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Pippa

I checked my phone. First day of school and he was back to sending me messages. A few weeks ago, I’d blocked my professor’s number thinking that would be the end of his interest in rekindling our association for this semester. I could admit now, sleeping with him was more than a minor mistake.

“He needs to go away,” I said to my phone and blocked the new number.

Three texts from Hana pinged my phone. She’d gone from concerned to pissed back to concerned. She was going back to pissed when she realized I’d overslept. Blame Dozer. I’d had zero hours of sleep. Technically, I’d tossed and turned for the last two, but most of those were tainted by images of Dozer.

Once we’d gone back into the clubhouse, I hadn’t been able to get back into bed with Romeo. I’d stared at his sleeping profile. I’d never known a more beautiful man, open and fun, with no expectations. We were having uncomplicated sex. I needed a bit of uncomplicated in my life.

I had a feeling Dozer was going to be the complete opposite.

Like an enigma ghosting through my thoughts, Dozer balanced me on the edge of reason. He stopped my breath, made cracks in my light because he basked in darkness. With a single night and a few whispered words, he’d polluted the air I needed to breathe with daring wants.

My phone pinged again.

Hana: Blade is taking me to class. Please don’t be dead. TTYL

Crap.

Pip: Sorry.

Hana: Lunch in the Union Center?

I sent her the thumbs up emoji.

No time for a shower, no time for coffee, and no time to worry about how I looked. I grabbed my hobo bag, grabbed my keys, waved to the security camera in case Gabi was watching, and then I rushed into the garage.

It still seemed strange to live in my own space. No hovering mother, controlling father, or bitching sister. The bitching sister would be Claudia, not Gabi.

Gabriella had let me move into her house. Now that she lived with her fiancé, I had run of the three-bedroom, two-bathroom rambler. Not that it was a problem, but certainly an inconvenience, the house had a state-of-the-art security system. Twenty-four-hour surveillance.

Had I known, there wouldn’t be X-rated personal porn from the cameras on my sister’s cloud. My thoughts crashed into Dozer. He’d enjoy some of the more adventurous encounters. Ugh. I was in trouble.

I hauled ass to campus and was rewarded—that was sarcasm—with a parking spot ten minutes from the lecture hall. I ran in my canvas kicks, but I was still breathless and five minutes late to class as I searched for an empty seat.

There was a seat…next to a familiar pissed off girl. Levi lifted her backpack and set it in the empty chair next to her.

I made my walk of shame to the front of the class and sat directly in front of the professor. “Sorry,” I whispered, setting my backpack between my feet.

First assignment of the semester—get my shit together.

I tried to focus on expectations for general astronomy. I wasn’t all that interested in orbital gravity, distant galaxies, or the expanding universe. Not when my personal life seemed to be shrinking into the dark hole of sex, weed, and weekend binges.

Guilt warmed my chest, rose higher, and tightened my throat. I didn’t have to turn around to feel Levi’s stare drilling into the back of my head. Before last night, I wasn’t sure why she hated me, but considering the only two areas of friction, it would have to be Romeo or Dozer.

She had a reason to now. There were three men in her life. My best friend had Blade, and I had Romeo. And after last night, Dozer had me. I could feel the talons of his words digging into my chest and ripping it apart. He was going to crawl inside me because I wanted more of what he promised.

I thought I’d hidden my attraction for Dozer with my public displays of affection with Romeo. I’m sure that made me a skank. Except that I really liked Romeo. Liked being the highlight in that statement. I wasn’t catching hardcore feelings, but I was comfortable in our relationship .

He gave me lots of orgasms, and I didn’t get clingy.

After class, I picked up my backpack. Levi waited in her seat. As I approached, she picked up her bag and, without a word to me, slipped into the exodus of students. Sadly, I was relieved because I wasn’t one for confrontation, and I suspected she’d have a lot to say to me given the chance.

With a few minutes before my next class, I sat at a table and opened my laptop.

“Hey, Pipsqueak.”

I lifted my gaze and rolled my eyes at Greyson Cooper, running back of the Eminence University Rooks football team. He could be a royal douche, but he was my brother’s best friend. Not that he started out as Diego’s friend. He was mine. Even though Diego was a few years older, they’d bonded over football. Diego had played football in high school and for the Rooks. Greyson Cooper had NFL dreams.

“Leave me alone, Coop.”

“Can’t. I’m doing a deep dive on you for Diego.” He wagged his brows. “I asked him how deep I could go, considering you’re his sister.”

“I hope he kicked your ass.” I stuffed my laptop back into my bag.

“He can kick mine because he knows I’ll kiss yours.”

“I’ll pass. Who knows where your lips have been?” I stood and slung my bag over my shoulder. “I’ve got to get to class.”

He scrambled to catch up to me. “Listen, I’m not going to rat you out. You can do what you want. But since you moved out, your dad is busting Diego’s ass to find out why you’re never home. You know your mom.”

I did. Since my recently married, Italian sister had one kid and another on the way, my mom was perpetually worried I was a period away from being knocked up, too. Misogynistic in his ways, but my dad believed I needed a man. He’d practically promised me to one of his business partner’s sons.

