Page 30 of Drag You Down (Bloody Desires #2)

Gabriel had tried to explain the difference between what Zachariah had done and the spanking, but I hadn’t understood until right now.

I take another few steps back, ignoring the rising panic that comes from both the dim light of the first floor and the fact that I’m defying the man I’ve spent the past eight years obeying.

I can see it in his eyes when he realizes the mistake he made. He lunges toward me, but I evade him. “You will keep your mouth shut,” he hisses.

I shake my head and start running, Zachariah fast on my heels. For an old man, he’s surprisingly fit. Maybe all the whipping keeps him in shape, I think hysterically.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he shouts.

I spot Gabriel coming up the basement stairs. Eve is leaning against him, looking haggard. Her dress is soiled, and she can barely walk.

If Zachariah turns around, he’ll see them.

“Away from you!” I shout. “I’ll let the whole world know who you are, Zachariah Carpenter—or maybe Joshua Baker, or Gil Smith, or whatever other fucking name you’ve used!”

I can’t believe I cursed.

It works though. Zachariah keeps coming for me, and I lunge through the front door. He dashes after me.

The late hour means the streets are clear. I dash across the street, and Zachariah doesn’t even hesitate while chasing me.

There’s only one place I can think of to go.

I lead him toward the courtyard.

The same courtyard where I watched a man die, the one where I met my avenging angel.

I have to make sure Zachariah sees me shimmy my way between the buildings. He follows me, and I’m relieved beyond measure that he’s so wound up he doesn’t question where we’re going.

Once the space opens up, I turn around and wait for him. The lighting here is worse than at the apartment. Every shadow claws at my ankles, threatening to swallow me up. I turn my flashlight to Zachariah, whose face is warped with anger.

“Looks like you’re trapped,” Zachariah says. “You’ll have to beg and hope I’m merciful.”

He isn’t, though, and I’m well aware of that fact.

The thing is, I’m not sure I am either.

Not anymore.

My plan only led me this far, and now that he’s away from Eve, I don’t know what to do. If he attacks me physically, I have to be able to defend myself. I’m younger, stronger, and I… I don’t know what I’m doing.

My eyes flick past him, and I have to hope that my avenging angel — my Daddy — knows where to go to protect me once more.

“All these years,” Zachariah says, shaking his head. “You had a cushy life. You weren’t working, you weren’t tithing. I should have dumped you after your whore mother left me.”

“Don’t you dare call her a whore,” I snap at him, my anger chasing away some of the fear. “She was too good for you.”

Was she too good for me and Eve, too? Was that why she left?

I don’t need to be thinking about that right now, though. All I need to do is worry about stalling until Gabriel can arrive to save me.

Again.

But this time he won’t find me helpless and sobbing, having pissed my pants from fear and desperation alike. This time, he’ll find me standing tall.

Zachariah lunges for me, and instead of evading him, I grab his arm.

His eyes widen in surprise. He isn’t used to anyone fighting back.

I shove him as hard as I can against the brick wall. He gasps and lets out a cry of pain as his head slams against the wall.

“You don’t get to hurt me anymore!” I shout. I punch him in the stomach, but even though I want to hurt him, I slow myself at the last moment.

“Good,” a smooth, velvety voice says from behind me.

I turn around, and I see Gabriel standing there. He smiles at me, and it’s dark and terrifying and so, so beautiful.

Gabriel extends his hand to me. I look at it, at the small thing he’s holding out to me.

A knife.

“Make him bleed, my lamb,” Gabriel says. “Make him suffer, as you suffered.”

My hand is surprisingly steady as I take it from him. “Eve?” I ask, not recognizing the sound of my own voice. It’s harsh, distant, so unlike myself, but I don’t care.

If she’s not okay…

“She’s resting,” Gabriel says. He meets my eyes. “Her back was worse than yours.”

I stiffen, and my fingers clutch the knife more tightly. “You,” I say to Zachariah. “You hurt her. You hurt her !” I don’t understand how someone could ever hurt Eve, a gentle soul who only meant the best.

Maybe I was upset with her for getting him, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less. That doesn’t mean she deserves anything like this.

