Page 4

An incoming call from Gabi disrupted my in-car performance. A secret not many people knew, but I had pipes. Five years in choir killed any love of singing in a band. Now, I limited my live shows to times in the car and occasionally in the shower.

I hit the talk button on my steering wheel. “Hi.”

“Care to tell me why Vance’s friend is breaking into your house?”

“What?”

“Shaved head, Heller patch on his cut, tried the doors, went in through a window in the garage, and is now sitting in your kitchen smoking a joint and drinking a beer.”

Dozer was in my house. After his declarations last night, I didn’t think I could talk to him and not imagine the raunchy things he’d claimed he wanted .

“The security company called. I told them not to send the police. I know how the Hellers hate law enforcement. Do I need to send Vance over?”

“No. I’ll talk to Dozer.”

“Pippa, why isn’t it Romeo sneaking into the house?”

“It’s complicated.” More complicated than the human brain with its hundred billion neurons.

“I don’t want to turn off the security system, but I don’t want to know anything more about what you’re up to. Pip, this is dangerous.”

I snorted. “Gabi, your boyfriend chains you to the bed and whips you.”

“Yes, and even he thinks hanging around and hooking up with the guys in the MC is dangerous.” She sighed into the phone. “Just be careful. And remember there are cameras so maybe stay out of the kitchen and the hallway.”

I smiled. Like Dozer, Gabi had seen everything there was to see between me and Romeo. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I drove home. Dozer’s bike in the garage made my heart hammer.

The philosophers were right. Once wants were verbalized, the universe conspired to make them happen.

I closed the garage door and entered the house. The blinds and curtains were closed. The sweet and pungent scent of weed permeated the air. I inhaled the memory of Dozer making me high with his breath. He hadn’t needed to touch me for every hair on my arms to prickle with awareness .

I set my keys and backpack on the table. “Breaking and entering is against the law.”

Dozer leaned forward on my sofa, resting his forearms on the knees of his torn jeans. “Are you going to call the cops?”

“The house has a security system. My sister told them not to come. She’s watching us on the camera.”

“You give me shit for taking advantage of an erotic visual masterpiece, and you’re living in a fishbowl, under surveillance twenty-four/seven.”

I snorted and plopped down next to him and sucked in my cheeks like a guppy. “I don’t recall giving you shit.”

“Cute.”

“Glad you think so.” I toed off my sneakers and propped my feet on the coffee table.

Silence hung heavy between us. Neither of us sure what to say. I know what I wanted to tell him. That I’d tossed and turned in bed last night, wondering what it would have been like for his mouth to cover mine.

“Do you only want to watch?”

“Not with you.” He glanced back at me. “I’d want more.”

How could Dozer really care about a woman if he was willing to share her with another man? Jealousy snaked through me imagining Levi naked and curled into him.

And I suspected, and Romeo all but admitted, that he slept with other girls.

Yet, because of one axis tilting encounter, it was Dozer fucking up my emotions .

“I can’t stop thinking about what I’ve done,” I said.

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” He leaned back and clasped his hands together.

“Haven’t I?”

He turned his head, and our gazes connected. “You didn’t invite me into a threesome with Romeo. I’m an asshole, Pippa. I took advantage of an opportunity because I want you for myself. And I just broke into your house so that I could be near you. This is on me.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure I fucked my boyfriend while you watched. And I came staring into your eyes instead of his.” And that was the problem. Examining why I didn’t tell Romeo would make me admit that I’d shared an intimate moment with Dozer. I was afraid I would again.

“Boyfriend?”

“I’m not presuming to be his girlfriend, but I’m not sleeping with anyone else.” No matter how hot, I wasn’t going to get burned by Dozer. I’d have to end things with Romeo first.

A hot knife of regret sliced into my chest. But it was futile to wish for something that had never happened. Romeo had never twisted me up inside the way Dozer did. I couldn’t breathe when he was near. My body hummed. Why did his gaze have to feel like a caress? I only knew it did.

I hoped Romeo meant what he’d said, that we could stay friends, because I was going to tell him the truth…at least about what had happened. I wouldn’t tell him that I’d had sex with him while thinking of Dozer .

