Page 12

Dozer

I woke the moment her breathing changed. She was still, lying in front of me, her ass nestled against my groin, and her thighs aligned with mine.

My breath matched the rapid rise and fall of her chest. She didn’t need to wonder if I was asleep. My cock hardened against her.

The bed was soft, her skin softer. I slipped my hand under the hem of her shirt. As my fingers touched her quivering flesh, she released an audible exhale.

I flattened my palm against her. I’d held her before, but not like this. Blanketed in the darkness of the room, I only had my touch and her response. I cupped her breast, and she sagged against me as if she’d been poised for pain, stiffening with tension but then melting into a warm wash of pleasure.

“Touch me,” she whispered. The soft tone of her voice reached deep into me, searching for the emptiness.

I leaned up onto one elbow as she rolled to her back. With a tug, she had her shirt over her head.

I didn’t need light because I’d memorized every curve of her. The taut beaded nipples, dusky red, tight, and perfect, the swell of her hips, and the dip and soft grooves of her toned belly.

I knew every Italian angle of her face, the way her lips curved when she smiled, and how those lips parted when she laughed. And when she came, a smoky glint danced like fire in her eyes.

And I’d clouded her eyes with hurt and sadness.

Bending over her, I sucked one of her nipples into my mouth. At the same time, I slid my hand into her panties and groaned at the wetness coating my fingers.

She whimpered as her back arched, and her thighs opened.

That was all the encouragement I needed. I slid two fingers inside her hot, wet walls. I pushed in deep and scissored my fingers. She groaned, and I circled her clit with my thumb.

“Dozer.” My name softly spilled from her lips as she clutched the sheet in her fists.

“Are you sure? This changes us.”

“I need you.” Her fingernails scored along my forearm. “You need me,” she whispered.

“Fuck. I need you.” I ripped my fingers from her cunt, reared up on my knees, and tore her panties down her legs. This time, I’d be the one making her come. It would be my name on her lips and her riding my mouth.

I lifted her as I lay on my back. She positioned over my lap.

“Nah, on my mouth. Sit on my face.”

She scooted higher, straddled my head, and stared down at me as I sliced the blade of my tongue through her drenched folds. She tasted so good. Tangy, sweet, clean.

She cupped her breasts and pinched her nipples, working the tight tips between her thumb and finger. I gripped her thighs at the side of my head and ate her pussy, licking the length of her folds, then sucking her clit against my tongue.

“Jesus, Dozer.” Pippa gasped and braced one hand on the wall in front of her. I’d barely begun to savor her pussy when she tensed, then came in a rippling explosion against my mouth.

I gripped her tighter, and her hips rocked into my mouth, fucking, and grinding on my face.

“Oh fuck,” she quietly cursed, then whimpered. “Dozer, more.”

As if I had the control to stop. I growled against her velvety flesh. I’d been starving for a taste of her, a dark need burning in my gut. She gave herself over to the pleasure, and I was the bastard who was going to take her as mine.

I lashed at her folds, anchoring her to my face. She rode my mouth, wild and beautiful, as I fucked her with my tongue.

“Please.” She stared into my face, her hair tumbling down around her as I sucked her pussy. “Dozer, Please.”

I froze because I wasn’t sure if she begged me to make her come again or if she needed me to stop. “Tell me what you want.”

“I need you inside me.”

She scooted back onto my lap, and I sat up. I cupped her face and kissed her, sharing the taste of her. Her hands rolled over my shaved head as our mouths twisted, my tongue seeking hers.

“Condom,” I said.

She crawled across the bed while I pushed my boxers down my legs and off. I took the square, plastic package from her fingers.

“On your back.”

She reclined on the bed, a goddess waiting to be ravished. Her gaze locked on my fingers as I stretched the condom over my dick.

“Ready?” Braced on outstretched arms, my hips in the cradled of hers, I hovered over her.

She nodded with her stare piercing into me. So fucking beautiful .

“Guide me in,” I said and braced, waiting for the sweet torture of her pussy squeezing my dick.

She reached between us and curled her hand around my length. I nearly came from the touch of her fingers on my dick. My shaft throbbed in her palm as she poised me at the mouth of her pussy.

Predawn glow tinted the windows with subtle light. Silence cocooned us in intimacy. She was here, staring at me with lust-filled eyes. My groan melded with hers as my cock slid into her smooth, wet heat.

“Dozer,” she mewled as her pussy swallowed my cock. “Oh god, Dozer.”

