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Dozer

Being left alone wasn’t the same as wanting to be alone. Most of the time, I wanted to be left alone. Like tonight. I wasn’t good company. Not surprising since I didn’t like people enough to surround myself with them.

Yet, I was a patched member of a motorcycle club. Part of a brotherhood, whatever the fuck that meant. Family was a foul fucking F-word in my world. Other F-words that didn’t mean shit were fidelity, faith, and forgiveness.

Maybe there were a few positive F-words like father, fucking, and fellatio. But I wasn’t my father. He looked for the good in people, especially in my mother. Faye was at the top of the fuck-all F-word list. I knew the truth. People sucked. My advice, fuck ‘em.

Music and raucous laughter filtered into the night air. I should be in the chapel of the Heller Raiders MC. Today, one of my best friends, Blade became president of our club.

His old man had to die for him to inherit the throne. Razor had chased the dragon until the dragon slayed him. Some of the old timers would miss him. I wouldn’t, and neither would Blade. Razor was responsible for my old man sitting in lockup. He’d nearly destroyed the club with his heroin addiction.

I wasn’t sure Blade could save it. As much as I hated people, I loved Blade. One more for the F-word list—friends. I could count mine on one hand. Blade, Romeo, Jazzy, Levi, and Kiss. We all grew up in the MC.

Fuck, I missed Shae. We called her Kiss because when we were kids, she let us practice kissing her using our tongues. Now, she was in the Pacific Northwest at a rehab. Maybe this time she’d get clean.

Ninety days would give her a chance, and with Razor dead, he wouldn’t be able to tangle her up in addiction again. She’d still have her fucked up relationship with Romeo. She’d fallen in too deep, and Romeo… In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, “ Muddy the water, to make it seem deep .” The quote might have had a little more to it. So did Romeo.

Not that I needed to call him shallow. He pursued pussy with purpose. I loved my MC brother. He was smart as fuck. One day, he’d figure out he had more to offer than his dick.

I wandered deeper into the shadows of the old church grounds. The chapel served as the Heller Raider’s clubhouse. When we were kids, we converted an old mausoleum out back into our playhouse.

How would we change now that Blade was president?

I sat on the broken and cracked stone step of the playhouse and pulled a blunt from my pocket.

“Come on.” I recognized the flirtatious, bubbly voice approaching .

Pippa . Romeo’s latest lay. My gut tightened. Jealousy was a dangerous friend, a secret lover whispering to me in the dark. There was something about a spark of light that I wanted to snuff out. Tingles chased along my spine. Pippa was a radiant fucking light. And yeah, I wanted to cloak her in my darkness.

The thing about light was that it burned brightest in the dark.

I stood from the steps and shifted into the shadows of the overgrowth and trees. I squatted on my haunches, leaned against the rough bark, and ran a hand over my shaved head.

The full moon created a milky glow around the playhouse. Pippa giggled as she tugged on Romeo’s belt with one hand. Her other held a bottle of beer. She fucking giggled. The blithesome, social butterfly sprinkled her magical, happy, fairy dust with her smile. Those full lips smiled all the time.

“Are you going to dirty me up?”

Romeo couldn’t, not the way I would. Romeo was like Pippa. Fucking happy all the time. I had a black heart and a black soul. I was the epitome of dark and dirty.

My cock thickened as Pippa stumbled, dropping to her luscious ass on the steps of the playhouse. Romeo followed her down. He chuckled as he reached between her legs.

She dropped her beer bottle as his fingers disappeared inside of her.

“Fuck, you’re wet.”

How wet? Was her cream thick and tangy or slick and salty? I salivated for a taste. I wanted more than a taste. I’d creep inside her head and twist her thoughts. I’d make her want things she shouldn’t. Then I’d shred her cunt, ruin her for anyone else because, once I had her, I’d slither into her psyche and make her crave—make her crave me. I’d become her addiction. Just as she’d become mine.

She lifted her hips, and Romeo tugged her panties down her legs. Leaning back on her elbows, she spread her thighs.

My nostrils flared as if I could drink in her scent. Her head fell back, and she moaned as Romeo closed his mouth over her pussy and tasted her sweetness.

“Count it down, baby.”

Pippa squeezed her big, beautiful tit, pinching and rolling the nipple through her shirt. “One,” she whispered as she licked her lip.

