Page 5

Dozer

I leaned against the door jamb of the bedroom. Pike’s swollen face had turned ten shades of purple. His lips, stained with blood, trembled in his sleep. Whoever jumped him fucked him up.

My gaze drifted down the hall. Romeo and Pippa had been in his room long enough to know he was fucking her while my friend writhed on a bed in a heroin euphoria. Tomorrow, he’d fight the reckoning of the drug while his body crashed into the beating he’d suffered.

Blade approached me.

“This is fucked up, Blade.”

He clasped my shoulder. “We need to talk, but not here.”

“We need to do more than talk? If you’re not ready to retaliate against those fuckers, tell me now.”

“I know he’s your friend.”

“Fuck that. He’s a member of this club.” I glared into his face. “I know you had a problem with Pike. That shit was settled in the basement.”

We used a large room in the basement, once the center for after service fellowship, to beat the shit out of each other. I’d gotten my ass handed to me enough times to learn when to duck and when to pound my opponent to the ground.

Usually, we sparred like we were in an MMA ring. Occasionally, the fight was less about sparring and more about settling a score. Pike had gone to Razor with information on Hana. Blade had seen it as a betrayal. To earn Blade’s respect and to be worthy of his patch, they’d fought. Blade destroyed him and claimed to clean the slate.

As president, Blade needed to lead. That meant evening the score with the Crawlers.

“Retaliation will come,” he seethed, “when I say. My beef is with the Crawlers, not Pike. But I’m not trading one problem for another.”

“Too late. They brought the problem to our fucking doorstep.”

He dropped his hand from my shoulder and closed the space between us. His breath was hot on my face. “Dozer, I need you. We have the girls in the MC now. We’ve got the cops sniffing around, and this shit with your old man isn’t settled. We don’t need the trouble. I know you’re pissed. I’m pissed, but we have to be smart.”

I was pissed. Pissed that Romeo was more worried about his dick than his MC brother. I didn’t want to think about Pippa. Fuck. I didn’t have a right to be, but I was pissed at her, too. I needed an outlet, someone to play with in the basement.

“Have you seen Bullet?”

Blade stored his hands in his pockets. “Out front with Sully and Elvis. ”

Tension coiled like a snake in my gut, its poison flowing hot through my veins. I crossed the room and headed for the door.

Levi rushed to my side. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing you want to know about.”

She grabbed my arm. “I know that look. Dozer, what’s wrong?”

I shrugged off her touch. “What the fuck is right?”

Outside, Bullet chatted with Rogue, Sully, and several other guys.

Rogue acknowledged me with a nod. “How’s Tank? I heard you went for a visit.”

“He’s great,” I lied.

If they wanted to know, they could haul their asses down to county and subject themselves to the scrutiny of the assholes ensuring my old man had a five-star experience in a six by nine.

“Anyone interested in heading down to the basement?”

A glint reflected in Bullet’s eyes. “Let’s go.”

“Dozer, please.” Levi blocked my way and placed her hand on my stomach. Concern shown in her eyes. “I hate when you fight.”

“Then stay out of the basement.”

“This is about Pippa,” she said. “Hurting yourself isn’t going to hurt her.”

“Stay out of it,” I said, brushing past her.

“I can’t. You hurt. I hurt.”

“Nah, we don’t feel shit, Levi.” Lies. I felt too much, and fighting forced those emotions back where they belonged, to fester in the darkness of my soul .

Levi threw open the door and stormed over to Jazzy. “He’s fighting,” she hissed. “For that bitch.”

I ignored Levi and headed to the basement. She viewed Pippa through the fog of jealousy. So did I. Raw need clawed at me. Friends, I’d told Pippa. For the first time, friends was another F-word fucking up my life.

In the basement, I shrugged off my cut and hung it over a stack of crates in the corner. Fighting in the basement wasn’t the gentleman’s sport of boxing. We didn’t wear gloves and wait for a bell. There were no rules about illegal maneuvers.

Bullet tossed his cut to Rogue, took two steps toward me, and swung.

I dodged the blow but missed seeing the hard left. Pain exploded in my jaw.

Pippa, with her legs spread.

I railed into Bullet with a solid strike to his mouth.

He lunged back and spit blood on the floor. “Someone is pissed. Take it out on me, then we’ll take it out on the Crawlers.”

Fuck the Crawlers.

Pippa with her tongue in Romeo’s mouth. Another strike.

They’d pay. Today, my thoughts swirled around Pippa. Her back arched and her body shattered . The mewling whimpers, the breathy exhales.

