Page 49 of Embers of You (Amity #1)

Sutton

Every day I find a note with a different type of flower.

Sometimes it’s at work, on my car, or outside of my house.

The notes have continued to be simple, mentioning a memory he has of us together.

Or something about me that he can’t stop thinking about.

They’re sweet and my resolve is weakening every time I find one, but I continue to stay strong.

Each new flower is added to my collection, and even as they fade I’m unable to throw any of them away. I’m also unable to part with the notes that have started piling up on my counter.

I know I should throw it all away—out of sight, out of mind—but I don’t. He also doesn’t reach out any other way. I have yet to see him or his name pop up on my phone.

Just the notes he never signs with his name and a flower.

I hate that I’ve come to anticipate them.

When I get to work, I search high and low for one.

If there’s nothing there, I look around when I get home.

Once I didn’t find anything right away, then, I saw it was tucked and somewhat hidden off to the side and the relief I felt has me worried because this whole moving on thing is clearly not going well.

I’m greeted by both Jerry Lee and Lily when I get to work, and I wish I could say the bird has let up on screaming Jameson’s name, but he hasn’t and I think he may actually be a little obsessed with the man.

I suggested an exorcist to Trish. She laughed it off, and I didn’t take that as a no. It turns out bird exorcisms are hard to come by, so I’ll be on the hunt to figure that out for a while.

“Your first appointment is already here,” Lily tells me over Jerry Lee’s barks.

“Wait what? I didn’t think I had a dog until ten thirty.” I grab my phone to check my schedule because I prefer to be here when my clients drop off, and I know it’s on me for not being early enough.

“Oh, this one wasn’t on your schedule.” Lily is biting back a smile and I narrow my eyes at her.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Her tone is not believable at all.

“Mhm,” I hum.

“Hot guy, Jameson,” Jerry Lee calls out, and Lily immediately turns toward him, murmuring threats of his imminent death and I have to laugh because I do the exact same thing.

“What’re you not telling me?” I question.

“Nothing. Oh, look at the time. I have work to do.” She rushes off into one of the other rooms in the salon and I know she’s hiding something.

I go back to the room with kennels and I see Duke’s familiar face. His tail wags as soon as he sees me and I shake my head, unable to hold back my smile at seeing him. I pet him, and he leans against me completely as I scratch his belly. “What do you have here, buddy?”

I take the note off his collar, similarly to what Jameson has done before. I’m a little hurt that there isn’t a flower to go along with this one, but I push that thought away. I unfold it, unable to wait to read more from the man I swear I’m going to forget at some point.

Duke loves and misses you. He would never forgive me if I didn’t do everything possible to try and get You to forgive me.

“Your dad is crazy, you know that?” I ask the sweet eyed Pit Bull.

I call out for Lily who peeks her head around the corner with a smirk. “Yes?”

“Did Jameson drop off his dog earlier?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“ You? ” I gasp in disbelief.

“Yes, me. I can keep a secret, believe it or not.”

I just give her an incredulous look.

“What?” she gasps. “I can. Like right now. Bye!”

I shake my head and look down at Duke. I might as well get him nice and pretty, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to be around when Jameson picks him up. As much as I’m insisting that I can move on from him, I feel like the second I see him, any hope of that will go out the window.

“Shut up, Vern!”

“Shut up, Jerry Lee!” Lily yells back and I sputter out a laugh.

Never a dull moment around here.

I can’t bring myself to reach out to Jameson once Duke is freshly bathed. His nails that had barely grown out are now as short as possible and I even put a cute flannel bandana on him. And just like the strong independent woman I am, I asked Lily to reach out to him.

Of course as the mature woman I am, as soon as the door opens and Jerry Lee greets whoever it is, I rush to the back. My excuse is to get Duke, but I fully intend on just letting him out to go to Jameson without me having to see him.

“Sutton, come out here,” Lily calls and I bite back a groan. I didn’t hear Jerry Lee announce the man’s presence, which is new for him.

“How do I look?” I ask Duke, but then shake my head. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. You’re my moral support, got it?”

