Page 39 of Down & Dirty (Holden Cove #1)

CHAPTER 39

CORY

W here was my wife?

She’d texted me to say she’d call last night, but then she never did. Her flight got in a few hours ago, so she should have been in the tent by now. Not having her there last night was one thing. I’d missed her. I couldn’t sleep alone now. But it was more than that. In my gut I knew something was off. Skylar always checked in. Something was wrong.

Ronnie had spent extra time on the track after warm-ups, but if Sky was there to watch him, I hadn’t seen her. When he finally strode back into the tent alone, I pulled him aside.

“Where’s Sky?”

He winced, but didn’t look my way. “I don’t know anything. She wouldn’t say.”

“So, you’ve seen her?” To know that Skylar had been there, and I’d somehow missed her made me want to punch something. My nerves had me all keyed up.

“Yeah, she’s here.”

“Is she upset? She’s avoiding me. What the hell has she been doing?”

He finally looked at me. “Her job, man. She’s my manager?— ”

I cut him off, struggling to keep my voice low. “She’s my wife!”

Ronnie jerked back. “Yeah, and yet she’s been in a mood all morning and hasn’t come to find you. Which makes me wonder what the hell you did. Because my sister doesn’t back down from anything, so if she’s avoiding you, I want to know why, asshole.”

My hand clenched into a fist at my side, but before I could swing, Billy was next to me. He slapped his hand down on my shoulder, as he gave Ronnie a stern look.

“Take a walk, Stone.”

After looking both of us over, Ronnie did as he was told. But this wasn’t finished. I hadn’t done a damn thing to Sky. Whatever was going on, it had nothing to do with me.

“Keep your shit together,” Billy said as we started to get ready for the first qualifying heat. We made our way to the gate, the crowd filling in. But the buzz of energy was feeding into my agitation rather than helping me focus like it usually did.

“I didn’t do anything,” I told him, shaking my head before I put my helmet on.

“I know,” Billy said, grabbing the front of my helmet so I’d look at him. “Whatever is going on, you’ll sort it out. But right now, you need to take all that pissed off and put it on the throttle, okay? Focus and stay on your line.”

It was rare Billy gave me pre-race pep talks, but I needed this one. I nodded, his hand still on my helmet.

“See you at the finish,” I said, desperately trying to quiet my mind as I climbed on my bike.

“You got this.”

I shook out my goggles and pulled them on. With one last thumbs-up, Billy slipped behind me and headed for the pit, leaving me with the rest of the riders. Engines revved and the crowd grew quiet. The pretty girl in front of us holding up the countdown timer smiled my way, and I closed my eyes.

It had been raining off and on all week and the course was sloppy . A muddy shit show that was already going to tax my concentration. If I didn’t calm down, I’d be lucky to finish at all when I needed to place high enough to get into the main event later that night. I fought the urge to scan the crowd for her, forcing myself to focus so I didn’t screw this up.

The gate dropped and the bikes around me took off. Eyeing the inside line I throttled hard, spinning the nubby tires we’d gone with, and sending mud spraying out behind me. I stayed focused on the line I wanted, my front end inching farther ahead as we neared the first corner.

The crowd had gone wild, the pack flying through the first muddy patch, and as we went to round the first curve, I pulled a half bike length ahead of the next rider. I could hardly see, the splatter coming from every direction, so I had no idea who I was up against. But when we turned again and I started over the first section of whoops I caught sight of the bike on my right. It was Ronnie.

The rest of the pack around us were in dark blues and grays, their jerseys tame compared to the lime green we wore, so I knew the rest of our team had gotten stuck back in the crowd. We tipped and bumped our way through the whoops, getting none of the traction we were used to, and struggling to hold onto the rear end every time we landed. It was like taking a jackhammer to my spine, the pain adding to my frustration.

Sliding into the next sharp corner, Ronnie skidded into my line, boxing me out of the inside and forcing me to take a hard hit into a new groove.

“Fucking punk,” I yelled, even though he’d never hear me with my helmet on and the noise of the engines. I gassed it to get some air over the rollers, my bike squirreling every time I touched down on the other side of the large rounded jumps. More bikes came up beside me, the track getting messier, and as we pushed through the first straight away I yanked on my throttle as hard I could .

Surging ahead, I put Ronnie in my rear view, but the distance was quickly eaten up by two other riders. They crowded me on either side and I cursed as one of them nicked my rear tire, sending me forward, nearly toppling me over. I grabbed for my gears, but it was too late, they were already closing the loop around me, and when I went to power through them, I got knocked sideways. I flew over the handle bars, the bike crashing into the sideline as I slammed into the dirt.