I rolled my hips, sliding out and plunging back in. “You’re fucking perfect.”

Breath mingled. The soft, fullness of her breasts crushed against my chest. I pressed my lips to hers and tempted her tongue to chase mine. Nothing rushed. I wasn’t counting her down to an orgasm. Sliding into her cunt poured more fuel on the fire already burning inside me. Again. And again. I ground into her, swiveling my hips, and grazing her clit.

“I can’t breathe.” Pippa writhed on the bed, her body climbing higher, seeking the fall. “ Dio mio . Oh my god.”

Sweat slicked my skin. Her nails dug into my shoulders as she clung to me. I leveraged higher and fucked her harder, cramming her full of my cock.

With a gasp, she climaxed. Her back bowed, her neck stretched, the tendons defined and tight beneath her skin.

I growled, pounding into her through the gush of cream and the rhythmic pulses. She was fucking tortured when she came. Her slightly parted lips trembled, her jaw tensed, and her delicate hands curled into fists.

Silent tears slipped from her tightly closed eyes.

Skin slapped skin. The wet sounds of her pussy drove me harder. Faster. I pistoned into her sheath.

“Dozer.” She cried out my name. Her legs wrapped around my hips, and her arms circled my shoulders. She clung, and I fucked.

Her head fell back as a moan ripped from her lips. I thrust harder. Bolts of electric current seared my nerves, streaked along my spine, and boiled in my balls. They tightened, drawing up close to my body, my dick hardened to the point of no return, and I came, shooting hot ropes of cum into the condom.

I gasped for breath, my heart pounded, nearly shattering my ribs. Every muscle burned with tension. My jaw clenched, and a roar of pleasure blared through my skull. Finally, I melted onto her, crushing her into the bed .

Everywhere my lips touched, I tasted. Her neck, her cheeks, still wet with tears, her lips, and her closed eyes.

She cradled my head in her hands. Then she pulled my lips to hers. Her tongue flicked against mine and explored my mouth. I don’t know how long we kissed. I’d become addicted to the taste of her mouth.

“Good morning,” she said and smiled against my lips.

I eased out of her, sat back on my heels, and pulled the condom from my dick. Then I slid from the bed to dispose of it.

“Coffee?” she asked as she pulled her shirt over her head.

“Sure,” I grumbled and went to the bathroom. When I returned, she’d left the bedroom. I tugged on my boxers and jeans, grabbed my cigarettes, and went out onto the front porch.

I lit a smoke. Fuck. It was cold. I balanced my cigarette on the step, went into the house, and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch. When Pippa joined me a few minutes later with two cups of coffee, I clamped the cigarette between my lips and held the blanket open for her to cuddle next to me.

“Thanks,” she said and handed me one of the cups.

We sat hip to hip with the blanket draped over our shoulders. She held her mug between her palms.

“Can we talk about yesterday?” she asked.

We needed to because yesterday was a series of revelations. In the morning, I’d been sure I could only be her friend. After seeing her in Chrome, I realized I was all in or all out .

She set her cup to the side. “Just talk to me, Dozer. I don’t know what to ask you because you confuse me. I know you think this started in the playhouse when you saw me with Romeo, but we both know this started long before that.”

I nodded. “For me, it was the first time I saw you at Chrome.”

“Sometimes, when you look at me, I know you’re thinking dirty thoughts.”

She laughed, and some of the tension left my shoulders.

“Guilty.”

“But sometimes, it seems like you hate me or hate yourself.”

I stared into my coffee cup. “I’ve never spent a second hating you. I’m fucked up.”

She stared at my profile until I turned to her.

“You go dark, Dozer. Like the night at the playhouse. That’s when I ache for you the most. I need you so terribly. I feel your hurt.”

I leaned in and kissed her. “You can’t fix me, baby.”

“I don’t want to fix you. I need you broken.” She didn’t kiss me. She devoured me. Her mouth claimed mine, kissing me with a ferocious possession. My coffee cup tipped, spilling, and then fell to the ground and broke. I fisted my hands in her hair.

I pulled her against my chest and held her. “I’m more than broken.”

She stared at my face, traced my brow, and trailed her finger along my jaw. She let her hand fall away. “I know. ”

“Pip, I’ve never wanted a girlfriend. I’d have to trust. Risk falling in love.”

“Am I worth the risk?”

“You don’t have to ask that.” I let her go, scrubbed my face with my palms, and then bent forward and rested my elbows on my knees.

“Dozer?”