“You’re right. He’s not my boyfriend,” I softly said. “But he’s your best friend.”

I had a brother and knew how dating formers screwed up a friendship. I wasn’t going to be the girl who slept her way through a motorcycle club.

“As attracted as I am to you,” I said, “it wouldn’t be worth the risk. Romeo and I could end tomorrow, and we’d stay good friends. I don’t think you and I would end the same.” I inhaled long and deep, then slowly exhaled. “So maybe we should focus on friendship.”

“Just friends?” he asked.

“I can’t be with you both.” There wouldn’t be room in my heart for anyone else if I let myself fall for Dozer. I wouldn’t risk coming between them.

“It’s okay, Pip.” A rare smile curled his lips. “Do friends make lunch?”

“Yes.” I smiled. “I’m hungry, too. Hana bailed on me for lunch. We were going to meet up after classes. Blade made her a better offer.”

I padded barefoot into the kitchen.

Dozer followed me.

I bent over to look in the fridge. Dozer’s growl sent deliciously naughty shivers over me. Friends…just friends .

Speaking of friends.

“I have a class with Levi.”

Dozer popped up onto the counter. Faded denim, with thinning threads at the knees, stretched over strong thighs. He absently slipped his fingers under his black T-shirt. Tanned, tatted skin peeked at me as he rubbed his palm over taut abdominals. What was it about Hellers? Ink, muscles, bikes, boners. They were gods of depravity, and I was ready to sacrifice myself at their altar.

He cocked a brow. “You’re probably not going to be study partners.”

I set cheese, butter, and bread on the counter. “I just don’t want to be her enemy. I talked to Hana.”

“I can imagine her insight, considering the way Jazzy treated her.”

“But I don’t have a brother that used to sleep with Levi to smooth out our friendship. Once Jazzy found out about Hana and Vance, she changed.”

“Levi is Levi.”

“That’s all I get?”

“Yep.” He shook a cigarette from his soft pack. Dozer headed into the garage to smoke.

Since there was only going to be friendship between Dozer and I, what was the point of pressing the issue? Focusing on lunch, I slathered butter on bread for grilled cheese sandwiches.

Italians were known to be good cooks. Not this one.

“ Merda .” I had the heat too high. The bread charred on the edges before the cheese could melt. As the sandwiches burned, I poured a can of soup into bowls and popped them into the microwave.

Dozer approached as I flipped his sandwich onto a plate, blackened side down.

“I hope you like your food well done.” I handed him the plate.

Our fingers brushed. My gaze lifted to his. Flurries of emotional debris, like a category five hurricane, tore through me. His hunger had nothing to do with food. I felt it to my soul as his gaze devoured me.

No wonder Levi hated me. If I didn’t stop this, I’d hate myself.

We carried our plates and bowls into the living room.

His gaze roamed around the room as he took a bite of his sandwich. “Do you pay your sister rent?”

“No. It’s more like I’m housesitting except she doesn’t keep any of her stuff here anymore. She’s fully moved in with Vance.”

“Nice sister.”

“The best. I have a brother, Diego. He works with my father. He’s being groomed to one day take over the Ricci family fortune. My sister Claudia has one baby and another on the way. Do you have siblings?”

He groaned and leaned back in the chair. “None that I know of.”

I’d laugh, but it wasn’t that funny in my family. Gabi was my half-sister. Ugly story that boiled down to my dad treating her like shit because she looked like her biological father, and my mother treating her like shit because said bio dad walked away from the affair when he found out about the pregnancy.

I had a big fucked up Italian family. And I was the princess no matter how tarnished I made my crown.

“I’m close to my dad,” he said. “My mom, not so much.”

“Have you heard anything about your dad?”

“Nothing new. I hate that he’s sitting in there. He doesn’t deserve the shit he gets. ”

“How long will he be in jail?” I’d heard about the aftermath with Texas and the club.

“Six months? A year? A life sentence? Who the fuck knows?” He rubbed his hand over his shaved head. “I was supposed to see him today.”

“What happened?”

“Faye happened. She always happens.”

