Page 116 of Discretion

“May I?” I held out my arms for Evie.

He placed her in my arms. “Remember to?—”

“Support her head. Yes.” I laughed, peering down at the precious little bundle in my arms. “Your daddy loves you very much. But dating is going to be no fun.”

“Do not utter that word in front of my daughter,” Jackson said in a stern tone.

“What? Dating?” I taunted.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Okay. Time’s up.”

I laughed, gently spinning away. “Nice try. She’s mine for now.”

He continued to grumble as I followed him into the kitchen, where Sloan was standing at the stove. I’d visited their house a number of times since they’d had the baby, but I’d never been hit with such a pang of longing as I was now.

The smell of a home-cooked meal filled the air. The sound of Evie gurgling made me ache for a home. Family. Halle and Kai. Because that’s what they were to me—my family.

“You okay?” Sloan asked.

“Yeah. Yeah.” I tried to clear away those thoughts. “How are you?”

“Good. Sleeping a little more, which is nice. Evie’s been smiling more too.”

I peered down at my niece. “Have you?” I rubbed my finger along her downy-soft cheek. “Have you been smiling, sweet girl? Are you going to smile for your uncle J?”

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Sloan said.

“You didn’t have to cook for me,” I said, giving my niece my finger to play with. No smile yet, but I couldn’t wait to see one.

“I know, but I wanted to. It’s relaxing.”

She turned off the stove, and we carried the dishes over to the table to eat family-style. By that point, Evie had fallen asleep, and I followed Sloan to the nursery. I gently set Evie in her crib, in awe of this new life my sister had created.

“She’s precious,” I said, peering down at Evie’s button nose, her lashes fanning out over her cheeks.

Sloan smiled, hand resting on the railing. “She really is.” She turned to me. “I’ve never asked, but do you want children?”

My thoughts immediately went to Kai, and I tried not to get choked up. I kept my attention on Evie, nodding.

“How’s it going with Halle?” Sloan asked.

I froze. “Halle?”

“My chief of staff? The temporary SVP?” Sloan joked. “Ring any bells?”

“Right.” I laughed, though it sounded forced. “Halle, yes.” Sloan was asking how it was going professionally. “It’s going well.”

Personally, it was a bit of a shitshow at the moment.

I hadn’t spoken to Halle since our argument yesterday. I’d spent the rest of the afternoon working from home. I knew I’d pushed too hard, but I was also sick of hiding how I felt about her.

I hoped it was a fight, but deep down, I worried it was the end.

I wasn’t sure where we stood or even where we went from here. Not after Halle had made it clear that she wasn’t ready—might never be ready—to tell my family about us. I didn’t know how to assuage her fears. I didn’t know what more I could do to show her that I was here for her and Kai.Sometimes it felt as if no matter what I did, it would never be enough.

I thought about Halle and how she’d been touring houses. Planning a future for herself and Kai—without me. It felt as if someone had shoved a dagger between my ribs.

Sloan placed her hand on my shoulder. “You sure you’re okay?”