Fuck. Shit Fuck. I scrambled to get clear of the course, the surge of adrenaline powering through me. Yellow flags waved as the ground crew rushed over. The rest of the pack rushed by as I gasped for air. I’d taken the hit to my side, my ribs screaming like they had after the fall last season. I winced, clutching my side as one of the medics skidded to a stop beside me.

“You hurt?”

“No,” I barked, but the word got cut short when a stabbing pain shot through me.

“Up or out,” and official called over from the other side of the barrier and I shoved off the ground.

“I’m fine,” I told the medic, brushing him off to get to my bike. I tugged it hard, the mud making it nearly impossible to stand it up. But finally I hauled it upright and swung my leg over. Everything hurt. My head was ringing and I saw stars swimming in my vision. But I kicked the engine started and looked over my shoulder before gunning it back onto the track. I had enough time to make up the ground. I had to get back into a contention spot.

I rode the rest of my heat with a frightening numbness in my right arm, barely catching my breath after every jump. But I had to finish. The mud wrecked several other bikes and I was able to close the gap, overtaking a handful of riders and finishing ninth overall—barely qualifying. As I pulled off the course, I looked back over my shoulder; placing high enough to get me points tonight was going to be a fucking nightmare.

“Jesus, are you all right?” Billy asked, rushing over and snatch ing my helmet from my hand while I fought to catch my breath.

“I’m great,” I snapped, wiping mud from my face.

“Why the hell did you keep going?”

I looked at him like he was crazy—because right then he sounded like it. “I need the main event, Bill. If I don’t ride, I don’t get any points. I can’t fucking toss in a whole weekend.”

He shook his head, but didn’t argue. “Let’s get this thing cleaned up. See if we need to replace anything.”

We rode together back to the tent, but I was hesitant to dismount, not trusting my own legs to keep me upright. When I swung my leg over Billy held the bike steady until I’d gotten my feet under me. He knew that fall had knocked me sideways, and without saying anything he let me lean on the bike for the first few steps.

“You straight, Ellis?” Ronnie asked, walking toward me with his helmet under his arm. He still had his chin tipped up, but the concern on his face was genuine.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Good.” He went to walk away, but stopped, turning back my way. “Tell me you didn’t fuck with my sister.” His steely blue irises, just like Sky’s, leveled me with a flat stare.

“I swear to god, I don’t know what’s going on. I would never hurt her.”

He nodded. “I believe that.” His eyes flicked over my shoulder and he let out a loud sigh. “Turn around.”

When I did, I found Sky standing twenty feet away, pinning me with her gaze, fear and hurt in her eyes. My chest seized at the look on her face, the painful ache deeper and harsher than anything I’d felt slamming into the ground. “ Baby ,” I exhaled, my relief at seeing her erased by the way she flinched at the word.

I took a handful of steps toward where she was frozen in place. But as I got closer, she held up a hand.

“How bad is it?” she scanned me, scowling as her eyes swept over my body .

“It’s fine,” I said, reaching for her, but she jerked back. “Skylar?”

Air rushed out of her as her expression flattened into a mask. “Not here.”

Riders and mechanics were all around us, team officials and family getting ready for the next heat. There were buses and tents in every direction.

“Is the bus empty?”

My pulse was racing, the look in her eye something I’d never seen before. “It can be.” If she wanted privacy, she’d get it. I just wanted to get her talking.

I followed her inside, every second of her silence making me feel a little more desperate. “Sky, what’s going on?” I begged in a rush.

She stood at the other end of the space, regarding at me coldly. “You lied to me.”

I balked. “What?” I wracked my brain, trying to remember what we’d talked about before I left for San Francisco. Nothing of significance came to mind. “I don’t understand. I’d never lie to you.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, protecting herself. Protecting herself from me .

“Baby, please tell me what you’re talking about so I can fix this.”

“Are you hurt?”

I shook my head, my jaw clenching as I felt her gaze narrow on me like a laser. My neck got hot the longer she looked at me. “I told you I’m fine. It wasn’t bad.”

“It looked fucking awful.” Her voice cracked, and her eyes got watery. I wanted so badly to go to her, but something held me back. “It looked like you should be at the hospital right now. Like you should be finding some secret ER to take you and keep their mouths shut.”

My heart stopped. Air trapped in my lungs went sour with the rancid taste of bile as my stomach churned viciously .

“ What ?” I’d heard her, but the ringing in my ears had only gotten louder and I prayed somehow I was wrong.

“You promised me.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she held back tears.

My chest caved in, a pain that I hadn’t felt since the day of my mom’s accident ripping through me at the sight of her. It was like if I took a breath, my heart would tear lose.

