Page 14 of Embers of You (Amity #1)

Jameson

“She’s pretty,” Ma tells me once I come back into the barn.

“She is,” I agree, because there’s no use in denying it. Sutton’s gorgeous and anyone with eyes would say the same thing.

“Are you seeing her?”

I chuckle. “I’m trying.”

“Really?” She turns, suddenly very interested in this conversation with me, and I shake my head.

“She’s not giving me the time of day, don’t get too excited.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“I just tried to ask her out and she turned me down, Ma,” I tell her lightly.

“Well maybe it doesn’t have to do with you. Do you know why she moved here?”

Shaking my head. “She’s pretty closed off.”

“If anyone can make someone feel comfortable it’s you.” She smiles, and I know she means it.

“You have to say that, you’re my mom.”

“I’d still say it even if I wasn’t. Now, you better be done pretending to work down here.”

I bark out a laugh; I wasn’t pretending, not really. I cleaned the stalls, fed the horses, organized the hay up in the hay loft, made grain bags to make feeding the horses easier.

“I am, but I’m going to work Jasper a bit.”

She smiles. “Good. I can’t wait to hear how you do at the rodeo.”

Her comment takes me aback. “You aren’t going to be there?”

“I’m going to try, but crowds can be a lot for me, you know that, honey.”

I worry that she’s not voicing the real concern which is the ones I have about the amount of walking it would be for her. Neither of us say it because I know she would just tell me to shush and not to worry about her.

“How about you stick around and watch now then?” I suggest, and she smiles widely, agreeing easily.

While Ma sits on a bench outside the arena, I lunge Jasper before getting on him and running some barrels. At one point, I think I even notice my dad standing and watching me, but once I’m done with the run, he isn’t there anymore. Ma claps like I just put on a five-star performance.

“Call Sutton back over so she can watch you. If this doesn’t make her fall in love with you, then you really do have your work cut out for you.”

I laugh. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Well, it should be. I fell in love with your dad over something simple.”

I know their story. He worked at a candy store where she would stop by with her friends after school every day. He was in college while he worked there, and she was a senior in high school. She would get the same selection every time she went.

It didn’t take long for him to have her candy choices ready and waiting at the register for her.

Not unlike Sutton, she didn’t agree to go out with him right away either, but after she finally did the rest is history.

I can only hope if Sutton does ever agree to give me a chance, that our story can be half as beautiful as theirs.

Without the tragedy of the illness hanging over us all.

The reminder is a slap in the face to my reality of why I’m back in the first place. It doesn’t matter that she refuses to let us talk about how sick she is. It doesn’t eliminate the fact that it’s the truth.

“Run it again,” Ma calls out, pulling me from my negative thoughts. I get Jasper back into position to run the barrels again, because I’ll give Ma anything she wants while I still can.

Unfortunately, I know the one thing she wants more than anything else in the world is to see me fall in love, get married, and have kids. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to give her that in the time she has left.

On my days off, I need to find things to do around the property. I know if I don’t, I’ll just find myself going into town and making an excuse to go to the fire station on the off chance I’ll catch a glimpse of Sutton at the building next door.

Or I’ll end up bringing Duke to be bathed, even if she says he doesn’t need to be. Any chance I can see her, I want to grab a hold of.

Instead, I’m busying myself in every way I can.

I start with the horses, feeding them, sneaking them treats.

I clean out their stalls after turning them out into the pastures and then I work with Jasper.

After that, I find different odd jobs to do, trying to make sure my mom doesn’t notice because I know she’ll yell at me if she does.

I’m working on one of the dead tractors we have, trying to see if I can get it to run again when I hear someone approaching me. Since they don’t immediately start scolding me for working, I know who it is before I even look up.

When he doesn’t say anything for several minutes, I decide to break the silence.

“Can I help you?”

He doesn’t answer right away, and when I finally face him, he’s standing in the opening of the shop with his arms folded. “What’re you doing?”

“Trying to get this old thing to run again.”

“I’ve tried, it won’t.”

“Then why’s it still here?”

“Haven’t gotten around to getting rid of it.”

“If I can’t get it to run, then I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t.”

I narrow my eyes at his sharp tone. “Why can’t I help?”

“You wanted to leave, but now that you’re back you want to be helpful?”

I toss the tool in my hand down, standing up to face him. “Do you want me to apologize for getting out of here? For seeing what else is out there? Ma was never upset about it. She was happy for me. Why can’t you be the same?”

He doesn’t say anything, his jaw tics and I think he’s going to storm away, but he doesn’t.

“What is it? What is the reason you can’t be happy that I tried to find a life outside of this town? Why can’t you just be happy that I’m back?” I try again, attempting to get to the root of his resentment.

Instead of answering any of my questions, he grinds his teeth. “If you’re just going to leave again, don’t come back.”

He walks away, and I drop my head back looking up at the ceiling, frustrated at the divide that we have. And even more frustrated because I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it.