Page 15

THIRTEEN

HAWK

I push my way into the dark condo, trying my best to be quiet so I don’t wake Jacks and Arden. It’s after midnight and the team just arrived home from our road trip. It was a long one, and I’m ready to relax for the next couple of days. Playoffs start in two weeks, so this will be the last break we have before things get crazy. Hopefully, by the end of October, the Daytona Fury will be World Series champs. This group of guys deserves it after everything they’ve sacrificed this year. The time away from their families, long hours at practice, and dedication to the team come at a price. Some feel it more than others. Guys like Riggs are away from their girls for days at a time, just to come home for a night before doing it all over again.

Baseball has always been an escape for me. A way to fill the emptiness in my life with something so I didn’t dwell on everything I was missing. I never intended for it to be like that, but the longer I went without my brothers, the more I relied on the game to keep me from spiraling. I welcome the idea of going from city to city and spending nights in random hotel rooms because even my own home never truly felt full without Hayden and Henry in it.

At least not until recently.

As comfortable as I am with Jackson when we’re here, I’ve struggled to feel like I really had a purpose in our roommate dynamic. Sure, I pay half the bills. I cook and clean. But at the end of the day, I have little to offer beyond that. When I’m grappling with my anxiety and abandonment issues, he’s taking care of me—making sure I’m eating and getting to practice on time. I know he’s lost sleep during my episodes, and I’ll never be able to tell him how grateful I am. I’m terrible with words when it comes to my emotions, and he certainly doesn’t need me to return any similar favors since he doesn’t struggle with things the way I do. But with Arden here?

I make a difference.

The way I got her through her panic attack and then opened up a conversation that led to her decision to talk to someone made me feel like I truly helped. I mean, she took the big steps herself, but she might not have if I wasn’t there to make her feel seen. That’s all she really needed.

I remove my shoes, putting them in the entryway closet along with my suitcase and duffle bag. I’ll need to sort through them tomorrow, but right now, I just want to go to bed. My whole body aches and my eyes burn with exhaustion. I don’t know why, but I have trouble sleeping on the team plane, so I usually just stare out the window and crash in my own bed as soon as I get home.

As I make my way toward the living room, movement on the stairs catches my eye. I look up to find Arden, half asleep, walking toward me in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and panties. It’s her normal bedtime attire, but every time I see those gorgeous, toned thighs on display, I feel like a fumbling virgin with the way my dick immediately swells. It’s just the effect she’s always had on me.

She doesn’t notice me at first, rubbing her eyes as she descends. As soon as she does, a sleepy smile blooms across her face—one that I can’t help but return because she’s so goddamn cute.

“You’re home,” she says, finally reaching the floor and stopping just a few feet in front of me.

“Miss me?” I ask, raising a brow.

“Mhmm,” she hums contentedly. At her admission, I can’t stop myself from closing the distance and pulling her into a hug. Her fruity shampoo invades my senses, and I revel in her warmth as she wraps her small arms around my waist. It’s completely out of character for me to be doing this since I’m not a hugger at all, but with her, continuing to fight it feels wrong. I know I’ll have to talk with Jackson about it eventually, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I just want to enjoy the time I have with her.

“What are you doing up so late?” I say, pulling back, but not letting her go. She tilts her head up, and I realize how small she is compared to me, despite playing a sport where she has to clear a seven-foot net to block. But I’ve seen her highlight reels online, and she has no issues with that.

“I’m hungry,” she replies sheepishly. This girl is all about her midnight snacks, and I have to say, I kind of love them too.

“Oh yeah? How about some chocolate zucchini muffins?” I was planning on making them tomorrow, but if she’s hungry now, there’s no point in waiting.

“That’s okay,” she says, her smile fading. “I’ll just have some cereal or something. You don’t have to bake for me.”

Memories of the first night she was here replay in my mind at her words. She asked me where I learned to bake, and like a dickhead, I stormed out of the room because the question made me think about my brothers. Although it wasn’t that long ago, it feels like years have gone by since then. I’ve started to build a bond with Arden, and I’m already feeling differently about the parts of myself I was trying so hard to hide from her before.

“I want to bake for you,” I reply, reaching up and pushing a rogue piece of hair behind her ear—another gentle gesture that’s very unlike me, but I can’t seem to stop myself from softening around this girl. I still want to rip her to shreds behind closed doors, but those fantasies are just for me—at least for now.

She nods. “Alright.” I shoot her a satisfied grin, glad that she’s agreeing after I dismissed her so badly last time before taking her hand in mine and leading her into the kitchen. I flip the light switch, illuminating the room, but immediately lower the dimmer so it’s not as bright. With any luck, I can feed her, and she’ll still be able to go back to sleep until it’s time for her to get ready for practice.