Another girl in his sphere. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth fighting the flare of jealousy. The green monster lived inside me, always lurking, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

“Faye is my mom. Her timing is always shit. I don’t want to talk about her.”

A soft laugh spilled from my lips. He never talked.

He turned to me, and his eyes darkened.

“What?” I didn’t press. “Maybe no one has told you before, but you’re not big on conversation.”

“I have a thing about your laugh.”

The smile fell from my face. “A good thing or a bad thing?”

“Considering you’ve put me in the friendzone, it’s not a good thing. Your laugh makes me want to do bad things to you. Don’t worry. I can respect boundaries.”

Those boundaries were blurring, becoming a maze of mixed emotions, littered with hidden dangers.

“I’m sorry, Pippa. I need to shut up.”

I couldn’t stifle another laugh. “Sorry.”

“People would rather hear themselves talk. Most people wouldn’t like what I have to say.”

“You could tell me why you broke into my house today. ”

“Simple answer. I want to be near you.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I was saved from having to. Dozer pulled his cell from his pocket. He read the text.

“I’ve got to go. Thanks for lunch.” He stood, grabbed his keys and smokes from the table, and headed toward the garage.

I wanted to ask what was wrong and if I’d see him later.

He glanced at me over his shoulder. “There’s trouble at the MC. It’s Pike. I’m sure Hana will be there with Blade. Do you want to come?”

“I can follow you.”

“Or you can put on your shoes and ride with me.”

I’d only been on the back of Romeo’s bike. The closeness, the adrenaline. Just the thought of that intimacy with Dozer gave me a jolt of electricity that made me tingle like a live wire. I nodded, slipped on my shoes, and grabbed my keys.

Once Dozer backed the bike out of the garage, I pressed the button to close the automatic door. He steadied the bike and handed me his helmet.

I had it clipped on and then laid my hand on his shoulder to climb on behind him. The soft leather of his cut warming my palm made my tummy tumble in a freefall of lust I wasn’t supposed to feel.

I settled into the seat and placed my hand on his hips.

“Nah, Pip. If this is all I get, you need to hold on.”

Leaning into his back, I slid my hands onto his abs, tempting my fingers into the cuts and grooves. I rested my forehead on his back and breathed in the scent of cigarettes and spice.

The bike’s engine vibrated between my legs, but the wetness in my panties had everything to do with the rider.

I closed my eyes and molded my body to his, letting him take me through turns. Wind swirled around me, and the same feeling swept over me. I was on the bike, but I was soaring with Dozer with the whir of the road beneath us, the blur of cars, and the pounding of my heart filling my ears.

As he turned into the clubhouse, I loosened my hold on his waist. We slowly rode into the lot. Dozer backed into the line of bikes and held it stable for me to climb off. I took off his helmet and handed it to him.

He didn’t touch me as we walked with purpose toward the club. I glanced around to see if anyone noticed I’d arrived with Dozer instead of Romeo. They did. Their gazes followed us, as Dozer held the door for me, and I stepped through.

Noise and chaos reigned. Heller whores, as Romeo called them, gathered around a table. Guys clustered around the hall leading to the bedrooms. Rogue barked orders. I shifted my gaze to the corner. I spotted Jazzy first, then my stomach dropped as my gaze locked on Romeo and the girl in his arms—Levi. She stared at Dozer behind me, then shifted her gaze to Romeo.

My heart shouldn’t have clenched. My tummy shouldn’t have flipped. I glanced over my shoulder to Dozer. Could Romeo tell my loyalties were divided? That my pulse was racing because of Dozer ?

“Are you good?” he asked. “I need to go see Pike.”

I nodded but I wasn’t good unless good meant sinking into a thick, sticky mess of emotions.

Romeo turned to see what had Levi’s attention. I did, and I suspected if she could cause me harm she would. Get in line. Romeo didn’t look happy either. His lips pulled into a hard line, and his jaw clenched. But I didn’t know if it was me, Dozer, or the situation with Pike. The tension in the MC thickened.

Romeo’s gaze followed Dozer as he strode to the rear of the club. Then Romeo whispered something in Levi’s ear. Her mouth twisted into a disappointed smirk.

This was so fucked up. I turned and pushed back out through the door.

