Page 28 of Drag You Down (Bloody Desires #2)

GAbrIEL

W hen I get home from work, my lamb is sitting on the couch, eating yogurt and watching TV. Ichabod has curled up on his side, enjoying the occasional pets.

I take my suit jacket off and lay it on the kitchen table, along with my tie and briefcase.

“What are you watching?” I ask as I walk over.

Levi startles at my question, sitting up and scaring Ichabod off the couch. “Oh. Um. A sermon. I didn’t know pastors had TV channels.”

I didn’t know my TV package came with a Bible channel, but I shouldn’t be surprised. I sit down next to Levi and stretch my arm out. He immediately fits himself against me, snuggling close.

“How was work?” Levi asks. “Did they get mad at you for missing so many days?”

I’d taken five days off in total, and I’d heard a lot of complaining from the people who had to cover for me. A few clients had sent angry emails too, demanding to know where I was and threatening to take their business to somebody else.

I have never cared less about their opinions.

“It was fine,” I say to Levi. “A few ruffled feathers, but nothing more.” I give him a quick kiss, then ask, “How is your back?”

“Better,” he reassures me. “I barely even feel it.”

I give him a stern look. “Is that the truth? Don’t strain yourself before you’re fully healed, or you’ll get…”

Even more scars.

His back will never be smooth and unblemished.

The simmering hatred for Zachariah Carpenter bubbles up again, familiar and almost comforting.

“I did it to myself,” he says.

That doesn’t help.

Levi must realize that from my expression, and he nibbles on his bottom lip. “It’s really okay, Daddy,” he says.

“It isn’t,” I argue. “Either way, you need to heal.”

I turn my attention to the TV, and my lip curls in disgust as the televangelist goes on about the sins of the modern world and God’s righteous fury.

“Do you think he’s wrong?” Levi asks after several moments of listening to his rant. “I’m not sure what I believe anymore.”

“I think if he truly wanted to help people, he wouldn’t be taking money from them,” I say, not bothering to hide my disdain. “Men and women like him, they preach loudly, demand tithes, and then live in their luxury mansions while the people who need them most starve and suffer.”

Levi exhales slowly. “Father Zachariah lives like we do,” he says quietly. “He makes sure we all have food and necessities, and he doesn’t take more than his fair share.” He pauses, then adds uncertainly, “At least, I don’t think so. He always seems to live simply.”

I snort in disbelief. “He owns the entire building. That’s more money than most people have. And the watch he wears is worth several thousand dollars.”

Levi blinks at me. “Why would he need a watch that expensive?” His eyes narrow at me. “You thought I did. The one you bought me wasn’t cheap either.”

I smile at him. “I want to give you nice things. You deserve them.” I lean in to kiss him briefly. “I don’t care about spending money for luxuries. I only care when people like him pretend to be righteous while stealing from their very flock.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” he asks abruptly. “For believing him, I mean.”

I shake my head. “No. Men like Zachariah, men like…” I bite my lip and say, “like the one on TV, they take advantage of those who are better than them.”

Levi scoffs. “I’m not better than he is.”

I touch his chin, tilting his head so he has no choice but to meet my eyes. “But you are, little lamb.”

He smiles, but I can tell it’s forced. “How do you know so much about these things? You know as much as I do.”

My breath hitches, and I want to deflect, I want to hide, but who, if not my lamb, deserves to hear the truth?

“My parents,” I say quietly. “They preached, like that man on TV is preaching. They spoke the words from the Bible and made me perform with them in front of crowds. I had to pretend I was sick or injured, then become miraculously cured during their little plays in front of hundreds of people.”

“But didn’t people catch on?” he asks, frowning. “If you pretended to be sick again and again?”

“We took turns, my brother and me. My mother would dye our hair or make us wear wigs. A few times, she had me dress up as a little girl.” I clench my fists. “And when we weren’t touring, we were forced to memorize scripture. If we did it wrong…” I look down at my hands.

