Page 46 of Down & Dirty (Holden Cove #1)

CHAPTER 46

SKYLAR

L ooking at myself in the reflection of the elevator doors as it climbed to the floor my brother was on, I realized I probably should have taken a second to clean myself up before I’d bolted from the hotel. But when Elle called to tell me there had been a crash, my heart had stopped. Brushing my hair was the last thing I’d thought about.

I combed out the knotted strands now, blowing out a breath and trying to calm down. Elle hadn’t been able to tell me much. She hadn’t seen the crash, but had heard on the radio that Ronnie and Cory were en route to the hospital.

As the doors pinged open, I charged for the nurse’s station. A young, bright-faced nurse popped up from behind the counter with her arms full of files.

“Ronnie Stone and Cory Ellis,” I said in a rush, my eyes darting around the room as I tried to spot them.

“One sec,” she replied, leaning to slowly spill the files from her grasp onto the counter. “I think I know where Ronnie is, but let me check on the other one.”

She was tapping on the keyboard, when I heard a throat clear behind me .

“Sky.”

My shoulders dropped, pulled down by the weight of relief that settled like a blanket across them. His voice was warm, and soft, but I heard the tinge of pain, even in that one word. Spinning, I found Cory behind me, his shirt covered in blood, his hair jutting out in every direction. I could picture him ripping his helmet off, sweaty and dirty and pissed off at having lost his spot in the race.

“He’s over here,” he said, lowering his head as he turned down the hall behind him.

I thanked the nurse and followed. “Are you okay?” I asked, even though I could tell by the stiffness of his steps that he wasn’t.

“I’m fine.”

He slowed until we were beside each other, and even though he didn’t get any closer or reach out for me, I could feel the uneasy energy radiating off him. He was holding himself back, and I wasn’t sure if that made me feel worse or better.

There was a part of me that wanted Cory to crush me to his chest, to hold me while he whispered his apologies into my hair. I’d have tucked myself into that embrace and never wanted to leave.

But there was a gap between us.

He must have felt it too, because he flexed his hand at his side as we walked instead of reaching for mine. And with every step that gap got bigger.

“He took a hard hit, but the docs said he’ll be okay.”

He stopped outside a door, and through the narrow glass window I saw Ronnie reclined in the bed. His eyes were closed and he looked exhausted. One arm was wrapped in a brace and he was hooked up to monitors and IVs. He looked far from okay, but I knew how much worse things could be, so I let out the breath I was holding and nodded up to Cory as he watched me with round, hesitant eyes.

“And you? ”

“I didn’t crash,” he said before closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Not really.”

“Oh? Good.” I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but regardless, the sight of him standing in front of me breathing and talking slowed the hard, frightened beat of my heart just a little bit more. “I should go see him,” I said, reaching for the door.

“Skylar, wait.”

My hand dropped to my side, and I closed my eyes, bracing for a conversation I wasn’t ready to have.

“I’m sorry. I fucked up. I fucked up so much more than just the contract thing.”

When he paused, I turned to look at him. His eyes were down, and there were deep lines of regret on his face.

“There’s so much I want to tell you, to explain...” He was struggling with his words, and for as smooth and confident as Cory had always been, it threw me to see him this unsure.

“I know we need to talk,” I admitted. “But I can’t right now. I’m not ready, Cory. And I just need you to give me some time.”

It had been one week. One week of hell. I’d hardly slept or eaten, and if I made Micah and I frozen dinners one more night I think the kid was going to report me to my parents on their next FaceTime call.

But the longer I took to let myself think, the more I saw how far off course I’d gotten. Not just with Cory, and this whole fake relationship. But with everything in my life. I needed space to sort out my own shit, before I could even have room to hear what he had to say.

My words hung between us as he held my gaze. “Can you let me know? When you’re ready?”

A new crack formed in my heart to see him trying so hard to be patient. “I will.” I nodded, doing my best to assure him and myself at the same time.

He took a deep breath, rocking back on his heels. But then his eyes snagged on my left hand. “You’re not wearing it. ”

I closed my right hand over my left, rubbing the space where my wedding ring had been.

“I know. I just needed some space from...” I looked up at him. “Everything.”

He grimaced, his jaw working as he searched my face. “I love you, Skylar.”

My eyes started to burn, and I sucked in a sharp breath, determined to keep it together. “I know.”

“Don’t you give up on us,” he pleaded, his voice cracking.

