Page 25 of Down & Dirty (Holden Cove #1)

CHAPTER 25

SKY;AR

W hen Jacob insisted upon cooking us dinner, Cory looked like he was speaking in tongues. I got the impression he wasn’t much of a cook before now and even though there was amusement in Cory’s eyes, there was something else too. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

“So, you’re close with your folks, then?” Jacob asked me, his eyes on the pot he was stirring on the stove.

“Yes. We’ve always been pretty tight anyway, but when I took the job helping Ronnie, we all sort of banded together to form a team.”

“That sounds nice,” Jacob said, but his tone was colder.

Cory’s eyes were fixed on the beer bottle in his hand, picking at the label like he wasn’t entirely comfortable with this conversation. Considering how rarely he talked about his family, and that I’d never seen them at a race, this might have been a sensitive topic. So I decided to change it.

“That’s a nice bike upstairs. Have you been working out on it long?”

At the abrupt shift both Ellis men whipped in my direction. Cory was laughing again and his father glared at him for it.

“A few months. ”

“That’s great. I wish my dad would take better care of himself. It’s pulling teeth just to get him to eat vegetables. Ronnie is exactly like him and I have to work twice as hard on Micah after he spends the weekend with them.”

Jacob’s expression lightened again. “How old is your boy?”

“He’ll be six next summer.”

He stopped stirring and turned toward me. “That’s a great age.”

His smile was genuine, but there was a sadness in his eyes as he glanced quickly in Cory’s direction. Cory was looking down again. I wasn’t used to this quietness from him. Was I doing something wrong?

When Jacob turned back to the stove, I tapped Cory’s knee and silently asked if he was okay.

He let out a breath, straightening in his chair, before he shook his head and whispered, sorry .

“You should have seen Sky when she was that age, Pops. She used to ride, and I bet a hundred bucks she would have kicked Mack’s ass if they’d raced each other.”

“Why not your ass?” I asked, shoving his elbow off the table.

He and his father were both snickering again, and I tried to relax. It seemed like there was a lot that went unsaid around the Ellis boys, and I was going to have to pay attention or I’d be the one setting off a landmine I didn’t even know was there.

Jacob moved to the kitchen island, chopping veggies for a salad. “You were a little hellion, huh?”

I shook my head, hating being put on the spot to talk about myself. “I did all right.”

Cory scoffed. “Ronnie’s told me about her wall of medals back at their parents’ place. She did more than all right.”

Hearing that Ronnie had talked to Cory about my riding had me feeling a little more love for my baby brother. It also sent my blush raging, and Cory’s smile only grew when he saw it. His eyes beamed with pride as they trailed over my features, and even if he wasn’t touching me, it felt like a caress .

“As you can tell,” Jacob said, his gaze on me, “no one lacks for pride in this house. You might as well own up to yours.” He winked at me, and it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen.

“How much longer till we eat?” Cory asked, swallowing down the last of his beer.

Jacob looked at the pot on the stove, and then the clock on the wall. “Half hour or so.”

“Okay, we’ll be back.” He pushed up from chair and held his hand out to me. “Come on.”

After zipping me into my enormous coat, Cory led me down the front steps and toward a path across from the house that I hadn’t noticed when we pulled in. There were little solar lights stuck in the ground every ten feet or so, and even though I wouldn’t consider myself a city girl, I was glad to have them giving us some way to navigate as we headed deeper into the dark woods.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” I asked again, the off-feeling from before lingering even with my hand in his and both of us taking deep breaths of fresh air.

He dipped his head. “Yeah, sorry about that. Family stuff has always been a bit of a sore spot for us.”

“Because they don’t come to your races anymore?”

He shook his head. “They never really did.” He sighed heavily, like I’d hit one of those landmines right on the head. “They’ve always thought motocross was a bad idea.”

“But they had to have seen how talented you were. Why wouldn’t they have supported you?”

My parents had gone all in for both Ronnie and me when we’d shown them how serious we were about motocross. I couldn’t imagine that Ronnie would have gotten to where he was today without their support. To think that Cory had been on his own this whole time made me sad.

“When I first started riding, I wasn’t in to win. I just wanted to scare the shit out of myself. ”

I slowed down, trying to understand what that meant, but he only shook his head.

