choose if I’m finishing the nursing program or throwing my hat in the pro hockey ring.

But until I make up my mind, I need to use all my time off in the summer to prepare for both paths.

Trying to shake off the anxiety that curls in my belly every time I think about the future, I stalk over to her pillow pile and flop down beside her. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, what’s up?” Hadley closes her laptop and shifts, looking at me.

“Well, this morning…” I scratch my head. “I think I blacked out and then kissed you and ran away.”

“That might be accurate.” She laughs, a delighted tinkling sound, but then her face falls. “Are you not okay with everything?”

That’s the question, isn’t it? “I just wanted to be sure. Because Hunter…”

“He doesn’t live here. He’s not your teammate anymore. And he doesn’t weigh in on my relationship decisions.” Her voice is laced with steel, and she sits up ramrod straight.

“I totally respect all of that. But even still, he’d be pissed.” Whether he has any right to or not, Hunter wouldn’t like the idea of Hadley having a fling.

Hadley shrugs. “He and Natalie are so deeply in love and committed, they can’t imagine wanting anything casual. But I don’t want to be tied down. It’s great for them, but that’s not where I’m at right now.” She clears her throat. “And how do you feel about it?”

If I think I’m busy this summer, it’s nothing compared to what my schedule will be like in the fall.

Classes and hockey, the upcoming HESI exam…

I’ll have to buckle down with no time for anything extra like a girlfriend.

There’s no doubt that I want whatever Hadley is offering, but I have questions.

“Are we exclusive?”

“Yes. For the summer. And let’s not tell anyone, not make a big deal out of it.”

I open my mouth, then close it. I don’t love the idea of sneaking around, but it sort of makes sense.

I don’t want things to be awkward with our other roommates.

If we’re going to end things anyway, I’d rather not have people asking a bunch of questions or creating drama.

And if that means it doesn’t get back to Hunter, that’s one less worry.

“Fine.” I hold out my hand for a shake, and she puts her palm in mine, smiling. Shivers race up my spine at the contact. I can’t believe this is finally happening.

Shifting closer to her, I pull out her laptop and open it up. “Whatcha watching?”

Snatching it from my grasp, Hadley shuts her laptop with a snap, eyes darting around. “Nothing.”

I raise a brow. “If you’re gonna watch porn, you should probably do that in your bedroom.”

“It’s not porn!” Her cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink, and my stomach flips at the sight.

“Prove it.”

She heaves a deep sigh. “Okay, but… Jonas, you have to promise not to judge me.”

“Are you sure it’s not porn?”

She punches my bicep, and I wince, rubbing it. “Ow.”

“You big baby.” Muttering under her breath, she opens her computer and turns it to face me. “I know it’s dumb. But Love Island is my guilty pleasure show.”

“ Love Island ?”

She won’t meet my gaze. “Yes, okay? A bunch of single twenty-somethings live in a giant house in paradise and hook up. And I’m addicted to it.”

Hearing her talk about hookups makes my blood race. “I’m not gonna judge you for that.”

Finally meeting my eyes, she sighs and looks relieved. “Really? You seem like you’d be above reality TV.”

I shrug, my shoulder bumping hers. She smells delicious. “I watch American Idol with my sister.”

“This is nothing like that.”

“My point is, I’m not above anything.”

“I usually watch it with Kendall, and we make fun of everyone.” Her cursor hovers over the play icon. “But we watch the British version. Somehow their accents make it cultured?”

“Go ahead, start it. How bad can it be?”

Really, really bad is the answer to that question. But that’s part of the appeal for Hadley.

As the male contestants make vaguely sexist comments and blatant lewd remarks, she boos them.

While simultaneously rooting for the female contestants to hook up with them and have fun.

I’m not sure I understand the alliances and couples that form and reform, but I sneak glances at Hadley out of the corner of my vision as we watch.