“It’s not about us.” I tilted my head and met her gaze. “It’s Romeo.”

“You want me to end things with him?”

I turned my attention to the horizon. I didn’t want to see rejection in her eyes. Having her choose him over me would be like sticking a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger.

“I will,” she softly spoke and leaned into me, resting against my side. “He’ll understand because he knows how important you are to me.”

Need for her had been a barbed wire around my heart. Too painful to let her in. I heard the sincerity in her voice. This was her choice. She wanted an us . I’d needed to know that she would choose me so I could let myself believe there could be an us, too. “I’m not asking you to.”

“Aren’t you? If I want you, I need to give up Romeo. Dozer, look at me.”

I turned to her.

Tears filled her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. “I’m not in love with Romeo. He doesn’t haunt me in my dreams. I don’t ache when I see him alone. I don’t melt under the heat of his stare, and I don’t want to sit in the dark with him. I don’t want to drown in his lust or have him treat me like I’m his whore. I don’t need him to fuck me until I cry. That’s you, Dozer. I’m all those things with you.”

I stared into her eyes, my emotions in my throat. “Fuck.”

I slanted my lips onto hers. The blanket fell from her shoulders as I lifted her into my arms. Her legs locked around my hips as I carried her into the house, kicking the door closed behind me.

“I want this, want you.” I gripped her tighter. “I want you on the back of my bike and in my room at the MC.”

She nodded. “I’m yours.”

“Tell me now if there is anyone other than Romeo.” A flare of possessiveness burned in my gut. The thought of anyone else touching her pissed me the fuck off.

“No one. Are you angry with me?” she asked.

“Nah, but I’m a possessive asshole.” Even the specter of infidelity, a figment of my imagination, had me grinding my teeth.

“I promise. I’m yours.”

“We need to talk about Romeo.” I carried her into the bedroom and set her on the end of the bed. I squatted in front of her, reached under her over-sized T-shirt, and hooked her panties with my fingers. She lifted her hips, and I tugged them down her thighs.

“You’re beautiful when you come. I get hard thinking about how he fucked you, but you were coming for me.”

“I was,” she confessed. “You’re in my head, Dozer. I’m always thinking about you, even when I touch myself. ”

“You’ll make yourself crazy if you try to psychoanalyze me. I’m possessive, but only with you.” I rested my hands on her knees. “I still want to watch. It’s not cheating if Romeo is here with us.”

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip.

“You fuck him without me—”

“I won’t. I’ve only kissed him since that night at the playhouse. I’m yours.”

I spread her thighs. “Not just Romeo, Pip. You let anyone else between your legs, I’ll fucking kill whoever he is. I need you. But I want to be what you need, too. I swear, there isn’t anyone else for me, either. You’re all I need.” I wouldn’t work for Bullet, wouldn’t watch his whores service their clients. If I was going to watch, I wanted to watch my girl with Romeo.

“Can I kiss Romeo?”

“You fucking kiss Hana. Yeah, you can kiss him.”

She moaned as I licked the length of her pussy. This morning, she was the best thing I’d ever tasted. Now, she was even sweeter because she was mine.

Pippa

The rumble of Dozer’s bike faded as he drove away. I’d had him in my arms, in my bed…inside me.

I sat on the couch and stared out the window because I wasn’t ready for him to ride away. Every time he opened up, he slammed the door on his feelings. After this morning, his rejection now would slay me open and leave me emotionally bleeding .

I covered my breasts with my palms. My nipples stiffened, remembering his mouth, his touch. What had he done to me? Inside, I still trembled from the pleasure of his mouth on my pussy.

I wanted to text him, to tell him to come back because I needed to breathe the same air as him. One night and he’d changed me.

At least I’d be able to talk to Hana today. I sent her a text to see what time she planned to go over to Vance’s and Gabi’s.

Outside the window, a car drove slowly past. My pulse jumped into a gallop. Hair tickled on the back of my neck. It was just a dark sedan. Just because I’d seen it in the neighborhood several times, didn’t mean it was suspicious. Except that it always slowed in front of the house. And I knew someone who drove a dark sedan. But lots of people drove sedans.

Tinted windows kept me from seeing inside. I remember being in a similar car with tinted windows. Remembered, at the time, how they concealed the indiscretions of a student with her professor.

I took a deep breath and dismissed my worries. Even if Quinn drove past my house, I wasn’t sure there was anything illegal in driving down a street, just a character flaw intended to creep me out. And another reason to get a restraining order.

And another reason to keep the gun in my purse.

