Page 42

FORTY

HAWK

JACKSON:

How is she?

JACKSON:

I know you’re getting my texts. Your read receipts are on.

JACKSON:

Hawk, please. Just tell me how she’s doing.

JACKSON:

I’m staying at Ace’s until I can figure something else out. I know she has practice at eleven, so I’ll come by then to grab some stuff.

JACKSON:

I’m sorry. I’m just trying to protect her.

I set my phone on the counter, ignoring the last string of texts from Jacks this morning. He’s been sending them non-stop since he left yesterday, and to be honest, I’m too fucking pissed to reply. I don’t know if my anger is toward him or just the situation in general, but holding her as she cried herself to sleep last night was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time. It had me ready to spiral myself, but I refused to break in front of her. So, I held it in. I still am—at least until she leaves in a couple of hours. For now, I’m distracting myself by baking as quiet music plays in the background because the silence around me without him here is deafening.

I still don’t know everything that went down in the kitchen yesterday, but I was able to put enough of the pieces together to understand his reason for leaving. That doesn’t mean I think it was the right choice—because I think we could’ve talked it out and come up with a plan—but from his point of view, I see why he thought there wasn’t a better option in the heat of the moment.

Jackson is a protector. He may not be scrappy or short-tempered like I am, but he acts on instinct when it comes to the people he loves—no one more so than Arden. That’s why he’s been such a huge source of comfort for her all these years. Because she knows that if something bad happens, he’ll shoulder the burden and help her through it. This time, that was the exact thing that took him from her.

And from me.

It’s only been twenty-four hours, but I’m feeling his absence more than I ever could’ve imagined. I know our friendship isn’t over, and that his love for me and Arden is still just as strong as it was before he walked out the door, but it feels like everything has changed. He’s always been the sunshine on my darker days, pulling me back to reality when I wanted to give up, and not having him here to keep me grounded while I’m trying to ease her pain is hard. I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope, telling her it’s going to be okay while attempting to fend off my own anxiety about the future. Will he come back? Will he move out completely? Will they be able to be around each other, or will it cause them too much heartbreak?

I know this is all stuff I need to discuss with him, but for now, I’m only worried about my broken, beautiful girl. She was ready to risk everything to be with us both, and it isn’t lost on me how huge that is. She’s worked her whole life to get to where she is, but her love for me and Jacks is so strong, that she was prepared to choose us if it came down to it. That’s why I’m here—because I want to show her what that means to me. I just hope I can be enough.

The timer beeps, and I slip an oven mitt over my hand before pulling the muffin tin out of the heat. I set it on the rack to cool, hoping I can at least get Arden to eat before practice. She refused yesterday, and I didn’t push the issue because I didn’t want to upset her any further. But she needs to take her meds, and I don’t want her leaving without some carbs in her system. She has another match in two days, and I know she needs all the energy she can get to prepare.

Just as I’m getting a glass for her water, quiet footsteps pad along the floor and into the room. I turn, pasting on the most reassuring smile I can muster as my eyes settle on her tired face. She’s fresh from a night of interrupted sleep, wearing one of Jackson’s old t-shirts and a pair of panties. Her hair is wild and knotted from tossing and turning, and her skin is still blotchy from crying. It’s raw and real, and even with everything that’s going on, I feel like the luckiest motherfucker in the world. She’s mine. She chose me—and that’s something I haven’t gotten to experience many times in my twenty-five years. I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life showing her how grateful I am that she’s trusting me with her heart.

“Morning, beautiful,” I say, stepping in and pulling her into a hug. “Pumpkin muffins are ready. I even threw together some cream cheese frosting, just for you.” Her sad eyes light up as she raises her head, and for the first time since yesterday, a small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. My heart squeezes in my chest at the sight, because part of me was afraid I wouldn’t be able to console her with the same softness he does. And I certainly can’t fuck this kind of pain away—at least not right now. She needs easy and gentle…and she needs it from me.

“Where is it?” she asks, lowering her long lashes as she runs her hands over my shirtless chest and abs, stopping at the waistband of my black basketball shorts. I’m happy she’s even entertaining the thought of food right now; I was worried about her going another day without eating. It’s exactly why I went all out, using the unhealthiest, most sugar-filled recipe I have. If it makes her feel even a fraction better, I’ll hook her up with all the junk food she wants.

I raise a playful brow. “Gimme a kiss, and I’ll tell you.” Her smile grows even bigger as she pushes to her tiptoes and brushes her warm, plump lips against mine. Electricity zaps across my skin, and my stomach flips as she wraps her arms around my waist and melts into my body. Pressing my cheek to the top of her head, I breathe her in, and at this moment, I know that, even if we have to do it on our own, we’ll make it to the other side of this shitstorm. I hope Jackson gets it together and realizes that his place is right here with us, but if not, Arden and I will be okay.

She gasps as I secure my hands on her hips, lifting her to sit on the counter before turning to the refrigerator. I reach in, pulling out the bowl I’ve had chilling for the last thirty minutes, then return to my girl. She tilts her head shyly, and I take a chance, dragging my finger through the sweet mixture and raising it to her mouth. Just like the first night we touched each other, she parts her lips, wrapping them around me and gently sucking it from my skin. It isn’t filled with tension and desire like it was then. This time, it’s something different. The trust and appreciation in her deep gaze tell me everything I need to know right now. That she’s in this with me for good, and I’ll never have to feel the sharp sting of being left alone again.

“I love you, Hellcat. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” I whisper, dropping my forehead to hers. Her brown eyes flutter closed, and a wave of sadness tightens her expression before she exhales a shaky breath.

“I love you too,” she replies quietly. “Thank you, Hawk—for staying here with me. I know this affects you too, and I’m going to look into getting a place of my own as soon as I can. I don’t want Jacks to be uncomfortable, and I don’t think I’ll be able to handle being here if he comes back and acts like we’re nothing.” The despair in her tone makes me want to walk to the other side of this building, rip my best friend out of Ace’s guest bed, and haul him back here to see the consequences of taking matters into his own hands. I’m sure he’s confused and hurting too, but that’s even more of a reason to consider the pros and cons of his relationship with Arden instead of just ending it like this.

I take her hands in mine, rubbing my thumbs along her knuckles. “Let’s not make any rash decisions so soon, baby. He’s fine where he is at the moment. My main priority right now is making sure you’re alright, and I’m positive he wouldn’t want you leaving, either. Let’s just get through today, then we’ll worry about tomorrow. Okay?”

She nods, smiling weakly. “Yeah.”

The word makes the tightness in my chest dissipate slightly, and I’m grateful she’s not acting on impulse the way Jacks is. With her new endorsement and contract from the Flare, she could definitely afford to move into a place of her own, but I’m determined to keep her here with me—and eventually, with him.

I have no idea how I’m going to do it, but I have to find a way to get my family back together.