Page 130 of Every Silent Lie

“I can see your legs,” she assures me, pulling one of the dresses off the rail and holding it up. “I’ll pop it in the changing room.”

She disappears, and I turn into Dec, finding him looking at me fondly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just imagining you in that dress.”

“Do they have it in black?” I ask, semi-scowling.

“No.” He takes my hand and pulls me toward the back of the store.

“You haven’t asked.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re trying the gold.”

“And where am I going to wear a gold dress, Dec?”

“You’re going to wear it for me tonight when I take you out.”

I stop, forcing Dec to a stop too, and he turns, his face its familiar impassive beauty that I love so much. “We’re going out?”

“Yes,” he answers, assertive, leaving no room for protesting. “And we’ll keep walking and talking, drinking hot drinks. The only difference is, you’ll be wearing a gold dress instead of wellington boots, and I’ll have some clean clothes on instead of the clothes I wore yesterday. We might even stop for dinner somewhere. Have a drink. Maybe, who knows? It’s all a bit up in the air at the moment, but I hope we’ll finish off the day in my bed, for no other reason than I can’t bear the thought of not cuddling you all night.”

“You hope?” I parrot, my smile stretching across my face.

“More than I’ve ever hoped for anything.”

“You love me. You just referred to me as your girlfriend, so I’d say me being in your bed tonight is a given.”

“Go try on the dress,” he says quietly, jerking his head toward the changing rooms. “And don’t show me.”

I slink off and look at the dress hanging on the hook as I strip out of my coat. “I’m buying the dress if I like it,” I call.

“Shut up.”

The dress was already paid for when I got to the counter, and one look at Dec told me I’d get nowhere if I argued. So I didn’t. But I will be paying him back, and I haven’t stopped thinking about how since we left the store with my beautiful gold dress. What could I possibly buy him? A man who I’m certain has everything. I’m still pondering this when we turn onto my street. I see a grey Defender parked outside my building, the engine running. Ron. “I’ll pick you up in a couple hours, okay?”

“I thought we were walking?” I say with an arched, accusing eyebrow.

“You’re going to need heels with that dress, Camryn. No walking for you.”

“You tricked me.”

He hooks an arm around my waist and hauls me in. “Will you be okay for a few hours on your own?”

Yes, I will. Because for the first time since I lost Noah, I’ve been able to remember the happy times. I’ve been able to remember him without feeling annihilated with devastation. “I’ll be fine.”

He must see the peace in my eyes, as much as I can feel it in my soul. “Okay.”

“Thank you for the dress.”

He smirks. “Don’t be. It’s totally for me.” Slamming a firm kiss on my lips, he swallows me whole and leaves me breathless as he releases me, making me stand on my own two feet for what’s pretty much the first time today. But it’s okay. I can get through the next few hours until I’m back with him.

Dec reverses his steps.

“Thank you for today,” I blurt urgently, forcing my hands to my sides to stop them reaching for him.

He smiles, and the sight is enough to make me burst into tears. He slips into the passenger seat. “Watch your step,” he says, before he closes the door, looking out the window at me as Ron pulls away. I lift a hand, waving, revisiting every wonderful moment of the day. I never imagined today could be anything less than dreadful. And it wasn’t. Because of him.

I don’t come out of my daze until they disappear around a corner, and I inhale deeply, filling my lungs and expanding my chest. Alive.