Page 61 of Every Silent Lie

She’s up like a shot, joining me on my walk back to my end of the floor. Crystal dips into the kitchen as Meredith comes out, cupping her mug with both hands. “Camryn,” she says, stopping. “I just wanted to?—”

“Please don’t mention the jumper.”

She smiles. “I wanted to thank you for stepping in.”

“You shouldn’t have to thank me, it should never have come to that.” I carry on, Meredith flanking me, our pace leisurely. “Have you heard from him?”

“I’ve filed for a divorce.”

I wince. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

“Nice jumper, Camryn,” Joshua says, holding up his Christmas mug in cheers.

I roll my eyes as we reach Debbie’s desk, and Meredith sets her coffee down. “I just have a few things to run over with Debbie,” she says.

“Then I’ll leave you to it.” I take the handle of my door.

“Where did you get it?” Meredith calls.

I turn my frown back to the two women. “What?”

“The jumper.”

I look down my front. “Some tat store around the corner. Why?” Both women claim their mugs and take sips, and it’s so fucking obvious that they’re doing it to restrain their smiles. “Okay,” I breathe, facing them. “What’s going on?” I feel like I’m the butt of everyone’s jokes today.

“It’s a cool jumper.”

“It’s a black fucking jumper with a Christmas hat on the front. It hardly justifies the airtime it’s getting.”

Debbie and Meredith cast looks to each other.

“What?” I snap, throwing my arms up.

“I wasn’t referring to the front of the jumper.” Debbie cocks a questioning look. “It’s the back that’s getting the airtime.”

“The back?”

“You didn’t see the back?”

“No, I didn’t see the back,” I say, looking over my shoulder, trying to see the back. “Is there something on the back?” I find myself turning a full circle as I crane my neck, eventually giving up and taking it off. And I die a million deaths when I see the words, big, fat red letters knitted into the design across the entire back.

“Oh. My. God,” I whisper, fucking horrified.

I turn my wide eyes and open mouth to Debbie and Meredith, who proceed to fall apart all over Debbie’s desk, cackling like witches.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I ask.

They can’t answer, because both of them are incapable of speech right now. So I go back to the words, as if I need it reaffirmed, as if the words might morph into other words, and I haven’t been walking around with SANTA’S FAVORITE HO emblazoned across my back all day.

Mortified, I bunch the jumper up in my fists, huffing out my indignation, but seeing Debbie and Meredith in a full-blown laughing fit takes the edge off my irritation. Both women needed a laugh, and for that reason alone, I’m surprisingly happy to provide it, even if I’m rolling my eyes. Besides, perhaps it serves me right for being so unapproachable, I reluctantly concede. “I’ll be here same time tomorrow,” I quip, leaving them to pull themselves together, shutting my office door on their laughter.

I look at the jumper screwed up in my hand and shake my head to myself, stuffing it in my bag and calling the care home to check on Mum. “Hi, Deirdre, it’s Camryn.”

“Oh, Camryn, how are you?”

I frown. “Good.” I frown harder. “How are you?”