Shaking my head, I looked away from him. His piercing gaze was going to bring down all the walls I was desperately trying keep standing. And without them, I would crumble back into his arms, and I’d be just as lost as I was before.

“I have to go,” I whispered, the words raw on a sandpaper throat.

His mouth opened, but nothing came out. And when he nodded, backing another step away, I turned and pushed through the door, leaving him standing in the hall. I felt torn open all over again.

“Either I look worse than the docs said, or you didn’t just make up with your husband,” Ronnie said, giving me a quick glance through slitted eyes before closing them and settling back again.

“You don’t look great,” I replied, sighing as I walked over to his bedside.

“I don’t feel great. But I hate to break it to you, you look like shit and you don’t have getting tossed as an excuse.”

No, I just had my broken heart .

“What’s the damage?” I asked, needing to change the subject.

“Sprained wrist, bruised ribs, and a sick eight-inch slice to my abdomen. But thankfully that one looked way worse than it was. No organ damage.”

My body went soft, and I leaned onto the bed with both hands. “Thank god.”

Ronnie opened his eyes, reaching for my hand. “Hey. I’m going to be fine.” He held my gaze, and my chest got tight. “Are you okay? Cause I mean it, you look like crap.” He didn’t laugh this time, and neither did I.

“I just...” I shook my head, giving his hand a squeeze before I turned to pull over the chair from the corner. “It’s been a long week.”

His expression was thoughtful. “I’m sorry for what I said, Sky. You were right. You can handle yourself, and if you wanted to do the modeling thing, that was your choice. I should have stayed out of it.”

Moments like this were rare with Ronnie, and I took a deep breath, letting the sincerity in his eyes sink in.

“But, can I ask you something without you getting mad?”

I laughed under my breath, “Sure.” If I was ever going to give him a free pass, it might as well be while he’s hooked to IVs in a hospital bed.

“What happened? Why did you suddenly want to go all Gisele? That’s pretty much the craziest thing you’ve ever done. Second only to marrying Cory Ellis.”

I was too tired to keep any more secrets. So, I told him the truth. All of it.

I told him about Tommy changing the terms of our agreement, and me needing more money. I told him about Cory’s idea for the fake relationship, and that he was paying me to pose as his girlfriend. And then I told him about how that had turned into something real, but Cory hadn’t always told me the truth and that when he went behind my back to kill the deal I’d secured to try and make sure I’d be okay regardless of what happened with us, it had been about more than just that contract. It had been about me not feeling like what I wanted mattered. Not to him, not to anyone.

“Jesus. Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have kicked Tommy’s ass and given him a reason to need more money for health insurance.”

“And that is why didn’t tell you. ”

“Come on, the guy deserves to have his ass handed to him. And I’m sure Cory would help me.”

The knife that had taken up residence in my chest twisted. “Yeah, he wasn’t Tommy’s biggest fan. But he wasn’t innocent in all this. He shouldn’t be racing. He’s in no shape for it, but he made that choice all on his own. He didn’t care about what I thought or what it would mean for me and Micah, if he got hurt. Or worse.”

Ronnie was quiet for a minute, before he said, “Maybe that’s why he bailed.”

“Bailed?”

“On the race. He’d barely made it halfway through the first lap of the main before he went off course. I don’t think he came back, because he was still on the side right before I got ejected.”

“I thought he was in the same crash?”

“No,” Ronnie shook his head hard. “His helmet was off. He wasn’t even trying to get back on.”

Maybe it was nothing. Maybe Ronnie was wrong. But the possibility that Cory had chosen to leave the race felt like a tiny sliver of light in this tangled mess we’d made.

“He should never have been out there in the first place,” I said, only to find my brother giving me an exasperated look.

“You know as well as I do that guy wasn’t made to quit. If he opted out there was a reason.”

“Don’t try to defend him.”

“Why not? The guy has been a fucking mess since you left. Any man who lets a woman screw him up that much isn’t just dicking around. And judging by how wrecked you look, neither were you.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I didn’t and in my silence, Ronnie ran his hand through his hair and went on.

“I obviously have no idea what relationships are like, and you two might be better off done for all I know. But from where I sit, it looks like you at least owe it to yourselves to lay all your cards on the ta ble. Isn’t that what mom always says? Not to let assumptions call the shots.”

“Something like that.”

My brother being the voice of reason in my life was about as unnerving as the chance what he was saying was right. But if he was, I needed to know.