“Long story.” He tugged me back into stride beside him. “But anyway, they just never did what your folks did.”

“And do you think he feels bad about that now?”

Cory’s laugh was hollow. “No. I think he wishes we were all closer. But he’s not willing to change his mind on much to make that happen.”

His steps slowed, and suddenly the woods we’d been walking through opened up to reveal a black expanse. A pond. And above it, a sky so packed with stars my breath got caught in my chest. I dropped Cory’s hand and spun in place, my mouth hanging open.

“I’ve never seen anything like this.”

The sky wasn’t just black behind the sparkling lights. It was indigo and purple and shades of both that I’d never seen. It was like someone had cut a hole in the sky I’d known my whole life to reveal this other version, and all the skies I’d seen before this one paled in comparison.

“ Cory ,” I whispered.

The crunch of leaves was what told me he was close, because my eyes were still stuck upward, sweeping over the density of lights hanging low over our heads.

“What do you think?”

“Think?” I sighed, finally tearing my gaze away. He was watching me, his lips curled into a satisfied smile. “Is this why you brought me out here?”

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging as he gave the stars a passing glance. “I thought you’d like it.”

I looked back up, spinning again to take in the full swath of sky the pond gave us access to. “ Like isn’t the right word.”

Cory’s body heat was what I felt first, as he slipped into the space at my back. Then his arms, coming around my waist like they had that night in the hospital. He banded them around me and I leaned my weight into him, reveling in the feel of his sturdy hold. The crisp chill of the air was cut down by the warmth of his breath on my throat, and then the trace of his lips against my ear.

“If I could give you stars like this every night, I would,” he whispered, nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “But they still wouldn’t be as beautiful as you.”

My breath held, trapped inside me as I felt his words vibrate to my toes. The conviction in his voice spun through me, ripping and tearing at whatever composure I was holding on to. This was like that moment in the truck, only more intense. And once again, no one was around for the show.

Which meant it wasn’t a show at all. Right?

I swallowed hard. “Are you practicing again? Prepping me for another red carpet?”

His arms cinched tighter, as he growled in my ear. “No. Nothing is happening this weekend but us having a good time.”

“No cameras?”

“Nope.”

“No interviews?”

“Other than you and your twenty questions? Nope.”

I relaxed a little, turning to take in his profile as he stared out over the pond. “No show?”

When he looked back at me, not even the darkness that surrounded us could hide the fire in his eyes. He clenched his jaw as he took me in, and I licked my lips, waiting for him to say something.

He bent, touching his nose to mine with a sigh. “No show, no rouse, no farce. Just this.” He leaned back, his eyes still fixed on my mouth, the mere inches between us turning our breath into a fog that rose skyward and disappeared like a secret told only to the night.

“Is that okay?” he asked, watching me expectantly.

I reached up to cup his cheek, feeling the chill on his skin under my fingers. “Yes. More than okay.”

As if my words were a green flag, Cory leaned to kiss me. His lips were soft and gentle, but his arms held me to him like he was afraid to let me go. When I tried to turn in his hold, he grunted, giving me just enough room to spin against him and push up onto my toes to deepen the kiss.

We were all want. Stroking tongues and gasping breaths. His hands ran down my back and when he took my ass and lifted me toward him, I laughed against his lips. He pulled back, his smile matching my own as his eyes danced with desire.

“God dammit, I’ve wanted to do that for a fucking week,” he exhaled, trailing a finger along my jaw. “But it was worth the wait.”

My heart was fluttering so fast I thought it might literally rise up my throat and choke me. “You never said anything?” And he’d obviously held back in the courthouse.

Cory dropped my gaze. “After springing the whole marriage on you, I didn’t want to push my luck.”

“I said yes, remember?”

He opened his mouth, but a yell came through the woods. It wasn’t anything I could understand, but his face fell as he shook his head and glanced quickly at the sky.

“I do remember, gorgeous.” He took my hand and led me back toward the path. “You better believe that’s not the kind of thing a man like me forgets.”

“A man like you?”

He smiled over his shoulder at me. “One who’s never once thought of himself as very lucky, until now.”

“Sorry it’s storebought,” Jacob said, as he placed the pie on the table. “I’m not much of a baker.”

“You weren’t much of a cook, either,” Cory said, tossing his napkin in front of him. “But you did just fine tonight.”