There’s a faint scar near the lower knuckles from where the ruler had cut into me harder than usual.

“There were punishments,” I say. “But none as severe as what Zachariah did to you.”

Levi averts his eyes. “It was nothing more than I deserved,” he says.

“You did not deserve it!” I shout vehemently. “The only people who deserve punishment are those who would hurt the innocent!”

He jumps, his eyes going wide. “Gabriel—” he begins, only to cut himself off. He shakes his head, withdrawing from me a few inches. “You don’t understand. If I didn’t deserve it, if it was all for nothing, I…” He falters again. “I need to believe that I deserved it.”

“No.” I shake my head. “You were tortured and hurt because of that man’s sadism. He took pleasure in hurting you. I know that much.”

Because I know what it feels like, to see another person suffering and get off on it.

The darkness inside of me that has dogged my steps since childhood.

The only way I can control it is to direct where it goes.

I won’t hurt an innocent person like Levi.

But Zachariah Carpenter is far from innocent.

“Then that makes me weak,” Levi replies quietly. “That makes me stupid. I should’ve seen it. I should’ve taken Eve and left. But I didn’t have anywhere to go. I didn’t have anyone to turn to.” He meets my eyes, though there are tears welling up in his. “Until you.”

The mention of his sister has me seething again, but I know better than to suggest she is no better than Zachariah.

She was the one who’d told Zachariah about Levi’s transgressions, though.

She was the one who stood there and demanded he stay with the man who had tortured him.

When Levi told me how afraid he was of the dark, I’d gone out to buy nightlights for every single outlet in my condo. I would never force him to stay scared and hurt.

Levi needs comfort and nurturing.

“I will always be there for you,” I promise. “Your sister has made her choice, though. We can’t save everyone.”

No, I never save anyone.

I only avenge them after they’ve been hurt.

Levi is the first I’ve saved.

“If he’s so terrible, and what he’s doing is so terrible, why can’t we help them?” Levi asks. “You…” His voice falters again. “You’ve punished bad people. If he’s a bad person, why does he get to act free of consequences?”

Now I smile at him. “Oh, my lamb. I was never going to let him go unpunished.” I cup his chin in my hands and kiss him gently. “But caring for you will always come first.”

His expression is troubled as he searches my gaze. “What are you going to do to him?”

Carve him up.

Pull out his insides.

Make him scream and beg.

“Whatever he deserves,” I say, because I don’t want to scare my lamb. “He will never hurt anyone ever again.”

“He used to hurt our mom,” Levi says abruptly. “She left. She was there one night, then the next morning, we woke up, and she was gone.”

It’s the first piece of information about him that he’s given me.

“Your mother? Were you born into the cult?” But as soon as I ask, I know it doesn’t make sense. Zachariah was operating out of Calamity City fifteen years ago, and he’d been in jail for two years after that. Levi is young, but he isn’t that young.

“Cult,” Levi repeats. “It’s not a—” But he knows better.

He has to, because he cuts himself off again.

“No. It was like eight years ago. We weren’t doing so great.

We didn’t eat half the time. Mom couldn’t get a job, not with the two of us.

And one day, there he was, and she said it was divine intervention.

We moved in, and she eventually became one of his wives. ”

I wait for him to continue, and he manages a tight smile.

“She hated it,” he admits. “She regretted it. She tried not to show it, but she was chafing.” He shrugs, but the gesture is far from casual. “I guess she couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“So she abandoned you?” I ask. “She left you and your sister with that man who continued to abuse you?”

“It wasn’t abuse!” he bursts out fiercely. “She thought it was best for us, or she wouldn’t have left us there!”

“No!” I grip his arms. “Your mother brought you into that cult, then when it becomes too much for her, she leaves? She knew what he was doing, and she didn’t care enough to take you with her!”

He struggles against me, but I don’t release him. “What was she supposed to do with us? She already could barely take care of herself. She thought she was doing the right thing.”