She only did what she was taught to do. What Zachariah pounded into our brains, through endless sermons and false penance and fear .

Because we were always afraid, weren’t we? We knew that disobedience would mean we’d be cast out on the streets once more, without food or money or any education.

He made us dependent on him.

He ruined us.

“I… I didn’t—” Zachariah shouts. “He’s lying! I barely even?—”

Gabriel closes in on us and wraps his hand around Zachariah’s throat. “No? Then why was her back covered in red? Why could she barely walk? Her mouth moved without words. That was a woman who had been tortured.”

Rage blinds me.

It’s one thing for him to have hurt me; it’s another entirely for him to have harmed her.

I pounce, and the knife slices along his bare arm.

Blood immediately wells up to the surface, and he cries out. I think he’s more startled than hurt, and that only enrages me more. I want to hurt him. I want to make him scream .

I hadn’t been there to protect her then, but I’ll protect her now.

I’ll make sure he never, ever hurts her — or anyone else — ever again.

“Gut him,” Gabriel commands, raising Zachariah’s shirt up. “Show him what sinners like him deserve.”

He’s worse than a sinner.

He’s a monster.

Maybe he’s the Devil I’ve been afraid of all along, in the guise of a man of God.

The knife is surprisingly light in my hand, but the edge is keen as I stab him the first time.

And the second.

Blood spills from the wounds, and I realize he’s screaming. It only spurs me on, and I stab him again.

And again.

“Shhh,” Gabriel says, covering Zachariah’s mouth. “You’ll wake the neighbors.”

The screams become muffled.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks, but I can’t bring myself to stop. I drag the blade all the way up to Zachariah’s rib cage, and then to the side. The scent of blood overwhelms everything else.

The red is on my hands, on my shirt. It splattered on Gabriel’s clothes too.

All while Zachariah makes pathetic noises against Gabriel’s hand. His eyes are filled with tears.

How often did I cry because of this man?

How many times did I sit in the dark, begging for forgiveness, wishing he’d chosen to whip me instead?

“This is what you deserve,” I snarl at him. “ Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth… wound for wound .” I look up at Gabriel, blinking several times to try to clear my vision. Blood drips steadily from the knife, and I stab Zachariah again.

He’s trying to scream, but Gabriel’s hand ensures that nothing but the smallest sounds escape.

I wish I could hear more.

“Beautiful,” Gabriel says, his voice rife with awe. “I knew you were the one for me, little lamb.”

I watch as Zachariah starts to slump, as Gabriel’s grip tightens on him. “Is that enough?” I ask him. “Will he…”

Will he descend to Hell, where he deserves to spend eternity after all he’s wrought upon others?

“It’s enough.” Gabriel lets go of Zachariah, and he falls to the ground, gasping and making incoherent sounds.

His arms twitch like he’s trying to move, but all I notice is the blood trickling out of him, and the gaping hole in his stomach.

It should make me nauseous.

I should be vomiting.

Gabriel places his bloody hands on my shoulders and kisses me soundly. I can taste Zachariah’s blood on his lips, and I moan into that flavor, the one I’ve always been fascinated by.

“You’re amazing,” Gabriel whispers. “My lamb, my wolf . You and me, together, will rid the world of the festering demons that plague it.”

“Demons like Father… Like Zachariah?” I ask, licking my lips. I should be repulsed by this, too, by the thought of dragging others down into the depths with me.

I’m not.

“Like him, and all others who would hurt the innocent,” Gabriel agrees.

I nod.

I think I like the idea of destroying those who would hurt others.

My erection, at least, says that I do.

I shiver. “We need to take care of… of the body,” I say, looking down at Zachariah. “And Eve.”

“I need to take care of you first, my lamb.” Gabriel kisses me again. “Tell me what you want, boy.”

“You,” I say, wrapping my arms around him. There’s so much I should be concerned about right now, but all I can think about is him — about giving and taking and losing myself in this moment. “Fuck me, Daddy.”

“Anything you desire.”

Those words reverberate through me.

Because of what they represent, because I know they’re the truth.

Gabriel really will give me everything I want and need.

And for once, I don’t feel guilty about taking it.