Page 54 of Eryx

His hands started to shake as he cut through muscle and severed the veins.

I reached forward and stilled his hand. When Axios looked at me with tears in his eyes, I took the blade from him. I wouldn’t make him do this. I’d rather take the blade and plunge it into my chest than force him to endure another second of the act.

Visibly relieved, Axios scooted to the side and let me take over. I finished severing the head before grabbing it by the bloody strands of hair and standing from the grass.

“Let us return,” I said, sticking out my other hand to help him to his feet.

He accepted my hand and I pulled him up. Neither of us said a word as we made our way back home. When we left the woods and were back in the field, Axios stared ahead with a dazed expression. I wanted to pull him into my arms and protect him from the dark things swirling in his mind.

Yet, his mind was the one place I couldn’t reach him. The one place I couldn’t protect him from.

When we reached the arena, Gaius and Felix stood close together, speaking quietly amongst themselves. At our approach, they turned and stepped farther apart.

“What have you there?” Felix asked, nodding to the bloody head in my hand.

I tossed it forward, and it rolled before stopping a foot in front of them.

“I knew you’d be the one to take the beast down,” Gaius said to me.

“Actually, it was Axios,” I corrected, stepping back a step so my friend could be acknowledged.

With wide eyes, Gaius regarded Axios. Then, he laughed. “What is this trickery?”

“It is no trick,” I said, squaring my shoulders as a layer of anger moved beneath my skin. He treated Axios like an invalid. “The slave sprung a surprise attack on us and had me at his mercy with a dagger to my throat. Axios threw his spear and his aim struck true.”

“The slave surprisedyou?” Felix asked, narrowing his eyes in disbelief. He’d trained with me for so long that I suspected he knew I’d let the helot capture me. Fortunately, he didn’t press me on the matter. “Very well.” He regarded Axios. “You’ve honored Sparta this day.”

Axios stood a little taller, and I didn’t miss the slight curve to his lips. He appeared pleased with himself, which took me by surprise for the second time that day.

He has let the boy go and embraced the man. Just as I told him.

Later in the evening, we walked toward the barracks. The sun had long since set, but the air remained heavy and stuck to my skin.

“Eryx! Axios!” Quill jumped in front of us, bunching something up in the front of his tunic. His dark hair swooped across his brow, nearly covering one eye. Even in the dim light, I saw his excitement. “Come with me. We’re building a fire. And I’ve stolen snacks!” He gestured with his head to his tunic.

Axios smiled for the first time in hours. “Lead the way, my friend.”

On the way to the courtyard, we passed Ian and Melias.

“You two!” Quill exclaimed in a harsh whisper. “Come with us.”

Melias touched Ian’s hand and nodded. They changed direction and walked with us to the courtyard where Theon and Haden already sat. Even though the night was warm, the fire still felt nice as we gathered around it. Quill passed out berries and cheese before ripping apart a small loaf of bread and dividing it amongst us. He had a talent for thieving.

There was silence as we ate and stared at the flames.

“What was it like?” Haden asked, leaning toward Axios. “To kill him.”

“It was…” Axios paused and pressed his lips together. “You know when a splinter jabs in your palm from javelin throwing? How it’s stuck within your flesh and the only way to free it is to cut it out? Killing him felt that way. The dread was worse than the thing itself. Once cut out, the place it had been continues to be tender a moment, but then it passes, and you feel nothing.”

I understood his words. It was exactly how I felt after killing the helot from the dining mess.

“I cannot wait until my first kill,” Quill said, before popping berries into his mouth. The juice leaked from his lips as he chewed. “When we are men and become warriors, I will strike down any man who wrongs me.”

“That is foolish,” I said, shaking my head. “We must choose our battles wisely and only kill when it is asked of us.” Looking at Axios, I grabbed his hand and smoothed my thumb across his. “Life is sacred and must be taken only when necessary: to protect our home or one another.”

Unlike some Spartans, I didn’t enjoy killing for sport. However, I understood the necessity of it. The slave Axios killed earlier had deserved to die. That didn’t mean all slaves deserved the same.

“I do not know about you fools,” Haden said, biting off a piece of bread and then speaking with his mouth full, “but I am most eager to find a girl and finally bury my cock into her.”