Page 61 of Eryx

“One day you’ll knock me down,” I said. He stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. “But it won’t be easy. You’ll have to work hard for it. I expect you to try every day until you do.”

He smiled and stood taller. “Yes, sir.”

When he ran across the arena to join the other boys, I watched after him with a small smile of my own.

Having children was a thing I’d never considered until now. Sparta expected men to marry and have children once they reached adulthood, however, I could never give myself to another. Axios possessed me body and soul. The thought of bedding someone else made me feel ill.

But I realized how much I would enjoy being a father. My own father had failed me the moment he took his own life. If I were to ever have a son, I vowed to never fail him. If I were to ever have a daughter, I’d teach her to be strong like Leanna.

I’m behaving like Axios now, dreaming of impossible things.

As I left the arena, I imagined Axios and his raven black hair. His children would be strikingly beautiful with their bronzed skin and honey eyes. Did he wish to have them? Could I stand in his way if he did?

I couldn’t give myself to another, but an unsettling sensation in my gut told me he might be able to.

Reaching the river, I removed my clothing and submerged myself in the water to wash. In winter, the water was much too cold to bathe every day, but in spring and summer, the warmer temperature provided a nice end to a long training session.

Movement to the right caught my eye. A Spartan woman squatted near the bank, washing her face. She met my gaze and smiled. The slit in her chiton exposed the tops of her rounded breasts, and she ran a hand across them as if to seduce me.

I frowned before looking away, disinterested.

No other man—or woman—appealed to me in the slightest. If I ever had to marry a woman, would I even be able to bear to touch her?

Refusing to think on the thought a moment longer, I quickly washed in the river before stepping out and finding my clothes. The woman had moved closer and showed no shame as she admired my naked body. I regarded her with an icy glare before dressing and walking through the field.

Seeing Axios standing in the courtyard, I quickened my steps to reach him faster. My heart felt lighter and my arms ached to hold him. The sun gleamed off his black hair and kissed his skin just as I wished to do.

He turned before I reached him, and he beamed at me. His smile faded, though, and when I touched his hand, he didn’t press his to mine like he usually did.

“Are you well?” I asked, concerned by his odd behavior.

He nodded and looked away. “We should walk to the dining hall. Evening meal will begin soon.”

Had something happened to him? Or perhaps he was only tired. He sometimes became irritable when he was tired. I intended to speak with him as we ate to uncover the reason for his cold attitude. Once we sat at the table with our companions, Axios still kept his silence. He slowly ate his broth and didn’t look up as conversation spilled around him.

A helot poured each of us a glass of wine. Axios grabbed his without a word and took a drink, then he took another.

“I spoke to my beautiful Leanna again,” Haden said, before dipping his bread into the broth and taking a bite.

Despite my concern over the strange mood Axios was in, I smiled at Haden. His relentless pursuit of Leanna was commendable, especially since she rejected his advances each and every time.

“Leanna would rather gut you than go anywhere near that mouth of yours,” Theon said with a laugh.

“What did she say when you spoke to her?” I asked.

Haden sighed like a fool in love. “She said, and I quote, ‘I shall gut you and use your innards as decorations in my garden.’ Is that not charming?”

Quill laughed so hard he spit broth all over Theon. Theon kicked Quill beneath the table and they started bickering at each other.

And Axios remained obvious to it all. He was lost in his head.

I leaned over and whispered in his ear, “What are you thinking?”

He said nothing. He barely even acknowledged me.

By the time we finished eating and were returning to the barracks, I’d had enough of his silent treatment. I pulled him off the path and waited for the others to pass us before dragging him into the empty courtyard. Night was upon us, and we stood in shadow as our companions continued to our quarters.

Haden’s booming voice faded as they walked out of hearing range.