Her eyes sparkle, she bounces in place, and gestures with her hands as she talks to the screen. Catching me staring, she giggles. “Come on, Jonas, get into the spirit. Give ‘em some advice!”

“Uh, don’t sleep with him,” I tell the lady in a bikini as she gushes about her partner. “He’s probably a selfish lover.”

Hadley smiles, so apparently my commentary meets her standards. “That’s better. Is it rotting your brain yet?”

“Maybe a little?”

She gasps at my admission. “How dare you!”

“Hey, you asked!”

Nothing has changed between us—we can still hang out and have fun. And if every now and then I brush a soft kiss to her neck, well, there’s no one else here to see. No one else to hear her breathy little gasps that hit me straight in the groin.

But I don’t take things any further, and when the episode ends, she turns to me, gaze expectant. “Well, what did you think?”

“You’re right, it’s not like American Idol .”

“Hey, don’t make fun of me!” Faux outrage spreads across her face, and god, goofing off with her is the brightest spot in my day.

“I’m not! I didn’t say anything about the caliber of people who may or may not watch Love Island. ”

“But you thought it in your head.” She raises her brows, challenging me, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Well, maybe. But the weird thing is, I’d watch another episode.”

“Oh, no.” Setting aside her laptop, she stands and brushes off her hands. “You’re new to this. You have to pace yourself.”

She holds out her palm to help me up, but I’m pretty sure I’d pull her over if we tried that. I give her a five instead and haul myself off the floor. Maybe we can order a couch online and skip the furniture store. But this is not a sustainable solution.

“Like conditioning?” I ask, sniffing my armpit. It’s not pleasant. I should have showered right when I got home instead of getting distracted by her.

“Yes, exactly like that.” She adjusts her messy bun, but her hair still falls out of it in streams of tempting blonde tendrils. “Speaking of, did you go straight from the hospital to the gym?”

“Yes.” Her eyes widen at my defensive tone, and I wince. “Sorry. That was unkind. I gotta keep pushing myself.”

Hadley narrows her eyes. “I thought players usually took some time off in the summer.”

“Yeah, but…” I swallow. “I don’t want to lose any ground. Plus, my nursing degree…” Trailing off, I run a hand through my hair.

The pressure of the future looms like a storm on my horizon.

I don’t tell her I pushed myself too hard because I’m still so guilty over losing us the Frozen Four game.

That whenever I go to the gym, all I can do is punish myself for it.

When I focus on the intensity of my workouts, I control the forces surrounding me and I can handle it.

I shrug off her concerned eyes, playing it cool. “I have to be in top form next year, you know?”

Hadley nods. “Yeah, it’s wild. Professional athletes work so hard to stay in shape. People who are outside the sports world truly don’t understand.”

It’s easy to forget about her connection to the game, but the casual way she talks about it hits me. She’s grown up around professional athletes, first with her dad and now her brother. That’s what she expects. She assumes of course I will try for a career in the NHL. Why would I do anything else?

Lately, I don’t know. I want something more, something deeper.

Not a life of entertainment and being a slave to the game, but a life spent making a difference.

Being in the pediatric ward, providing help and care to kids like Emma who need it lights me up inside.

It’s the same way I feel when I play hockey—or used to, before anxiety took hold.

I’m good at nursing. I made a little boy smile today when I drew his blood. He didn’t like the process, but he stopped crying and smiled when I joked around with him.

But I’m good at hockey, too. And professional athletes can have influence in their communities. Creating non-profits and raising money for those in need. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. How am I supposed to know what path to take?

I don’t tell Hadley any of this. Instead, I clear my throat. “Yeah. It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“I know what would help.” Her voice drops to that husky register and my mouth goes dry.

“What?” I take a step towards her, putting my hands on her waist.

She opens her mouth to tell me as the door beeps. One of our roommates is putting in their code to unlock it. We spring apart.

“Maybe I’ll tell you later.” Hadley gives me a flirty wink and flounces off, and god, I hope she does.