“So, who is the guy?” he asked again.

“No guys, no problems, just busy getting settled in Gabi’s house.”

“I heard. When is the party?”

“Never.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “I’m going home this weekend. Mom is giving Claudia a baby shower. Baby Gio is going to be a big brother for baby girl Pisano.”

“Bring a boyfriend and get them off my back. I’m not really interested in being your babysitter unless you need a spanking.” He laughed, then turned and jogged away.

I rushed to Easton Hall for my next class and counted down the minutes to lunch. Hana was waiting for me in the commons. I sent her a text saying that I was on my way.

“Sorry about this morning,” I said.

She gathered her stuff. “I was just worried about you. I thought you’d still be at the MC.”

I shook my head. “Last night was…complicated. I just wanted to get home and clear my head. Romeo was passed out when I called a ride share. Do you want to get something to eat?”

Her lips twitched. “Blade needs to go to his mom’s. He wants me to go with him. I don’t think he likes being alone with her. He thinks she’s staying clean, but who knows? Anyway, there is a shit ton to do with Razor’s death. Not just club business, but all the legal stuff that needs filled out when someone dies. He’s going to pick me up on his bike.”

We walked across campus in the direction of my car. “Do you know why Levi hates me?”

Hana bit her lip.

“What? She’s always with Dozer. She spent last night in his bed.”

“She wasn’t fucking him. Dozer doesn’t want Levi, not like that. He’s been staring at someone else.”

My heartbeat stuttered. Those words shouldn’t affect me, but they did. “He had his hands on her.”

Hana raised a brow. “Bitch, you better start talking. Why do you care? You’re with Romeo.”

I choked on a flood of anxiety, a wave with the power to pull me under, to drown me. I held Hana’s hand and pulled her to the bus bench next to the street.

“Last night, Dozer sort of watched me and Romeo.”

“What do you mean sort of?”

“Okay, so he watched.” I could tell Hana anything. She wouldn’t judge, and she’d never tell my secrets. “And I’m not mad. I knew he was there.”

“What about Romeo?”

“I like him. He makes me laugh. He’s so freaking good in bed. We have fun, but Dozer does something to me. I can’t stop thinking about him. God, I am a Heller whore.”

“Now you know why Levi hates you. You have Romeo, and she sees the way Dozer looks at you. She’s in love with one, and best friends with the other. ”

I pulled my knees into my chest. “Which one is she in love with?”

“The one everyone falls in love with.”

Romeo. “Except me.”

Hana smiled. “Except you.”

Her phone pinged. “Blade is here.”

“I’m in lot C.” We continued walking. “Maybe I should just put some distance between me and the Hellers and focus on school.”

“Pippa, you can do that if you want. Just remember, giving up Romeo won’t make him magically fall for Levi. They’ve had their entire lives to find something more than friendship.”

“And Dozer?”

“Fuck, girl, I have no idea. He’s like a prairie vole with Levi. Some weird mating that doesn’t include sex.”

Maybe he just wanted to watch her have sex with someone else. We stopped at my vehicle.

Hana tossed her books in the backseat. “I’ll swing over later and grab them.”

I nodded as I plucked a note from my windshield.

I’ve missed you. When can I see you again? Q.

Hana read over my shoulder. “Who is that from?”

“Quinn Chambers. He was my accounting professor. We had a thing last semester. I guess blocking his number and deleting his emails didn’t clue him in that I’m done.” I flipped over the note written on school stationary. “He’s persistent.”

“Keep the notes. If he doesn’t get the message go to his Dean. ”

I snorted, opened my glovebox, and shoved it next to the vehicle owner’s manual and the extra garage door clicker. “He is the new Dean of Engineering, Applied Science & Technology. Don’t worry. He’s harmless.”

The roar of a motorcycle drew Hana’s attention. Blade rode into the lot and stopped behind my car.

“Ready?” he asked her as he dropped the kickstand with his boot.

Hana rose onto her tiptoes, leaned into him, and twisted her lips against his. Blade cupped the back of her head and possessively kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth.

I stared. Her fingers curled into his cut, and a soft moan slipped from her lips. A shiver slithered down my spine, and heat bloomed in my belly, radiating into my limps, and seeping lower. My pussy clenched on a rush of wetness.

My gaze drifted to Blade’s crotch. His dick stretched the fabric. I’d become Dozer, imagining Blade lifting Hana onto his lap, driving his cock into her.

I sucked in a breath, refocusing on Hana.

She stared at me. “Are you okay?”

I swallowed the extra saliva in my mouth and tossed my hobo bag into the car. “I’ll see you later.”

I wasn’t fine. I was a hot, turned-on mess, and it was all Dozer’s fault.

Dozer

A couple weeks ago, the MC made a deal with the Ortiz Caribbean Cartel to distribute heroin. I knew my old man was against the idea. He’d served twenty years in the military. He did the duty, service, and sacrifice for his country. Now, he did the same sacrifices for the MC.

That night, Texas had taken a bullet to the chest. No way was he going to make it without medical. But taking him to the hospital with a 9mm slug in the chest was going to cause questions from law enforcement.

