Page 14

Chapter

Eleven

HADLEY

Devon: See you at Starbucks soon

Hadley: Sounds good

“Here ya go, babe.” Devon sets the green matcha tea in front of me, and I try not to wince at the nickname. I like it when Kendall calls me babe, but with Devon, it grates on my nerves. Everything with him has been getting on my nerves lately.

We talked after the disastrous night I met his bandmates, and he apologized for Bex. At the time, I said things were fine. But I knew in my heart we were done. I’ve been meaning to have this conversation since, but our schedules haven’t lined up. And then Hunter got hurt…

When I needed him, Jonas had been there for me unconditionally. He gave me a ride to the hospital, he sat with me in the waiting room, he listened to my anxious ramblings. He provided a literal shoulder to lean on. He chose me over the team event.

Devon was the last person I wanted with me that night. But between the holidays, finals, and his gigs, I haven’t seen much of him lately. I could have ghosted him or broken it off through a text, but I’m better than that.

So I invited him to the Starbucks in the Union—private enough for a chat but public enough I’m safe from a potential scene.

I thank him for the drink though it’s not what I’m in the mood for, and he launches into a description of the band’s set list last night.

He details the audience response, and the changes they made to the bridge…

I try to nod in the right places, but I’m mentally reviewing vocab words for my Intro to Ed final.

After a while, he trails off, staring at me with his brows raised. Uh-oh, I must have drifted away.

“Um, sorry, can you repeat that?” I ask, twirling a strand of hair around my finger.

He huffs. “I said, how’s your brother?”

“He’s okay. His leg is healing, but he’s probably out for the season.”

The news devastated Hunter. The medical staff is optimistic that he’ll be able to play again, but his future is unsure.

He’s always planned on playing in the NHL after college, and without that, he’s floundering.

I wish I could do more to help. I stop by to cheer him up periodically, and I’ve gotten closer to him and his girlfriend Natalie through it all. An unexpected silver lining, I suppose.

“Well, I’m sure the team will survive without him and continue to get tons of funding and attention.” Devon’s tone is flippant. “Jocks, am I right?”

I bristle. Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but just because I don’t want to date a guy who’s an athlete doesn’t make them all awful people.

In fact, Hunter is great, and the rest of the hockey team has become like surrogate brothers to me.

Cooper, Evan, Jonas—they’ve all stepped up, and there’s nothing they wouldn’t do if I needed it.

“I mean, they kind of deserve it,” I say in a hesitant voice. “They won a National Championship, after all. That’s a huge deal. And they work hard?—”

“Oh please.” Devon sneers. “I spend hours a day practicing, too. I don’t see the university building me a new state-of-the-art auditorium. Though I’m as worthy as those hockey meatheads.”

“They are not meatheads.” I press my lips together and inhale through my nose. I force myself to keep a leash on my temper, but I can’t let him get away with that. “They are actually really smart—balancing classes and a demanding schedule, like everyone else.”

Indignation rolls through me. Jonas is a freaking nursing major, one of the toughest courses of study on campus. How could anyone ever think he’s a meathead?

“Yeah, okay.” Devon rolls his eyes, and I want to poke them with a fork.

Instead, I change the subject. “Um, I need to talk to you about something.”

“What’s up?” His face is open, his gaze unsuspecting. I thought I’d feel lousy about what’s coming, but his comments have pissed me off enough that I’m relieved.

“We should see other people,” I blurt out before I lose my nerve. “I don’t think we’re compatible. I’m sorry.”

“What?” He blinks, clearly surprised. “But I thought things were great. I was looking forward to having a girlfriend at Christmas. I mean, I know Bex has been a little much lately, but don’t let her make you insecure. I like you a lot, and?—”

I hold up my hand to cut him off. “It’s not Bex. This is about us. And I don’t see a future for us.”

That was the wrong thing to say, because his cheeks flush and his eyes snap. “A future? I thought we were casual. Since when did you want a future?”

He’s right; I don’t. But also, I don’t want to be with someone who annoys me every time he opens his mouth. The urge to bang my head on the table is strong, but I resist. Why can guys not take a breakup gracefully? If I acted like this, I’d be labeled “too emotional” or “a drama queen.”

“Devon.” I stand and shoulder my purse. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. We’re not destined to be friends, but I promise not to make it awkward if I see you. How’s that?”

I hold out my hand for him to shake, eyebrows raised.

He mutters but finally takes it. His eyes reflect his hurt, but he’s probably more upset I’m the one who initiated this than sad it’s over. “Here’s to not awkward.”

I guess that’s the best I can hope for. I leave him staring at the table and make my way through the Union. My boots click on the slate tile and former university presidents stare at me from their oil paintings on the walls. This probably isn’t the first break-up they’ve witnessed.

Should I be upset? Maybe it’s wrong, but I’m not.

Relief that it’s over floods my veins. I liked him at first, but my heart wasn’t at risk.

If I’m being honest, that was part of his appeal.

That’s what I wanted, right? To try out all kinds of guys this year.

So really, this is good. My mistake was letting things go on too long.

Pushing through the double doors, I take a deep breath. The cold December air fills my lungs, and I shiver, pulling my coat tighter around me. It smells like it might snow. The thought buoys me.

I will allow myself one night of binge-watching Love Island with Kendall to recover from this. Maybe an afternoon of listening to Midnights on repeat. Then it’s back to my normal routine. I have finals to study for, a semester to finish. A brother to check on.

Why do I want to immediately race over to Hockey Hall? Obviously to visit Hunter, but if I happen to mention to Jonas I’m single… No. I cut off that train of thought before I can spiral down a path I shouldn’t take. I’m not dating Devon anymore, but that doesn’t mean Jonas is the answer.

Instead of giving in to what I want and visiting their apartment, I direct my feet back to my dorm. That’s the wise course of action. And I’m a mature college freshman who makes smart choices.

Yeah, right.