I charged Bullet, landing a flurry of punches, not caring where I hit. In my rage, I stopped seeing Bullet. Hate surged, a tidal wave of chaos, frustration, and regrets .

Stronger and faster, he overpowered me. I felt the blows of his bare fists battering my body the way I felt Pippa’s lips hover over mine as we shared breath, getting high off each other.

Pain knifed through my chest, not from the punches but from seeing her in my mind as she followed Romeo into his room, away from me.

With a surge of adrenaline, I slammed my fist into Bullet’s face. Chills shivered over me as sweat slicked my flesh. Blood and tears blurred my eyes. Another punch crunched into my face.

Rejection cut deep.

Slam.

Stars burst behind my eyes. The room spun.

Words, a scream, ripped through my mind. A slur of fear and anger. I tried to focus. Fuck. Pippa was here. She covered her mouth with her hand. Romeo stood behind her with a hand on her hip.

I pivoted to Bullet, catching him off guard. With a hard swing, I connected with his face. Pain exploded in my hand. My knuckles split. Bullet cursed as blood gushed from his nose and mouth.

“Fuck, Dozer.” He wiped his nose, smearing blood across his face. He bent at the waist.

“Are you good now?” Blade asked me, and he handed us each a towel.

“Yeah. Thanks.” I wiped my face and head.

Bullet wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Fuck, I hope you feel better because that last one is going to leave a mark.”

Not better, just a different kind of pain. I glanced to Pippa, but she was gone. Romeo stood next to Jazzy .

“That’s the first time I’ve seen anyone get one over on Bullet,” Romeo said. “I think you look worse, but he’s definitely taking that one home as a loss.”

“Can you give us a minute?” I asked Jazzy.

She nodded and made her way over to Bullet and Rogue.

“I wanted to apologize.” I blotted more blood from my face.

He pulled a cigarette from his pack and offered it to me.

“Thanks,” I said. He lit mine then his own.

“She’s not like us, Dozer. She’s not from the streets. Her family is solid, she goes to school, and she fucking speaks fluent Italian. I’ve never seen her lose her temper. She doesn’t fight.”

“She laughs a lot.” I took a drag off the cigarette.

Romeo leaned back against the wall. “She’s not clingy, not looking for a boyfriend, and not interested in being my girlfriend. But I like being around her. I don’t want to stop seeing her.”

My gut clenched.

Romeo’s gaze locked on mine. “But I will. You’re my brother. Patch before pussy. I’m just having fun, and so is she. I like her, but I don’t want anything, especially a girl, to come between us.”

It was too late. She’d already come between us. “Where is she?”

“She’s not a fan of fight club.”

Before I could take a step, he blocked my path. He lowered his voice. “She told me what happened. You and I are good. As for Pip, I don’t have any claim on her. ”

I released a heavy exhale. “Neither do I.”

Romeo hauled me close and kissed my temple. “I think we need a drink.”

We returned to the chapel. Bullet sat with Blade and Rogue. I plopped onto a chair at their table.

“I looked at the books,” Blade said. “If we have any chance of setting the club right, we’re going to need an income stream. The bar isn’t going to cut it. Razor’s appetite welcomed the wrong kind of hang-arounds.”

“Lee is looking for parts,” Rogue said.

Blade leaned back in his chair and nodded. His gaze drifted to Hana. She sat with Levi and Jazzy.

I swiveled my head right then left. “Where’s Pippa?”

Romeo set a beer in front of me. “Haven’t seen her since she came up.” He strode over to the table and spoke to Hana.

I joined him.

“She left,” he said to me.

“With who?” Because she’d gotten to the club on the back of my bike. I’d anticipated getting her home the same way.

Hana’s brows furrowed. “None of your business. She’s a big girl and can take care of herself.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” I braced a hand on the table and leaned into her. “Have you seen Pike? She’s a target if she’s with the Hellers.”

“You’re still bleeding,” she snapped.

I slicked my tongue across my lip, tasting the coppery blood oozing from the corner of my mouth .

“She’s not you, Hana,” I said. “Unlike you, she doesn’t carry a knife in her boot or pick fights with Crawlers and jocks in bars.”

“She called a ride share and went home, asshole.” A smile curled her lips, and her voice lowered. “You seem concerned about my girl. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“I know chicks can’t keep a secret.”

“I don’t know,” she countered. “She’s kept mine, and I’d never share hers.”

“She has secrets?” I lifted a brow. Maybe I was one of them.

“Every girl has secrets.” She tipped her beer to her lips.

“I don’t have her number. Can you text her and make sure she got home?”

“Since you asked nice and because I think she’s fucking lying to me about you. Both of you are full of shit.” Hana pulled her phone from her pocket. I shifted closer and read over her shoulder.