I reached my hand into my jeans and adjusted my cock. Perhaps I should feel guilty. I could slip away before either noticed me. But I remained rooted to the spot because I wanted to watch her come apart. Fuck, she was beautiful.

Long, dark, curly hair. Big tits, a tiny waist, and hips perfect for gripping. Her Italian features cut a sharp angle to her jaw. And her lips, fuck, but those lips haunted my fantasies.

“Eighteen, nineteen.” Her voice grew higher. Her gasps came closer together. “Ah. Can’t count. Twenty-five.” She shuddered, her back bowed, and a cry of release rent the air. “ Dio mio . Oh my god.”

Romeo continued to lash at her pussy as her hips bucked against his mouth .

“No more.” She gripped his hair, hauled him up, and kissed him.

“I love your pussy.”

“Ah, such pretty words from a pretty boy.” She threaded her fingers through his hair.

“You love this pretty boy between your thighs.”

She flicked her tongue against his chin. “I do, but you’re getting slow.”

Romeo worked his jeans open. “Or are you getting harder to please?”

“You just aren’t used to a challenge. You’re so freaking pretty that girls fall to their feet…or should I say they drop to their knees?”

“What more do you want?” Romeo braced on his knees and rolled a condom onto his dick.

My heart pounded as he prepared to pound into my secret obsession.

She braced her hands on his hips. “I want you to—”

Romeo thrust into her, cutting off her words, and ripping a moan from her throat.

I slipped my lighter from my pocket. I waited, wanting her to know I was here. She clung to his shoulders with her smooth thighs bound tight to Romeo’s hips.

Her face turned in my direction as Romeo sucked her neck. I cupped my hands to dim the flare of the flame. I inhaled, igniting the paper, and releasing the first curl of smoke. Pot got me through the day. Tonight, I needed to be high to endure her shuddering with pleasure .

Her gaze focused on the flicker of my blunt as I sucked in another long pull. The weed crackled and singed, the ember tip glowing as it burned.

She stilled, her gaze unwavering, focused intently on my face. Electric current, charged by the shadows and the secret we were forging as I watched Romeo fuck her, arced between us.

Romeo lifted and braced on outstretched arms. “Are you okay?”

I held my breath, waiting.

“Yes, you feel good. Don’t stop.” She pulled him down and kissed his lips, sliding her tongue into his mouth. Her body rolled, fucking him with her hips and mouth.

She lifted her thighs higher on his flanks, and her hands gripped his ass. “So good, Romeo. Oh god.”

She arched and turned her head to find me in the dark. I took a long drag, brightening the tip of the blunt.

Our gazes locked. Pippa sucked in a breath, and I held mine then released the thin coil of smoke to loop and twist into the night air.

Romeo continued to thrust into her. I stared at her, imagining the feel of her rippling and wet pussy. I wanted her, gloved around my cock, her soft body surrendering to the hard thrust of mine.

I dragged my thumb across my lower lip. Her gaze followed my hand as I raked it across my T-shirt-clad chest and down my abs.

Moonlight painted her face in shadows and light as she sank her teeth into her lower lip.

I pressed my palm against my dick .

“I’m coming,” she cried as her back arched. Lashes fluttered, and her eyes closed as she clung to Romeo, her fingers digging into him.

“Fuck.” He growled, thrust once more, then stilled as he rode his climax and finally collapsed on top of her.

She found me in the dark again. I stood. My jaw clenched, and her gaze narrowed. Romeo might have fucked her, but she was with me when she came.

Pippa

Holy crap. My heart raced, and it had nothing to do with the orgasm still rippling through my pussy. That was a lie. One of many I’ve told myself since the night at Blade’s apartment when Dozer’s stare had hit with the impact of a head on collision.

The truth was that he scared me. His intensity made me think naughty thoughts. But I was sleeping with his best friend. On the first night we’d met, I’d become a Romeo slut. I suspected I was one of many for him, but I didn’t care.

I’d dated, mostly short-term, guys that thought my pussy was the fastest way into my dad’s business. Not that I slept with them. Actually, I could count the number of guys I’d been with on one hand.

I’d call it limited experience because I was tired of being used. I hadn’t planned on becoming the one only interested in sex, but I’d never had someone so beautifully bad want me. It had been an easy slide into whatever this was with Romeo .