While I waited for Hana to text or call, I jumped in the shower.

As the warm water sluiced over me, I could smell Dozer. Emotions—love, lust, fear—swirled in my belly .

Clichés of love and sex filtered through my mind. Love will set you free. Love conquers all. Fuck those thoughts. Love dug it’s talons in deep, overwhelmed, and shattered my security.

Now that he’d cracked enough to let me in, I wanted more. I was his but wasn’t sure if he was mine.

A little before noon, I opened up the door to the garage and groaned. Not only was my Audi sad and busted from the encounter with the curb, but she had two flat tires.

“Shit.”

Releasing an exasperated sigh, I leaned against the doorjamb. Hana still hadn’t returned my text.

I stared at Dozer’s number, but I couldn’t do it. “This is crazy,” I said to myself and pulled up the number to my new best friend.

Levi answered on the first ring.

“I need a favor.”

Twenty minutes later, I sat in the front seat of Levi’s car, my heart racing, and a loaded gun in my purse.

“Thanks,” I said as we drove across town to Vance’s house.

She turned to me and smiled. “You know, it’s getting harder to hate you.”

“Give it time. I’m sure I’ll do something to make you mad.” Like fall in love with her best friend.

Jealousy warmed in my belly as I remembered the way she looked curled into Dozer on his bed in the MC. He always stood protectively near her, had his arm around her, and whispered to her .

“What is your problem?” she said and laughed. “I say I don’t hate you, and you look like you’re pissed about it.”

I wanted to ask her how close she and Dozer had been, but I didn’t need to. I’d seen how close they were.

“Do you want to talk about Coop?” she asked.

“Sure.” Better than talking about Dozer.

“He asked me out again.”

I laughed. “Is that why you’re trying not to hate me? Don’t worry. I have no interest in Greyson Cooper.”

“I just meant that I like him, but I know he is at your house all the time with Diego.”

“Not my house. My parents’ house. And yes, if he’s not at school, he’s with Diego. And if the party is at the toolshed, Diego is there. Levi, I don’t need to warn you off Coop. He’s a good guy, but he’s a Romeo. Girls just like him. That he’s the varsity running back for the football team means he’s surrounded by jersey chasers.”

“But Romeo changed for you.”

I snorted. “One day Romeo might change for a girl, but not this girl.”

Levi pulled into the driveway.

“Do you want to come in and say hi?” I asked her.

“No, I need to go. I’m heading over to the MC.”

Where she’d see Dozer. My heart hiccupped.

“How are you getting home?” she asked.

I shrugged and scooted out of the car. “I’ll figure it out. Thanks for the ride. ”

Levi waved as she drove off. I walked up the driveway and around to the back of the house. Gabi sat on the outdoor loveseat reading on her phone. I slumped down next to her and set my purse, with the loaded gun, on the table in front of us.

“Tired?” she asked.

“Not really.” I sounded whiny to my own ears.

“I would’ve thought you’d be in a great mood,” she said, setting her phone on the table.

“Why do you say that?”

She laughed. “Listen, little sister. Don’t play sweet and innocent with me.” She glanced over her shoulder to Vance’s large workshop at the back of the property. “I know what, rather who, you have been doing. I thought Hana was a hell raiser, but you are crazy.”

“I need to move.” Those security cameras were spilling all my secrets.

“No, you need to give Dozer a key to the house, so he doesn’t have to keep coming through the windows. Why doesn’t he knock on the door?”

Because he was disturbed in ways I craved.

“He twists me up, Gabi. I think about him all the time, even when I’m with Romeo. But he’s all kinds of fucked up.”

“What about Romeo?”

“Romeo makes me happy, but I’m in deep with Dozer. What’s wrong with me?”

She pulled me close and snuggled me against her side. “I’m not the one to ask for relationship advice.”

I sat up. “Are you and Vance good? I mean, you’re not breaking up? ”

“Don’t worry. I’m not moving back into the house.” She laughed.

“You know it’s not that.”

“I know. I’m teasing. Vance is my everything. He’s raw and honest. He laughs but has this angst just under the surface. Maybe that’s what made him such a vicious fighter when he was with the Hellers.”

“Do you worry about that part of him?”

Dozer had a dark side. Unlike Vance, I didn’t think Dozer could change. I didn’t want him to.

“Vance is fierce and protective. Not just of me, but of Hana and now you.”

“But he could turn violent again. If someone hurt you—”

“He’d kill them,” she said. “Yes, that scares the fuck out of me, but I betrayed him once, and I never will again. I trust him.”