Hana: Are you home?

Pippa: Yes. How bad is it?

Hana lifted her phone and quickly snapped my picture. “My words would fail to deliver the impact Bullet’s fists had on your face.”

Pippa: WTF!

“She’s concerned.” She held the phone to show me the last text message.

My lip was split. I was going to be sporting some serious bruises for a few days. A dull throb numbed my face. “Tell her it looks worse than it feels.”

“Nah, fuck that. Pain is ripping you apart. You are seriously near tears. You need to learn. We are weak when our guys are hurting.” She glanced over my shoulder at Blade. “Emotionally damaged is even better, and you’re about as fucked up as Blade.”

I laughed. And I never laughed. “Does anyone tell you that you’re just like your brother?”

“Everyone. But don’t tell Vance. He’s in denial.”

“Thanks, Hana.” I moved to step away.

I didn’t know Hana well. Her brother was one of my best friends. Because of him, I’d protect her from anyone who tried to hurt her.

Blade would crawl through fire for her.

I recognized the difference. I’d burn for Pippa.

“Dozer?” She rested a hand on my forearm.

“Don’t worry,” I said to her. My phone pinged. I pulled it from my pocket. Hana had shared Pippa’s contact information. I leaned in to kiss her cheek.

She put a hand against my chest to stop me from reaching her face. “Fuck no, you are a bloody mess. You can get me another beer instead.”

“Fuck that,” I said. “Rule one, prospects get the beers.”

“Rule two,” she said. “When my favorite song comes on, even bloody, brooding assholes have to dance.”

Who was I to argue the rules? I had Pippa’s number in my phone, and her best friend all but confirmed I was her secret. I followed her into the middle of the room to dance among the tables.

Pipp a

A crash sounded. My eyes snapped open. Breath froze. I held perfectly still, listening. Blood roared through my ears. Panic tasted bitter in my mouth. I scrambled from the bed and grabbed the baseball bat from just inside my closet.

Holy shit. I tried to take a breath, but my lungs wouldn’t expand. This sucked—the rush of anxiety, the blur of thoughts, and the flush of heat.

I pressed my back against the wall. The silent alarm would trigger an alert, Gabi would see the cameras, and the police would be here in time to collect my body.

“Fuck. Shit.” The light in the kitchen turned on. Light seeped from beneath the edge of the door.

Burglars, murderers, and thugs didn’t crash into tables and turn on the lights.

I hung onto the bat and threw open the door. I knew a certain Heller who considered breaking and entering the same as ringing the doorbell.

Dozer stumbled into my kitchen from the garage, glanced at me, and stilled.

“I don’t think I can take another beating,” he said.

“Why didn’t you knock on the door?”

“Because it’s late. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

I could drive cars through the holes in his logic. “Scaring me awake is much better.”

I ran my fingers through my hair, pushing my bangs from my face. My pulse slipped into a pace that might win marathons but wouldn’t cause my death.

“What are you doing here besides bleeding on the floor? ”

He climbed onto a chair. Blood trickled along his forearm from a gash. I grabbed a tea towel and handed it to him.

“I’ll replace your window tomorrow. I broke it forcing it open.”

My phone chirped from my bedroom. “Wait here. Wave to the camera,” I said as I walked to my room.

“Does he have a problem with doors?” Gabriella asked as soon as I answered.

“Sorry. Did we wake you?” I walked back to the kitchen while I spoke to her.

“Yes, and Vance who is ready to clobber Dozer except it looks like someone has already beaten the crap out of him.”

I could hear Vance grumbling in the background about the time. “Tell him I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to him by not making anything to eat for the shower this weekend.”

Gabriella relayed my words to him. “You’re forgiven. Tell Dozer to use the door.”

I hung up and set the phone on the table.

Dozer checked to see if the bleeding had stopped.

“Why are you here, Dozer? I’m not a Heller hook up. If you want to get laid, get on Tinder.”

He braced his elbows on his knees and rubbed blood from his knuckles. “I wouldn’t expect you to be in Romeo’s bed this afternoon and mine tonight.”

“I wasn’t in Romeo’s bed this afternoon. Not for sex anyway. We went to his room for privacy to talk. The chapel was packed. Pike was hurt. I’d just arrived at the clubhouse on your bike, saw Romeo with Levi, and I could see the hurt on her face, and I was drowning in guilt because I’d used his body to fuck you. Sorry if I didn’t want to have my confessions to Romeo in front of the chapel.”

“Christ.” He rubbed his hands over his head.

Blood crusted in his eyebrows and around his ears. Dark blue and purple shadowed his eyes. He licked a deep split on his lip.

