Page 59 of Eryx

“To surrender is to be disgraced,” Haden answered in a loud, clear voice. “Fear is for the weak, as is love. Pain is irrelevant, for a true Spartan rises above it.”

Love is for the weak.I held my composure, although my fist clenched at my side. Many believed the statement to hold truth, yet I never felt more alive than when holding Axios in my arms. My love for him made me stronger. I’d destroy any man who thought to take him from me.

Gaius nodded, pleased with Haden’s response. “And what of obedience?”

“A Spartan must obey his leader,” Haden said. “Without obedience, the system fails. Solidarity amongst us is of great importance. We must think as one to fight as one. That is why other soldiers tremble like babes when Spartans are near. No other army is more disciplined than ours.”

Gaius asked Haden the questions to teach theephebesthe importance of Spartan principles. I suspected there was another reason as well. No lesson came without sacrifice. Every man in our herd knew the truth of it.

We weren’t just told to withstand pain; we’d been beaten within an inch of our lives to learn the lesson. We weren’t just told to fight the hunger in our bellies; we’d been stripped of our food and forced to steal to survive.

I wondered what lesson Gaius intended to teach the boys.

“Bring forth the slave,” Gaius commanded.

Ian and Melias walked forward holding a smaller boy between them. The helot thrashed and tried to break free, but he was no match for their strength. Neither of my companions looked pleased. They neither smiled nor frowned. However, I caught a faint sorrow in Ian’s eyes.

Dirt covered the slave’s skin, as did cuts and bruises. He’d been beaten before being brought to the arena. He looked no older than the youths he’d been placed in front of, but he appeared just as terrified.

I knew his fate before Gaius spoke another word.

Gaius faced Haden, a cold smile still in place. “The slave you see before you has done no wrong. He was taken from the fields from which he worked and brought here.” A spear lay discarded in the dirt near his feet, and he stooped down to retrieve it before shoving it toward Haden. “Kill him.”

Axios tensed beside me, but when I glanced at him, his face remained emotionless.

Haden approached the slave, turning the spear in his hands. The years had made killers of us all. He’d killed helots, and so had the rest of us. It was part of life, and we knew better than to question it.

“Please don’t.” Tears streamed down the helot’s dirt-stained face. “I work hard in the fields each morn for Sparta. My mother is ailing, and I have a younger sister whom I watch over. They need me. Have mer—”

Haden thrust the spear forward, piercing the boy’s throat before drawing the weapon back. The helot fell to his knees, tears mixing with blood, before he collapsed face-first in the dirt. Blood pooled around his body.

There was silence.

A youth whimpered and stepped backward. Another trembled as tears shone in his eyes. A part of me pitied them. Soon, they’d be beaten and molded into soldiers. The compassion in their hearts from seeing the helot’s death would be torn from them just as everything else would be.

Haden released a shaky exhale, barely noticeable, and gave the spear to Gaius. He returned to his spot in line and faced ahead.

Again, I focused on Axios. In the past, he would’ve shaken with rage at the scene and cursed Gaius under his breath for being so cruel. But now? His eyes were empty pools. No sorrow. No anger. Only nothingness.

I disliked it. Even Haden had been affected by the death of the slave, a completely unjustified act, but Axios showed no signs of the compassionate man I’d come to love.

Axios told me once that I was the anchor that kept him from drifting out to sea. When he became lost in his head and started to float away with his dreams, I touched his hand and brought him back to earth. Where I kept him from flying away, he kept me from becoming a beast. I always felt as if I was battling with two sides of myself; the man and the warrior whose sole mission was to kill.

He kept the two sides balanced.

And now he needed me to do the same for him.

Come back to me,I thought as I lightly touched my hand to his.

Life returned to his eyes, and he pressed his hand closer to mine. I had reached him. Brought him back from the dark place in his mind.

Felix ordered two men from our herd to pick up the slave’s body and remove it from the arena.

“No, let him be a symbol of Spartan power,” Gaius said before they reached him, waving a hand at the dead boy at his feet. He kicked the body and grinned.

Felix shook his head and motioned to the men. “Take him away. Now.”

Gaius snarled as they obeyed Felix’s command.