She takes a seat at the table, and I make my way around the room, washing my hands and gathering the items to make muffins. This recipe is a quick one, so she won’t have to wait long to eat. Setting the ingredients on the counter, I preheat the oven and get to work. She’s pretty quiet at first, watching me prepare the batter, and when I catch her studying my face, I suddenly want to let her see even more of me.

“I used to bake for my younger brothers,” I tell her. “I was a product of our mom and dad’s early on-and-off relationship. She was always a drinker, but when it got really bad, my dad made her choose between him and the alcohol. It took her a while to get her shit together, but eventually, she got sober, and they reconciled.

“After Hayden and Henry were born, my mom relapsed, although I’m not entirely convinced she wasn’t just really good at hiding shit the whole time. Our dad left again, and the responsibility of caring for my brothers was on my shoulders. Sometimes I had to get creative with the food we had, so we’d make a game of finding recipes that worked. Some were awful, but every now and then, I’d pull off a miracle and be able to give them dinner and dessert on the same night. Baking became our thing, and even now, it reminds me of them.”

“Where are they now?” she asks, tilting her head in confusion. “You don’t see them often?”

I look down into the bowl as zucchini shavings fall through the grater in a heap. As much as I want to tell her everything, it’s hard, because I know there’s a chance this part of my life may never have a happy ending.

“Our dad came and took them right after I turned eighteen. I hadn’t been drafted yet, so I didn’t have the means to care for them. Right now, everything is fucked, but I’m hoping someday, they’ll understand that I wanted them, and I’ve missed them every day since they left. The memories still take me to a scary place sometimes. It’s not always easy to get out.” Anxiety swirls and grips my heart like a vise, and I swallow the lump in my throat as I inhale deeply. Before it has a chance to drag me under, Arden is out of her chair and stepping up behind where I’m standing. Snaking her arms around my waist, she presses her head between my shoulder blades, holding me tightly.

“I’ve got you,” she says, her fingers skating gently over the fabric of my t-shirt. I focus on the feeling, exhaling a shaky breath and dropping my head forward as I relax. This is a first for me. I’ve never been pulled away from the darkness so effortlessly before, but it’s like she knew exactly what kind of light I needed. She really fucking sees me …the same way I see her.

I turn in her arms, bringing my hands to her face and falling into her deep brown eyes. They’re full of emotion, and I feel like a million pounds have been lifted off my shoulders as she softly smiles up at me.

“I’ve got you, too,” I say, leaning down and brushing my lips against hers. She sighs as though she’s been waiting years for the kiss, and fuck , I feel the same. She opens in invitation, allowing me to tangle my tongue with hers. Sparks of electricity skitter across my skin, and I deepen our connection, letting myself get lost in the way she tastes. Everything about this girl is an anomaly, starting with the way she makes me want to be gentle and rough all at once. I long to care for her and break her, then put her back together and do it all over again.

Pulling away reluctantly, I press another soft peck to her plump lips before this gets out of hand right in the middle of our kitchen. I’m prepared to tell Jacks how I feel about Arden, even though it’s going to be hard, but I don’t want him seeing us together before I get the chance. If I’m not careful, I could end up losing him, and that can’t happen. No matter what, he’s still the most important person in my life.

“Want to help me?” I ask, turning back to the bowls that sit on the counter. There honestly isn’t much to this recipe, but if it means I can keep her close, I’ll pretend it’s the most complex thing I’ve ever baked.

She scrunches her nose. “Hawk, there’s a reason I was coming in here for cereal. I can’t cook. Like, at all. I promise, if you let me touch those muffins, I’ll find a way to make them taste like ass.”

A sly grin tugs at the corners of my mouth as I slide my eyes her way. “Lucky for you, I’m a big fan of eating ass.” Her jaw falls open and she chokes out a gasp, making me chuckle in response. I hand her the whisk, emptying the measured ingredients into a bowl while she mixes them together. When it’s ready, I pour it into the tins before dipping a finger into the thick batter and bringing it in front of her lips to taste. Her gaze burns into mine as she slowly leans forward, sucking it into her mouth and moaning as her tongue swirls around the tip. I stifle a groan as she takes it even deeper, her throat constricting around me when she swallows. I meant for it to be a playful gesture, but if I don’t get her alone in about ten seconds, I’m going to take her right here on the counter.

“You’re a bad fucking girl,” I growl quietly, pulling my finger from her mouth and racing to get the muffins into the waiting oven. I check the clock, but don’t bother setting a timer before yanking her through the pantry door and closing it behind us. It’s dark, save for the small nightlights that line the shelves, but I can see everything I need to.