“Why are bikers so freaking hot?”

“I don’t know. Vance has been corrupting me since we met. You’re sleeping with two Hellers, and I’m being chained to a BDSM bed by another.”

“Dozer, he um… He isn’t wired to want what most guys do either.”

“Is he forcing you to do things you don’t want?”

“No, but the more I’m with him, the more my wiring is getting twisted up into his.”

“Look at me. I’m the girl who lost her only boyfriend to her older sister. Not that I’m hung up on how we ended. Elio and Claudia are perfect for each other. Elio and I weren’t.”

Gabi had been betrayed by her boyfriend and our oldest sister. The family pretty much blamed Gabi, and they expected her to pretend everything was great at family dinners.

“Elio’s still an ass,” I said.

“And she’s a bitch. See, perfect for each other. Pip, I’d never had an orgasm until Vance. I’m so in love with him.”

“I’m…” I was going to say in love, but I hadn’t told Dozer. Sharing something I know he’d want to keep for himself felt like a betrayal. Even telling Gabi.

“I’m…I want more than sex with Dozer, but I’m still sleeping with Romeo.”

“Vance is my Dom and fucks me in public. It’s no one’s business to judge.”

“Ugh, it seems like we both have a thing for bad boys and motorcycles.”

“Hard steel and sex appeal,” Gabi said. “They make us hot.”

And stupid. “Our family won’t be nice to Dozer.”

Gabi’s lips twisted. “Really? You’re worried about our family hurting his feelings? Have you met your boyfriend? They’ll behave with him.”

I laughed. “Right. Hellers can be intimidating.”

“And loyal.” Gabi groaned and leaned her head back. “You and Hana are a pain in the ass. The MC turned on Vance, but seeing Blade and everyone else again has changed him.”

“He seemed pretty upset with Blade. Does he want Hana out of the MC?”

“No, I’m afraid he wants back in.”

I couldn’t imagine Hana giving up the MC. Now that Blade was president, he was more committed than ever .

Gabi checked her phone. “Where is your sidekick? I’m starving.”

“I don’t know. She didn’t answer my phone call earlier.”

Her phone pinged. “ Dio mio. ” My God. “What happened?”

She turned her phone to show me the live feed from my driveway surveillance camera. “ Che due coglioni! ” What the fuck!

Dozer

“Did Levi say how it happened?” Romeo walked around Pippa’s car. A cigarette dangled from his lips as he pulled his hair into a man-bun.

“Not much, just that Pip didn’t want us to fix it because we’d use stolen parts.”

Romeo laughed. “She’s definitely gotten to know us.”

I’d gone into the house, found the spare key, and backed the car onto the driveway. Now, we assessed the damage.

Romeo lay on his back and slid under the vehicle. “She’s going to need a new muffler and tailpipe. We really need to get it on a lift.”

I nodded. “We can get the car up on blocks to get her a new exhaust, replace those tires, then we’ll get her in for the rest once we find the parts. At least, she’ll be able to drive it.”

Romeo slid back out from under the car, dusted off, and leaned against the driver’s door. “We can run and get the hearse. ”

The hearse was a flatbed truck the MC used to haul dead bikes on long runs, carry supplies, and transport chopped parts for Lee.

Lee ran a salvage yard and secondhand parts store. We had a long-term arrangement. Hellers supplied in-demand parts like catalytic converters, and he didn’t question where they came from. I was sure I could get parts for Pippa’s bumper from him.

“I’m going to see my dad this afternoon. I can’t bail on him again.”

“I’ll get the parts and meet you back here this afternoon.”

My phone pinged. I wiped my hands on my jeans. “It’s Pippa.”

“She’s calling you?” Romeo asked.

“Ah, yeah.” I’d wanted to wait for Pippa so we could talk all together.

Romeo chuckled. “About fucking time.”

I answered. “Hi.”

“Want to tell me what you’re doing?” she asked.

I furrowed my brows at her tone. “Hanging out with Romeo.”

“Yeah, in my driveway. What are you doing to my car?”

I spun in a circle. “Romeo, she’s watching us.”

Romeo turned to the camera and smiled. “Tell her to come home and keep us company.”

“Levi told me you took on a curb and lost.” I stared at the camera as I spoke to her.

“You don’t need to do anything. I have insurance. ”

“Nah, we’ll fix it. If Vance is around, can I talk to him?”

“He’s here. Hold on.”