I wasn’t delusional. It wasn’t a relationship. It wasn’t dating. But clearly more than friendship since I’d become addicted to getting orgasms from him.

But I had something with Dozer, too. I just wasn’t sure what it was. Whatever built between us wasn’t going to be easy. Not with the way he looked at me. And he was always looking at me.

Sometimes sparks of longing shimmered in his eyes, and other times I was sure he’d hurt me if given the chance. The sick part…I wanted to find out.

Not that it would matter. Dozer was committed to Levi. She was always tucked up next to him. Those arms, tatted and muscular, wrapped around her as he whispered in her ear. The lucky bitch.

“Pip, is something wrong?” Romeo stripped off the condom, stuffed it into my beer bottle, and then tucked his dick back into his jeans.

“I’m good.” I pulled on my panties, but my gaze searched the darkness. He’d been here. He’d watched. My cheeks burned. If I claimed to be embarrassed or pissed, I’d just be telling myself more lies.

Truth. Knowing he was there spiraled a swirling vortex of lust and possessiveness through me. I was bleeding want and need. I didn’t want to be drawn to him like he was my true north, guiding me down a pathway of destruction. There was something dark and dangerous about him, something so different than Romeo.

I’d never cheated on a boyfriend, but with Dozer, I’d become something in-between. He blurred my personal compass. I had no right to him. He wasn’t mine. Other than a few occasions, we hadn’t spent much time together. Yet when he was in the room, I always felt his gaze on me, like he stripped my layers of bullshit and saw to the raw, ugly parts hidden beneath the tits and hair.

Sex with Romeo was fun. He made me laugh. I didn’t realize how dirty I’d feel knowing Dozer watched. Dirty and desired. Remembering had my pussy wet again. My chest tightened with my shallow breaths. I’d wanted Dozer to see Romeo thrust deep inside me. I wanted him to wish he was the one between my thighs, eating me. I wanted him to want me.

But he had Levi. I smiled at the man next to me. And I was something with Romeo.

He dropped down on the stoop beside me and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Come on, talk to me, Pip.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder. “What are we, Romeo?”

He growled and slapped his hand over his heart. “Fuck me, don’t tell me you’re finally catching feels for me?”

I shoved him. “I’m glad feels are the only thing I’ve caught from you. You’re such a manwhore.”

He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. “Seriously, what’s this about?”

I gnawed my lip. “Would we be friends if we weren’t sleepover friends?”

“Sleepover? We don’t sleep, Pip. We fuck.”

That was sort of the point I was trying to make. If I had to choose between friends or lovers, I’d choose friends. The MC wasn’t my future. Unlike my best friend, Hana, who now wore a Property of Blade patch on the back of a cut, I would never be anyone’s old lady.

Contrary to my large Italian family, I had no intention of getting married and populating the planet with mini me’s.

“We’re friends, baby.” He picked up my hand and kissed my fingertips.

“So just a slap on the ass and a see you later?”

He laughed and stood, bringing me with him. “Your best friend and mine are reason enough for us to remain friends.”

He held my hand and, with the other, carried the beer bottle.

I had a few ex-boyfriends, and I wasn’t friends with the guys I’d slept with. I avoided them. I’d rather not spend my life looking in the rearview mirror to see who I’d left behind—or who had left me behind.

“What’s got you worried, Pip?”

“I’m always with Hana.” And Hana was always with Blade. Romeo would never be in my rearview mirror.

He led me toward the clubhouse. “Are you worried about cramping my social life?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Not really.” He backed me against the wall. “Are you worried about me fucking other girls?”

I swallowed. “Are you worried I’ll sleep with other guys?”

“Fuck, Pip, you can if you want. I don’t do the girlfriend/boyfriend thing. Is that what you want?”

Damn, he was beautiful. Piercing green eyes, hard angles to his jaw, and a body like an amusement park with dips and peaks to make my tummy tumble. But to say he was everything I’d want in a boyfriend would also be more lies.

“No.” I ran my fingers under his cut, resting my hands on his hips. “It’s not that. I just don’t know how I’d feel to see you with another girl.”

“Don’t worry.” He kissed my neck. “No fucking girls in front of you.”

I closed my eyes, but all I could see in the darkness behind my lids was Dozer’s penetrating gaze. I’d spread my legs for Romeo, shattered in his mouth.