He just looks up at me with his tongue sticking out.

I give him a thumbs up and open the door.

He rushes out, and I take my time. Though once I turn the corner, fully anticipating to see the tall, broad shouldered man who broke my heart, I’m met with a different firefighter.

This one is younger with sandy colored hair and a mustache he’s clearly attempting to grow that isn’t fully in.

“Uh, hi, Parker. What’re you doing here?” I look from him to Lily in confusion.

“I came to pick up this guy right here.” He pats Duke on the head, and my shoulders fall.

“Oh, why couldn’t Jameson?”

“Sorry if you were expecting him. He had some things to take care of, but he did want me to give you something.” He pulls out an azalea and hands it to me.

I can’t help my happy reaction to getting a flower, even though I shouldn’t be. I shut down that train of thought before it has a chance to spiral.

“This doesn’t count as payment, you know?”

He chuckles. “I know, he also sent cash.”

Parker hands over way too much, and I try to give back the extra, but he refuses to take it. I sigh, giving in once he’s practically out of the door. As soon as it closes, Lily looks at me with a mischievous look on her face.

“Please tell me he didn’t involve everyone in this town for whatever scheme he’s planning.”

“Like I said, I can keep some secrets,” she singsongs, practically skipping away from me.

The worst part is I’m already anticipating what note and flower tomorrow may bring.

It’s been a week since the first note and flower. Today is day eight and I’m officially conditioned to search for them. There was nothing at work today, so I anticipate when I get home what I’ll find, but there’s nothing. Unless he hid it extremely well.

I search for a decent amount of time and still find nothing. I guess a week of trying was his limit. Seven letters and seven flowers is where he draws the line. At first I’m disappointed he wouldn’t try a little more, but then I’m annoyed that’s all the time he was willing to give me.

Oh well, now I can really focus on actually moving on like I should have anyway.

My phone starts to ring and it’s an unfamiliar Washington number. I assume it’s a client wanting to make an appointment so I answer professionally.

“Hello, this is Sutton.”

“Hi, Sutton, honey.” The voice is one I recognize instantly as Emily. I’m instantly on alert, wondering why she would be calling me. Just like her son, she instantly eases my panic. “He’s fine, I’m calling for myself. I need some help and he’s on shift. I hate to ask, but would you mind coming by?”

“Of course, are you okay?”

“I am. I miss having you around, but I’ll see you soon?”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yeah, I’ll head over.”

“Thank you.”

I look at Bennet, and even he’s been moping around for the last week. “You want to go see your friend?”

He perks up, and I lead him out to my car where I take a deep breath before driving.

I’m a little worried about seeing the place where I felt my heart cracking as I left.

As I pull up, my nerves kick up even more.

I know she said Jameson was on shift, but I can’t be here without thinking about him.

He’s everywhere here, even after I park and step out into the fresh air, the cool weather reminding me how long I’ve been here as summer is starting to turn into fall.

I swear I get the faintest whiff of him, the slightly spicy scent that always clung to him along with the pine from the trees.

Emily steps out onto the porch, greeting me with a smile and I’m in awe of this woman. She’s fighting the battle of her life and just lost her husband, but she’s here smiling at me, and inviting me into her arms for a hug as soon as I’m up the steps.

“Hi sweetie,” she says softly before we part.

Bennet is already walking through the open front door searching for his friend.

“Come on in.” She guides me inside.

“What did you need help with?” I look around in case it’s completely obvious.

“Actually, it’s something out at the barn with the horses if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, I’m really not a professional with horses, I only rode one once.” I shake my head.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing you can’t handle. I would do it myself, but Jameson would throw a fit if he knew I went down there alone.”

“So you just need me with you?” I clarify. “Not that I mind because it’s really nice to see you again, but I’m just wondering why it couldn’t wait until he came back home.”

“We’ve been caring for a friend’s horse for the summer and they’re coming to get him tomorrow morning so I just want to make sure everything is together for him, and that he’s all clean and ready to go home.” She smiles, and I can see how genuine she is.

“Okay, do you want me to drive us down there?”