“Pippa.”

I heard Romeo call for me.

“Hey, wait.” He grabbed my arm.

“I’ll go. I just thought Hana might want company, but I don’t see her.”

“What’s going on, Pippa?” He stood behind me and snaked his arm around my collarbone.

“I don’t want to come between you and Levi.” Or him and Dozer. Or Dozer and Levi. I was the unstable variable in their friendships. We could all end up hurt, and it would be my fault.

“That sounds like jealousy, Miss Pip. Did you just happen to walk into the club at the same time as Dozer?”

I lowered my head. “We need to talk. ”

He took a step back and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Today’s not a good day. Everyone is on edge. Pike got rolled.”

“Oh no. How bad?” I asked.

“He’s fucked up. He’ll need a good dentist. He’s missing a couple teeth.” He swallowed hard and stared into the distance. “They fucking branded him, Pip, burned him with cigarettes. They beat the shit out of him. This wasn’t biker mischief kind of fighting. Brutal, but not permanent, not like the burns and the brand. Rogue isn’t sure shit’s not broken on the inside. Levi’s mom, Willow, is in with him.”

“Shouldn’t he go to the hospital? Just to be sure.”

“We take care of our own. He’ll be fine. Willow is an ER nurse. She can handle it.”

“You hope.”

“Crawlers wanted us to know who was responsible. They tagged him, but Hana promised him a bitchin’ tat to cover the brand.” He smiled. “Then she told him she’d ride him like she did me when she does it.”

“I’m sure Blade will be thrilled.”

“First real shit he has to handle as president. Once they get Pike stable...” His gaze softened on me. “They doped him up. It was a message for Hellers to stay out of their drug business.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, but it continued to swell. “I thought that was the plan.”

“Guess they didn’t get the memo.” Romeo glanced over his shoulder. “Pike and Dozer are close. He’s going to feel this one, since he brought him into the MC. ”

“I should go. This is a bad day for the club. We can talk later.”

“Nah,” he said and pulled me into his arms. “We should go to my room.”

I snorted. “Levi already hates me. She needs you.”

“She has me. I’m always going to be there for her, but only as a friend.”

The same way he wanted to only be friends with me.

The weight of his arm was heavy on my shoulders as we entered the chapel. I snuck a quick glance at Jazzy as she whispered to Levi. They both stared at me as Romeo led me toward the back of the club and past the guys loitering in the hall.

He kept me tucked close to his side as he opened his bedroom door. Once inside, I stepped away from him. He closed the door and leaned against it.

“You’ve got all the signs of a guilty girl.”

He pulled a cigarette from behind his ear and stuck it between his lips. The rough whirl of the metal wheel struck the flint and sparked a flame. He inhaled, the paper and tobacco sizzled as it caught fire, and a ribbon of smoke curled around his lips before being sucked into his nose and mouth.

“Did something happen between you and Dozer?”

Tears filled my eyes as I sat on the end of his bed. “Sort of.”

Two thin streams of smoke escaped from his nose on an exhale. “That’s cryptic. ”

I didn’t know where to start. I just knew I couldn’t deny something dangerously erotic simmered between me and Dozer.

“Did you fuck him?”

I snapped my gaze to his. “No! God, no. I wouldn’t cheat on you.” I licked my lips and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Baby, I love being with you, but you’ve got to be honest with me. If you’re done, just let me know.”

“No, Romeo. It’s just… I have to tell you something, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

He exhaled with a small laugh. “Fuck, Pip, those are my lines. I’m getting let down easy.”

“Romeo, we can’t break up if we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. Didn’t we just decide we were having fun?”

This conversation was off the rails. I would laugh, but this tragic I’m-your-friend, keep-fucking-me, but let-your-best-friend-watch declaration wasn’t funny. Feelings weren’t trivial, and what I felt for Romeo was deeper than friendship, but something I knew would never bleed into love, but it wasn’t disposable.

“I’m confused.” I bent over and covered my face with my hands.

“You don’t have to be. We’re friends. It’s different for us. You’re a cool girl. But you and I both know what this is between us. We’re not permanent.”