The roast beef and rice he’d made was delicious. He’d even whipped up a homemade dressing for the salad.

“You really did,” I said, enjoying watching the older man sit up str aighter from our praise. “I would love the recipe for that salad dressing, if you have it.”

He puffed out his chest, running a hand through his thick beard. “I can find that for you, sure. I’m glad you liked it.”

“So, what inspired you to learn to cook?” Cory asked, humor still in his eyes as if he thought this whole thing was some sort of joke.

“I cooked when you were kids,” Jacob scoffed, grabbing our plates and taking them to the sink. “But you’re right, it wasn’t very good.” He chuckled under his breath, his eyes landing on Cory as he got up to bring over the salad bowl.

“I got this, Pops.”

His dad looked almost as surprised by the offer to help as I’d been that first night I’d cooked for us. But when Jacob sat back down with me, he exhaled and his shoulders dropped like he was finally off duty for the night.

“Back then, I was useless with anything but a grill. But a friend taught me a few things this summer and I’ve been expanding my skills ever since.”

Cory glanced back over his shoulder, his hands covered in soap suds. “What friend?”

Clearly Jacob didn’t appreciate the speculation in Cory’s tone, his brow cutting into a harsh line.

“Don’t you worry about my friends.” He turned back to me with a smile. “You have plenty of your own to keep you company.” Again, he winked at me, and this time I let myself laugh out loud. It was the funniest thing, to see them both do it.

Later standing at the foot of Cory’s bed, staring down at it, I felt a lot less humor, and my pulse started to race.

After the kiss out by the pond, the energy between us was charged. It was like we’d flipped a switch, but now I wasn’t so sure how far I wanted to go with it. Even if we didn’t have the contracts complicating things, I had a million questions about what he was thinking, and what all this meant. But it felt like too much to ask after a couple of kisses. And god, if he was just thinki ng of this physical connection between us as an added bonus of our arrangement, I’d look like a fool for making it into something more.

I still wasn’t even sure I wanted more.

Things were comfortable between us now, and being attracted to him was a surprising, but no longer unwelcome, evolution. But Cory was a man who lived his life on the road, and sold himself to the highest bidders. And being here had shown me he had shadows that I knew nothing about.

He might have more facets to him than I’d originally accounted for, but that still didn’t mean I knew enough to make a decision about where this was going, or what this was between us.

And it wasn’t just between us . Micah factored into this too. I refused to entangle him in a relationship that I might want, but that wasn’t going to last. He was too sweet, and he got too attached, for me to do that to him.

All of this was flooding my mind when I heard Cory close the door behind me. He must have read the apprehension on my face, because he laughed awkwardly and stepped around me to grab his bag off the bed.

“Don’t worry sugar. We’re not ready for that.”

I bit my lip, trying to gauge his reaction. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that look of terror on your face at the idea of sharing a bed with me.” He leaned over my shoulder, kissing my cheek before he said, “Nothing happens unless you want it to, Sky.”

A deep swelling appreciation mixed with my lingering unease. I trusted Cory, and hearing him say that was a reminder of how careful he’d been with me since the start. But now the ball was in my court and that pressure only made my heart race faster.

He pulled a pillow from the head of the bed, and tugged the extra blanket from the foot of it, tossing both onto the floor.

“You aren’t sleeping there?” It was hardwood covered by a thin braided rug .

“Beau’s room is too packed for me to deal with now. And dad’s new gym was the old spare.”

He pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a part of his body I’d never seen before and my mouth went dry. Every inch of him was sculpted, like god herself had run her hands along his skin, cutting and mounding muscles with the specific intention of driving women mad.

I fought the urge to stare, but I lost. White flag waving, I roved over his rounded shoulders, and thick biceps. I licked my lips when I got to the valley of his stomach and the way the patch of hair in the middle dipped down past my view, like a breadcrumb trail meant to be followed by eager hands, and lips, and tongues... Even his chest, dusted with dark hairs, was perfect, just as I’d imagined every time he’d pulled me against it. Hard and strong, and sturdy enough to bear the weight of me and all my stupid fears.

Why didn’t I want to sleep with him again?