I waste no time pulling her into me and taking her lips in a searing kiss, this one much more demanding and desperate than the one we shared a few minutes ago. Her quiet whimpers intensify into needy whines as I turn us, pushing her against the door before shoving my hand inside her thin panties. She gasps loudly when my middle finger presses against her clit, and I cover her mouth with my free hand to muffle the sound.

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll stop,” I grit out, rubbing circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves. She nods frantically, her breathing becoming more labored as she widens her stance and invites me to slide between her slick lips. “You’re soaked, baby,” I say, pushing inside with two fingers. Her swollen flesh hugs me tightly, and I almost pass out just from the thought of how she’d grip my dick as I pounded into her.

“Mhmm,” she mumbles beneath my hand, her eyes rolling back in pleasure as I pump in and out, coaxing her release to the surface.

“What a sweet little pussy you have,” I coo, and her inner muscles flutter in response. “I’d split you right in half, Hellcat. And I’d love every minute of it.”

She whines again, her legs beginning to shake as I press my body into hers for support. I’m shocked at how reactive she is to my touch, and how quickly I have her teetering on the precipice of an orgasm just from my fingers. I’d give anything to really play with her, bringing her to the edge and then ripping her away as she cried and begged for mercy. But right now…I just need to feel her explode.

Leaning in so my lips are ghosting against her ear, I test the theory I’ve had for a while but couldn’t be sure of. “Come. Now,” I demand, and just like that, she shatters. A scream works its way up her throat and her hands shoot to my wrist, holding me in place as she rides out her climax. Her hips mindlessly grind into my palm before her walls contract so intensely that I worry for a second that she might snap my fingers right off. I had a feeling she’d be the perfect sub, but I didn’t know until just now how responsive she’d be to taking orders.

The waves slowly subside, and she relaxes against the door, her breaths steadying as I let my hand fall from her mouth. I press a gentle kiss to her cheek, smiling against the warm skin. “Such a good girl, coming when you’re told.” She hums contentedly, her eyes fluttering open to look at me like I just gave her everything she’s ever wanted. “Did that feel good?”

She nods, a satiated smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I want to taste you. Can I?”

Fucking hell. She’s flawless.

“I can’t think of anything I want more, Hellcat. Are you sure you can be quiet, though? We wouldn’t want to wake your brother when you’re choking on my cock, would we?” I shouldn’t bring Jacks into this, especially knowing how he feels about her, but I can’t help it. Now that I’ve made her come, I want to defile her in the filthiest ways. Apparently, that isn’t limited to involving him in what we’re doing—or at least thinking about it.

“ Stepbrother ,” she breathes, lowering to her knees as I chuckle darkly. I’ve always had a bit of a corruption kink, and I can’t say the idea of him witnessing all the things I’ve fantasized about doing to her doesn’t turn me on. Obviously, I wouldn’t want that to happen before I got a chance to talk to him, so I’m going to have to take it easy on her for now.

Looking down, I focus on Arden as she slowly pulls at the waistband of my shorts and boxer briefs. I’m grateful that there’s enough light for me to see her expression as my cock comes into view, because she does not disappoint. Her eyes go wide, and she trails her fingertip over the underside of my shaft, stopping to gently toy with the barbell that sits right beneath my head. I hiss a breath through my teeth as she continues to explore, finding the other piercing that decorates the top of the base, right over my pubic bone.

“Oh my God,” she whispers, and my dick twitches when her tongue darts out to wet her lips. “You’re pierced.”

“You like them?” I ask, ghosting my hand along her cheek. She nods her head eagerly in approval, a shy smile forming on her gorgeous face. “Show me how much.”

She doesn’t need to be told twice, leaning forward and running her warm, wet tongue up my length with a satisfied moan. She stops, circling around the tip and playing with my piercing for a moment before wrapping her lips around me and sliding down until I’m touching the back of her throat. My cock grows harder as she grips onto my hips with both hands, slowly wiggling her head from side to side so she can work me in even further. Determined whimpers vibrate against me, and I look to the ceiling because, goddamn , this is the best head I’ve ever gotten in my life.

“Holy fuck, baby,” I whisper into the quiet room. “You’re making it impossible not to want to obliterate that tight little throat.” I’ve been gentle with her in every sense of the word, but it’s not what I’m used to. I rarely ever kiss the women I’m with, and the sex is always transactional. Our objective is to get what we need from one another and move on. But here, with Arden, it’s not like that. She’s the first person I’ve felt more for, and I don’t know if I should show her how I really fuck. First, because I don’t want her to feel disrespected, and second, because I’d never forgive myself if I hurt her in a way she didn’t consent to.

