Page 49 of Discretion

I stilled, remembering us saying those two words under completely different circumstances. And somehow, despite her bravado, I wasn’t buying it. She didn’t mean it now, just like she hadn’t meant it then.

We stood just outside the door to my hotel room. Well, my second hotel room. The one I’d reserved at a competitor’s hotel so Halle and I could be together without the risk of being seen by any of the Huxley Grand London employees.

“We’re done,” she said. And yet, she was still standing there. Watching me with heat in her eyes.

I wanted to ask, “Then why are you here?” But I didn’t. If she wanted to pretend this was over, fine. I would play her game.

I leaned in, swiping the keycard in front of the lock, my words a whisper along her ear. “So done.”

She shivered and turned to look at me, and I saw my own longing reflected back at me. I slanted my mouth over hers as I opened the door, knowing that we weren’t done. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

She grabbed my lapels and tugged me inside with her. “I mean it, Jasper,” she panted, breathless from our kisses.

The door shut behind us, and I guided her farther into the room, shedding clothes as we went.

“Mm.” I kissed my way down her neck. “So do I.”

I met her gaze,and I knew she was remembering that moment too. And the look in her eyes told me far more than the words she’d spoken. We weren’t done. Far from it.

Three weeks passed.Three long weeks in which Halle and I stuck to our agreement to “be professional.” Neither of us mentioned that night in my penthouse or our past. I knew she was under a lot of pressure at home and at work, and I didn’t want to add to it.

I might want more, but a relationship with her was impractical for so many reasons. So, I’d tried to keep my distance.

It was fine. I was fine.

I wasn’t fine.

I was on edge. I’d seen her on and off—passing her in the halls, smiling between meetings. But every time our eyes locked, that knot of ache in my chest both intensified and loosened. It was pathetic.

I could barely look at Halle without thinking of what could’ve been. So I’d avoided her, mostly. I knew that wasn’t a winning strategy, nor would it be workable when Sloan went on maternity leave. But I didn’t have much of a choice. I was now the CEO, and Halle had agreed to be the acting SVP in Sloan’s absence. We were both committed to our jobs and the success of the company.

Halle deserved to be the SVP, even if it was temporary. But if anyone found out about our relationship, even if it was all in the past, people might question the true reason for her temporary promotion. They might doubt her abilities.

And then there was the matter of my position as CEO and the impact that my relationship with an employee could have on the company. This wasn’t just about me and my feelings for Halle; it was about all one hundred and seventy-five thousand employees who were employed by the HuxleyGrand, not to mention the communities that relied on the tourists our hotels attracted to the area. Even more than that, it was about my family. Our legacy.

I’d never fully understood Graham’s obsession with legacy until now. And if he’d had any idea what was going on, he’d kill me.

“You seem distracted today,” Sumner said, dragging me away from my thoughts.

Distracted?I wanted to bark out a laugh.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t just today. It was every fucking day since Halle had moved to LA. Before that, even, but it was worse the closer our proximity.

“Want to talk about it?” Sometimes it felt more like Sumner was my therapist than my life coach. I’d tried talking to therapists in the past but with mixed success. None of them got me, but Sumner did. Halle did.

I sighed. What was there to say?

“Do you ever find it difficult to remain committed to your goals?” I asked, opting to keep it vague.

“Who doesn’t?”

“Emerson,” I muttered.

Sumner laughed. “This again? Yes, your sister-in-law is an Olympic gold medalist, but she’s not a machine. I bet if you asked her, she’d admit to struggling with her goals.”

“But she didn’t give up.”

“Doesn’t mean she didn’t feel like it.” Sumner shot me a look. “Are you finding it difficult to remain committed to your goals?”