When Cory cleared his throat, I whipped up to find him watching me. His eyebrows were up by his hairline, and his mouth was curled into the most obnoxious grin. Pure arrogance at catching me in my appraisal. But honestly, I wasn’t even ashamed. The man was more like a work of art than I’d ever imagined, and not giving him his due would have been a worse offense.

“You like what you see, gorgeous?”

That nickname, coming from his smirking lips, while he taunted me in all his shirtless glory was like a shot of arousal straight to my veins.

“You look fine.”

He barked out a laugh, snapping me out of my daze. And then I laughed with him. Because my body humming at the mere sight of Cory’s torso was pretty ridiculous. And yet it felt so good, I didn’t mind.

“Thanks.” He fanned the blanket out on the floor.

I scowled again. “Stop. This is silly. You’ll be sore as hell tomorrow if you sleep on the hard wood. And I’m expecting a full tour o f this town of yours, so you can’t be half asleep all day because you were miserable all night. Just keep your hands to yourself.”

He was eyeing me uncertainly, but I turned away to pull out my pajamas. A pair of leggings and a vintage AC/DC concert T-shirt. I took both and went for the door to change in the bathroom, but he stopped me with a hand on my arm.

“Are you sure?”

“You’ll behave?” He gave me an offended look, like I should know better. And I did. “I wouldn’t have said anything if I thought otherwise.”

“You too,” he said, bending to scoop up the blanket. “No wiggling that perfect ass in my face.”

I shook my head as I opened the door. “I’ll wiggle all I want. You can just count to ten or something.” I looked back at him as he tossed the pillow back on the bed and shook his head with a chuckle.

“Whatever you say, boss.”

A giddy wave rippled through me as I got changed and brushed my teeth. It had been so long since I’d had sex, I’d almost forgotten how good it could be. But the idea of snuggling up next to Cory for the night soothed a special kind of longing. I’d been wrapped in the safety of his arms before, felt how sure his body held me. Being next to him all night was so enticing I practically trotted back into the room.

The warmth of his smile when he saw me only made that giddy wave topple further. He yanked the covers back and patted the mattress, a coy invitation to join him. I schooled my expression, masking some of my excitement so the man didn’t think I was nuts.

But when I sidled in beside him and turned onto my side, he was right behind me, notching his knees into the bend of mine, draping his arm over me and tugging me close.

“Is this all right?” he asked.

I heard the smile in his tone. He knew it was okay .

“It’ll do,” I replied coolly, and I’d have bet money he picked up on my smile, too.

He reached past me to hit the bedside lamp, settling his arm over me again with a sigh.

Normally, after a day of traveling I’d have crashed into a deep sleep. But not this time. It might have been the excitement of being in Cory’s bed with him, but even as that waned, I couldn’t slip under.

“Do you want me to let go?” his voice came out of the dark a while later.

“No,” I said, tucking his arm against my chest.

“Then what’s up?”

A ball lodged in my throat, thick and uneasy. After such a nice day, and the kiss out at the pond, I didn’t want to ruin things. But I couldn’t stop turning over and over on the way everything about him shifted when he mentioned his mother. It didn’t feel like my place to ask about something so personal, but it was just as hard to let it go when I could tell it still brought up so much for him.

“Spit it out, gorgeous, or we’ll both be zombies tomorrow.” He sighed, kissing the back of my neck. “Besides, I think I already know. So, just ask.”

“How do you know?” I’d worked really hard to not pry, no matter how curious I was.

He surprised me, giving my shoulder a gentle but firm bite before he growled, “Skylar.”

I huffed out a breath, letting the words tumble out. “I’m thinking about your mom, and what happened to her.”

The hair on my neck blew across my skin as his loud exhale gusted over me. I froze, trying to read Cory’s body language in the dark.

When he kissed my neck again, nestling closer to me, I tightened my grip on his wrist, trying to give him whatever support I could, almost sorry I asked.

“I was eight years old. She’d come to pick my brothers and I up fro m a birthday party. It was February, and a storm was rolling in. We’d been out in the woods riding bikes and I didn’t want to come in yet.” He shivered, and I snaked my leg between his even though I knew he wasn’t cold. “I should have just listened. But I took off. It was over an hour before I finally came back to the house and we got on the road. By then the snow and sleet was coming down and the pavement was slick...”