“How—?” I asked, not even bothering to finish my question. Skylar had been staying with me for weeks. The box of records wasn’t hidden in my closet. I hadn’t touched it since the summer, so I’d forgotten it was even there.

“Your shoe collection didn’t do a good enough job of concealing that never-ending stack of doctors notes telling you how close you are to being paralyzed.”

I sagged against the counter beside me. “I told you my back was messed up.”

“You told me you were fine!” she shouted.

I glanced anxiously over my shoulder at the door to the bus. She knew I couldn’t afford for OTM to hear what she was saying. “Sky...”

She stifled a cry, her voice dropping. “You told me you were being careful. You told me you wouldn’t do this.” She waved her hand at me, as if I was standing before her already broken. Already done.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how bad it was...I should have been more clear.”

She barked out a laugh. “No, Cory. You shouldn’t have been more clear . What you should have done is walk away.”

For a split second I wasn’t sure if she meant walk away from racing or walk away from her, and panic surged through me. “Walk away from what?”

“From this!” she shouted, tears streaking down her face. “You know what you’re doing to yourself. Why can’t you just let it go?”

I shook my head. I had to finish this season out. At least this one. “Not yet. ”

“When? When you fall and don’t get back up?”

She sounded like Mack at Thanksgiving. Both of them were so worried about what could happen, they weren’t seeing what was right here. They couldn’t see what I did; that I could do this. I put out my hand, trying to calm her down. “Today wasn’t that bad. I’m all right.”

She took a step back, as if my words had physically hit her. “Do you have any idea what it’s like knowing how seriously you’re hurt and watching you get on that starting gate? And then,” she looked away. Her fingers were trembling as she covered her mouth, like she was ill. “And then to watch you go down?” Her eyes locked on mine, the pain in them slicing across my chest. “I was sick, Cory. Waiting to see if you’d be able to get back up on your own. Do you know what that’s like?”

I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. My whole life I’d been the one in the dirt. I’d been the one to take the jump, or try the trick, or crash and burn. I’d never given a shit about anyone else, so of course I couldn’t know what it felt like to watch someone you care about go down in a race. But the pain of seeing Skylar hurting right now was enough to crush my lungs, so I could imagine how awful that must have been for her.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I said, walking slowly toward her. I had to touch her, I couldn’t hold back anymore. “I’m so sorry.”

She reached out, careful, quivering fingers taking hold of the bottom of my shirt and lifting it. Choppy breaths burst out of her when she saw the scrapes and redness, a yellow-purple bruise already forming under the swollen skin.

“You lied to me,” she repeated, her anger snapping back through her as she dropped my shirt and stepped back.

“I did,” I admitted, my hands fisting at my sides. I’d never fucked up so bad before. “And I know nothing I say now will ever make that okay.”

“I trusted you.”

“You can still trust me, Sky.” My voice broke, feeling her pull away .

“How can you say that to me? How can you stand there...I can see how much pain you’re in and you’re still lying to me and telling me you’re okay?”

“I’m telling you that I’m okay, because I am. I never should have played down how bad things were. Letting you find out like that was...” Shame and guilt swept through me, clearing out all the frustration. I’d done this. This was my fault.

“Are you going to stop?” She pulled her shoulders back, holding her breath as she stared me down.

With the points I’d gotten so far, I had a decent chance of finishing out the supercross season in the top ten—which would go a long way to helping me secure a few more endorsements. Deals that I needed. For us. I didn’t know what else I had to offer her and Micah beyond this. I needed this to give them everything they deserved.

A knock came at the door making her jump. It was hard and insistent and I would have bet money it was Ronnie.

“Not yet.” All I wanted was to take Sky in my arms. I wanted to make her see that I could handle this. I’d been doing this my whole life, I knew what I was doing.

When the knock came again, Sky wiped her eyes. “I’ve got to go.”

The sight of her moving for the door spooked me, and I shifted to block her path, my hands up in surrender. “Please,” I begged, my throat tight. “Don’t leave like this.”

She looked up at me, a sad glassiness to her eyes that tore me apart. I thought she wasn’t going to answer, and I was prepared to move aside, but then she reached for one of my hands, holding it to her chest over her racing heart. I cupped her cheek with the other and stepped closer. I’d messed everything up, but I needed her to give me some sign that we still had a chance.

She nuzzled into my hand. “Please be careful.”

“I will, baby,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss her, but she turned her head. My lips landed on her cheek as she sucked in a broken breath .

Before she stepped around me, she pressed a kiss to the back of my hand, her eyes fixed on mine like she was searching for something that used to be there.

“I’ll see you after the race,” she whispered, and then she left me in the bus, alone.