“You’re a mess. Come on,” I said and held my hand out to him. “You can take a shower.”

He stood, towering over me with his wide shoulders, thick thighs, and rugged strength. His gaze set fire to my flesh as he followed the deep V of my T-shirt. Without a bra, my nipples tightened and prodded against the soft cotton. Warmth and butterflies swirled in my belly.

“I didn’t come here for a fuck,” he softly said as his calloused fingers curled around mine. “Maybe a fuck but mostly because I need to be near you.”

If I hadn’t wanted to sleep with him before, those words sent a fiery sizzle straight into my clit. Those warm butterflies fluttered until they ignited into a red hot want to slip into Dozer’s dark and tortured eyes.

He took a step, stumbled, and crushed me against the wall. His lips were close to mine. Breath mingled, his with the intoxicating scent of whiskey, weed, and cigarettes.

Dio mio. My god, his sweet talk was drunk talk.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, burrowed into my neck, and sniffed my skin. “You’re good, Pip. So good. You even smile when you sleep. ”

I wasn’t good. I trembled with his touch. “How would you know? We’ve never slept together.”

“I’m always watching you.”

He wasn’t kissing me, but his lips lingered on my skin. His warm breath touched me more intimately than his mouth or hands ever could.

We stumbled down the hall. “Why did you fight tonight?”

He stepped back and tunneled his hand into my hair. He rubbed the strands between his fingers. His eyes darkened, and his jaw clenched.

“Because I’m not good. A man can dwell in the night, cloaked in the shadows, and still be jealous of the stars. A woman is a spark of light,” he said and touched my lips. “But getting too close risks watching her become the sun.”

My throat thickened with desire. He was speaking about us, his words of poetry near my ear. “It’s lonely in the dark.”

His hand fell away. “It would be for you.”

Embers of heat burned in his eyes. I wanted his hands on me, wanted him to push me against the wall, and take what we both desperately craved. Whatever rage and desire blurred in his mind, I ached for it.

“You should go back to bed,” he said.

“You need someone to help you.”

“Nah, I’ll just grab a shower and crash on your couch.” He leaned against the wall and bent to untie his boot. He slid, losing his balance and caught his fall with a hand to the vanity.

“You never should have driven over here.” I braced him against the wall. “I know Hellers don’t care about blurring the legal lines,” I pressed closer to him. “ but if you ever want me on the back of your bike again, promise me you won’t drink and drive.”

“Promise.”

I nodded, dropped to my knees, tugged the knot, and loosened the laces on his boots.

“I didn’t drive.” His hands twisted in my hair, curling into fists. My scalp tingled as he tightened his hold, forcing me higher, to be level with his groin. “And you shouldn’t be on your knees.”

Tipping my head back, I stared into his face. “You need help getting undressed.”

“I’m hard.”

I cocked a brow. “I know.”

Loose jeans couldn’t conceal the firm bulge of his erection. He was also drunk, high, and bloody. I grabbed the heel of his boot and tapped his thigh with my palm. “But you need help. Step out.”

Dozer stepped out of his boots. I peeled his socks down and off. Touching his feet shouldn’t have been the most intimate moment I’d ever shared with a man. Our quiet breaths echoed in my small bathroom.

Remaining on my knees, I wanted him to imagine I wasn’t tugging his belt to help him shower after a brutal fight, but that I was sliding the leather free from the loops of his jeans because I wanted him naked and sliding over the rim of my lips.

Saliva pooled in my mouth. I swallowed, and my heart hurt as it slammed around in my chest. I gulped for a breath. What was I doing? Everything about me and Dozer felt right, except that it wasn’t.

He was fighting in the basement and fighting his feelings for me.

His hand covered mine. “I can do the rest. ”

I stood, then bent over the tub to turn on the water and pulled the lever to start the shower. When I turned, Dozer flinched as he tried to shrug out of his cut.

By the etch of pain across his face, getting blown might be too much for him.

I dried my hands on a towel. When I rested my hands on his chest, he quivered beneath my fingertips. Soft cotton hid what my palms gently explored through his T-shirt—smooth, chiseled pectorals, ribbed lats, and corded abdominals.

My thumbs grazed the center of his chest, trekking the line of his sternum until I slid my hands under the leather of his cut and slipped it down his arms. I laid it on the vanity.

“I’m going to see you naked,” I said and smiled. I fingered the hem of his T-shirt and tugged. He winced as he lifted his arms.

I was in a freefall, tumbling in a mental cage. My wings had been clipped, but I still wanted to fly. I ached to touch him in ways that would fill me with guilt.