When he paused, I held my breath. Wherever this story was going, I could hear the remorse in his voice, the way his words scraped out. My heart was pounding painfully, imagining the little kid he was back then.

“There was a steep hill, and a curve, and she lost control.”

His voice was so low, so hollow. I knew he was reliving it all and I felt awful for pushing him.

“The bank dropped off and we went down the hill until we crashed into a tree. She was trapped. I didn’t understand at the time that the steering column...” When he paused, I tugged him closer again. His fingers laced with mine. “She sent us for help in different directions, Mack and Beau in one and me in another. We weren’t that far from home, but the houses are pretty spread out here, and we each went running to find someone to call 911.”

I wanted to turn, to hold him, but I was afraid to move.

“By the time I got back, the paramedics were taking her away. Mack had left Beau with the neighbor, but he was there. He never said anything, he just stood staring at the stretcher, his face white as a ghost.” He sniffed, his legs shifting to wedge more tightly between mine. “I never saw her again. The police brought us to the hospital, and dad got there a little later. But she’d already died. No one ever said that, but I could tell. Mack knew. He just didn’t say it.”

“Cory . . .”

He blew out a harsh breath. “If we’d left when she got there, the roads wouldn’t have been so bad.”

No. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I spun in his hold, taking his fa ce in my hands. “Don’t do that. You didn’t cause the accident. You were a kid.”

His eyes were glassy, his jaw so tight I thought it might snap. “All I had to do was listen.”

“She might have crashed even if you’d come back right away. You aren’t to blame for that.”

“Maybe,” he whispered, looking away. I could tell he didn’t really believe me. “After that, my dad...he was gone for a while. Not physically, but he just stopped living. He’d drink all day, locking himself in his room. Sometimes he’d make dinner. But most of the time it was Mack doing that kind of thing. Beau was still so young. He didn’t understand what was going on. I’m not sure I did either. But after that, nothing really mattered. Nothing was ever the same.”

His voice was so cold, so distant. “I’m so sorry, Cory. That must have been awful.”

“I just wish I’d been able to help her. She sent us all away, but we should have stayed with her.”

“She was your mom. She was protecting you.”

“I know,” he nodded, his scowl dark and confused, even all these years later. “But I’ll always wish I could have done more. I’d have done anything.”

When he closed his eyes my heart lurched. I brushed my thumbs across his cheeks, wiping at the tears he hadn’t let fall but I could hear in his voice, smoothing across the crease on his brow from the weight of it all.

“Coming back here makes it harder, doesn’t it?”

His eyes darted around my face, working on a swallow. “It’s easier with you here.”

The throbbing pain in my throat burst, a soft cry bubbling up as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He hauled me to him, cinching me tight to his chest, as a ripple of emotion shook through him.

When I let him go and eased back onto my own pillow, he held my gaz e. “Why didn’t you ask me before? You’re one of the most curious people I know. You were obviously wondering.”

I sighed, deflating as I looked out the window behind him. “It felt like it wasn’t my place. We still don’t know each other very well. And I didn’t think I deserved to know.”

Cory frowned at me, his fingers tracing the edge of my jaw. “You get me better than most people, gorgeous. If there’s something you want to know, just ask. I’ve got nothing to hide from you.” He slipped his fingers into my hair and pulled me closer for a soft, gentle kiss, as if trying to chase away some of the lingering emotion. “And you deserve a hell of a lot more than you think.”

After what he’d just shared, it felt strange to have him making me feel better. But his words did just that. They sifted through me, soothing some of my anxiety and settling warmly in my chest.

“Thank you for telling me.”

He kissed me again, holding his lips to mine for a second longer before he pulled away. “Thank you for caring.”

Cory didn’t have many people in his life. And maybe even fewer that really cared about him. My heart hurt to think of how alone he must feel. And then coming back here to so many memories of pain and loss. I was suddenly even more glad he’d asked me to come.

We lay in silence for a while, letting our fingers drift over each other, trailing faint lines along shoulders and arms and cheeks that spread a soothing sort of peace through us both. And when I yawned, Cory smiled sleepily.

“Goodnight Skylar,” he whispered, his lips trailing across the backs of my knuckles before I rolled over and tucked myself into him like before.

“Goodnight Cory,” I whispered back, hearing his heavy sigh before sleep took us both.