He didn’t need to elaborate. I understood that Levi was a permanent part of his life. I could be gone tomorrow. I wasn’t a Heller.

“Pippa? ”

I lifted my head and met his gaze. He was too beautiful. If Dozer was the darkness, Romeo was the light. His smile could melt the coldest parts of my heart. “I’m catching feelings for you, good-friend feelings, never-want-to-hurt-you feelings, love-you, love-being-your-fuck-friend feelings.”

Romeo grabbed an ashtray and sat next to me on the bed. “Thank, fuck. I like being with you, Pip. I’m not asking how you spend your time when you’re not with me.”

“This isn’t just about the time we’re apart. It’s when we’re together.” Because like the pull of the midnight tide, Dozer lured me into deep waters of desire. “He saw us.” I lowered my voice. “Dozer watched.”

A slow smile spread across his face. “And he told you?”

“Not exactly. I knew he was there. Not at the beginning, but he made sure I knew.”

“I’ve known Dozer for just about my whole life. He’s complicated.” He twisted the glowing tip of the cigarette in the glass dish.

Dozer wasn’t complicated, not unless I was too because I understood him. What was wrong with me if my insides twisted when I thought of him watching me come?

“I don’t know how I feel about him.” My voice grew quiet.

“I’ve never known him to have a girlfriend. When we were teenagers, I thought he was gay.” He dropped his head between his shoulders.

“Because he’s watched you before? ”

He nodded. “We were just starting to get into girls.”

“And now?”

“Don’t look for halos, baby. I don’t have one. Neither does Dozer.”

“I didn’t turn away. I watched him as he watched us.” The same flash of heat surged through me.

“He watches you all the time.”

“The same way Levi watches you.”

“I wouldn’t be good for her.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Levi and I are complicated.”

I laughed and bumped my shoulder against his. “Exactly.”

“Nah, different.” He shrugged. “Girls like me. I’m a good time until they fall in love. Then I’m the asshole who breaks hearts.” He glanced at his feet. “I’d end up hurting Levi.”

Coming from anyone else, those words would be conceited and arrogant.

“Maybe if you sucked in bed, girls wouldn’t fall so hard.”

“You won’t fall, Pippa. Not for me.” He touched my cheek. “What about Dozer? Do you want to fall for him?”

“After you fell asleep, we did talk. And he came to my house today. Nothing happened between us. We just talked.”

He tucked my hair behind my ear. “You’re obviously bothered by what he said.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m not. He said he’s been watching me since the first night.” While dancing at Liquid Chrome, Blade and Romeo had charged to Hana’s and my rescue. I’d never been so scared and turned on. Ten minutes later, I’d been in Romeo’s lap with his talented tongue behind my teeth.

“And what about you?” Romeo took a last drag off his cigarette then stubbed it out. “How long have you been watching him?”

“A while.”

He chuckled. “It’s okay. Whatever happens between you and me isn’t going to change that you’re one of us now. A Heller.”

“Not the way Hana is, but I’m okay with that.” Hana loved Blade the way my sister loved Vance. I wasn’t going to fall in love with Romeo, and I’d fight my lust for Dozer because I didn’t think he’d play by the rules. And I’d lose.

“One last thing, just so we both know where we stand. And then I’m going to kiss you.”

“Kiss me first.” I pressed my lips to his in a slow, drugging kiss. His tongue glided along mine. I whimpered because he kissed me like he fucked me. Every part of me tingled. He tasted of cigarettes and sex. Deliciously dirty. I moaned.

Romeo trailed kisses along my neck. “Does it make you hot?”

“You don’t care that I want you both?” Because I did. I want to laugh with Romeo and explore the dark with Dozer.

His chuckle vibrated into my skin. “I know how to get you off. Does thinking of Dozer watching make you wet?”

“Does it make your dick hard knowing he wants to fuck me?”

“Fuck, yes. I want to know how wet you are. ”

“Soaked,” I whispered.

He stared hard into my eyes. “It’s your decision, baby. You can have us both.”

Both? My heart hiccupped. How would it feel to have both of them, for Dozer to watch me and for Romeo to want to be watched? I sighed and leaned into him. “I want you both. But for tonight, I just want Pike to be okay.”