A moment later, she’d handed the phone over.

“Hey, what’s up?” Vance asked.

“Pippa needs a new muffler. Levi dropped her off at your place. I was going to pick her up, but if you brought her home, I thought you might want to bring your welder over.”

“What time?”

“Give us a couple hours. Romeo’s going to grab parts while I go see my dad in county.”

“How’s Tank doing?”

“Good.” What could I say? I didn’t really know. Sitting in county for bullshit charges sucked. That’s why I needed to go.

Pippa came back on the phone. “Did you talk to Romeo about us?” she asked.

“I haven’t said anything, yet. What do you want me to do?” With each moment my heart beat harder and faster. “Pip?”

“I trust you to know what to say. Romeo knows. I haven’t hidden how I feel about you.”

I turned away from Romeo and the camera. “I’ll see you soon,” I said and hung up before I choked on the fucking emotions rising into my throat. Grabbing my crotch, I made sure I hadn’t grown a vagina, and that I still had a dick.

“Give me a minute.” I jogged into the garage and carefully popped out the broken vinyl window. I grabbed a bungee strap from a hook on the wall .

“Keep the keys,” I said to Romeo as I locked the door to the house and then hit the button for the garage door.

“I’ll meet you back here after you see Tank,” he said.

With the strap, I secured the window to the back of my bike. “I’ll drop this off for new glass.”

Romeo clipped on his helmet. “You want to tell me what’s up with Pip?”

I sat on my bike and held my helmet. My jaw ached with tension, and my gut churned with guilt. How did I tell one of my best friends I’d taken our girl? I didn’t want to lose him to have Pippa, but I couldn’t stay away from her. “I care about her,” I finally said.

“I know. So do I. Do you want me to back off?”

“No.” I rubbed a bit of grease from my knuckles. “But I don’t want you fucking her if I’m not there.”

He laughed and started his motorcycle. “Fuck, Doze. She already laid down that rule.”

“She still wants you with us.”

Romeo rested his hands on his motorcycle seat. “What about you? She’s your girlfriend now. Are you sure you’re going to be okay sharing her?”

I blew out a long exhale, letting go of my fear he’d be pissed. “Yeah, I want you there.”

“Say hello to Tank.” Romeo smiled, released the clutch, put his feet on the pegs, and rolled out of the driveway.

I clipped on my helmet and followed Romeo down the street. He headed in the direction of the MC, and I swallowed the lump of uneasiness that always seemed to lodge in my throat when I had to see my mom.

Sundays weren’t our normal visiting day with my dad. But after I’d blown off last weekend, I made the commitment to see him this weekend.

Once I’d dropped off the window for new glass, I rode to my mom’s house. Her car sat under the carport. I assumed she was alone, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she picked up her latest random from a bus stop.

“Mom?”

“Hi,” she said a bit breathless. Clothes filled her arms. She dropped them into the open suitcase on the couch.

Plunking down next to it, I picked up a bikini top with the price tag still attached. “Going somewhere?”

She plucked it from my hands and shoved it into the suitcase. “Steve invited me to go with him to Vegas. He should be here any minute, and I’m not ready.”

“You’re supposed to say you’re going to the country club to visit your old man.” I pulled my cigarettes from my pocket and lit one. The first drag felt good filling and burning my lungs. I blew the smoke toward the ceiling.

“You should quit smoking.”

“You should quit fucking around on my dad.”

“Smoke if you want.” She rested a hand on her hip.

“Do you think I’m going to tell you to fuck who you want?”

She tsked. “I don’t need your permission. ”

Normally, I had a filter that kept me from spewing my thoughts at my mother. Not today. I took a long pull off my cigarette, watching the paper sizzle and burn.

“I smoke about a pack a day. That’s twenty cigarettes between my lips. How many guys are you going to have between yours?”

She dropped her arms to her sides. “Fuck you, Kevin.”

“Nah, I think we can draw the line at fucking your kid.”

“I don’t give a shit what you say. You don’t pay my bills, and you don’t live here. In fact, I’m just a storage unit for your shit. I’m not doing this with you again.” She growled and sorted her clothes with jerking movements.

Fuck, I’d pissed her off.

Good. I hope she drowned in a vat of guilt.

“He’s expecting us today.”

“No, Kevin, he’s expecting you.”

“Call me Dozer. I hate my fucking name.”