He drew in a sharp inhale as I pulled the snap on his jeans.

Dozer closed his eyes and swayed. The whir of his zipper lowering sent chills along my spine. Sliding my hands down his hips, I shoved his jeans and briefs to the floor.

I stared at his cock as it stretched toward me, beautifully built with veins roping the thick shaft. Clear fluids seeped from the wide, blunt head.

“You’re killing me, Pippa.” He held onto me as he stepped over the edge of the tub and beneath the hot spray. Before I could step back, he grasped me around the waist and pulled me into the shower with him.

Rivulets of bloody water cascaded down his torso as the shower rained over him. He held me as he tipped his bruised face to the spray.

Then his gaze met mine. Now soaked, my T-shirt clung to my hard and aching nipples. I wiped water from my eyes and pushed my hair back away from my face.

Fully dressed, I was exposed. Water made the thin cotton of my shirt transparent. The linen shorts plastered to my hips, revealing the pink scrap of lace masquerading as panties.

We stared at each other, the tension growing thick between us. He braced one hand on the wall for balance and the other roamed over his torso.

“Dozer?” I didn’t know how to read him. Was the hard line of his mouth was desire or anger? Muscles bunched and flexed as his gazed raked every inch of me.

“Touch yourself.”

“What?”

He leaned into me, his whiskey-laced breath making me want his kiss with the same dangerous want I had for his dick.

“Put your hands on your tits because I’m going to rub one out while you make yourself come.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. Inside, I trembled both from the words he spoke and the way he said them.

“Show me how you touch yourself when it’s just you, alone in your bed. ”

Still wearing my soaked shirt, I slowly trailed my fingers over my belly. Tingles raced over my shivering flesh. I stepped beneath the spray and cupped my breasts, lifting them and gently pinching and rolling the puckered tips between my fingers and thumbs.

“Now harder, Pippa. I wouldn’t be gentle.”

I twisted my nipples, whimpering with the painful pleasure. He wanted to see me come apart. I slid my right hand into my panties and grazed my clit.

“If you’re not going to touch me, make me come with words, Dozer.”

He fisted his cock. “I want you afraid of falling,” he whispered. “But more afraid that if you don’t jump with me,” his breath was warm on my face, “I’ll shove you over the edge.”

I sucked in a breath as I neared that edge. Either way, I was trapped in this dark obsession of getting deeper inside each other. My eyes slid closed.

“And it has nothing to do with how hard I can fuck you. When I split your legs, I’ll have my hands around your neck and my cock buried so deep you’ll never get me out.”

My eyes snapped open, and my gaze locked on his. He stroked his cock, and I frantically rubbed my clit, careening toward an orgasm. My legs trembled, and my body crested.

Dozer groaned and squeezed his dick. I sank my teeth into my lower lip as I shattered with a dizzying climax. Ripples of release melted my muscles. Fluids gushed onto my fingers. I sank to the bottom of the tub, my legs too weak to hold me.

“Pip. ”

My name was on his lips as he fucked his fist. A low growl rolled from his chest and crawled over me in dark abrading desire.

“Pippa, fuck.” He jolted with thick ropes of cum jetting from his dick, splashing me, trickling over his fist, and washing away in the heat and water of the shower.

He bowed his head, one arm still braced on the shower wall. I hurt because he hurt. I wanted to hurt with him.

Dozer dropped to the bottom of the tub. I slid into his arms and held him. We didn’t speak. I barely breathed. I settled into the rise and fall of his chest, and the warmth of his arms around me.

Kiss me. Please let this be about us and not me.

When the water turned cold, Dozer reached around me and turned the handles. Silence weaved between us.

“Dozer?”

“You need to get some sleep.” He pushed away, stood, and stepped out of the tub, leaving me soaking wet, cold, and unsure.

“Towels?” he asked.

I pointed to the cupboard beneath the sink. He handed me one first, then wrapped one around his waist.

“Is it okay if I sleep on the couch?” he asked and grabbed his clothes.

I slowly stood, my clothes dripping wet, my hair plastered to my head, and my heart in my throat. “I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket.”

He nodded and slipped out of the bathroom.

I stripped and left my wet clothes in the tub .

Clearly, Dozer had more issues than wanting me to come in front of him. Watching me masturbate was a substitute for intimacy.

Dozer didn’t have walls. He was a menacing Doberman behind razor wire and chain link. He could get to me and make me crave him, a blind woman reaching for his shadow. I wasn’t going to be allowed to touch him, not the way I wanted. Not the way he had rolled over me like an approaching thunderstorm threatening rain, thunder, and total devastation.