Page 17 of Drag You Down (Bloody Desires #2)

LEVI

G abriel guides me back into the bedroom with a hand on the small of my back.

I’m keenly aware of my nudity, and of the fact that he’s fully dressed. The imbalance is striking, but I’m terrified that if I see what’s beneath his clothing, I might be tempted to do things I shouldn’t even think about.

Things I shouldn’t want to do.

“Lay down on the bed, on your back,” Gabriel says. “I’ll show you more pleasure than any other person ever has, my lamb. You’ll never want to go back to any other lover.”

Go back .

I stare up at him with wide eyes. Does he think I’ve known pleasure by any hand other than my own? Does he think I’ve dared ?

I’ve never been interested in women, and men…

It’s beyond forbidden.

Unease threatens to erase some of the arousal.

Pleasure is a trap. Worldly sensations are a trap.

But I want it.

I want him.

I go to the bed, lying down, and I watch him warily.

Gabriel smiles at me and begins to pull his shirt off—his ridiculous costume, the one that let him pretend to be a building inspector.

My mouth goes dry as he reveals an expanse of muscle and hair, all leading down into his pants. I don’t dare lower my gaze more, because if I see an obvious tent there, I don’t know what I’ll do.

“Shall I start by sucking you, boy?” Gabriel asks with casual dominance. “I’ve always enjoyed bringing a boy to tears with pleasure.”

I’ve cried while touching myself before, but never because of pleasure.

No, it’s always because of shame and pain and misery.

This is all new, all strange, and I don’t know what to do with all of these words.

“I’ve never—” I blurt out, my cheeks flaming hotly. “I mean, I haven’t. There haven’t been lovers at all.”

Gabriel stops moving, and I wrap my arms around myself in shame.

It should be a good thing. I was saving myself for marriage—marriage that I would never have. Yet now I wonder about how I’ll fail him. If I don’t perform the way he wants, will he cast me aside?

“You’re… you’re a virgin?” Gabriel whispers.

He climbs onto the bed and grips my shoulders.

Before I can react, he presses his lips to mine, desperate and possessing, like he can’t get enough of me.

I part my lips for him and let him take from me, not sure about this reaction but letting myself get swept away in it.

I whimper when he nips at my lower lip and pulls away.

“You saved yourself for me,” Gabriel says with awe. “My beautiful, perfect lamb.”

Did I avoid temptation all of this time only to surrender to this avenging angel?

For a moment, I think that he’s simply going to defile me and be done with me, but something within, something fiercer, insists that he’s going to take me over and over again, to make me reach new heights each time.

How have I gone from being so terrified to yearning so deeply?

Gabriel slides down the mattress and presses a soft kiss to my thigh. “Unblemished. Untouched. Mine .”

The words send butterflies fluttering through my stomach. I should protest, refute the words, remind myself that I’m still not sure he’s not of the Devil after all.

Instead, the word mine goes straight to my cock, and I bite my lip to hold back a whimper.

His mouth moves from my thigh to the tip of my cock, and I suddenly have an embarrassing vision of spending too early and ruining the entire moment. I clutch the sheets, whimpering, as his warm tongue swirls around the tip.

I have never felt anything like this. My hand had no way to replicate the sensation of another person doing this for me, another person willing to get their mouth on my cock and kiss it and lick it and worship it.

Because that’s what he’s doing.

It isn’t a simple debasement. Gabriel gets my cock wet and blows across the slick skin, sending cool gusts of pleasure through me. I draw my thighs together, but he holds them down and kisses, licks, sucks all in concert, driving me out of my mind.

I bite my lip to stop myself from making any embarrassing noises, but a small groan escapes despite myself.

Gabriel sits up and meets my gaze. “You can be as loud as you want, my lamb. The walls are very soundproof.”

Even accepting pleasure is difficult enough as it is. I’m so used to being as quiet as I can, to avoiding letting anyone know what I’m doing, that the idea of adding noises to it makes it even more daunting. I quickly shake my head.

Gabriel smiles and takes my cock in his hand, squeezing gently. “I won’t continue until I hear your beautiful voice.”

“I don’t think I can,” I whisper, blinking back tears at the idea of this wonderful moment coming to a close — at the knowledge that once it ends, that’s it. It’s done. No matter what he says, this has to be a one-time thing. I’ll return to Father Zachariah and pretend this never happened.

“That sounds like a challenge.” Gabriel sits up, and I watch as he undoes his belt and lowers his pants and underwear.

I choke back a cry when I see his cock.