She heaved a heavy exhale and braced her hands on her hips again. “I don’t have to explain my actions to you. You’re just like him. Putting that fucking motorcycle club above everything else. If he gave a shit about me, he’d be here.” She pointed a finger in my face. “So don’t tell me about fucking around on him. He’s always been happier riding his bike than riding me.”

She bristled, her hands trembled, and her eyes watered.

“Why not just leave him? ”

She stilled. “Dozer, why do you think I would stay?”

“Don’t tell me you love him.” Not when she was playing musical men in her bed.

She sat on the edge of the couch. “When he’s here, I do.”

I shook my head. Love wasn’t turned on and off like a fucking power switch. The memory of Pippa’s touch was enough to feel her surging through me, a blistering need to be with her. Physical distance had nothing to do with it. Love wasn’t about getting my dick wet.

“You need to go.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Until Friday. Get your shit out this week. You can’t live here any longer. You barely sleep here anyway. I have no idea how long Tank is going to be locked up, and you and I are toxic together. Every time I see you, we fight.”

Because every time I came home, she was entertaining another random.

“I’ll be out before you get back.” I slammed out the door, climbed onto my bike, and prayed to God I wasn’t like my dad. I sure as fuck recognized Pip was nothing like my mother.

***

I hated the smell of the county jail. It was the furthest thing from a country club. Sweat, urine, and the chemical scent of cleaning supplies fermented into a nauseating odor I couldn’t get out of my nostrils.

After passing through metal detectors and a pat down, my ID was checked, and I filed into a long hallway with other visitors. Two guards stood at the door as we were corralled into a room that reminded me of the cafeteria of my elementary school. Long, white, picnic-style tables stretched the room.

Once we were all inside the room, inmates wearing drab yellow jumpsuits with numbers and DOC on the back began to filter in. I watched the door, waiting for the familiar mug of my old man.

Finally, he entered, his gaze skimming the visitors until he found me. The smile splitting his face made his crow’s feet claw at the corners of his sparking eyes. He crossed the room with purpose until he embraced me, slapping a fist to my back.

“Dad.” I choked on a gulp of air. Fuck, but I missed him. He sat on one side of the table, and I sat across from him. We had an hour, and the clock was ticking.

“I’m glad you could make it,” he said. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”

I clasped my hands on top of the table. “Same shit most days. Working in the shop. We’ve been doing rebuilds on some classic Japanese bikes.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t laugh. Parts are easy to find, and they’re easy to sell.” I grew quiet “The club is better with Razor gone. We got beef with the Crawlers, but girls like Kiss aren’t OD’ing in the bathroom.”

“Good.”

I had fucking butterflies in my stomach. What the fuck was wrong with me? Pippa. Bits of her magical happy fairy dust had gotten into me. “I have a girlfriend.”

He leaned back and stroked his beard, tugging a bit on the chin hairs. “Nice. Did you finally make the move on that sweet girl? I always thought you two were perfect for each other.”

“Who?”

“Levi.”

“Nah, Dad, not Levi.” A blush crept up my neck. “That would be like taking my sister to bed.”

He leaned back and crossed his legs under the table. A rush of familiarity warmed my gut. I crossed my legs at the ankle the same way.

“Tell me about the girl.”

“Dad, she’s beautiful. Long, dark hair, sort of wavy curls. She’s so smart. She goes to Eminence U. She speaks Italian.” Especially when she came, but he didn’t need all the details.

“What’s her name?”

“Pippa. She has a big, loud family.”

“Where did you meet her?”

“It’s sort of a long story.”

Vending machines lined the wall. I pulled money from my pocket. This was the one time he could splurge on a soda and some junk food. “Let’s get some snacks. What do you want?”

We wandered over to the machines.

“This thing with Pip.” I wanted to get my dad’s advice, so I was going to be as honest as possible. “She’s been dating Romeo.”

My dad pointed to the soda and candy bar he wanted.

“We don’t touch another patch’s old lady. When Romeo finds out, there’s going to be issues.”

I handed him the snacks and grabbed a soda for myself .

“Still don’t like candy bars,” he said with a chuckle.

I never would, maybe because they’d been my dinner too many times as a kid. We walked back to our seats.

“Romeo knows. We’re good. You know Romeo. He’s not looking for serious.”

My insides vibrated with anxiety. Telling him about Romeo and Pippa wasn’t going to change what I wanted. Because I got off on watching my girl pleasured didn’t mean I was going to end up like them. Tamping down my insecurity, I focused on what mattered.

“Pippa’s my girl, but Romeo is still involved.”

He leaned forward. “Are you sure she’s your old lady?”