My old man lived the motto— no man left behind . He’d been in lockup since, and I was fulfilling the promise I’d made before he drove into a shit storm of legal trouble. I’d take care of Mom.

Only problem, and the most fucked up part, was the same problem Faye always had. She already had someone taking care of her. This week his name was Steve.

Texas hadn’t made it. Dad had his arraignment, and the charges went from weapon violations to murder. We all pulled the trigger that night. Dad hadn’t killed Texas, but there had been dead bodies littering that container yard.

My dad—everyone called him Tank—had pleaded not guilty. William Banks, Willy, had promised the murder charge wouldn’t stick, but my dad could still do time on the weapons charges.

I’d learn more today. Prepare for the shit show . My mom and I had a scheduled visit in county for this morning.

I spent most of my nights in the MC. Once Levi had left my bed and headed to school, I’d crawled my ass into the shower, grabbed a cup of coffee, then headed to my mom’s place .

I rode my bike through the morning crush of cars. Mom lived in an older part of town. Nice neighborhood. Life was pretty good growing up when we were all together.

But my dad was Special Forces. He was never home for more than six months before another overseas deployment took him away again.

He’d leave in the morning, and by afternoon, Faye would have a friend to comfort her. Once I was old enough to understand, my simmering sentiments boiled into a red-hot rage.

I told my dad about the men. The fucker smiled. He knew. He fucking took the blame. He’d chosen the guys in his unit. Whatever she needed to get her through the separation was fine with him. Even if that meant another asshole getting their dick wet in his wife.

So much for the code of not touching someone else’s old lady.

I rode into the driveway and rested my bike next to a hybrid compact with bumper stickers on the back. Who was she fucking now, the barista from Vintage brew?

I opened the door and entered the house. “Mom?”

“You’re early. I..ah…I was just having coffee with a friend.” She rushed over and kissed my cheek. She wore a robe, tied tight around her waist, and her hair was a tumbled mess.

A tall guy, probably in his mid-thirties came into the living room tucking his pink, button-down shirt into his beige, skinny joggers. His polished, pointed, brown shoes pissed me off. Blond hair, wet from a recent shower, pulled into a man-bun on the crown of his head. This wasn’t the Steve I met a couple weeks ago.

“Blaine, this is my son, Kevin.”

I glared at my mom, plucked a cigarette from my pack, and clamped it between my lips. “It’s Dozer.”

“Baby, take it outside. Don’t smoke in the house.” I flicked open my Zippo and lit the cigarette.

“Dude, your mom asked you to smoke outside.”

I stuffed the lighter into my pocket and blew a curl of smoke toward the ceiling. “Does it look like I give a shit? Time for you to go. Stay gone because she’s married.”

“Kevin, stop this.”

“Fix your hair.” She had the just fucked look. “And it would be nice if you didn’t smell like dick for Dad.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” The guy flicked his head as if his hair wasn’t already tied up in a bun. “Not cool to disrespect your mom.”

Nah, much better for her to shit on my dad. My dad tolerated her infidelity, but he wasn’t participating in it. My mother fucked randoms while my father was in the country club.

That was what the fuck was wrong with me. The only difference between me and my old man… I’d want to watch. I never claimed not to be a hypocrite. I wanted Pippa, wanted her screaming my name as she came on Romeo’s cock.

I didn’t need a shrink to diagnose I had mommy issues .

“Time to go, asshole.” I grabbed him by the shoulder.

This was my mom, not Pippa. My dad wasn’t here to protect her, but I was.

“Kevin!”

“Fuck, call me Dozer.” Even my dad called me by the name I’d had since I fell in love with my first yellow Tonka Truck.

My mom grabbed onto his arm, tugged him to her side, and then positioned herself between us. “This is none of your concern. Come back in an hour, and I’ll be ready to go.”

I shouldn’t have come here at all. I loved my mom when I didn’t have to spend time with her. Keep me stupid. What I didn’t know couldn’t hurt.

“I’m done. Tell Dad I’ll see him next week.” I flicked my cigarette into the grass as I stormed out of the house. She could get her boyfriend to go with her. I straddled my bike and clipped on my helmet.

“Kevin.” She stood on the porch, clutching her robe closed.

I twisted the throttle, drowning out her words.

My gut tightened. I knew where I was going before the thought truly took hold. I wasn’t sure what I’d say to Pippa, but I didn’t want her pissed. I wanted her bright, laughing, and happy because I wanted to see her sink into my darkness again…and again.

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into her driveway. The neighborhood was quiet. Trees whistled in the light breeze. Contrails streaked the pale blue skies among fluffy white clouds. I dropped the kickstand and slapped my helmet onto the handlebar .

I jogged up to the front porch and knocked. I checked my phone for the time. She’d mentioned classes today. I tried the door. Locked. Shit. I slipped around the corner of the house and hopped the fence into the backyard. The rear door was also locked. Cupping my eyes, I peered into the window.

I went to the windows of the garage and tested each one to see if they were locked. Fuck. Add felony to my list of F-words. I slid the window open, muscle-upped onto the ledge, and slipped into the garage.

Once I opened the garage door and rolled my bike into the far side, I closed the automatic door, and entered her house.