It’s so large , nestled in a thick patch of hair. His legs are as hairy as his chest, none of which I would have guessed from his clean shaved face.

Gabriel discards the rest of his clothes and crawls back toward me, lying almost entirely on top of me. I’m surrounded by his warmth.

The heat of Hell?—

Or the warmth of Heaven.

“Shh. There’s no need to hold back with me,” Gabriel murmurs, kissing my jaw.

His erection rubs against mine, and I almost come from that sensation alone. All of this is so much better than my hand could ever be, than the sensation of rubbing against my scratchy sheets.

“I’m afraid,” I admit, my anxiety ratcheting up as I make the confession.

Gabriel’s movements still. “Of me?”

“No,” I say, and it isn’t until I utter the word that I realize it’s true.

I’m not afraid of him.

I’m afraid of temptation.

I’m afraid of what this means for me.

I’m afraid of this pleasure, of knowing I’ll never feel it again.

Gabriel presses another kiss to my lips. “Whatever it is, I’ll get you through it. Nobody will ever hurt you again, little lamb. You’re mine, now. My boy.”

My insistence to myself that this is a one-time thing, that it’ll last no longer than today, falters as I realize he means it.

He’s claimed me as thoroughly as if I’ve chosen to steep my life in sin.

Worse, I want it . I want him to get me through this with as much patience and care as he’s been showing. I want to be safe and protected.

I want to be his little lamb. His boy.

I want all of it.

“Daddy,” I whisper, and Gabriel groans in turn, kissing me again.

Our erections rub against each other, and I will come from this.

But I want more.

“Please,” I say when he breaks the kiss. “Can you… I know…”

How do I tell him my deepest desires, the strange thoughts that sometimes plagued me in the night. The shame I feel even mentioning it.

“Can I what?” Gabriel prompts. He reaches between us and strokes my cock gently.

I try to swallow my sounds, but a whimper escapes nonetheless. “The thing men do. When they… The sin of Sodom.”

I’m not prepared for Gabriel’s loud moan.

“You call me tempting, little lamb, but it’s you who’s tempting your Daddy,” Gabriel says. He leans in to suck on my neck. “I was going to wait, after you told me you’re unspoiled. But I would love to claim you like that.”

I want to know what it feels like.

I want to know what this sin feels like, this sin they call an abomination.

I want to know why men do it anyway.

I nod, and I carefully reach up to touch him — his shoulders first, then down his arms before sliding them to his back. He’s undeniably male , everything I’ve fantasized about so many times.

And he wants me to be his.

I think that maybe I want him to be mine, too.

Gabriel gives me one more brief kiss before he pulls away from me. I grip his shoulders to keep him in place, and he laughs but shakes his head.

“I need to grab the lube, boy. I don’t want to hurt you, especially not your first time.”

His thoughtfulness isn’t a surprise, not when he’s been so intent upon being gentle with me, and I watch him as he moves to the bedside table and opens the drawer.

I want to reach down and touch myself, but will he think I’m too lewd if I do? Too impatient? Will he change his mind about wanting me?

I grab the blankets instead, twisting the sheets in my hands, to keep myself from touching my erection.

Gabriel returns to me, this time settling between my legs. His large hands urge my thighs up. “Spread for me, boy. Show Daddy your hole.”

The crude word makes me blush, makes me hesitate, but even though it’s filthy, it’s titillating, too. I spread my legs more, trusting him despite the part of my mind that’s still coherent enough to question why I’m letting a man touch me — let alone a killer.

An avenging angel.

The Devil.

My Daddy.

I know there’s significance in his use of the word Daddy , but I don’t understand it. All I know is that it suffuses me with warmth and comfort, even if I’m not sure what to make of all of this.

Of any of this.

“Like this?” I ask, biting my bottom lip.

“Exactly like this,” Gabriel says, leaning down.

I watch, uncomprehending, as he kisses the sensitive skin of my hole.

And I yelp, my entire body flushing with embarrassment.

“You… you can’t!” I protest, pulling at his shoulders.

Gabriel smiles up at me. “I’m the Daddy here. Trust me to make you feel good, little lamb.”

He leans back down, his tongue wet and warm against the rim of my hole, and I shudder from humiliation and strange pleasure alike.

I want to tell him to stop.

I want him to give me more.

“It’s dirty,” I say weakly, but I spread my legs wider, completely contradicting my words.

“I just bathed you,” Gabriel points out before going in to suck on the sensitive skin again.

I cover my face with my hands. I can’t believe he’s doing this. I can’t believe I’m enjoying it.

My erection bounces against my stomach, smearing drops of precum.