She waves me off. “Nonsense, it’s not that far of a walk and I want the fresh air.”

I nod, the sun is setting soon, but it’s mild out so the short walk may be pretty nice.

As we walk at her pace, she tells me stories about her and her late husband.

I bite back the tears that want to come, but she’s happily reminiscing so I let her.

I didn’t know the man very well and when I met him he seemed cold and detached, but hearing from her it’s obvious he was anything but when it came to his wife.

And somehow that gives me hope that everything is going to be okay for everyone.

As we approach the barn, she pauses her story. “Oh, I have something for you.” She reaches into the pocket of her cardigan and pulls out an envelope. My heart instantly kicks up in my chest as I look at the white piece of paper addressed to me.

“What’s that?”

“Open it and find out.”

I swallow, taking the paper with shaky hands and open it slowly.

We’re almost at the door to the barn, and all I can focus on is the paper.

The eighth letter I didn’t think I would be getting.

She steps ahead into the building, probably to get started on whatever it is she needs to do.

For some reason it doesn’t even cross my mind that this is a set up.

Not until I see the two words written on the paper.

Look Up.

When I do, all I see is Jameson.

He’s standing in the aisle of the barn, looking better than I even remember which seems impossible. He’s in dark jeans, a black T-shirt, with that familiar brown cowboy hat on his head, and a red rose in his hands. He steps toward me and I’m actually starting to wonder if I’m hallucinating.

“Sutton,” he says my name in that way he always does, his deep voice wrapping around the single word like it’s his favorite thing to say, and I love to hear it every single time he does.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He’s even closer now, so close I could reach out and touch him, but I won’t. I can’t. Somehow I find the ability to use my voice. “What’re you doing?”

“Have you been getting my notes?”

I nod, clutching the one I’m currently holding so I don’t do something crazy like grab him and slam our mouths together. But I won’t.

“How many have you gotten?” he questions.

“Um, eight.” I hold up the latest one.

“Have you noticed anything about these eight notes?”

I look down at the one in my hand, rereading it, trying to find some secret message hidden within the letters, but there’s nothing. I shake my head when I look back up to him.

He smirks. “That’s okay, put them together in order and see if you notice anything when you get back home.” He hands me the rose, and I take it trying to hide my trembling hand.

“Was this the only reason you got your mom to lure me out here?” I look down at the flower, the red petals looking healthy and vibrant.

“No. I wanted to tell you in person how sorry I am for pushing you away. I’m an idiot, and I knew the second you drove away I was making a mistake, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it.

I convinced myself it was best for you. That I wasn’t going to drag you down with me as I spiraled. ”

Somehow I find my strength once again, standing tall when I respond, “And who’s to say you won’t do that again the next time things get hard?”

“Me. I’m sorry that I made you question how I felt about you or doubt what we have between us.

I didn’t mean to hurt you. I really was convinced I was doing what’s best for you, but maybe I’m selfish.

Because even if being apart is what’s best for you, I can’t do it.

I need you in my life, baby. You are everything to me. ”

“Jameson.” I shake my head, and he cups my face, forcing me to look up to him.

“Put the notes together. Take the night to think about it, and if you don’t think we can make this work, then I’ll accept it. But if there’s even a chance of us being together, I’ll grab it with both hands and hold on for the rest of my life, because you’re it for me.”

“I’ll think about it, but you hurt me,” I tell him.

“I know, I’m so sorry. My fear was that I didn’t deserve you, and I know I don’t, especially not now. If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life working to make sure I do.”

“No promises.”

“Not asking for any. Yet.”

The three of us walk back to the main house, Jameson’s hand grazes mine as we walk, but he doesn’t make a move to touch me. He walks me to my car, Bennet jumping in and we say goodbye.

And still he doesn’t touch me. Not even as I climb into my driver’s seat and he shuts my door for me. I watch him in my rearview mirror as I drive away and unlike the last time I had this view, he doesn’t look worried or upset.

This time he has hope.

And yet as I leave, I notice the only thing he didn’t say were the three words that may have been the thing to completely win me over.