Page 74 of Discretion

I appreciated that he’d offered, but it didn’t change anything. Mylife, my friends, my job, were in London. I couldn’t abandon Sloan, and my ex would never agree to let me move so far away with our son.

“My life is here,” I said, misery marking my tone.

I didn’t want it to end either, but we had to be realistic. And a long-distance relationship was not realistic. Not with the demands of our work schedules or my home life. And not when I needed this job, now more than ever.

If having an affair with my boss’s brother was reckless, wanting a relationship with him was even more so. If anyone found out… I didn’t want to think of the consequences for either of us.

Which was why I had to end this. I couldn’t let Jasper believe we had a chance. I couldn’t let him hope for anything more than this moment.

He dropped his forehead to mine, a somber expression on his face. I hadn’t expected to see him again before he’d left, but he’d surprised me by coming to the office before his flight.

“You know where I am if you change your mind.”

And you know where I am,I thought. He didn’t mind if I was inconvenienced, but he wasn’t willing to make the sacrifice to be with me? It was just like something my ex would do.

And in that moment, I realized that I was falling into my same old patterns. And I refused to do that. I didn’t want to be in another “relationship” where I was putting in all the work. I didn’t want to let myself fall for another man who would never be the partner I deserved.

These past few weeks, they weren’t reality. And leading Jasper on—giving him false hope—wouldn’t be good for either of us. So I forced myself to say the words, “I won’t.”

“Would you like anything to drink?”Tabitha asked, snapping me out of the memory.

“I’m okay for now.” I smiled. “Thank you.”

I stood and headed for the bathroom, stumbling in my eager attempt to escape. She tried to help me, and I declined the assistance, embarrassed. I darted inside and quickly locked the door, hating how frazzled and out of control I felt. I prided myself on having my shit together. And right now, I was a hot mess.

I braced myself on the edge of the sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

Why? Why did it have to be him?

Why did our chemistry have to be so strong?

Was it, as I’d often wondered since our fling, the forbidden element that made everything that much hotter with Jasper? Or was it just…him?

I had a feeling I knew the answer, but I hadn’t been willing to admit it to myself. It seemed like there were a lot of things I hadn’t been willing to admit to myself, including how much I liked Jasper and not just because the sex was amazing. Which it was.

Finally, accepting that I couldn’t stay in here forever, I washed my hands and dried them before exiting the bathroom.

Jasper was waiting just outside. He reached out as if to touch me, before retracting his hand. We were out of the line of sight of his family, but it was a small plane, and it would soon become obvious that we were both missing. He scrutinizedme, and I wanted to squirm beneath the intensity of his stare.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then the plane hit a spot of unexpected turbulence, and I lost my balance. I stumbled forward, straight into Jasper. And he remained there, strong, unshakable, his touch gentle yet firm as he steadied me. I sucked in a sharp breath at the unexpected contact.

He looked hungry. Desperate, despite his buttoned-up appearance.

Images of my dream flashed through my mind in lurid detail. His hands on my skin. His mouth on my…

My knees wobbled, threatening to give out. And he kept holding me. And I didn’t want him to stop.

There was a chime on the overhead speaker, and I jolted.What am I doing? What arewedoing?

“Well, folks,” the captain said, while Jasper watched me with concern, “we’ve hit a pocket of unexpected turbulence. Please take a seat and buckle up. We’ll try to navigate us to smoother airspace.”

“Here,” Jasper said, ushering me toward the private office and lounge. His hand was on the small of my back, and it sent a bolt of lightning down my spine.

“Shouldn’t we—” I paused, giving the main cabin where the rest of his family was seated a pointed look.

“This is closer. And besides, you heard the captain.” Jasper smirked, clearly pleased by this turn of events. “We’re supposed to take a seat.”

When the plane hit another bump, I ducked into the lounge without further comment. I took a seat in one of the leather seats and buckled in. Jasper closed the door then buckled in next to me.