She pulls back, using her hand to stroke me as her gaze finds mine. “Do it, Hawk. Fuck my face.” Her eyes are pleading, and if I wasn’t already hanging by a thread, looking at how full of need she is while she begs would definitely do the trick.

She waits, leisurely sliding her palm up and down my shaft as I consider what she’s asking for. Her desirous expression never falters—not even for a second—until I finally give in to what we’re both craving so badly.

Stepping closer, I cradle her cheeks in my hands and tilt her head so I have her undivided attention. “I’m not going to be easy on you,” I say firmly. “If it’s too much, I want you to tap my thigh twice. Do you understand?” She nods, but it’s not enough for me. She has to say it. “Words, Arden. Give me words.”

“I understand.”

That’s all I need to let go, taking my cock by the base and shoving it between her open lips. Her eyes go wide with surprise, both hands shooting up to my thighs and pushing against them as I hold her head and drive into her throat until I can’t go any further. She gags in protest, so I pull back, allowing her to take a quick breath before pistoning forward again, this time setting a steady rhythm as I fuck her. She surrenders, letting me control the movements with my hands and hips while I slide her up and down my length.

“What a sweet little fleshlight you are, Hellcat. I had no idea you’d be so eager to choke on cock, but look at you. Taking it like you were made for it.” Her eyes roll back at my words, and I watch with rapt attention as one hand leaves me and dives into her panties. The thought of her getting so turned on by how rough I’m being that she has to touch herself has me feeling like a caged animal, ready to chase down his prey and tear her apart.

A loud moan reverberates against the head of my dick, and I lightly slap my palm against her cheek. Her eyes shoot up as I continue brutalizing her throat, never slowing while I reprimand her. “Quiet down. You’ll wake Jacks. Is that what you want?” To my surprise, she doesn’t shake her head in disagreement, moaning louder as her entire body begins to shake.

Fuck. Me. She’s going to come.

All of a sudden, I couldn’t give less of a fuck how wrong it is. It seems the idea of him turns her on, and I’m dying to know how deep it runs.

“He could come in here right now and find you on your knees for me, Arden. What if he liked watching you suck this cock so much, he had to stroke his own? Would that make your pussy gush?” Her answer is a desperate whimper as her hand moves faster between her legs, her climax finally crashing into her like a tidal wave. Her eyes roll back as her body shudders, and I slow my thrusts so she can ride it out, watching in awe until she’s wrung completely dry.

“Hands back on my thighs if you want me to fill your mouth,” I tell her. She obeys immediately, and I don’t miss how utterly soaked her fingers are when they press against my skin. I could tease her about squirting all over herself at the thought of me and Jackson using her at the same time, but I don’t. It’s definitely an interesting development, but not something we should be unpacking here in this pantry.

Gripping her hair in my hands, I pump my hips, electricity shooting through my body and gathering deep inside my core. I grunt quietly as my balls draw tight, until I finally unload into her with one final thrust. Her throat constricts against my pulsing cock, prolonging my orgasm until I feel like I can’t possibly give her another drop.

She slowly pulls back, sliding off me and using her finger to gather the cum that’s rolling down her chin before sucking it between her red, swollen lips. She hums in satisfaction, smiling up at me innocently as if she didn’t just suck me off like a goddamn pro. I choke out a surprised laugh as I reach under her arms and pull her to her feet, holding onto her waist while she attempts to regain her bearings.

“You okay? Did you like all of that?” I ask, hoping I didn’t hurt her. I was rougher than I initially intended, but she seemed to be into it.

“Mhmm,” she replies, leaning into my chest and nuzzling against it. I never skip out on aftercare, but cuddling isn’t my go-to move. I don’t normally like to be held after sex—or ever, really. Unsurprisingly, Arden is the exception to yet another rule as I wrap my arms around her and press my cheek to the top of her head.

We stand there holding one another in the quiet room until it hits me that I never set a timer. “Shit. I have to take the muffins out before they burn.” As much as it pains me, I kiss her one last time before pulling away.

She giggles quietly, smoothing her hair and clothes as I open the door and peek into the kitchen to make sure we’re still alone. Thankfully, we are, since we were definitely louder than we should’ve been. “My panties are wet. I need to go change into new ones before I eat.”

“Not a chance,” I reply, stepping out of the room with her following closely behind me. “Get that fine ass upstairs, get naked, and I’ll be up in a few minutes with your snack. Then, I’m going to rub another orgasm out of you before I put you to bed.” Her brows shoot up and an approving smile blooms across her face before she hurries out of the room, making me chuckle. When she’s out of sight, I shake my head in wonder at what the fuck just happened, unable to ignore the unfamiliar feeling of contentment that’s been rekindled deep inside me.