Dozer had been there, watching me come. My pussy clenched, and my nipples tightened.

“No snacking on pussy in front of me either.”

“No promises.” He laughed against my flesh. The rumble released a flurry of butterflies in my belly.

“I’ll remember that the next time I want to take someone out to dinner.”

He released me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Fuck, I think maybe I’m a bad influence on you.”

He’d have to get in line behind Hana, my brother Diego, my sister Gabi, and her former Heller boyfriend Vance.

We entered the chapel. The room was crowded. Hana, Levi, and Jazzy danced in the center of the room, beer bottles in their hands, and hair flipping to the music.

“My girls are partying without me,” I said.

Romeo gripped my jaw, kissed me hard, then smiled against my lips. “We good?”

“I’d say we’re good friends.”

I swiveled my way onto the dance floor and wrapped my arms around my best friend. The best thing to ever happen to me was my sister climbing onto the back of a bad boy’s motorcycle because this amazing girl had come into my life.

Vance and Gabi were dangerously bound together. I wanted that wild, reckless love that flared hot and scorched my soul. I wanted to be destroyed with a fierce passion, to be the object of someone’s lust. Just me, not what they could get from me.

I searched the room for Romeo. He was a cool drink on a summer day, refreshingly light.

Hair prickled the back of my neck. My pulse hiccupped then rabbited in my chest. I felt his stare. Unlike Romeo, Dozer simmered in an intoxicating cocktail of quiet strength and darkness. Even during the day, he seemed to be cast in shadow.

A flush warmed me. I couldn’t think of Dozer and not feel hot and needy. I wrapped my arms around Hana and ground my body against hers.

Hana drank her beer, then handed it to me. I finished it.

“Where’d you go?” she asked.

“Romeo wanted a snack.”

“You’re officially a Heller whore. Fucking your man at the MC.” Hana laughed and shimmied down my body.

“He’s not my man.”

Hana put her hand on my ass. “Because you’re my bitch.”

“You’re going to give these old timers a heart attack.”

I pivoted, rolling my hips into Hana’s. When I lifted my head, my gaze locked with glinting, mysterious eyes in the dimness .

My breath caught. Heart shaped lips that never smiled closed around a cigarette. His jaw clenched as his focus drilled into me. Maybe he didn’t want me near his girlfriend. Levi had her eyes closed as she swayed to the music.

“Has anyone ever watched you have sex?” I asked Hana.

Hana stilled. “Not that I know of. Why? What have you heard?”

“Nothing. Would you?”

“I guess you haven’t met my boyfriend.”

I laughed. “Right. He’s a bit possessive.”

“I doubt he’d fight you,” Hana said. “Should we put it to the test?”

Before I could process her words, she wound her arms around my neck and crashed her lips into mine. Holy shit.

Jazzy squealed, and I gasped. Hana’s tongue was in my mouth. We stopped dancing…and continued to kiss.

More lies. I wasn’t kissing Hana. Maybe I was. Hana was definitely kissing me. And Dozer was there, leaning against the wall to see it all. My nipples hardened. I moaned and fisted my hands in her hair. Lust motivated me. Not for my best friend, but for the man who caused an icy shiver over my flesh.

Or maybe I wanted him to burn the way I did. Jealousy crushed my soul in her unrelenting grip. He had Levi, and when it came to Dozer, I’d tucked my feelings deep in my chest. A flicker of a blunt, in the quiet of night, had my chest ripped open.

“Totally hot.” Romeo had his hands on my hips .

“I think our girls are drunk.” Blade’s words cut through the fog of my drunken best friend binge.

I’d been drunk many times, and never had my tongue in Hana’s mouth.

I smiled at her. “Am I going to get my ass kicked now?”

She laughed. “I don’t think so considering what Blade has pressed against my ass. And I don’t think he wants an audience for what he’s going to do to me.”

Blade had his arms around her and backed her toward the rear of the church where some of the members rented bedrooms.

Something was wrong with me. I wanted Romeo as my friend and my lover. I spun in his arms and glanced over his shoulder expecting to see Dozer. He’d left…and so had Levi. My throat thickened with guilt because my heart pounded with a perilous lustful need for Dozer. Once again, I forced those feelings deep, so deep they wouldn’t hurt.

Dozer had Levi, and I had my sleepover friend Romeo.