Levi is lying to himself.

Over and over, he lies to protect those who have hurt him.

It makes me want to destroy them even more.

“How old were you when she left?” I ask. My fingers dig into his flesh.

He squirms. “You’re hurting me.”

I force myself to release him. He immediately slides away from me, leaving a large, empty space between us on the couch.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “But how old were you?”

At first, I don’t think he’s going to answer. The silence stretches out between us like a vast chasm.

“Sixteen,” he finally says, and while he’s trying to smile, he fails. “Eve was fourteen.”

Far too young to be left with a man like Zachariah Carpenter.

“If she’d taken you with her, you could have gotten a job,” I point out in a soft voice. “It would have been hard, but you weren’t helpless anymore. Between the two—three of you, it would have been possible.”

“She thought we were safe, I guess,” Levi says, but he sounds less convinced. More uncertain. Before I can speak, he quietly goes on, “But I guess she should’ve known that we weren’t if she didn’t feel like she was.”

“Zachariah probably went harder on both of you after she left,” I say. “To punish you for your mother’s crime.”

Levi’s expression goes blank. “He never touches Eve,” he says.

I frown. “Never?”

“No. Because she’s… she’s going to be his wife.” Levi swallows hard. “He always praises her piety.”

I stare at him, and I say, “So first he fucked your mother, and now he’s going for your sister? A woman who must be less than half his age?”

Levi’s expression stays neutral. “It’s an honor.” I’m about to lose my temper when he adds, “Or maybe it isn’t. I don’t know , Gabriel. Daddy. It’s what she wants.”

Maybe it’s what she deserves, after how she turned on Levi.

I turn my attention back to the TV. “Then we can leave it at that.”

Levi follows my gaze to the TV, where the pastor is continuing to rant. “But I don’t want to abandon her.” He swallows hard. “She doesn’t deserve to have that happen twice.”

“Will she want to leave?” I ask seriously. “She seemed even more dedicated than you.”

“I’ll have to convince her,” he says. “I don’t know how. But she’ll have to see the truth.” He looks at me, then scoots closer to me again. “Do you think I can?”

I open my arms for him, and he seems relieved by the gesture. He slides into the space and rests his head against my chest.

I’m sure the only times he’s had disagreements with others, they always ended badly for him.

“I’ll help you, if that’s what you want,” I say, although I would rather throw Eve into a pit and keep Levi entirely to myself.

Part of me is aware that Eve is as much a victim as Levi, but my emotions don’t care. She hurt Levi, and I want to destroy her for it.

There’s no need to scare Levi with the depths of my emotions.

I kiss his cheek. “If we need to tear Eve out of there kicking and screaming, we will.”

Levi nods. “I’ll get her to listen,” he promises. “But then… Where will she go? What will she do?” He bites his lip. “What am I going to do?”

“You’ll be with me,” I say earnestly. “And I can afford to get Eve her own apartment.”

I’ll get her a small one, far outside of the city, where there is no chance she can bother me and Levi.

“But what am I going to do?” he presses. “When you’re working, when you’re out with friends?”

Nothing. Stay safe here, in my condo, where none of the wretches of the world can touch him.

That attitude has gotten me in trouble before.

I smile as best I can. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” he says slowly. “I guess it’s time to figure that out, isn’t it?” He huffs out a small, self-deprecating laugh. “Something other than watching preachers on TV and reading the Bible.”

“I will support whatever you choose,” I say.

As long as I can keep watching him. As long as I always know where he is.

I’ll keep him safe.

And the first step to that is getting rid of Zachariah Carpenter.

“We can retrieve Eve tomorrow evening,” I say. “I just need to pick up a few supplies.”

Zachariah will not survive to the weekend.

Levi looks at me, his eyes searching mine, then he slowly nods.

He knows what’s coming, and he’s not trying to protect Zachariah.

Good.

I’ll make sure that con man never hurts him ever again.