“Fuck, Dad, yes. She’s not cheating on me when I’m in the fucking room with her.” I raked my hands over my head and growled. “Is this how you and mom started out because I don’t want to end up with a fucked up relationship?”

“Your mom’s a good woman.”

“Why aren’t you pissed off that she’s not here today?”

He shrugged as if he wasn’t concerned at all. “She’s busy. I’ll see her next week.”

“Nah, you don’t get to dodge questions. Not today. I just told you I share my girlfriend with my best friend. Dad, I need you to talk to me. I feel like my fucking chest is being ripped open because of what Mom does behind your back.”

My face heated, and my heart beat against my ribs. Nausea roiled in my gut. I couldn’t get the flush of my mom’s cheeks out of my head. She glowed, knowing she was betraying my dad.

“I can’t take her lying shit anymore.”

My dad’s jaw tightened beneath his beard. His gaze narrowed on me. “Watch how you talk about your mother.”

I growled and clenched my fists. “Do you care that she’s doing other guys? She’s going to Vegas, Dad. It makes me sick that she fucks around on you.”

“You done?”

I ran my hands over my head. “I don’t know. If I knew you were into it, maybe I wouldn’t care. I know you’re not. When you’re home, she’s not bringing these assholes into the bedroom with you. I guess I want to know why you put up with it. Wouldn’t it be just as easy to fuck a Heller whore? At least you’d know her pussy isn’t exclusive.”

My dad slammed his fist to the table. A guard stood straighter, and my dad settled down. “She might be your mother, but she’s my old lady. Fucking watch how you talk about her.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m just pissed that she doesn’t seem to care about you the way you care about her.”

I wanted to make sure I didn’t end up like them, content to let the woman I love fuck around as long as I didn’t have to hear about it.

My dad leaned back, scratched his beard, and then started talking. “I did my twenty in the military. Deployments kept me away from you and your mom. She had to take care of you and the house. I’d be gone six months. Sometimes, she’d be lucky if I called home once a week. My obligation to the Corps took priority over family.”

“You didn’t have a choice,” I said. “You had to do what you were told.”

He shook his head. “They needed boots on the ground; I raised my hand. Every. Fucking. Time. I couldn’t disappoint my Marine Corps brothers. I had to be there to watch their back. Your mom waited, took care of you, never complained.”

“She bitched. You just weren’t there to hear it.”

He cracked a smile. “I came home and never asked if she’d been with anyone else.” His gaze hardened on mine. “And she never asked me.”

“Did you cheat on mom?”

“Dozer, I was out six months to a year. Shithole countries where the only people I cared about were in my unit. Then I’d come home to you and your mom. It was early on when I’d come home between deployments. I hated sitting around the house, so I spent all my time at the MC.”

I nodded because I remember when he started bringing me around with him. He’d drink and laugh with Razor, Sully, Elvis, and the rest of the guys while I ran wild with Blade and the crew.

I never really paid attention to what he did in the club.

“You know what goes on in the MC,” he said. “Faye takes me as I am, and I do the same. I don’t need you to tell me what or who she’s doing. I don’t fucking want to know. She’s my old lady.”

Not that it would change how I felt about my mom, but it was good to know my dad wasn’t crushed by her infidelity .

My dad’s eyes glinted. “You want to share pussy with Romeo, not my business. You do what you want. You’re a fucking Heller. We don’t look for trouble.”

I smiled. “Trouble finds us.”

He popped the last of his candy bar into his mouth. “I’m in here because of my choices. I don’t give your mom a choice in how I live my life.” He huffed out a breath. “Enough about your mom. Any update on the Crawlers.”

We spent the rest of the hour talking about the MC, the escalating situation with the Crawlers, and the plan to use the cartel.

“Any word from Willy on when you get out of here?”

“He says my case is strong. Wants me to consider taking a plea on the weapons charges.”

My stomach clenched. “What are they offering? How much time are you willing to do?”

“If they offer me a year, I’ll take it. I’ll probably sit less than six months.”

“Six months in this shithole?”

“Places I’ve been, this is the country club. The world is an armpit, son. It stinks.”

My dad laughed, and it was the best sound I’d heard all day. Brought fucking tears to my eyes. The buzzer sounded that visiting was over.

I stood and my dad tugged me close, locking me into a hard embrace.

“Love you,” my dad said, choking on his emotions.

“I love you, too.” I clung to him, hating that I had to walk away and leave him in this place.

“Next week?”

I nodded. “I promise.”